Chapter Twelve
Note- Carly's answer to Jason's question about moving in together will be eventually shown in a flashback.
A DAY LATER
"I know what you are trying to do," Carly told Jason. "And it won't work. It can't be done."
He didn't want to hear that. And wouldn't accept it.
She went on, "You can't stand between me and the whole world- between me and Jax- and fix everything for me. Sometimes I will have to be out of your sight, sometimes I will have to handle things alone, and you'll just have to...have some faith in me."
It wasn't a question of faith or even trust. It was about keeping her safe, keeping her here, keeping her his.
He said, "Its not you I'm worried about. It's the rest of the world."
She smiled. "Virginia used to say something close to those exact words to me when I was a teenager. But guess what, Jase?" Carly smirked. "It was me she should have worried about. I tossed myself headfirst into whatever danger or craziness I could find."
"No, really? That doesn't sound like you at all," he joked.
There weren't many people who even knew Jason Morgan had a sense of humor- only those he trusted most and the ones he felt like himself with- Spinelli, Brenda and, from the start, Carly.
She smiled. "But I'm not going to do that anymore..."
He gave her an unconvinced look.
"Not for a while at least," Carly said. "I just want out of this hospital and to get my life going again. I want...to talk to Jax."
Jason nodded. If he had it his way, he would pick her up and carry her to his car, then drive her straight to the penthouse and carry her inside. They'd stay there together till she was completely recovered and strong and he started to calm down again.
Since he watched her flat line, his nerves were shot. He kept worrying she could die, or leave him in some other way, and that fear made Jason's hands shake.
He didn't know how to live without seeing her eyes looking in his filled with love, and he didn't ever want to learn how to get by without that. But, in the end, Jason knew it wasn't up to him. For years it had been. For years she was his for the taking.
But now the control had all shifted. It happened the moment Carly stopped looking to men who reminded her of Jason- dangerous, deadly, sexy, all risk without asking for redemption types- and instead let herself love someone sedate like Jax. She made a choice for her future in that move.
Now it was time to make another. To either go back to that safe, happy marriage or to go back to Jason...and all she had once craved with all her soul.
The day before she had told him her choice. But still neither had tried living with it yet, and that would be the biggest test of them all.
XXXXXXX
Max was at the door asking if it was okay to bring the kids in for their visit now. Carly's face lit up with a smile as she said "Of course. I've missed them like crazy."
Then the boys were running into the room and towards the bed. Jason held out one hand to slow down Micheal while at the same time scooping up Morgan. "Hold on now. I know your Dad explained that your mom was sick and now she is better but you still need to be careful around her for a little while. Real gentle. Can you do that?"
"Yes, Uncle Jason," Morgan replied, dutifully.
Micheal said, "Sure." Then he eased closer to his mom and gave her a hug. "I'm so glad you're okay. What made you get sick?"
"Food poisoning," Carly lied.
Jason felt anger race through him at the thought of what Jerry did to her, but he pushed it down and focused on her and the boys once more.
"Lets not talk about me," Carly said "I want to hear about you guys. Have you been behaving for your father lately? Not tormenting that mean old Kate Howard, are you?"
"No," they chimed in unison. Though both of them wore guilty expressions.
"Too bad," said Carly. "She deserves it."
Jason chuckled. Watching her with the boys started to relax him and after a while his muscles unclenched and, for the first time since he saw the recording, Jason wasn't worried about this woman he loved and the fate of his family. For a few minutes, he felt like they were all safe- because finally they were all where he could see them and they were all wearing smiles filled with the love they had for each other.
It was a sight he felt blessed to be able to see, a little miracle he didn't deserve but got all the same.
XXXXXXXXXX
Jax walked in just as Max was taking the kids home. He said hello to his stepsons, hugged them and then they children left with their bodyguard.
Jason's whole body stiffened at the sight of Jax. His eyes went cold.
Jax ignored him, smiling instead at his wife. "You're going home tomorrow. Getting excited?"
Her smile was faked, Jason could tell that right away, but Carly tried to force enthusiasm into her tone when she said "Very. I need to be far away from this place. And believe me, once I am, I will not be stopping by to visit mama here or for anything else for a good long time."
"We should get out of Port Charles," Jax said "Go away on a trip. You deserve a getaway. Maybe Paris or-"
Jason cut him off. "She isn't up for traveling right now."
Carly shot Jason a look. Their eyes locked on each other.
"Oh," Jax said, looking back and forth between them. "well, maybe in a few months then."
Tears came to Carly's eyes. She looked down to hide them. Jason moved closer to her, which caused Jax to glare at him.
"Jase...give us a minute, will you? In fact, go home. Get a decent nights rest for the first time in weeks."
"No. I'm good."
Jax stepped close to Jason and said, in a low whisper, "Are you incapable of taking a hint?"
"Why don't you take a walk," Jason told Jax.
Carly said "Don't do this, either of you. Just don't."
Jax's jaw clenched. "I've put up with all I plan to out of you, Morgan. You've played bulldog guarding my wife since she was admitted but its enough now. Seriously. She's getting pulled in two because she's too nice to tell you the truth. This is a marriage and you aren't part of it. No matter how much you might like to be. So do what she asked. What your best friend wants. Go home and stay there. I'll take care of Carly from now on. She's awake and strong enough to tell us both that what she wants most is me- her husband."
"Really?" Jason asked, mocking him.
He knew he had to stop doing this- fighting Jax at every turn- but seeing the guy made his blood boil. Jax hadn't even asked about Jerry once and that made Jason suspect they were in contact with each other. If not Jax would have surely have asked if Jason had sent someone to kill his brother.
Jason added, "You sure about that?"
Jax shook his head in disbelief. His eyes asked Jason if he was kidding or just clueless. When all he got back was a hard stare, Jax turned to look at Carly.
She bit her lip.
Seeing the look in her eyes, both devastated and guilty, Jax breathed out her name. The single word asked every question he needed to know.
(Sometimes we'd never know what's wrong
without the pain.
Maybe you
want her .
Sometimes
the hardest thing and the right thing are the same.
Maybe
you need her .
Maybe you've started to compare to someone not
there. )
Carly moved her eyes over to Jason. His first instinct was to rush to her side but as he started toward her she held up a hand to motion him back.
Carly told Jason, her voice breaking, "I need you to leave now."
He hated to do it. It didn't seem right. She was in pain. Jason never could stand to see her that way, and to walk away with her when she was crying was unthinkable. But that is what she wanted him to do now.
The first tear spilled out of her eye and over her cheek.
Jax said, "You heard her. Get the hell out!"
"Carly," Jason said, his eyes never leaving hers.
Jax grabbed his shoulder and pulled him backwards. "Out. Now."
Jason shoved Jax and said "You touch me one more time and that's gonna be the last thing you ever do."
Carly started to get out of bed. "No. Stop this. You're both out of line."
"Stay in bed," Jason ordered.
She ignored him. "I can handle this on my own. I told you how it has to go..."
His eyes jerked over to hers. "Bed."
Her eyes narrowed at him but she got back into the hospital bed. Jason said "Do not get worked up. Don't let your blood pressure rise...breath. Stay calm...please. Do that for me. Promise or I'm not going anywhere."
"Fine."
"Say it."
"I won't get worked up. I'll...remember to breathe. Okay? I promise."
All he wanted to do was cross the room and kiss her. To mark her as his, like he should have done ten years ago, to claim her and their family as his choice. But he had already poured out his heart and she had already made her decision, now was the time for her to tell Jax about all that Jason had offered her and she wouldn't do it with Jason standing two feet away.
Jason took a few steps backwards, toward the door, his eyes staying on Carly. "Keep your promise then," he said. "Stay calm."
Jax hissed, "You're unbelievable. You don't get to tell her how to live and what to do. She thinks you're better than Sonny but all I see is a more subtle form of manipulation."
"That's not true at all," Carly said. "I know you can't understand this though..."
"Understand what?" Jax asked
And that is how Jason left them, with a question hanging in the air, and the remainder of his life resting in the answer.
(Maybe you want it
Maybe
you need it
Maybe it's all you're running from
Perfection
will not come Maybe you want her
Maybe
you need her
Maybe you had her
Maybe
you lost her to another
To another ) ( The Fray)
