Stephenie Meyer owns the copyright to Twilight and all its characters
The original characters, plots, and storyline contained within this derivative work are the property of Brits23 and Lazykate
(Translation: if you steal it, we will send Bitey after your ass…and not in a good way)
Just as a reminder-Lazykate writes the girls and Brits23 writes the boys.
Chapter Twelve -Mama Drama
EPOV
Normally I would have felt guilty for being completely drunk as fuck on a Wednesday evening, but given the current situation, I couldn't bring myself to care. The numbing effects of my beloved Johnny Walker had followed me from the dim airport bar and into Blue World, the lounge that was located in the lower level of my building.
My pop dropped me off and I had to fight with him for a good five minutes to get him to just fucking bail. I mean, I got it. He wanted to go in there and make sure my lovely mother didn't mindfuck me anymore than she already had in the past. But I would have been an idiot not to see the anxiety her untimely arrival was causing him.
He hadn't seen her in nearly thirty years.
He had sought extensive therapy over this woman.
And a part of him still loved her. Maybe an even larger part of him hated her. Either way, it was in everyone's best interest that I met with her initially on my own. If Carlisle later wanted to subject himself to the conceited bitch my mother had become, then so be it.
But yet, that neglected little rich boy inside of me held onto this tiny sliver of hope that just maybe this was legit. Maybe, after years of thinking of only herself, she had realized over a $200 glass of champagne that she was a mother. That she had a kid and she had been vacant through the years that mattered most.
I just wished she could feel something.
I wanted to watch her expression when she realized that I loved my fucking dad more than anything in this world, and I had known him for a fraction as long as I'd known her. I wanted her to really comprehend how utterly she had failed, that the man she deemed as an unsuitable companion was more noble and decent than she would ever fucking be.
So as I nestled into the corner booth in a dim, secluded area, I cradled my glass like a lifeline…and watched through heavy lids and blurred vision as Esme Platt-Masen walked my way.
She sat down without a word, motioning towards the waiter and ordering a glass of Chateau d'Yquem. The waiter retreated and she folded her hands together, meeting my eyes briefly before observing the table top. "How are you, Edward?"
"Never better. I was actually at a medical conference until I had to return early due to your arrival." I didn't attempt to mask my accusatory tone. Even though the business aspect of my trip was over, I was enjoying a few days of downtime before I went back to the real world.
"Well, I just wanted to make sure I was able to see you before I moved along to the family home in Palm Beach. It's nearly been a year since I've seen you, son."
"It's been two, Esme."
"Oh, well I suppose time has a way of flying by when you travel like I do," she chuckled flittingly, waving a hand as if it were nothing.
I didn't say a word.
Her $60-a-glass refreshment arrived and this entire encounter was becoming awkward fast. I just wanted to crawl underneath the table and wait until she tired of me. Instead I texted Bella, blatantly ignoring Esme as I did so.
Would you rather be burned at the stake, or eaten alive by fire ants?
Um, can I choose neither? What's going on, are you okay?
I'm just fan-fucking-tastic. And if you were wondering, I'd choose both options over sitting at this table, in this bar, with this woman who claims to be my mother.
What can I do?
I think you are the answer, Bella…
I'm here for you, okay?
My manaconda says thanks, babe.
You're horrible. :)
I'll call you soon, baby.
Okay, Edward.
"Edward, I think we should use our time together to talk, rather than ignore each other."
Esme's voice ripped me away from the hypnotizing words on my Blackberry and I catapulted back into the present. I took a long sip of my scotch and inhaled deeply. "Why do we keep doing this?"
"I beg your pardon?"
"Whenever we see each other face to face, it's awkward. Wouldn't it just be easier on both of us if you stuck to your late-as-hell birthday cards and bi-yearly phone calls?"
"I'm your parent, Edward," she said forcefully.
I chuckled lightly. "I already have a parent, Mom."
She visibly paled at the mention of Carlisle. "How…how is your father?"
"Don't even ask me that," I murmured deeply beneath my breath.
Silence fell across the table again, Esme going uncharacteristically docile at the disdain in my voice. I polished off my drink and motioned towards the waiter for a replacement. After another bout of silence and several swigs of my newly acquired drink, I couldn't help but throw my hands in the air. "Can we just fucking be done with this?"
And then, the most bizarre thing happen.
She burst into tears.
I stared on in horror and bewilderment as she sobbed into her cloth napkin. I quickly looked around to see if anyone noticed the scene, but we were secluded enough and it wasn't as busy as it normally was, given it was a weekday. So I sat there with my mouth agape, wondering what the fuck I was supposed to do next. Soothe her? Tell her that she made her own fucking bed and it was time for her to lie in it? Cry along with her?
I didn't like seeing any woman cry, but I couldn't help but feel a little indifferent as the tears poured down her face. I had a sneaking suspicion that they weren't real anyway, just a ploy to gain my sympathy.
"Why are you crying?" I finally choked out.
"I don't know, Edward. Where am I supposed to begin?" She lifted her eyes to mine and I took a moment to examine her. She was still as beautiful as ever, despite the fact that the Botox in her face almost made her seem expressionless. I was suddenly hit with a memory from when I was three years old. My mother had sent Maria, our housekeeper, home for the day. We made cookies from scratch and she let me lick off the spoon. She hugged me close and said I was the best helper ever. I started giggling as she stared at me for what seemed like forever. When I asked her why she was looking at me like that, she said in a distant tone that I looked so much like my father when I smiled.
I only later realized who exactly she was talking about.
Whether it was the alcohol or the presence of my mother, my brain was all over the fucking place. "Look, I don't know what you plan to gain by coming here. When I talked to you on the phone last week you were upset. Is the money running out or something? Do you need a loan? Because you can have the fucking money, Esme. It doesn't mean a goddamn thing to me."
My eyes began to burn as another silent sob fell from her lips. I watched as a single strand of auburn hair fell from the perfectly-structured updo on the top of her head. She was deep in thought, obviously trying to find words or actions or anything to relay what her fucking point was.
"Do you remember that time we went to Hawaii when you were seven?" she sniffled in a pathetic voice.
I nodded once. "Yup."
"Do you remember, your father had to go to one of his many conferences, and while he was gone we went snorkeling?"
"Yeah, I recall."
"You didn't like it," she chuckled through her tears.
I shrugged. "The instructor was constantly belittling me."
"You were seven."
"That's not an excuse," I rolled my eyes.
"We had fun that day, Edward. There were moments in our lives where we truly were a mother and son. I know I've been distracted by my lifestyle for the majority of your life, but the moments where we actually spent significant time together…they meant everything to me."
"And what brought on this realization?" I questioned skeptically.
She shook her head. "I know I haven't been the mother you deserve, Edward. I'm not saying I ever will be. But this life isn't fulfilling any longer. I'm constantly surrounded by people, but I'm forever alone. The only thing that makes me smile anymore are thoughts of you. Back when you were young enough not to resent me for the decisions I've made and the life I've lived."
I couldn't help but chuckle humorlessly at her words. "So you're telling me that you're sick of playing the rich socialite and you want to mend our relationship and build memories so you don't end up all alone?"
"It sounds selfish, and maybe it is, but I do want to know you, Edward. I want to know of your accomplishments, and the things that make up who you are as a man. Even your career as a veterinarian, you can tell me about that." She wrinkled up her nose as she mentioned my profession, which thoroughly pissed me off.
"I still don't understand why you think veterinary medicine to be so ghastly of a profession, Esme. I'm a doctor."
"I just think you have more potential, Edward, that's all."
"Well, I'd rather do something I love than live up to your ridiculous expectations. Carlisle couldn't be prouder of me."
Her hands began to shake as I mentioned my pop once more. "I don't expect you to believe me, or even accept my attempt at mending our relationship. All I'm asking is that you let me try. I've been Esme Platt-Masen for so many years now that I forgot who I truly was. I used to be a sweet young girl who wanted nothing more than to disappear with the love of her life. I didn't care about money, Edward. But when I sacrificed…Carlisle…when I made the decision to marry Edward Sr., I only had your best interests in mind. I wanted to give you a proper upbringing, and if that meant giving myself up along the way, then so be it."
I stood from the table and threw down a stack of bills. "That should have been a heartfelt declaration, but all I heard was me, myself, and I."
"There's so much we need to talk about, but I think it's important that we try. Can we spend some time together and see where it leaves us?" She was practically begging as she gazed up at me. She reached forward and took my hand, squeezing it as she trembled. Everything was so fucking jumbled in my mind, and I couldn't make decisions like this when I was jetlagged and drunk as hell.
Maybe I never could.
"If you still think this is what you want, then call me tomorrow. I'm tired, and I'm done." I let go of her hand, the hopeful little boy inside me squeezing it tightly before letting it fall. I walked swiftly out of Blue World and to the elevators, tears burning my eyes that knew better than to fall.
I wanted to go home. I wanted to curl up in my bed and send a few more texts to Bella, because when I had her to distract me, Esme was nothing more than a bitter and distant memory.
I just wanted to escape.
And the tiniest part of me wanted Esme to be my mother again.
BPOV
Two days had gone by since Edward's texts, and my anxiety over his uncharacteristic silence was getting almost to the breaking point. Jasper had quietly assured me that his best friend was fine, and that he always isolated himself whenever his mother was playing one of her mind-games, but his texts had me thinking that he was really begging otherwise.
I think you are the answer Bella...
I'll call you soon, baby.
That had been late Wednesday night.
Logically, I knew that Edward was a grown man, that he had been dealing with his mother his entire life, and that unless he indicated otherwise, I should let him contact me when he was ready. Part of me, though, remembered the anger and pain that had flared in his eyes the night he'd told me about his relationship with his mother, the abandonment he'd felt before even finding out that she'd been lying to him about his father all along.
I had a sneaking suspicion that Edward was more vulnerable than he wanted any of us...or even himself...to believe.
Friday night I sat by myself at home, absentmindedly flipping my Blackberry back and forth in my hands. Alice and Jasper had gone out to a movie, and Carlisle was working late again. He'd sounded unusually tense when I'd spoken to him yesterday, but he'd assured me it was just family drama and that I didn't need to worry about it.
It was a good thing, because I was saving all my worry for Edward.
I gritted my teeth together. I wasn't going to just show up at his apartment uninvited again, but damned if I was going to sit here and let Edward think he was alone while his bitch of a mother was busy trying to beat him down again. He'd been there for me when I needed him, I had to do the same for him.
With that thought at the forefront of my mind, I dialed Edward's cell phone number. If he wanted to tell me that he was okay and to please not call him again for a while, fine. But I needed to hear him tell me that.
The call went straight to his voicemail.
"Fuck!" I swore aloud, before tossing my Blackberry onto the coffee table. That was it, when the lovebirds got back I was pinning Jasper down until he gave me more details. Maybe guys were fine with the whole "let him have his space" thing, but after what Edward had told me, I wasn't sure it was what he actually needed.
My stomach rumbled and I wandered into the kitchen to stare aimlessly into the refrigerator. Nothing really looked good, and I was half-resigned to venturing out for some fast food when there was a scratching sound at the front door.
I froze for a moment and then straightened up slowly, trying to remember if I'd locked the door after Alice and Jasper had left. Yes, I had. I knew I had. I was a cop's daughter, I locked doors out of sheer reflex.
I closed the refrigerator door slowly, carefully, not letting it bang shut, and then padded slowly over to the front door to press my eye up to the peephole.
Nothing was there.
Weird. Very weird. It was too late for any deliveries, and definitely too late for any door-to-door salesmen or solicitors. But I knew I'd heard something and it didn't sound like a phone book delivery...
Another noise, a soft sliding noise up against the door.
I sucked in my breath and backed up, reached into the open hall closet, and grabbed the baseball bat that Alice kept stashed there for home defense. The logical part of my brain told me that I really ought to call the cops, that I should not open the door, but I didn't want to sit around waiting for them while someone was actually in the act of trying to break into my house.
The baseball bat gripped firmly in my right hand, I slowly twisted the deadbolt lock, wincing when it settled open with a tiny click. Then the chain lock, even more quietly, before I reached down and grabbed the doorknob. I squeezed the bat in my hand a split second before I twisted the knob and yanked the door open, throwing it hard so I could jump back and get both hands on my bat.
A body and then a head thumped backwards onto the floor with a muffled grunt. "Oh shit..."
"Jesus Christ, oh my God...Edward?"
"Oh my head..."
"Edward, oh Jesus..." I tossed the bat to the side and dropped down on my knees next to him, thankful that I hadn't immediately clobbered him. "What in the hell were you doing out there?"
"Stopping by to visit a friend," he groaned, one hand reaching up to rub the back of his head. "I just hadn't rung the doorbell yet."
"You were sitting on my doorstep, Edward, you scared the shit out of me."
"Sorry baby," he said softly, and then his eyes drifted closed. "I can go if you want me to."
"No, I don't want you to...God, just...get up off the floor and go into the living room, okay?"
He sighed and stood up slowly as I shut and relocked the door. "Glad to know my girl has home security down to an art form."
"Yeah, well, I've got to protect myself from random guys that squat on my front porch. Did you drive here?"
"Yeah."
"Are you drunk?" I asked suspiciously. He was a mess: his hair was sticking up in crazy random spikes, his face was pale, and there were dark circles under his eyes.
"No, not drunk. Just very, very tired." He slumped down onto the couch and I immediately sat next to him.
"I've been worried sick about you."
Edward shook his head. "When I sobered up, I realized I shouldn't have called you, or sent you those texts. This is your first experience with Hurricane Esme, you don't know how manic I get with her around."
"Jasper filled me in a little bit," I said carefully.
He huffed softly. "Did he tell you she's still here?"
"No, he hasn't told me very much at all."
"I'm sorry...sorry that I haven't called you, sorry that I didn't fucking ask if I could come over. I just needed a place where she couldn't find me. I couldn't take any more of her."
"Edward...please talk to me," I begged. "You need to get it off your chest, I can tell. You were there for me when I needed a friend, please let me do the same thing for you."
He looked at me then, his eyes red-rimmed and bloodshot. "You don't want to hear about her whole mindfuck, trust me."
"If she's fucking with you, then it concerns me," I said firmly.
Edward slumped forward slightly before his eyes drifted shut again. "I shouldn't have come here, I shouldn't have dumped this on you..."
I scooted closer and wrapped my arms tightly around him, pulling him against me until he sagged against my shoulder, tension vibrating through him like a live wire.
"I fucking hate that bitch," he finally croaked. "I fucking hate her, for everything she did to me, everything she did to my pop. And she knows, she fucking knows how much I hate her, so she does everything so perfectly to make me doubt what I know, what I've been through. I'm just like her little wind-up toy, she knows exactly what buttons to push and what to say to make me do what she wants."
"What does she want you to do?"
Edward groaned. "That's the true beauty of her mindfuck. She wants to make up for all the wrongs she did me growing up. She's apologized for not being there as much as she should have. She's begged my forgiveness for lying about my father for eighteen fucking years. She cries when she talks about what a horrible mother she was, and how much she regrets it now. She tells me I don't have to forgive her, that she's not expecting me to. And then she sits back and waits for all of that to fuck with my brain until I end up feeling like everything is actually my fault."
"Do you think maybe she honestly means it?"
He laughed bitterly and pulled away. "She means it only in that it's easing her conscience, making her feel better. At some point she realized she's getting older and while all the other ladies down at her club are waving around pictures of their new grandbabies and talking about their families, she ruined the relationship with the only kid she has. She doesn't really give a shit about me."
"How do you know?"
"Bella, the woman rolls into town and one of the first things she does is remind me that I'm not living up to my potential by being a vet. I guess you can't brag about your son's career unless it involves doctoring people instead of animals. Then she just won't leave me the fuck alone...calling me, leaving me teary messages, telling me that she can't forgive herself until she does everything in her power to make me understand how sorry she is. I just want her to back the fuck off."
"Do you?" I asked the question carefully, and Edward's eyes snapped over to meet mine.
"What do you mean?"
"Edward...if this woman had no control over you, your life, or your emotions, we wouldn't be having this conversation right now. Instead I found you sitting alone in the dark on my front porch, looking like you haven't slept in three days. You may want her to back off, but I'm guessing you want something else too."
His jaw clenched. "Sometimes, when she's crying or talking about me growing up...there were a few times when it wasn't bad, when I thought maybe she really did love me. It was easy to forget that she was the absentee fucking landlord on my childhood when I remember the good times. I mean, I was a fucking kid! All I wanted was for my mom to tell me that she loved me and then prove it. Instead I got postcards from Bora Bora or wherever the fuck she was. She missed my twelfth birthday because she was on vacation, Bella! What kind of mother fucking does that?"
I didn't have a reply so I squeezed his hand in my own.
"And what she did to my pop...God, even if I wanted to forgive her, how could I, with what she did to him, and to me? I mean...my real father is one of the greatest men I've ever met in my life. He thinks of everyone but himself, and just gives and gives because that's the kind of person he is. She cheated him out of his own son, his own child, and pretended like he'd never really meant anything to her. He spent years trying to get over that. And I'm not going to let her fuck with him again, I swear to God..."
"Edward," I said softly. "Did you ever stop to think that's your dad's battle to fight? He's a grown man, and if he's as wonderful as you say he is, or even half as wonderful as you, I bet he'd want you to settle with your mom based on how you feel, not on how you think you're obligated to behave because of what she did to him."
He shook his head stubbornly. "He's been a better parent to me than she ever was. I'm not going to stab him in the back like that."
I reached out to touch his face, running my fingers over the rasp of his unshaven cheek. "You are...Edward, you are an amazing human being. You're incredibly loyal and caring, and that's something I really love about you. But you have to let everyone she's affected deal with her in their own way. Your father included."
He looked up at me then, and the corner of his mouth lifted in a faint grin. "Well fuck me, I never thought I'd have Esme to thank for getting you to admit you love me."
"What?"
"You just said you loved me."
"No, I..." My mind scrabbled frantically. The words had come out so naturally, I hadn't even been aware I'd said them. "I mean, I..."
He groaned. "Don't try and take it back now, I'm too beat down for that kind of heartbreak. Love me, love something about me...whatever. I'll take it."
I squeezed his hand again. "There's just something about you, Edward Masen. You're always getting me to say and do things I hadn't intended."
"It's part of my charm." He started rubbing his eyes again, and I couldn't help but wrap him in another hug. For all his bravado, for all his anger, it was very obvious that there was a small boy somewhere inside Edward Masen, desperately wanting to believe that his mother had finally woken up and realized how wonderful he was.
"So where have you been, anyway?"
"I took yesterday and today off work...Esme and I went out to lunch Thursday, drama ensued. Today I kept refusing to talk to her, so she showed up at my apartment. More drama ensued. She's heading up to Palm Beach this weekend to one of her family's many vacation homes, and she wants me to drive her. For bonding or some shit."
"If it'll get her off your back, maybe you should do it."
"The thought had crossed my mind, but God...I don't know if I can do it. I don't want to listen to any more of her lies."
I kissed his cheek. "Feel free to correct me if you think I'm wrong...but even if she's doing it for selfish reasons, maybe she means what she says. And maybe it would make you feel better if you allowed yourself to acknowledge whatever you can get from her words. If you don't think she's lying when she talks about regrets, regardless of her motivation, accept it for what it is."
He shook his head slowly. "Baby...you're talking about forgiving her for so much more than I can even tell you about. I don't want a relationship with her. I don't want her in my life. I want her to leave us alone."
"She's not asking to move in or for you to forget the past, she's asking for your forgiveness. Whether it was for one little thing or for an entire lifetime of things, you only have to forgive her once." Edward was silent, considering my words, so I kept going. "Would it make you feel better to know you've dealt with her and moved on?"
"But she won't," he said heavily. "She won't. I just…I mean, she's not just down here to browbeat me into forgiving her for the past. She wants to be in contact with me more. She wants me to come back to Chicago and visit. She wants…" He swallowed hard. "She'll want to know you. And I don't want her to know you, I don't want her to touch all the things that are good about my life now."
"Then tell her that. You need to sit down with her and make her understand that she can't dictate your relationship now. If she's coming on too hard, too fast, tell her to back off." I ran my fingers through his messy bronze hair and he sighed a little as he leaned into my touch.
"I don't know. I don't really know what I really want from her. She hasn't given me a chance to think about it, let alone talk to her about it. I guess that's why I ended up on your doorstep…I needed to go somewhere where she couldn't find me."
"I'm glad to have been a safe harbor for you, then." With that, I stood and held out my hand to him. "Let's go to bed."
That wicked gleam I knew all too well sparked faintly in his eyes at my words. "Now you're talking."
"Shut up and come on. You look like you haven't slept in a week, and my bed is big enough for two. You can stay here tonight and figure out what to do with her tomorrow."
Edward followed me down the hall into my bedroom and then looked around curiously at the blank walls, the overloaded desk, and the neatly-made bed. "I can't believe I haven't weaseled my way in here before now."
I frowned in confusion before realizing that he was, in fact, the first guy to ever visit my bedroom in Miami. "Oh…yeah, well, we've never really hung out here before."
"Are we going to have that pillow fight in our pajamas now?"
"I should have made you sleep on the couch," I muttered. "And before you ask, no we are not sleeping nude."
"Aww, Bella…" The bastard gave me the panty-dropper smile just before he slowly peeled his plain black t-shirt over his head, perfectly aware of the effect his body had on me. I closed my eyes to keep from staring at the lean lines of his muscled abdomen, but when I opened them, he was fumbling with the button fly of his jeans and I started to question the wisdom of inviting him into my bed for the night.
"Keep your pants on until I'm out of the room."
"But it's nothing that we haven't seen before…and we'd be so much more comfortable…"
"Keep your boxers on, buster. I mean it." I turned very deliberately to grab a semi-modest set of pajamas out of the dresser and headed for the bathroom to change. My stupid traitorous body was screaming at me to start something that I knew wasn't in the cards for the evening; I didn't care if Edward had seen and experienced all there was of me, tonight was about something more than that. He'd proven that he'd cared about me in ways more than sexual ones when I'd shown up at his apartment and basically thrown myself at him, now I was going to do the same for him.
Of course all those thoughts threatened to go out the window when I came out of the bathroom to the sight of a half-naked Edward in my bed, looking like every fantasy I'd ever had and then some. He grinned and reached out his arms when he saw me. "C'mere and let's get our snuggle on, baby."
I shook my head, trying to ignore the heat flashing through me. "Have you got boxers on under there?"
"Yep, Scouts honor!"
"You weren't a Boy Scout," I reminded him, before poking him in the side. "Move over."
"How do you know I was never a Boy Scout?"
"You told me the night we first met, remember? Now roll over."
He complied and I curled up behind him, wrapping my arms around his chest and resting my cheek against his bare back. He heaved out a long sigh of relief as our bodies relaxed slowly into each other. "I'm glad I came here."
"Me too."
We lay quietly for a while, Edward stroking my hand where it rested on his chest. "Bella," he said finally, "When you went to go live with your dad…why weren't you pissed at your mom?"
"Well…I don't know, maybe I was a little bit. But I was only seventeen, and I'd been taking care of her for years. Besides, it wasn't as though she forced me to go."
"But don't you feel like she picked your stepdad over you?"
"I guess I never really thought about it that way. It was a completely different situation from yours, Edward."
"Yeah," he said shortly, before moving his fingers up over my wrist to touch the sensitive skin there. "Palm Beach is just over an hour from here, I'll take her ass up there if it means she goes away. Fuck, I'll stay the night if it means she listens to me instead of this non-stop harassment bullshit she's had going on."
"I think that's a good idea."
He sucked in a deep breath. "Do you think I'm being an asshole?"
"No!" I replied quickly. "Just because I'm telling you to think about forgiving her, it doesn't mean that I'm taking her side. She's got a lot of bridges that she chose to burn, and right now she's trying to build them all back at once. She can't expect you to just deal with that."
Edward suddenly yawned so widely that I heard his jaw crack, and I couldn't help but giggle. "Why don't you just try and get some sleep?"
"It's gonna happen whether I want it to or not."
"Why wouldn't you want to sleep?"
"Because I'm trying to make sure I remember every second of being here in your bed."
I kissed the soft skin between his shoulder blades and then lay my cheek back against it. He smelled and felt so good, but I willed away my lustful thoughts from earlier, wishing with all my heart that there was some way to magically take his conflict away and undo the damage his mother had systematically inflicted over the past twenty-seven years. I personally could care less about her feelings, or her sense of resolution, but it hurt to see Edward like this. I wanted him to come to some kind of understanding with her, even if it was a promise that she would never set foot in Miami again.
When I didn't respond aloud to his last words, I felt his body slowly melting against mine, and a few minutes later he began to snore softly. He'd looked like hell and I wondered if he'd gotten any sleep since getting back from Las Vegas.
I lay awake myself for the next hour or so, hugging him tight, listening to him breathe, and trying to fight back thoughts that scared me too much to consider, worries that were starting to nag at me more often than not. My own words were coming back to haunt me, betraying the inner turmoil that I didn't want to admit to anyone.
About Carlisle. And Edward.
Because as much as I hated myself for it, I loved them both, in very different ways and for very different reasons. I couldn't have them both, though, and despite all my preaching to Edward about resolution, I was too selfish and scared to do the same thing.
But lying here, with Edward sleeping in my arms, I knew that I was going to have to make a decision.
One or the other, or neither. I couldn't have them both anymore.
EPOV
I woke up to the shrill beep of an unfamiliar alarm clock. Normally my first instinct would be to toss the damn thing out the window, but I was surprisingly alert. I took in my surroundings, remembering the previous night and the steps that had lead me into Bella's bed. The road was shitty, but the ending result certainly wasn't.
I smiled as Bella grumbled and slammed her fist onto the snooze button, grumbling about not knowing why she set the alarm on a Saturday in the first fucking place. She pressed her face into the crook of my neck and threw her arm across my abdomen, pulling herself tighter to me as I held her in my arms. A month ago, this intimacy would have given me a shit ton of anxiety, but I couldn't deny the fact that waking up next to Bella, now for the second time since I'd known her, was proving to be a very heavenly experience.
I pressed my nose into her soft hair and inhaled deeply, my eyes falling closed as I lost myself to her sweet scent. Peace. Complete and utter fucking peace. Was I ready to be this woman's boyfriend? Did she even want me to be? I didn't have the answers, but I knew that with every moment spent by Bella's side, the bond only thickened between us.
And speaking of thickening…
I subtly tried to move my hips away from Bella as she settled her thigh higher up on my leg. I figured she'd kick my ass right out of bed if she felt my morning wood all up on her.
I really wanted her to feel it though.
Hmm…I had to change my train of thought before my balls went from cerulean blue to a deep shade of violet.
So instead I thought of something equally as painful and completely unrelated. My mother. Even though I had woken up to a pain-in-the-ass shrieking noise, I still managed to feel a million times lighter. I looked back on the days since Esme had blown into town and her presence suddenly seemed so minuscule in the grand scheme of things.
Why did I let that woman bend me so far out of shape? So she was a crap-ass mother. Yeah, the shit stings and the scars would never fade, but there's sure as hell no way we could go back in time to change it. So she was begging me for a relationship. Chances are she'd get tired of that shit before her flight landed on the next beautiful, tropical island.
Esme Platt-Masen had burned me good, and even though some part of me would always care for her because she was my mother, the rest of me just had to let that shit go. There was no point in dwelling on the 'what ifs,' nor did I want to. Suddenly everything was so incredibly clear…and I had my girl to thank for it.
I leaned down and pressed my lips gently to Bella's forehead before reaching across her and turning off the alarm. I knew it was only a matter of time before the horrendous beeping started again, and I was positive I could think of a much more pleasurable way to wake her.
I kept it chaste, not knowing how far she'd want me to go. My lips traveled across her eyebrows, over the apples of her cheeks and along her jaw, worshipping this gorgeous woman like I'd never get another chance. I felt like there was never enough time with us.
And the way she made me feel...it was like my heart was going to burst, my stomach was a roller coaster and my arms couldn't hold her tight enough.
Did I love her?
Holy shit, Masen. One predicament at a time.
I pressed my lips gently to hers. "Wake up, Sleeping Beauty."
Her eyes fluttered open and her lips turned into a lazy grin….until her hand flew between my mouth and hers. "Morning breath!" she murmured hastily, jumping out of bed and rushing to the bathroom that was connected to her bedroom.
I laughed and slowly climbed out of bed, running my hand through my jacked-up hair before leaning against the door frame of the bathroom. I folded my arms across my chest and smirked as her eyes met mine in the mirror. "I don't have my toothbrush, Bella."
Her eyes widened as I pushed off the frame and came to stand behind her. "You can use mine," she mumbled through a mouthful of foam.
I chuckled and inched my way closer, leaning one hand against the countertop. Her eyes followed my movements, lingering on my chest for a little longer before she focused on the task at hand. "Still checking out the goods, I see." I smiled crookedly as she rolled her eyes.
"Don't watch me spit," she chastised with a full mouth of toothpaste.
My dirty thoughts were never ending.
I averted my eyes to the ceiling as she rinsed her mouth, and once I heard the water turn off, her eyes met mine. "Still want it?" she whispered.
I suppressed a groan, letting my hands come to rest on either side of her on the counter. "I've never stopped wanting it, baby." I licked my lips and rested them on the shell of her ear, letting them slide smoothly down until I pulled her earlobe between my teeth. "I'm going to brush my teeth, and then I'm going to kiss you, Bella."
I watched her delicate throat as she swallowed heavily, twisting her neck until our noses touched. I could taste her breath on my tongue, my cock now achingly-hard as the sexual tension crackled between us. Wordlessly, she handed me her toothbrush, breaking our heated trance.
I never took my eyes off her reflection as I brushed my teeth, slowly sneaking one hand around her slender waist and stroking the skin beneath her shirt. My thumb circled her belly button and her eyes involuntarily closed, her palms resting heavily on either side of the sink as I watched her carefully. I slid my hand around and ran my knuckles across her lower back, gently stroking up and down her spine. Her skin was smooth as silk, and my eyes nearly rolled into the back of my head as I watched the goosebumps form on her pale flesh.
Faster than she could process, I turned her around, grabbing her by the waist and setting her on the edge of the counter. She was breathless as she gazed up at me, still unable to speak as I leaned down to rinse my mouth. When I was nothing but minty-fresh and nearly ravenous with arousal, I wrapped my arms fully around her waist and pulled her into my body, her sweet little ass nested precariously on the edge of the countertop.
She gasped as she came into contact with my aching dick, pressed tightly between us as I kissed the smooth skin behind her ear. "Don't tell me no, Bella," I murmured ever-so-softly, kissing a path down the side of her neck and across her shoulder. "You know this is more than sex…you know it is. Let me worship you, baby. This is only about us…"
She sighed heavily and rested her forehead on my shoulder, letting her hands link between my shoulder blades as she pulled me tighter against her. "I don't know…I don't know," she murmured, lifting her head until our eyes met significantly.
I smiled softly and ran my fingertips along the side of her cheek. "It's okay. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have even-"
Before I could even finish my sentence, her lips were on mine. I exhaled into her mouth as my hands dropped to her ass and pulled her tighter against me. I didn't even have time to catch my breath before her mouth was on mine, the result leaving me slightly lightheaded as my tongue traced back and forth along her bottom lip. "You have to let me in some time," I teased, referring to our first encounter so many weeks ago.
She moaned in response, letting it trail off into an aching groan as I slowly began circling my hips against her, my cock finding purchase right where I needed it to be. She was so hot underneath her thin pajama bottoms. "I thought I said I was going to kiss you?" I whispered as we parted to catch our breath.
"You took too long," she smirked.
I was tasting her tongue before the words were even out of her mouth, because Edward Masen doesn't make the same mistake twice.
I knew we weren't going to round the bases or anything, and I felt guilty for even asking, but being the horny bastard I was, I couldn't help myself. The truth was, I was perfectly content with fucking her with my tongue and dry-humping her shamelessly, because fucking hell did my girl feel good all up on me.
She began pushing her hips against mine just as eagerly, our bodies undulating in a perfect rhythm as our tongues swirled frantically together. I groaned as she pulled my hair with her fist, the fabric of her nightshirt twisted tightly between my fingers as we moved together.
I knew she was so fucking close to cumming, I could see the wild gleam in her dark eyes that I recognized from one night that would forever be burned into my memory. I was just as close to having a cum-in-my-pants experience as well, until the loud bang of a door ended all that.
"Bella, what the hell are you doing in there, playing with your new space shuttle…whoa! Hey Edward, nice boxers!"
I swiftly looked over my shoulder to see a thoroughly-amused Alice, her lips turned into a smirk as she observed the situation. Bella pressed her face into my shoulder and groaned - this time, it wasn't from pleasure.
And wouldn't you know it, Alice was still fucking standing there.
Bella and I both looked at her in exasperation, when finally understanding lit up in her eyes. "Oh! Right, okay, I'll just um, go make some coffee? Or some bacon? Are you guys hungry? You probably will be if you finish what you've started. So, yeah! I'll just be in the kitchen!" After another five seconds of silence, Alice turned on her heel, disappearing from the room just as quickly as she came.
What the fuck.
Bella continued to cling onto me with her face pushed into the crook of my neck, and just when I was about to get back to business, she let out a loud, giggling snort. Her laughter shook both our bodies, doing nothing for my ever-raging hard-on. "Something funny?" I said in a tight voice, reluctantly chuckling along with her because what can I say, it was hard not to laugh when my girl was.
"Yeah, Alice was born and hilarity ensued," she laughed softly; it slowly faded as she met my eyes. "Sorry."
I sighed deeply and rested my forehead against hers. "Don't be sorry, baby. I can't remember the last time my morning started out so damn good."
"I don't know," she shrugged, wrapping her arms around my neck. "You seemed pretty happy the last time we woke up next to one another. I believe I heard you singing 'Baby Got Back' in the shower as I was leaving your apartment."
I smiled widely, pressing a long, sweet kiss on her now swollen lips. "Maybe you just make me happy."
Her beaming smile said the words I knew she wouldn't allow herself to say.
We begrudgingly pried ourselves apart and got dressed. Since I had missed the past couple days of work, I knew I needed to get in there today and catch up on my paperwork, even though I didn't want to leave Bella's side.
We walked hand-in-hand into the living room, the smell of charcoaled bacon wafting from the kitchen. "Nice seeing you, Alice!" I waved from the living room, smirking at her somewhat sinisterly.
"You too, Edward, even though I saw a whole lot more than I was expecting!" She smiled widely and waved her spatula at me, leaving me to wonder what the hell a spatula had to do with frying bacon.
Perhaps no one would ever know.
Bella opened the door and revealed a beautiful Miami morning. We leaned on either side of the doorframe and smiled at each other like two smitten teenagers or some shit, and Christ, I was just feeling better than I had in ages.
"Well, I'd say your mood has improved since last night," Bella spoke softly, tightening her fingers around mine.
"Yeah, and I have you to thank for it. I really thought about what you said, Bella, and you've given me a lot of insight. I need to stop taking this whole Esme thing so seriously. Chances are she'll get tired of making an attempt, and if she doesn't, than I can contemplate my next step from there. But either way, I don't need to let her have so much control over my emotions. You helped me realize that, baby." I smiled at her softly, bringing her hand to my mouth and gently kissing her knuckles. "I don't know how to repay you."
An evil gleam shined in her eyes and although she said nothing, I couldn't help but smirk right back at her. One thing I was learning quickly about this woman, what she didn't say with words, she said a million times louder with her expressions.
"I'm just glad you're feeling better, Edward. I hated seeing you so upset."
"Well in that case, maybe we can spend some time together once I get back from driving Esme to Palm Beach. Maybe…" I trailed off, not knowing what to say, but feeling something heavy lingering between us. "…maybe we need to talk about things."
I let my eyes burn into hers, trying to silently convey what I thought my mind was thinking but blocking my fucking mouth from saying. Damn…I wanted this girl to be mine, officially and truly.
Mine.
Her eyes became murky and conflicted at the mention of our impending conversation, so I hurriedly sailed over it in order to make her turmoil disappear. "Hey, it's no big deal, Bella."
She smiled, although it didn't reach her eyes. "You're right, Edward. We'll talk." She squeezed my hand once more and let it go before standing on her tiptoes to press her lips to mine. "You need to get to work and I need to shower. See you soon?"
I hugged her tightly and reveled in the warmth of her body before kissing her once more. "Yeah, all right. Call me later?"
She nodded and gave me one last chaste kiss, smiling sweetly as she slowly closed the door.
Holy fuck, my heart was beating out of my chest.
I was walking to my car with the biggest fucking spring in my step, when suddenly my phone began ringing. I looked down to see 'Mommy Dearest' on the screen, only this time, instead of being a punk-ass bitch, I manned up and answered the phone.
"Yeah?"
"Edward, don't hang up."
I sighed. "I'm not going to hang up, but I am going to be late for work. What can I do for you?"
I was met with silence on the other end as I started my car, and I really didn't have time for this shit. "What's the deal, Esme?"
"I just wanted you to know that I talked to your father…for quite awhile. There was so much that needed to be resolved between us."
I immediately began panicking as I imagined all the damage that she could've potentially inflicted upon my pop. He was over her bullshit, but then again, it was all flying back in his face at brute force." Did you fuck with him, Esme?" I growled menacingly.
"No, I didn't Edward, but it was extremely emotional for us. We could both use someone to talk to, I'm sure."
"I'm sure you could," I spat condescendingly, hitting the gas harder as I turned off of Bella's street. "I've got to go."
I called work and informed them that I wouldn't be in today after all. While Bella was right by reminding me that my dad was a grown-ass man, it didn't change the fact that Esme had the power to fuck him up in more ways than one. My pop was my best friend, and whether he told Esme to fuck off or she made him fall to his knees…he needed me.
And unlike others in his life, I would never fucking let him down.
.
A/N:
Brits: Jeez, one minute I feel all sad for Playboyward, the next I want to jump his bones. What the hell?
Kate: I have a better idea...remember that thingy they do in Wayne's World, with the alternate endings? DOODELY-DOO, DOODELY-DOO...
SCENE: A meadow filled with flowers…Brits and Kate run to the center, falling into each others' arms as violins swell in the background.
Kate: TWIN! I've MISSED YOU! AND LOOK OVER THERE...PLAYBOYWARD AND DR. FUCK-ME-NOW, ALL NEKKID AND WAITING FOR US!
Brits: Doood, twin, has Dr. Fuck-me-now been prescribing you some of the good shit? And if so, pass it the hell over. Cuz I see some trouble on the horizon and I'd prefer to be heavily medicated.
Kate: If by medicated, you mean getting all dranwk and hiding under the bed again, I will not argue with you. In fact…move over. Because I agree that storm clouds may be brewing on the horizon…or maybe I DID just hit the good stuff too hard…mix that shiz with champagne and you never know what happens…
Brits: We just need to focus on the happy times. Like, remember that smut-take we wrote for Fandom for Preemies? Dayum, that was fun to write...
Kate: Oh dear Lord yes...and to think it's all SOOPER-EXCLUSIVE to the Fandom for Preemies compilation: (www(DOT)fandomforpreemies(DOT)blogspot(DOT))...that makes it all naughty and such. BECAUSE YES, YOU CAN ONLY GET IT BY HEADING OVER THERE AND CONTRIBUTING, YO! No amount of persuasion will make us give up the goods otherwise!
Brits: That's right, not only will you get a fuck-hawt DLS outtake (and wouldn't YOU like to know which hot-doc is starring in it! MUAHAHAHAHA!), but plenty of other talented authors donated their skill to the cause. Even as small as a $5 donation will get you your all access pass to outtakes, smut-takes, and one-shots galore! Check it out!
Kate: HEY TWIN! Guess what Dr. McYummy just showed me? (Aside from the usual, y'know...)
Brits: Ummm, so he DIDN'T show you his giant peen? I don't understand...what is it?
Kate: ASIDE FROM THAT, obviously! So you know that whole WONKA-VISION from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory? In honor of Halloween, I'm beaming you a king-size Almond-Joy right now...y'know...Mounds...with NUTS!
Brits: Mmmm...nuts. Well, to our lovely readers, you can follow us on Twitter (Brits23 and Lazykatevamp) and if you would be so inclined, would you drop us a review or fifty? My twin and I sure do love hearing from you! Any predictions on what's next for our favorite threesome? (Don't be pervy, you know what I mean). Drop us a line and let us know! Until next time! :)
Kate mumbles around Almond Joy nuts and Brits translates: Thank you and we LOVE YOU! Talk to you soon!
