The mission wasn't going to plan. He'd been separated from the others and was now trapped in a ring of fire waiting to discover what Lucifer had in store for Dean and Sam. He'd already tried to sway him to his side. Unsurprisingly Lucifer, like Zachariah and the others, didn't understand the concept of loyalty, yet expected it.
And like the others Lucifer underestimated that loyalty. Yes he was angry with Dean. It was a human emotion that he just couldn't deign, but he wouldn't betray him, not now, not ever.
What had happened had been a mistake, one he'd allowed Dean to make for his own selfish reasons, because he'd given into human temptations and desire that were growing stronger the longer he was on earth.
The desire he'd felt last night was nothing to the un-names pain he'd felt this morning, he'd sensed Dean's shame and embarrassment instantly and had known that Dean wouldn't want him to remain, but it had been his tone that had hurt Castiel most. The lack of faith. That Dean would think he would tell anyone about what they'd done.
Castiel understood digression. He understood privacy. He understood that Dean would not want Sam to know and he would not betray him by telling the younger Winchester about something Dean was clearly ashamed of. His loyalty was to Dean, not Sam. He had not told him about what had happened in Hell, he would not tell him about what had happened last night.
Castiel stood surrounded by fire; alone and in silence. His mind couldn't help but wonder. He tried to stop it but as he stared into the holy flames, he could see Dean's face while he'd kissed him, while he'd touched him.
He felt his flesh prickle at the memory. The intense feelings were beyond anything he could have imagined and no matter how hard he tried to fight them they were a part of him.
The orange turned to gold and back again. Castiel stood with his arms hanging at his side. The only movement was the flexing of his fingers as they remembered the way Dean had lifted them to touch his flesh.
His mind would not allow him any peace in the silence. His thoughts turned from last night to the endless timeless moment he'd pulled Dean out of hell. From the touch of Dean's body to the first time he'd touched his soul, binding it to his grace.
Castiel had known that he'd left a little of his grace with Dean when he'd forced him into his human form again. He'd seen the hand mark he hadn't realised he'd branded into that form. Even he couldn't understand why it was there. He'd been in his angel form when he fought his way through the armies of hell to reach the tormented soul. He'd been in his angel form when he'd repaired his rotting corpse. He'd been in his angel form when he'd force Dean back into that corpse and breathed life back into it. But there it was a permanent remind of what he and Dean had shared.
And it was most defiantly Castiel's hand. When he'd touched it last night he'd felt the surge of graceful warmth that he recognized as his own radiation from it.
Castiel felt his grace burn against his human form, reacting in its own way to the human sensations and Castiel wondered if as he had left a bit of his grace with Dean, had Dean given him a piece of his soul. Was that why human emotions felt so natural within him? Was that the reason why he'd turned against Heaven so easily, without a thought?
Castiel wasn't sure why but that idea both scared him and gave him a confidence he hadn't felt in a while. He belonged to Dean as much as the hunter belonged to him.
He was still contemplating this when the demon Meg arrived to taunt him, curving her body seductively as she smiled at him, telling him that they were going to win.
Castiel had already thought of a plan to escape his trap, his mind had distracted him, but he was back on track now. He knew he had to get away if he was going to help Dean. So he concentrated on turning the bolts on the drainage pipe above him, all the while distracting the demon, telling her what Crowley had told them. Moment by moment he could see the doubts in the demons face, though she tried to cover them with seductive smiles and laughter but Castiel could see the shadows in her gaze. At long last the final bolt gave way; the pipe fell and catapulted the demon into his arms.
Castiel placed his hand to her head intending to send her back to hell, only to discover he'd finally lost that ability. The longer he was cut off from Heaven, the more he lost.
Meg smiled up at him, taunting Castiel while pushing her female body against his, her hands brushing at his thigh. Castiel stared down at her and wondered if this was meant to give him some kind of excitement, he felt nothing. He wondered if kissing a female would feel anything like when he'd kissed Dean, but he had no desire to kiss this demon. - This female.
His only desire was to get away from here. To find Dean and Sam before Lucifer was able to hurt them.
"So what can you do you impotent sap?" she scorned with a smirk.
Castiel looked at her deeply. "I can do this."
Meg's body fell across the holy flames. Castiel could smell the odor of burning flesh as he used the body as a bridge. Then he was gone.
Castiel found them crouched in the greenery. Dean was injured and Sam was watching in horror as Lucifer unleashed Death. Castiel gestured for them to be quiet as he reached out his hands to grip their arms and teleport them back to the Impala.
They didn't hang around, Sam jumped into the driver's seat while Castiel help Dean into the passenger's seat before appearing in the back seat.
The car sped pass the abandoned station-wagon that would never be driven again. In the rearview mirror they could see the smoldering remains of the hardware store where Ellen and Jo had given their lives to save the world.
Dean slouched down in his seat, tears burning in his eyes. It had been for nothing. The colt hadn't worked. Lucifer had succeeded in releasing another Horseman and he'd lost two more members of his family.
"I'm going to kill that bastard Crowley." Sam said with a harsh tone that sent a shiver through Dean's spine. He hadn't heard that tone since Lilith and look how that had turned out but in this instance he was with his brother all the way.
