Author's Note: I'm purposely vague about the doctor. She gets her own introduction in the next chapter.

Chapter 12—Him

Spike was not sure exactly what brought him to Atlanta. It was one of the few cities on the East Coast with a really well organized Slayer squad. That meant a couple things for him. One, the Slayers there were more likely to know not to stake him, and two, the Slayers there were less likely to need him.

It was tough work being a freelance champion. After what happened in L.A., Spike and Angel had gone their separate ways, which was fine with Spike. But for the last four years, he'd had trouble finding a place to settle down. The real problem was that he knew exactly where he wanted to be, in San Diego, with Buffy, but Buffy was not ready yet to decide whether she wanted him there. So he wandered, but nowhere ever felt like home.

For a little while though, Atlanta seemed as good a place as any for him to stay, at least until he wore out his welcome. Slayers, especially clusters of them, tended to be fascinated by a vampire with a soul. He was not sure if this was because of the incongruity of their existence or because their fabled romances with Buffy, but a good Slayer squad would put him up for at least a month.

The set up in Atlanta was not quite as elaborate as what Buffy had in San Diego, with the dormitories and the formal training facilities. The goal was to buy up a building someday to make everything nice and centralized, but that would take money no one had at the moment. So for now, the girls made their own living arrangements and the squad was based out of the Slayer doctor's large house near downtown. Because of its convenient, wholly owned basement, that was where Spike was staying for the moment.

The one real benefit of being further south was the slightly shorter days, but even in Atlanta, the days were so long in July that Spike got restless in his basement room. On that particular Saturday, he wandered upstairs around mid afternoon because there was nothing better for him to do. He was talking with a young Slayer in the kitchen when the phone rang.

The girl got up from the table. "That's the Slayer line; I should get that." She took the phone from its mount on the wall. There was a pause after she answered, and then she brightened up. "Oh, hi, Mr. Harris. No, she's in New York right now. She should be back... Oh, yeah, okay. Well, you have her cell number, right?"

From the moment Spike heard the Harris name, he took note of the conversation. The Slayer went on explaining why the doctor had gone up to New York, but Spike only wanted to know about Xander's reason for calling, and nothing she said gave him any more information about that. When she finally hung up with Xander, Spike causally asked, "What was that all about?"

The girl sat back in her seat and shrugged. "Some kind of emergency in San Diego. Something they need a specialist for."

That was what Spike was afraid of. He no longer cared about playing it cool. "Was it Buffy? Did he say?"

She picked up a salt shaker and rolled it around in her hands, looking down instead of at him. "He sounded really worried, kinda tense about something. So either it's really bad or it's someone really important. Or both."

Spike looked over at the curtain keeping the glaring midday sun from turning him to ash. He was going to find a way to get to the other side of the country quickly; he just had to figure out what it was. The Slayer put down her salt shaker and gave him a half smile. "I'll call the airport, see if there are any red-eyes to California."

So far, it was all about her life in Sjornjost for Anya. She talked a lot about Olaf, about how he was the only one in the village who was not annoyed by her irksome questions. No one else talked to her much; even her own father had often wanted her to stop talking when she was a child. But Olaf loved her exactly the way she was. "He was a big man, burly, a good warrior." Anya looked critically at Xander when she said this part.

Xander was not particularly bothered by the Olaf talk because it was over a thousand years ago and he knew how that story ended, with infidelity and trolls. Besides, his Anya had specifically told him once that she liked him better than Olaf, back when she had full access to her feelings and memories. So she could talk all she wanted about how wonderful he was, because if things continued in the same direction, she would remember Olaf's faults soon enough.

He was much more concerned about the fact that for the last several hours, she had not remembered anything that happened past 8-whatever A.D. When Willow and he were sent out to get more food because Anya had eaten her way through Buffy's pantry, Xander asked her in the car whether there was any possibility that she had erred or miscalculated somewhere.

Willow took some offense at this. "Hey, I calculated the best I could, and I measured twice, cut once. And it's working, maybe not the way we thought it would, but I think, with the info I had, I did pretty well. Plus, and I think we should focus on this, not real time. She remembered twenty years in one afternoon. At that rate, she'll be remembering you in..." The math took some wind out of her sails. "Two months. Less than even. And that's only if..."

Xander was not looking for a pep talk just then. "That's if her memory doesn't stop there. Which is another possibility, right?"

Willow sighed with annoyance, and Xander knew that he had probably just snapped at her when none of this was her fault. He was about to apologize when she answered the question. "Actually, I don't think it is. It's all in there. When she need to conjure up a name, she managed to pull out a made up middle name from her time with you. So, as far as I can tell from my very limited information on the subject, the memories are in there; she just can't get at them. The spell was supposed to work off associations. She was supposed to look at us and remember pieces of her life with us first. That would have been the best case scenario. Worst case was that she would be stuck in a 9th century mindset thinking she was a Viking maiden. We seem to have hit somewhere in the middle. It's just going to take time."

Without realizing it, she had hit the problem on the nose. He made sure to get the apology in before continuing with his concerns. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to attack you or your methods. It's just, what if we don't have time? The demon said that she was going to die one way or another, and we still haven't found a way to stop that. What if this is all the time we get?"

Willow softened. "I guess the memory is really just the tip of the iceberg. I don't know how we can figure out how to stop it when I don't even know what's happening to her."

Xander pulled into the grocery store parking lot. "You know that there's something physically wrong with her, something so serious that the doctor should hurry. Want to clue me in on what you were sensing there?"

Willow shook her head. "I really don't. I have some suspicions, but I want the opinion of a trained medical professional before I voice them. All I'll say is that there is powerful dark magic surrounding... No, there's powerful dark magic inside her body. And because of that I made extra, triple sure that she was not a demon this time around. But she's not; it's not her dark magic. It's this new vengeance demon's. You said she was a fan of yours. Any chance she'd be willing to talk to me about what she did there?"

Xander thought about that. Calreg had been somewhat helpful in her own way. They would not know anything that was happening if it were not for her. Still, Xander did not think that was a resource they could count on be able to mine. "She hasn't reversed the spell and killed Anya yet. I think that's all we can really ask of her at this juncture. She's still a demon, after all."

Willow opened the car door to go into the store. "Buffy said she really liked Chex Mix, which I'm pretty sure they didn't have in ancient Scandinavia. So that might be a good sign."

Xander was not sure how comfortable he felt hanging his hopes on Chex Mix, but it had been a favorite snack food of hers back in the day. That could mean nothing more than she had the same taste buds and Buffy had it in stock. Still, it was something. He did not want to spend too much time away from Anya, so the two of them quickly loaded up the shopping cart and headed back to Buffy's.

When they got there, Anya was still playing Olaf's greatest hits, so Xander did not feel like he had missed anything. Buffy casually mentioned that it was okay if Anya did not want to tell them every detail of what she could remember, but the subtlety was lost on Anya. Xander did not mind that much, even if she was talking about being in love with another man. He was hearing details of her life that he never had before.

Sometime around eleven, after dinner and Chex Mix, Anya began to talk about the local barmaids with a slight bitter tone. "There was one, Rannveig... I never liked her. Everyone knew that she wanted Olaf for herself; he was our village's bravest and strongest warrior. But he swore that he had no—" She started the sentence proudly, but halfway through, her face fell. "He swore... with her Baltic hips..." She chuckled wryly. "He swore that he had no interest in her." Then something hit her like a flash. "Oh god, I was a demon."

She did not sound upset about it, just surprised. She looked up to see all of them staring at her. "I know you already told me that, but it just seemed so... unlikely. I guess the origin story should have been a tip off. Things couldn't have changed that dramatically in five years." She got up from her seat on the couch. "I think that was enough remembering for one day. And it's late, and you need to go home," she said, looking right at Xander. "So, I'm just going to get ready for bed, and we can pick this up tomorrow. With 'the doctor', which doesn't sound at all ominous." She made her retreat to the bathroom.

Willow went to clean up in the kitchen, leaving Xander and Buffy alone in the living room. Buffy stretched out her arms. "I should probably stay with her again tonight; there's still demons out there gunning for her. Have the Alpha team patrol, at least for a couple hours."

Xander nodded. With all this Anya drama, it was easy for him to forget that there were still sacred duties that needed to be taken care of. "Yeah, I'll head over there now. Just tell Willow to meet me there."

He started to get up, but Buffy put her hand on his arm. "Wait, there's something I wanted to say, but Anya was always around." She paused, and Xander waited anxiously to hear whatever it was that she could not say in front of Anya. "It's about what Willow said last night, about not wasting your second chance."

Xander was still worried that she was going to tell him something about Anya that was supposed to change that. He was still trying to figure out what it meant that she had someone else's dark magic inside of her. "What about it?"

"It's not really just that simple. Even with her, if Tara came back now, after five and a half years with Kennedy, it wouldn't be the easiest decision. Or at least, I don't think so."

Xander could see her point with Willow and Kennedy, but he was not sure how it applied to his situation. If she was talking about Erica, then it was an easy decision for him. "I don't think I get what you're saying."

"What I'm saying... I'm trying to tell you that you shouldn't feel obligated to still be in love with her. I mean, you have all that history, and you've been mourning for her for five years, thinking about what you should have done differently, saying that you should have just married her when you had the chance. And now she's back, and you do have the chance to fix all the mistakes you made. But a lot has changed in the last five years, and it's okay if you don't feel the same way you used to." She stopped him from speaking. "I know you're going to say you do, and if that's true, then Willow's right and you shouldn't blow it. But there is a difference between still caring about her and wanting to spend the rest of your life with her, and I just think that you should take some time to figure out what you really feel now."

Xander supposed he could understand what Buffy was saying, but right then, he could not even think about the rest of his life. Time. Both Willow and Buffy wanted him to let these things take time. They did not see the ticking clock hanging over Anya's head. For today, all that mattered was that he still cared. There wasn't time for him to do anything more. None of that was anything Buffy needed to worry about, so he just said, "I'll take that into consideration. Thanks."

Xander had gotten up again because he still needed to give Alpha team their marching orders. Before he could get to the door though, there was a loud insistent knocking on it. Banging like that at this time of night was never a good sign, and he opened the door without even checking the peephole. He had not been expecting to find Spike on the other side.

Spike looked around frantically, but he did not enter the apartment. "Where is she? What's happened?"

Xander started to wonder how Spike had heard, but then he realized that it must have been Andrew and his weird man crush on the vampire. It still did not make sense for Spike to be acting this way over Anya, or at least Xander did not want it to make sense. He was not sure what he was supposed to say.

Spike looked past Xander at Buffy behind him. He sighed with relief. "He said you needed the doctor. I thought you were-" He stopped when Willow stepped out of the kitchen. "Well, the gang's all here. It looks like something dire's going down."

Anya turned on the water to drown out the voices outside, and since it was on, she splashed some on her face. The fact that she had really been a demon was not what was messing with her head. It was length of that tenure. The weight of a thousand years had just all come rushing back to her. There were no details beyond that first day with D'Hoffryn, just the crushing weight of her long life. Willow had told her, but somehow hearing it was not the same as knowing it. She understood now why the memories had to come back over time, what Willow meant when she said kablooey.

She heard the pounding on the front door, and she wanted to ignore it. She wanted to stay hidden in this tiny room. Now that she had met D'Hoffryn, now that she remembered meeting him that was, she comprehended what it meant that he had a single minded thirst for vengeance against her. He was pleasant enough in her memory, but she could feel the darkness in him. It was not fair though, for her to let Buffy and Xander deal with her mistakes, whatever they were. She had to at least make an appearance.

She turned off the water and opened the door, but she did not find one of D'Hoffryn's killers standing in the entryway. Instead, it was a strangely familiar blond man. He glanced at her, turned back to Buffy, and then he did an actual double take. "It's the whole gang," he said with a small amount of wonder. Then he looked to Willow. "Now how is that possible? I would have thought you'd learned your lesson about raising the dead."

Anya took a couple steps out of the bathroom. The man had just confirmed what she was already feeling. "I know you."

"We didn't do it this time," Willow said. "So you're with the doctor? Where is she?"

He was staring at Anya. "Still in New York, I wager. I was in Atlanta when this one called." He stayed in the doorway, not coming in. "So the doctor's for you then?"

It was coming back to her slowly, in a fog. "I remember you. I just can't... remember."

Xander turned from the door to look at her, but Anya ignored him. It was like everything she did hurt him, and she was sick of seeing that wounded puppy dog look on his face. She should not have to apologize for remembering something recent just because it was not Xander.

The blond man was looking at her like she was crazy, and Buffy explained concisely. "She was brought back by a demon, and she has amnesia."

"Lucky girl," he said. "Can I come in?"

Buffy wrinkled her nose. "Haven't you been here before?"

He held his hands up as though there was an invisible barrier. "Once, but I didn't come to the apartment. Just give me an invite already."

Buffy waved her hand. "Fine, come in."

Anya was starting to put things together. "Oh, you're a vampire. That's okay; I'm a demon."

"Ex-demon," Xander corrected.

"Right, sorry." Anya smiled, not taking her eyes off the blond man. He had an unusual name; she tried to place it. "It's just you're the first person here I actually recognize. I knew you." Things in the fog took shape. "You were there for me when Xander... When he was mean, when—when we had problems, you were there."

"I bet," Xander said under his breath.

Anya did not know what he meant, and she did not care. This man's name was on the tip of her tongue. It started with an S, something about railroads. It was driving her crazy. "Spike! You used railroad spikes."

Spike nodded. "That I did. Don't much like to talk about those days anymore."

"Oh, did you trade in your black hat too?" The first full memory came to her. "You saved me once. The first time D'Hoffryn was sending guys to kill me, you saved me."

Buffy took Xander's arm and pulled him to the open door. "Well, you should be going now. You have work to do, remember?" She lowered her voice. "You don't need to be here for this."

With one last look at Anya, Xander took his leave. Willow was right behind him. Spike watched them go and then turned back to Anya. "Could you try not to talk that way in front of him? The boy and I barely get along as it is."

At first Anya wondered why everyone was so concerned with Xander's feelings when she was the one going through a difficult time here, but her frustration melted away when Spike said that he didn't get along with the boy. Anya tried to remember more. "It was more than once, right?"

He shrugged. "I reckon there were a number of times your life needed saving."

"No, I mean there was more than one time that Xander did something wrong and you were there. You understood... You always understood better than anyone else." She knew there was something she was missing, a piece that was staying just out of reach. "Maybe it's because you're a demon too." It came to her then how real demons thought of vampires, and the words just kind of slipped out. "A filthy half-bred, but a demon nonetheless."

"Lovely," Spike said under his breath. "Yes, I remember the first time now. We ran into each other at the Bronze and just talked, commiserated."

He was looking at Buffy, emphasizing the just talked, and Anya realized that there was something between those two that she did not want to get in the middle of. It was not a memory that told her that; it was just the atmosphere in the room. "Well, that's all I remember for now. So I'll just get back to getting ready for bed."

She backed her way into the bathroom again. As she washed up for real this time, she reflected on the memories that came back to her that day. In the grand scheme of things, they were not much. Even with Spike, she remember two, maybe three isolated events in what must have been years of knowing him. She still had a long road ahead of her, and it seemed so daunting.

When she came out in her, or really Buffy's, pajamas, Buffy was alone in the living room. "Where's Spike?" Anya asked.

"Huh?" It seemed that Buffy had been lost in her own thoughts. She looked up now. "Oh, well, I don't really have room here for everyone. I mean if Willow didn't stay, then obviously... We have a place for him at the facility. Basement, no sunlight; it's better."

Anya was not sure how it would be better for Spike to be in a building full of young Vampire Slayers. She did not quite remember Slayers yet, but the name was self-explanatory. On the other hand, it was occurring to her then how strange it was that the head Vampire Slayer had invited one into her home for a casual chat. She supposed that was another one of those things that would make more sense when she could remember it.

Author's Note: It is beyond the scope of this story to resolve the Angel/Buffy/Spike triangle, partly because I have trouble deciding how I would want it to resolve. Right now, Angel is not scheduled to make an appearance in this story. But the only reason Spike's here and he's not is because Anya didn't know Angel, and Spike is a good tool for hurting Xander.