Penelope hunkered down on the couch, pulling a blanket over her lap as she tried to get into a comfortable position. Kevin was puttering around in her kitchen, and she knew that he was making her some ice cream, since she had found herself craving that. Finally, she turned on to her side so that she could watch the television, knowing that Kevin was going to play League of Legends for a little bit before going home.
"I found some peanut butter gelato in your freezer."
"Perfect," she replied as she took the bowl from his hands, watching him settle into the rocking chair and power up his laptop, sending the picture to her television as he joined a raiding party and then began to play. "I really need to learn this game, you know. It looks fun."
"You just like the way you can ambush others."
"Guilty!" she sang out, and he shook his head a little as he got up and brought his laptop to her. "Ooh, I get to learn now?"
"Yeah, this is a pretty good group, they'll watch your back as we go along." She grinned before kissing his cheek a little. "Now, I'm only going to be here for an hour, since I drew the short stick and have to take the early shift to cover for McMillan."
"All right," she replied as she lifted her legs, letting him settle down on the other end of the couch. It didn't take her long to learn the basic functions of the game, but she was disappointed that she had to quit so soon. The hour that Kevin had had went by so quickly, and she was soon kissing him good night and watching him go out the door.
As she finished eating her ice cream, Penelope stretched out on the couch once more, flipping through the channels, but not finding anything that caught her eye. Once finished, she picked up her laptop and let it set on her lap, uncertain of what to do next.
A part of her wanted to just dive right in, to find out everything about this Erin Shaw that she could, to figure out her past, and her present. Her fingers hovered over the keys, however, and she wondered what had her so nervous about discovering what was there, waiting for her to figure out. It was a puzzle, it was an enigma, and it was everything that Penelope hated to leave unknown. If she were looking into an unsub's life, she wouldn't hesitate to dive right in, to turn over every stone in their past until she knew every single iota of information on them.
This, though, was much more personal, and she thought that might be a reason for her hesitancy. Sighing a little, she picked up her phone and turned it over and over in her hand, wondering who she could call to talk about this. All of her close friends would just say what she wanted to hear, she needed an unbiased opinion, and there was only one person that she could think would give her that. Unlocking her phone, she scrolled through her contacts until she found Erin's name there. It was a bit ironic, that her mother and her Section Chief should share a first name, but Erin was fairly popular, and besides, there was Erin and Aaron on her team, too.
It only took a moment before she pressed her finger on Erin's number, and then she was bringing the phone up to her ear, waiting for the connection to be made. "Penelope? Is everything okay with the baby?"
The concern there helped set her heart at ease, and she gave a small nod before answering. "Yeah, everything's fine there. I just, I need some advice, and I need it from someone who can give me an honest opinion. Since we haven't really been on the friendliest of terms until recently, I'm hoping that can be you."
There was a soft, almost happy, sigh in the background, which made Penelope smile a little wider as she wiggled her feet, waiting for Erin's response. "All right, what do you want to ask me?"
"So, I'm looking for my birth mom, yeah?"
"Yes."
"Well, I found out her name today, and now I'm trying to decide if I should go digging and try to find out everything about her before I meet her, or if I should just find out who she is now and reach out, letting her tell me everything about her past. There's a large part of me that wants that instant gratification, especially since I do know her name, but…I'm waffling. If you were in my position, what would you do?"
There was a long pause, and Penelope twisted the fabric of her skirt around her fingers as she waited to hear Erin's voice once more. When it came, though, Penelope instantly picked up on the strange, almost melancholy, sound in it. "I would just find out her contact information and then reach out. After all, there was probably a very good reason as to why she gave you up for adoption in the first place. If you don't get the answers you need after you do reach out, then I would ask for her medical records, just so that you know if there are any hidden genetic bombs that you might need to plan for."
Penelope released the breath that she had been holding, before letting out a soft sound of agreement. "That's actually the best advice I've gotten from anyone, Erin. Thank you."
"You're welcome. Is there anything else I can help you with?"
"No, but, okay, don't take this the wrong way. I really appreciate this. Being able to call you like this, and know that you're listening, well…it's a good thing."
"And now you sound like Martha Stewart," Erin said with a light laugh. "I have to let you go. David's trying to beep in, and I don't want to miss our nightly call. I'll see you tomorrow?"
"Sounds good." They hung up without really saying goodbye, which she knew was par for the course with Erin. Flopping back against the couch, she opened her laptop and took a look at the notes she had made on her mother's identity on her phone as everything booted up.
Once everything was ready, she logged into her system at the office and once more called up her search engines. She had a good place to start, since the birth certificate had listed her mother's birthdate. Using that information, along with the fact that she knew where her mother had been living at the time of her birth, she searched for records on Erin Shaw. She was able to find her birth certificate, and from there learned her own grandparents' names, which made her smile.
Still, that wasn't enough to tell her who the woman was now, so she looked for newer information on the woman, hitting pay dirt when she finally uncovered a marriage certificate for her. This was closer to her current home, having been issued in Annapolis, and Penelope felt her heart drop into the pit of her stomach when she saw that name of the name that her mother had married. "Matthias Strauss," she murmured, as the implications around the name washed over her. "No, it can't be. She would have given me some clue that she had given a child up for adoption, I know she would have. There is no way…"
Furiously, she typed away at her computer, logging into the FBI mainframe and then poking around in the personnel files. And just as she went to bring up the information that could potentially change her life, in myriad different ways, she hesitated. Feeling the same nausea that she had every morning since she had discovered her pregnancy, she set the laptop onto the coffee table and ran over to the bathroom, sinking to her knees as she bent over the bowl and threw up. It didn't take long to regain control of herself, and she sat back, wiping away tears and taking deep, calming, breaths as she got to her feet.
After washing her face and flushing the toilet, Penelope went back to the couch and sank down onto the cushion, picking up her laptop once more and staring at the screen. Somehow, she had to reconcile the information she had just found out with what she had thought about Erin for so many years previously. And the only person she could call to talk about this was Kevin.
