Asahi was right, there had been more rumours being passed around, and none of them friendly. I had no idea where they were coming from, or who would spread something so nasty, and I didn't care. Tsunade had already talked to me about them, letting me know that now I was a Chunin, and of age, there wasn't much anyone could do about it. If Kakashi and I did pursue a relationship, it was considered perfectly acceptable. I had snorted at that, telling Tsunade I doubted I would ever have a relationship after how I was raised. She had looked at me with concern, but did not pursue the issue any further.

I had been a Chunin for several months now, though I had only been on a few missions. Despite my interest, few teams seemed to want to have anything to do with me. After Yui had attacked me so viciously in the Chunin exams, I suspect her team may have had a part to play. Still, I did get a mission every now and then, and each time I did my best to prove myself.

"What if we just say we're in a relationship?" I asked Kakashi, laughing as choked on his dinner. "They can't do anything about it, and most people are attacking us because they think we're lying about it."

Kakashi had recovered, and sat back against the couch. "I don't think that's a good idea," he answered slowly. "I don't mind the gossip. Besides, I wouldn't want to confuse you."

"Confuse me how?" I asked, voice dangerous. He turned to face me, taking my bowl from my hands and placing it on the coffee table. Leaning in slowly, he brushed my lips lightly with his, and sat back again. It was the first time he'd done anything of the sort since the night I had been promoted to Chunin.

"I wouldn't want you to think it was a joke," he murmured, and fled into the kitchen.

"You just confused me," I called, and was met with silence. "Damnit Kakashi, you can't just do that to a girl."

I followed him into the kitchen, mind caught in a whirlwind of thoughts and emotions that were snatched away when I tried to grab them, only to be replaced instantaneously. I had followed him without thinking, without knowing what to say or do. He was standing at the kitchen sink, knuckles white where they gripped the bench top.

"Look at me," I whispered.

He turned to me, struggling with an emotion I could not identify, and watched me. I approached him carefully, wary of startling him and provoking an outburst.

"Look at us," I smiled sadly. "We're both broken, aren't we? Do you think we can learn to be a little less broken together?"

I traced the scars visible on his arms, humming a soft tune that my mother used to sing for me. Kakashi was tense, struggling with something internally, though I did not know what. He reached out to me and began to trace the scar on my hip, eyes never leaving mine. He had begun to wear the headband over his eye less while at home, and I began to lose myself in the Sharingan.

Kakashi leaned forward, and I found myself standing on my toes as he kissed me again. His lips parted slightly, and I could taste him. Wanting more, I deepened the kiss, and felt him stiffen. He pulled back, pushing me away in the same motion.

"What are we doing?" he asked, voice husky.

"Do you want the literal answer, or is that a rhetorical question?" I deadpanned, earning a laugh.

"I don't know if I can do this," he breathed.

"Me either," I admitted. "But maybe it will be good for us, letting the past go."

"If only it was that easy."

"We can try," I grinned, leading him towards the bedroom. He followed, uncertain. Tracing his scars again, I followed one across his collarbone and down his chest, slowly removing his shirt. He let me run my fingers lightly over his skin, raising goose bumps as I went. Looking into his eyes, I smiled nervously.

"Your turn."

I placed his hand back on my hip, stretching as he slowly traced the scar there. As I stretched, my shirt lifted, exposing more skin. Kakashi frowned as he lifted it higher, fingers tracing scars he hadn't noticed before.

"I've always covered them," I murmured. "I didn't want anyone to see."

Three long scars ran parallel to each other across my stomach, starting at the top of my right hip and finishing just below my ribcage on my left side. Kakashi ran his fingers along them, looking at me questioningly.

"I told you Father was careful not to leave any scars. One of his associates was not so careful. He was dealt with, but the damage was done."

I lay back on the bed, stomach exposed. Kakashi joined me, still tracing the scars. We lay like that for a while, both of us adjusting to the personal revelations at our own rates. I had never shown anyone those scars before, and my heart was racing.

"Should I start looking for my own place?" I asked, breaking the silence. "Now that I'm a Chunin, the next step was to move out. Before things got complicated anyway."

"There's no rush," Kakashi murmured, still staring at the ceiling.

"Ok."


"Look out!"

I flinched, performing the Water Prison jutsu just in time. Fire roared around the bubble I had encased myself in, warming the water. Once it had passed I released the jutsu, coughing. I had forgotten to breathe before cutting off my air supply.

"Are you okay Miya?" Asahi gasped, running towards me.

"I'm fine," I answered, laughing. "Ki- My teachers in the Land of Rivers would have been proud of that one," I grinned.

"You're distracted," Izumi-sensei scolded. "You need to pay attention, you might get badly hurt. Or worse."

"Sorry Sensei," I answered, trying to look and sound contrite. "I'll pay attention, I promise."

"You'd better," she frowned. "Something's changed about you. I hope it doesn't get you hurt."

She walked back to Riku to continue his training, still frowning. I felt guilty that I couldn't tell her about what had changed, I knew it was worrying her. She was right to worry; I felt untouchable, free from caring if I got hurt or not. It was a struggle to control these feelings, and I knew that if I didn't I would get hurt, just as she had warned me.

"Did you want to keep going Miya?"

"Yep. Give me your best shot," I taunted Asahi, racing away.

He followed, laughing. We were practicing combining our taijutsu and ninjutsu in an attempt to get the two working together. Using the Raging Waves jutsu on Asahi, I followed up with shuriken, hiding their flight in the water. He knew the trick and parried the shuriken, following up with his own.

It wasn't long before Izumi-sensei called a halt to the training. We would have exhausted ourselves had we continued on much longer, and she was still watching me closely. I smiled reassuringly, feeling another stab of guilt. It was for the best, even if it did hurt not to tell her.

Trying to get a grip on myself after training, I wandered over to my usual spot by the river to meditate. The sound of the water calmed the fire burning in my veins, and I relaxed. Closing my eyes, I breathed in deeply and held it, counting to ten before slowly releasing it. I repeated the process with each breath, gaining more and more control of my emotions.

Footsteps in the leaf litter made me pause, listening. I remained perfectly still, eyes closed, trying to identify the potential threat without giving away that I knew someone was there. The footsteps got slower and more careful as they approached, revealing that at least two people were near me.

A sharp pain in my arm finally made me move, and I leapt onto the river, running across its surface to the opposite bank. I recognised Yui and her sensei watching me from the bank. Looking down, I pulled the senbon from my arm, studying its point.

"Which poison is this?" I called nonchalantly, hoping to provoke someone into answering.

Neither of them said anything, just watched as the poison did its work. I felt heavy and sluggish, as if I was moving through thick mud. Soon I had collapsed, unable to move at all as the poison paralysed me. That was when they crossed the river and approached me.

I glared, but could not speak. The poison that had coated the senbon had done its job well. Yui pulled out a kunai and pressed it to my collarbone, slowly dragging the point across my skin. Pain flared where the blade had been, but I couldn't scream, couldn't even twitch.

"It's working," Yui grinned. "She's all yours. Just leave something for me to play with afterwards."

"Go stand guard," he ordered, and knelt beside me. "I've been waiting for a long time to do this," he hissed in my ear, hands on my hips.

I watched helplessly as he lifted my shirt, licking the blood from my wound. He lightly brushed my breasts with the palm of his hands, the fabric of my bra providing scant protection against his touch. Grinning, his touch began to roam lower, leaving little to the imagination.

A shriek cut the silence like a knife, and he turned in time to catch a kunai in his shoulder, dangerously close to his neck. Yui had been grabbed by Izumi-sensei, and knocked unconscious when she would not. Stop. Screaming.

"Let her go," the man above me growled, holding his own kunai against my throat.

Izumi-sensei hesitated, and placed Yui on the ground, moving away from her slowly. I was lifted and held in place, kunai still resting on my neck.

"You don't want to do this," Izumi-sensei warned.

"I believe I do," he retorted.

A breeze fluttered past, and hope filled my chest. I knew that presence, that smell. I must have been able to smile a little; Izumi-sensei glanced at my expression, and relaxed.

"You really don't," a voice growled dangerously from behind us.

The man holding me (I still did not know his name) tensed. Slowly he lowered me to the ground, dropping me the last few centimetres in an attempt to free himself from Kakashi. Surprise, it didn't work. Now he had a kunai in each shoulder, and still had one pressed to his throat.

Izumi-sensei had approached, covering me and applying pressure to the cut on my collarbone. Thank Kami I still covered the scars on my stomach. She lifted me, ready to carry me to the hospital.

"Asahi, have you got her?" she called.

"We have her," he answered grimly. He and Riku had Yui immobilised, ready to drag her back to the village.

We took a less used route to get to the hospital, to avoid drawing too much attention. Yui had woken, and Riku had gagged her to keep her quiet. We must have made an odd procession walking through the hospital doors. A medic immediately took charge of me, wheeling me into an examination room once Izumi-sensei had set me down on a gurney.

I lost consciousness at one point while I was being treated, and woke to sunlight streaming through the window onto the bed. My head was throbbing, making it difficult to move. Giving in, I closed my eyes again.

"Miya?"

I opened my eyes slowly, groaning.

"Wow, she's really disappointed to see you Asahi," Riku joked.

I smiled at that and sat up, holding my head in my hands.

"Take it easy," Izumi-sensei chided softly. "You've had a rough day."

"I'm just glad I can move," I croaked, attempting another smile, and failing. "Where are…." I trailed off, coughing.

"Tsunade is holding them, she wants to deal with them personally," Riku answered, and shuddered.

"I need to…. Rest," I mumbled, eyelids drooping.

"We'll be back tomorrow," Izumi-sensei murmured. "Get some rest."

The three of them said their goodbyes and left the room, giving me a chance to relax. My eyes had begun to close again, and I couldn't fight it any longer. I let the darkness take me again.

I woke to predawn light and the light of street lamps. Stretching my legs, I brushed against something on top of the sheet. Kakashi was asleep on the chair beside the bed, head resting next to my legs. Smiling, I nudged him lightly. He had snuck in after visiting hours, and really should go home and sleep in his own bed.

Stirring, he sat up and stretched, glancing my way. Seeing I was awake, he moved closer, hair sparkling in the light from the street lamp just outside the window. I smiled again, and he smiled back, mask around his neck.

"You should be at home," I whispered.

"I needed to know you were alright," he murmured in reply.

I felt tears well at that, and angrily brushed them away. Kakashi grabbed my hand and held it, squeezing gently.

"Go back to sleep, Miya. I'll still be here." He leaned forward and kissed me, stroking my cheek. "I promise I'll still be here."

Surprisingly, sleep came easily once again, and I drifted off. I was back in the basement again, but this time it was different. I wasn't afraid, and looked around the room curiously. Children lay on the floor in groups, huddled together in an attempt to stay warm. A few hung from the walls, their wrists held up by chains.

The door at the top of the stairs opened, and light flooded in. Those who could move scurried as far from the light as they could, and I realised that the few who didn't move were, in fact, dead. Men in strange masks entered and began to remove the bodies while a figure watched over them.

"Numbers 3, 8, 7 and 14. Come with me."

I stepped forward with three other children and followed them up the stairs. As we got closer, the light burning brightly made it difficult to see what was happening. I could almost make out some shapes in the room beyond…

I woke with a jerk, screaming, sunlight streaming through the window onto my face. The sudden movement got Kakashi's attention, and he rubbed my arm until I had calmed down. He really had stayed.

"I wasn't the only one," I gasped, sobbing. "There were so many children. So many. They died. I- "

A nurse had entered the room, alerted by the screaming. She was speaking rapidly with Kakashi, but I could not hear them. The dream, the memory, still had a strong grip on me.

"I'm right here Miya," a calm voice broke through my hysterics. "I'm right here, come find me."

I fought, caught between the memory and what was happening around me, the screams and cries of lost children echoing from my own mouth. I had been one, but I had survived. I wasn't in the basement anymore, I was free. The noise in my head began to subside, and I opened my eyes again, not realising I had squeezed them shut. Sunlight still streamed through the window, highlighting Kakashi and a nervous-looking medic, watching me.

"Shit," I croaked, and vomited into the bucket shoved into my hands.

The medic handed me a glass of water; I washed out my mouth before the drinking the rest. In the bright sunlight, the memory was fading fast. I knew it was important I remember it, but I could only hold on to fragments.

"This is beyond the hospital's capabilities," I heard the medic say quietly, voice hushed. "You know who needs to be brought in on this."

I leant back against the pillows, pretending I couldn't hear them. No matter how hard I tried, I could not force that memory to the surface. It lurked in the shadowy depths of my mind, taunting me from a place I feared to go. Waiting for the next chance to weaken me, to break me.

"Don't tell anyone," I sighed. "I can handle this."

The medic shot Kakashi a sceptical look and left, taking the bucket with her. I watched her go, hoping she would keep this to herself like I'd asked. No one else need to know, not until I was ready to tell them. If I was ever ready to tell them.

"Sai!"

I shot up suddenly and groaned, grabbing my head. The sudden movement had been a bad idea. I lay back again as I waited for the pain to fade, refusing to close my eyes again.

"Easy," Kakashi chided, handing me another glass of water. I drank deeply, throat raw from screaming. I hoped I hadn't disturbed anyone else.

"Sai," I said again, voice steady. "He was there, in the basement with the others. I knew he looked familiar."

I gulped down some more water, excitement spreading through me like wildfire. Finally, these nightmares I kept having were starting to make sense! Too bad it took an attack for the memories to surface, even briefly.

"You need to relax," Kakashi said, eye twinkling in amusement. "You've been through a lot." He sobered, watching me carefully. "That poison they used on you, it was designed to be lethal. Tsunade and Sakura worked all night on finding an antidote."

I stared at Kakashi, aghast. Though the attack had been malicious, cold, and calculated, I had never even considered that it might be fatal. The implications of this for Yui and her sensei would be staggering.

"What's going to happen to them?"

Tsunade will hold a trial, and deal with them personally. She's absolutely livid, it's quite terrifying," he responded, voice deadpan.

I smiled weakly, unable to settle on one emotion at a time. My mind was in turmoil, though I was doing the best I could to stay focused on what was happening right now. I shifted slightly, grimacing. Pain flared on my chest, and I remembered the cut Yui had made. Looking down, I saw that my chest and right shoulder were swathed in bandages, covering the wound.

"And here I was hoping to avoid getting scars for a while," I joked. "I'm not doing so well with that, am I?"

"Better than some," Kakashi replied.

"Are you going to tell Izumi-sensei?" I asked quietly. "About my nightmares?"

"No, that's your decision. You'll have to tell someone eventually though," he warned.

"I know," I sighed. "There's something important buried in them, but I don't know what it is." Kakashi chose that moment to yawn, leaning back in the chair. "Go home," I laughed. "You're exhausted, get some sleep."

"I suppose you're right."

He vanished, leaving me alone in the room. Sighing, I resigned myself to a boring day, until I rolled over and saw my book sitting next to the glass of water. Smiling to myself, I picked it up and began to read.


"How are you feeling?" Izumi-sensei asked quietly.

She, Riku and Asahi had all come to visit after their morning training session, and they had brought lunch with them again.

"Much better," I smiled, munching away on some ramen. "The food isn't horrible, but it isn't great. How anyone is expected to eat it for extended periods of time is beyond me."

Riku laughed. "We thought you might like some real food every once in a while."

The three of them had visited me every day for the past week, brightening my afternoons and providing actual food for lunch. Shizune had wanted to keep me under observation for a while. Given my track record with re-opening wounds, I couldn't blame her, though it was rather boring. Few people knew I was in here, and while it was lonely, I was grateful for the fact.

Kakashi visited at night, preferring to come at a time there were fewer interruptions, and he was less likely to be seen. I still wasn't sure what was happening between us, but I was glad to see him all the same. His presence helped calm me, and I hadn't had a nightmare since I had first arrived at the hospital.

"We'd better go guys," Izumi-sensei called to Asahi and Riku. "Is there anything we can get you for next time?" she asked, turning back to me.

I smiled, shaking my head. She had asked this every day, and every day I had given her the same answer. I didn't own much, and my book was enough for now. It would have to be.

"Alright then. Get some rest Miya, hopefully you'll be out of here soon."

"I don't think Shizune wants me to leave at all," I joked. "She's worried I'll end up right back here again."

"It wouldn't be that surprising," Izumi-sensei teased gently, trying to hide her concern.

"I'll be fine," I smiled. "Go enjoy your afternoon. Make Asahi work extra hard for me."

"Oh, I will," she promised, grinning savagely.

The three of them left, and I found myself growing bored. I had read and reread my book, and was desperately in need of something to do. I could only meditate for so long. Perhaps I could try to dig up that memory again. I wouldn't be interrupted for ages, I had plenty of time to try; not that I'd had much luck so far.

I sat up straight on top of the sheet, legs crossed. Breathing deeply, I began to meditate; if I was calm and centred, perhaps it would be easier to remember. I had been unconscious the last time the memory had surfaced after all.

My heart rate slowed, and my breathing grew softer. The darkness behind my closed lids began to fade, resolving into a familiar image. The room was dark and cold; an unpleasant smell hung in the air. I looked at the children around me, trying to identify anyone I might know. I recognised a younger Sai, sitting away from everyone else.

The door at the top of the stairs opened as it had the last time, again flooding the room with light, and causing most of the children to scurry towards the wall farthest from it. I went with them, scared of whatever it was that lay beyond that door.

"Numbers 3, 8, 7 and 14. Come with me."

Again, I walked forward with the other children that had been summoned. This time I noticed that Sai was also called. He was shaking slightly, but otherwise showed no signs of dear. I envied that, knowing that I looked absolutely petrified. We stumbled up the stairs, cold limbs not responding properly.

The girl in front of me tripped, and I grabbed her before she could fall, hoping that no one had noticed. She squeezed my hand in acknowledgement, and continued up the stairs. The closer we got to the top, the more the light began to burn my eyes, hiding what lay beyond the door. I strained forward, trying to get a look at the stranger waiting for us. He turned to face me, mask in place. I felt myself falling into the black holes where his eyes should be, screaming as everything went dark.

"Come to me," a voice called, distant and echoing. "Find me."

"Where are you?" a little girl shrieked, sobbing. With a jolt I realised the little girl was me.

"I'm right here," the voice said, sounding closer.

I ran through the darkness, hoping I was going in the right direction. Something moved in the shadows nearby, and I recoiled from it.

"Hurry," the voice called from somewhere just ahead. "Come this way."

I kept running, leaving the shadows and monster behind as I followed the voice. The darkness began to fade, and I opened my eyes to the purple realm of twilight. A stranger sat on the chair beside me, hand on my arm, smiling wearily.

"Welcome back," he sighed, leaning back in the chair. "You gave us quite a scare there, Miya."

"Who are you?" I asked, recognising the voice that had rescued me from the shadows.

"Shikaku Nara," was the quiet response, dark eyes watching me thoughtfully. "How are you feeling?"

"Fragile," I responded, grimacing.

"That's normal, I had to dig quite deep to pull you out. What were you doing?"

"There's something I need to remember. Something important. But I keep hitting a block," I sighed in frustration.

"That would be when the screaming started," Shikaku murmured, looking past me.

I turned, face blushing bright red when I saw the crowd gathered behind me. Several medic-nin had joined Kakashi and Tsunade in the room, watching me as if I was about to bite.

"I screamed again?" I mumbled, turning back to Shikaku.

He nodded gravely, eyes narrowing in thought. I wanted nothing more than to disappear; to have a pit open beneath me and swallow me whole.

"In the future, come to me when you want to try retrieving that memory again. You were lucky this time; I may not be able to pull you out next time you go in alone."

He stood and walked out, Tsunade joining him. Slowly the medic-nin filed out behind them, a couple glancing back at me sympathetically. Soon Kakashi was the only one left, standing by the window. Uncrossing my legs, I tried to stand, and stumbled. He caught me and put me back on the bed, and sat next to me.

"What were you thinking?" he asked, voice controlled.

"I just- It's important, I know it is. There were others," I mumbled, voice cracking slightly.

Kakashi held me as I cried, the weight of everything that had happened crashing down on me. All the fear that little girl had felt, that I had felt, in my memory made me feel so small and helpless. So many children went through what I did, and worse. The ones who had survived, did they also have that shadow lurking in their head?

All cried out, I quieted, shivering. Kakashi held me, stroking my hair and back as I slowly calmed down. Stars were scattered across the night sky by the time either of us moved again. I shifted on the bed, muscles stiff from sitting still for so long. Kakashi released me and I stood, pacing the room.

"Are you alright?"

"I'm frustrated," I sighed. "There's something important in that memory, I know there is. But I can't find it!"

"You will, but not alone. Shikaku is a good man, he can help you. Just don't try it on your own again; I almost lost you."

As that last comment registered, I turned back to face him.

"What are we?"

He stood and moved towards me. Holding my face in his hands, he tilted it up and leaned down to kiss me. I hadn't even seen him take off his mask.

"We're two broken people looking for the pieces we're missing," he murmured softly, wiping a stray tear from my cheek with his thumb. "Perhaps we can find them together."