Title: Secret Identity II

Author: Black Rainbow

Chapter: 12/12

Status: on-going, unedited

Genre: AU, yaoi

Archive: http://moonflower.tk, sdbc, fanfiction.net. if for some reason you want it, e-mail me. ^^

Disclaimer: me only own the original characters and story… Takehiko Inoue owns SD characters, Jahnna N. Malcolm band name, and songs.

Warnings: crossdressing. characters will probably be very OOC, as I don't really know a lot about them.

-__- Sorry about that.

Chapter Twelve

"Twenty, twenty, twenty four hours ago, I wanna be sedated," Hanamichi sang, playing the Ramones song on his guitar. His brother, who was checking (for the third time) the new equipment Mitsui ordered, winced.

"Hanamichi, can you please not sing right now?" Mitsui said loudly. He was lying on a couch, exhausted. Sendoh and Maki had got them a couple of 'last-minute' gigs in Ryonan before the tour.

"You don't want to lose the fan base you've established here," Sendoh told them.

Mitsui supposed that Sendoh may be right, but at the moment he was too tired to care. They just got back from Osaka a couple of hours ago and their next gig was to be in four hours. Mitsui was trying to nap, or read the latest issue of MOSH! that was in his hands, but Hanamichi was annoying him by purposely singing very loudly, and very out of tune, versions of Ramones songs.

"Are you saying that the Tensai can't sing?" Sakuragi demanded.

"Hanamichi, we're just really tired right now, and we have a gig in four hours, so why don't you get some rest, like what Hisashi is trying to do?" Fujima said quickly. Like Mitsui, he was sprawled on one of the couches, wishing that he had had as much sense as Rukawa, who went straight home to bed instead of to the club.

"Fine, fine," Sakuragi muttered, putting the guitar away. He yawned and stretched his arms, stopping midway as he suddenly remembered something. "Kenji, Akira said that Himiko left a note for you at his desk."

"Himiko? Why'd she leave me a note?" Fujima wondered out loud. He thought of picking it up later, but curiosity got him up and headed towards the office anyway.

When he reached the office, Sendoh was on the phone. He just looked up at Fujima and pointed towards a bright orange paper on his desk. Fujima picked it up, murmured a thank you, and left the office.

He looked at the orange paper, which had been folded in half. He opened it and started to read. It wasn't a long message.

Kenji!

Soichiro-kun came by the club this morning. He was looking for you.

Himiko

Fujima folded the paper, tucked it into his jeans, and quickly headed towards the nearest exit. He could hear his heart beating, drowning out every other sound. He couldn't think about anything but Jin. All the way to the station, the ride to Kainan, the walk to the café… he didn't notice a thing. All he saw was Jin's face. All he heard was his heart.

He ran up the stairs to Serendipity, and peered inside through the glass windows. He could see Jin, holding a tray of cakes, walking towards the counter. Just watching Jin gave Fujima a strange sensation; a pierce of joy and pain that went straight through him. /Soichiro…/

He walked into the café. Everything after that seemed to be in slow motion. Maybe it was the beating of his heart that made it seem so. But what happened was this: Jin looked up and the tray in his hands fell to the floor as he saw Fujima. Fujima went straight to Jin and held him in his arms, as if he would never let go. Jin wanted to push him away, to demand an explanation for Fujima's lies, to pick up the fallen things, to pull Fujima towards someplace more private. But he couldn't.

He was frozen.

He stood there with Fujima's arms around him, almost not comprehending what was happening. His heart pounded heavy beats. He just stood there, feeling Fujima's breath on him, hearing Fujima whisper softly, "I'm sorry."

And the spell was broken. Suddenly he stiffened, causing Fujima to pull back slightly. He gave Fujima a blank look. Fujima had hurt him, and he wasn't sure if he could trust Fujima again. "Sorry… that you lied to me?" he asked softly. "That's all you did, wasn't it? Everything was a lie; ever since we met, everything you told me was a lie. Do you really care about me, or was that a lie, too?"

Fujima shook his head. "No," he insisted. "Listen to me…"

"Listen to what? More lies?" Jin asked. He was on a roll now. Every minute he had spent agonizing about Fujima came back to him, fuelling his anger. The whole café was staring at the two by now, but he didn't notice. "I trusted you!" he told Fujima, his voice calm, belying what he felt inside. He pushed Fujima away. He opened his mouth to say something else, but he just left Fujima and went into the kitchen. He sat at a corner and buried his face in his arms.

Fujima didn't go after him.

Rukawa wasn't asleep. He had been staring at the ceiling for quite a while, and he wasn't asleep yet. He frowned slightly, and turned to his right. He couldn't sleep, and he didn't like the feeling one damn bit.

He pulled his arms up and looked at them for a long time. He used to cut himself, when he was a lot younger. Now he could see the scars, thin and white against his already pale skin. For a moment he entertained the idea of re-opening those old scars. He turned back to face the ceiling. "I just needed to forget," he whispered to it.

"You're the best thing that have happened to me," Toru had told him. And he knew that it was actually a pretty stupid line to say to someone you barely know, but Rukawa had felt like Toru was speaking the truth. And he wasn't sure how he felt about that. He couldn't see how he could be the best thing that happened in anybody's life. But Toru had said it, and Rukawa was sure that he wasn't telling lies. Recalling Hanagata's kiss, he drifted off to sleep.

That was when the phone rang.

His eyes snapped back open and he snatched the phone next to his bed. "What," he growled into it.

"Uh, Kitsune, you should be back at the club by now. We're playing in –" Not bothering to listen to the rest of Hanamichi's words, Rukawa slammed down the phone and grudgingly dragged himself out of bed.

Fujima entered the dressing room quietly, and let the door slam behind him. Mitsui looked up. "You look so morose," he commented.

"Fuck off," Fujima murmured in a low tone. He didn't feel like talking to anyone, especially Mitsui, whom to Fujima would always be the luckiest guy on earth, because he had Kiminobu.

Mitsui just raised his eyebrows. "Not your usual chipper self, huh?" He turned to continue putting on his make-up, while Fujima took a seat, took out his notebook, and started writing furiously.

Mitsui turned back towards Fujima. "What are you doing?"

Fujima didn't answer. He just wrote, while Mitsui watched curiously. After what seemed like forever, Fujima stopped, and threw the notebook at Mitsui. "New song," he said shortly. "I want us to play it tonight."

"Soichiro?" a soft voice called. Jin raised his face from his arms to look at his sister. "You okay?"

He just shrugged. "I guess."

"Maybe you should go see him in Ryonan again."

"Why?" He stared out the large café windows. "You were right. I shouldn't have trusted him."

"Maybe…" Rei started tentatively. "Maybe I was wrong. He looked like he really cared about you. Maybe you should just go see him one more time, and try to talk to him, or something."

He thought about it. "I don't think so."

"What?" his sister asked, her voice rising. "Why?"

Jin looked at her curiously. "You really want me to do this, don't you?"

Rei shrugged. "I want you to be happy."

He stared at her. After a few second passed, he just nodded. "Okay. I'll go."

Jin stood at the middle of the dance floor when the band started to play. The crowd pushed him forward, and he let himself surge closer to the band. He didn't dance. He just stood, and let the music wash over him. He had heard Androgynous Zone from the tape Himiko had given him, of course, but listening to them live was an entirely different experience. He could feel the music vibrating within him, in his blood, and his heart races along to the music.

The band had played a couple of songs from White Noise and a Smashing Pumpkins cover, when Kiminobu went onstage to set up stands for music sheets, whispering to Rukawa and Hanamichi. Jin, wondering what was going on, watched Hana walked up to Fujima. They seemed to be arguing, but they couldn't be heard over the crowd. Then Hana stomped away from Fujima and went back to where his microphone was set up. "Uh…" he started to say. The crowd quietened down a bit, as Hana continued. "The next song we're playing is really new. We haven't practiced it or anything yet, so bear with us, okay?" The audience just cheered him on. He shrugged, said in a low voice, "This is for Soichiro," – which made Jin look up at the band in surprise - and started to count in for the song.

Jin had expected Hana or Rukawa to sing, but it was Fujima who sang this time, with Hana backing him up.

I know I come to you only when in need

I'm not the most deserving…

Jin tried to remember every word. By the time the band hit the chorus, the crowd was moving and cheering wildly. The song was a bit different from the songs they usual play, with the kind of hook that stays in your mind for ages.

I've got this curse in my hands

I've got this curse in my hands

Everything I touch they decay

Turns to dust

Turns to sand [1]

Jin looked at Fujima again, and realized that Fujima had been staring at him. I love you, Fujima mouthed.

I love you, Jin wanted to say back, but he supposed that he had to wait until the show was over to tell Fujima.

Jin had to find Himiko to help him get backstage. He stared at the area, where Androgynous Zone were all slumped with exhaustion at one corner, and sound technicians of different bands were walking around, and a few others twiddling around with their instruments or chatting up some girls. He walked slowly towards where Androgynous Zone were, unsure of himself. When he reached them, they all looked up at him curiously. "Who are you?" Hana demanded.

Jin opened his mouth to speak, and closed it again. Fujima gave him an uncertain smile. "Soichiro," he murmured. He stood up, pulled Jin a couple of feet away from the rest of the band, before saying for the second time that day, "I'm sorry." Jin replied by covering Fujima's lips with his in a warm, none-too-hasty, kiss.

He hugged Fujima and whispered, "let's talk later," before straightening up and turning back to where Mitsui, Kiminobu, Hana, and Rukawa were sitting. "It was an incredible show," he told them sincerely. They realized that they've been staring and smiled at Jin (a little too widely) before murmuring a chorus of thanks.

"I'm sorry about fucking everything up," Fujima murmured hours later. The two of them were alone, leaning against the sofa at the balcony outside the studio. Both were feeling very awake, despite the fact that it was almost dawn.

"It's okay," Jin murmured back. They had spent the whole night talking. "You didn't, you know, fuck everything up. It's just that… I've never fallen in love before." And I didn't know what to do when I did.

"Neither have I." Fujima stared absently into space. "But I love you," he said wonderingly. I didn't know how it happened, but it did. "Hey, want to come along on the tour?"

"Come along?" Jin asked, surprised. "Is… is it okay?"

"Why not? I mean, Sendoh and Kiminobu gets to come along, why not you?"

"Kenji. Sendoh is your manager, and Kiminobu's your sound tech," Jin said with a smile.

"So what?" Fujima retorted. "Sendoh will let you come along," he said confidently. He turned slightly to look into the studio, where everyone was having their own little party. Hana was boasting about being the reason that night's gig was a success, although Sendoh was the only one actually listening to him. Mitsui was completely off his face, and Kiminobu was desperately trying to get him to sober up a bit. Pristine Smut's music was blasting on the speakers. Himiko was flirting with the drummer from Hanagata's band. Hanagata himself was sitting next to Rukawa, talking. The thought of the two of them getting together somehow made Fujima feel strangely happy. Of course, he knew that they technically weren't together yet, but it was just a matter of time, he figured. He turned back to look at Jin, who was looking at him, and smiled widely. I don't know how long all of this will last, he thought, remembering the conversation he had with Rukawa once [2]. The fame, the band… but I know that as long as we are all still friends, and I still have Soichiro… everything is all right.

owari

[1] song by Sleater-Kinney

[2] chapter 5…

This is it. The end, which is really crappy. Complete and utter crap. But I was thinking that if I don't end this now I would never end it, since my muse appears to have run away… Y__Y

CHAPTER 11 | FIC INDEX