November 15th, 1978
The Rehearsal Dinner
The room was filled with people that Petunia didn't know that were there to celebrate her relationship with Vernon. The only person not thrilled about the arrangement was Petunia herself. She was getting married tomorrow.
To the wrong person.
She fiddled with the bow on her hip that tied her dress together. Originally, she would just play with her hair nervously but Vernon stressed the need for her to have it in a bun. She couldn't believe that James and her sister had talked him into marrying her before the year was over. She wasn't sure how they did it or what they bribed him with but he came to his knees begging for Petunia to forgive him.
She had to. She had no choice in the matter.
She scanned the room for a familiar or friendly faces and she couldn't see any. Until she landed on a pair of familiar eyes with deep red hair.
Lily.
She had come. This brought an unwavering smile to her lips as she rushed over to greet her sister.
"Lily," she breathed, pulling her into a tight hug.
"You look beautiful," Lily whispered, returning the hug.
Petunia could feel her body relax into her sister's heavy embrace and the tears started to brim her eyes for the hundredth time that afternoon. She didn't want to do this. She couldn't do this. All of these people were here for a relationship that wasn't real. They all expected more out of her than what she actually had. It was painful. She stifled a sob and broke the hug with Lily. Lily pulled her into the closest bathroom and peered around to make sure no one was listening and locked the door. Petunia wept. She had been weeping for months. Her eyes were always red rimmed and her irises were vibrant against the tears that covered them. She felt caged.
Her hair had to be put up the way Vernon liked it and her clothes had to be conservative like he preferred. Even her wedding dress had to cover everything. That ruined any chance of wearing the dress she imagined she would wear when marrying Sirius. Just the thought of him brought a fresh wave of tears.
"Oh Tuney," Lily whispered, pushing a stray piece of hair behind Petunia's ear.
She inhaled a shaky breath and looked at herself in the mirror. She was completely disheveled.
"How can I do this?" Petunia asked through her watery gaze.
Lily didn't have an answer but she looked just as miserable as her sister.
"How can I put on that dress tomorrow and marry someone I don't love, Lily?" She asked again, sobbing.
"I don't know, Tuney."
"Vernon made it clear that he didn't want you or James around after we get married. He's going to force you out of my life! I can't handle this!"
Petunia slid to the floor in angst and brought her knees up to her chest. She wondered quietly when everything got so complicated. If this is what magic did then she didn't want it. She wished she had never had it. She had spent years wishing to be like her sister and she wished now, more than ever, to take that back. If she could get rid of it then maybe she could be with Sirius instead of sulking on the bathroom floor at her rehearsal dinner.
"It was the arrangement we made. If James and I aren't around then you're much safer," Lily cooed.
"I'd rather be in danger," she whispered.
The bathroom grew quiet except for the random sniffles that echoed through the walls. She could hear the sound of people laughing and chattering at a party that she had no interest in being a part of. She smoothed the skirt of her dress and took a deep breath.
"I better get back to the party. Try to stay away from the cream puffs. His aunt, Janice, forgot the sugar," she warned, using the wall to help her stand.
"Actually, there's something I have to tell you," Lily said quickly and nervously.
"What?" Petunia asked, wiping the stray tears from her cheeks.
"He's here," she started.
Petunia's heart leapt into her throat and her stomach lurched as if nausea had taken over. She wanted to see him, desperately, but here? Now?
"Where?" Petunia whispered.
"Out by the edge of the woods. He's on his motorcycle. I can stall Vernon for a little bit if you want to see him," Lily offered.
Petunia shook her head and listened as the laughs grew louder and the clinking of the wine goblets echoed through the hall. She wanted to see him. She desperately wanted to see him. She was just worried about what would happen if she did.
"What would you do?" Petunia whispered to Lily.
"I'd go see him," she said with a warm smile.
-XOX-
Petunia stumbled over the sticks and leaves that had fallen for the Fall. Her small heels were sinking into the ground with every step. She couldn't see him yet and she was beginning to wonder if she had taken to long. She nearly fell when her heel collided with an above ground root and grabbed hold of a limb that snapped as she started to fall forward. Until she was caught by a pair of strong arms who instinctively pulled her to him. She looked up through her mess of curls that had fallen on the trek and saw him. His face was about as distressed as she felt.
"There you are," she whispered, allowing herself to be pulled into the stronghold.
She nestled her head under his chin as she listened to his rigid breathing. He hadn't said anything yet but she didn't care. This was enough for her. His arms never let her go and she carelessly thumbed the zipper on his leather jacket.
"You got a motorcycle?" Petunia asked, eyeing the sleek black machinery behind his shoulder.
"Yeah. I've always wanted one," he muttered into her hair as he took a deep breath.
"I've never ridden on one," Petunia said thoughtfully, pulling away from the hug gently so she could get a better look.
"It's not just an ordinary motorcycle," he told her, watching her trace her fingers over the base.
"It never would be with you. What does it do?" She asked.
"It flies," he murmured.
"I'm not surprised," she laughed.
Her first real laugh since June. She didn't know how she made it to November like she had. Her smiles felt foreign to her now that they had been replaced by scowls and tears. Her heart was broken and it would remain that way. She envisioned getting on the back of his motorcycle and running away with him but that would be too dangerous. Maybe that's what she preferred. A little danger.
"Want a ride?" He asked cautiously.
"Sirius…" she said softly.
"It'll be quick," he reasoned.
"I really don't think it's a good idea," she sighed heavily, her feelings beginning to spiral.
"Which part?"
"The entire arrangement. This whole thing is just so…" she trailed off, not wanting to fight.
She was too happy to see him to be able to fight with him. That's not the memory she wanted. She rather enjoyed the memory of their last night replaying over and over again in her head.
"I know," he said softly.
There was a sad edge to his voice that broke her heart in other ways.
"I don't want to argue," Petunia confessed while Sirius got closer to her.
She regretted having wandered away from him. She wanted to be in his arms more than anything in that moment with his warm and familiar scent. She wanted to drown in it.
"That's not why I'm here," he interrupted.
"Then why?" She asked, irritated.
She wasn't meaning to sound irritated. She was more irritated at the party and everything going on rather than at him.
"Marry me,"
It wasn't a plea, an order, or a command. It was simple. It was sweet. It was raw. It made Petunia's heart ache. The way he propped up against his motorcycle with the wind in his hair and his leather jacket hugging his brooding frame was making it hard for Petunia to think rationally. She wanted to. Oh boy, did she want to. There was a slight warning in her mind that plagued her. The warning that it wasn't a good idea. That it completely goes against everything they've worked for to provide safety for everyone involved. She was warned that she was signing her own death warrant if she were to marry him.
"I can't," she whispered sadly.
"I know," he shook his head as if mentally hitting himself for the thought.
"Sirius," she started.
"No, I know. It was stupid. I just...I really want it to be you and I, Petunia. I want it more than anything in world and to think I can't have you because some dark wizard is drunk off of power. This should be us," he said, motioning back towards the cottage where all her future relatives were waiting for her.
"You're right, it should. However, it's not. It can't be," she said softly and as warmly as she could.
"Yeah," he whispered.
He was thinking. He was hurt. He was broken. Just like her. I'm a swift movement he straddled his new machine and revved up the engine. It created a deep purr through the trees and a dagger in Petunia's heart. She hated thinking that their life was compiled of Elton John and heartbreaking goodbyes.
"Would you come tomorrow?" Petunia asked, knowing the answer.
He revved the engine again as he thought and looked at her once more. Those eyes bore into her soul. Something she never thought she'd experience.
"Maybe," he shouted over the engine.
With that, he was gone. He left behind a trail of dust and tears as the motorcycle rose over the sea of trees. Petunia just stared up into the sky and noticed how cloudy it was starting to get. The sun was setting and she needed to get back to the party.
-XOX-
November 15th, 1978
Petunia's Packed Up Flat
The party was finally over. Vernon walked Petunia up to her flat door and watched as she sauntered into the living room. She fell backwards on her couch in exhaustion and peeled off her heels before letting her blonde hair fall down in ringlets. She sighed heavily and removed the cardigan that covered her pink dress.
"I know you don't like my hair down but it hurts to leave it up," she said sadly, massaging the right side of her scalp.
"I never said I didn't like it," Vernon answered quickly.
"Yes you did. We were at Marco's and you told me you preferred it when my hair was in a bun," Petunia corrected.
"Right. I said I preferred it but it didn't matter how you wore your hair. You looked good no matter what," he said thoughtfully.
This caused Petunia to look up at him with eyes widened. He had never said anything like that before. Especially not to her. She pushed her own hair behind her ears nervously and cleared her throat.
"Thanks, I guess," she said, moving the magazines around on her coffee table to keep her hands busy.
"We need to talk," he said quietly as he came over to sit next to her on the couch.
He moved aside a stray moving box with his foot and took Petunia's hand in his own. She didn't pull away but it wasn't comfortable. She wished it was Sirius holding her hand. Then it would feel right. It wouldn't feel like this. It wouldn't feel wrong. However, Vernon was going to be her husband at two in the afternoon tomorrow. Her heart sank at the realization but she masked it well.
"I know what you must think of me," he started.
A thousand sarcastic quips rose up in her head but she couldn't express them. She let them die quietly in the back of her mind while she sat there.
"I don't think you do," she said quietly.
He ignored her.
"I was insanely jealous the day I saw you on your balcony. I said a lot of things, hurtful things, but I never meant any of them. I was so angry that I wasn't watching where my hands were swinging. I just-" he stopped himself.
He took a deep breath before continuing.
"I just liked you so much that I didn't think. I'm willing to look past your magical ability and flaws. I like you in spite of them. I could grow to love you. I hope you could grow to love me too," he ended.
She blinked. She knew this marriage was being forced on both ends. His parents were pressuring him to be married and she had no choice but to change her last name.
"This situation is so messed up," she whispered, shaking her head to fight the stinging of her tears.
"I know," he agreed, patting her hand gently.
"We can do this, you know," she offered.
She wanted it to be Sirius. She desperately wanted it to be him. However, the truth was simple. It wasn't going to happen. Not in the lifetime. Not ever.
"I'm not saying you'll love me as much as you love him," Vernon started, noticing the change in her demeanor.
"I don't think I could with any man," she whispered.
"But we'll be good companions. We can be really good friends. I promise you," he said, tightening his hold on hand.
It was almost as if he was talking himself into the situation.
"I'll see you tomorrow," he said quickly.
Slowly, almost unbearably slowly, he placed a tentative kiss on her forehead. It was sweet. It held no other meaning than a kind agreement. A promise to be friends. Married friends. Friends with messed up situations. The only way out of their problems was to be married.
So they would.
