Authors Notes: Chapter 12 is here!

Thanks for the wait, I know it's been killing everyone hehe. I love this chapter for many many MANY reasons and I hope you guys do as well.

Most chapters after this one will have mature themes of sorts along the way of either language or situations - please be advised!

0o0o0

Mara and Miyuki are not part of the Senshi Universe but instead characters created by me for this story. I hope you grow to love them like I have.

Suki and Keichi are not part of the Senshi Universe but also characters created by me for this story. I don't like them so neither should you :P

0o0o0

First and foremost I do not own any Sailor Moon character in this Fanfic. The only thing I can lay claim to are any/all characters that I have made up (which will be indicated in the chapters to come).

This Fic was written a few years ago (as you will notice with MOST of my fics) and I had just wanted a good Ami x Makoto story that wasn't 'oh hi, I like you we should do it' in three sentences. I wanted a bit more substance. As it stands this story isn't finished, not yet, but it will be because I can't just leave two of my favorite characters hanging like that!

Things to take note about reading this fic: I like their original Japanese names, some Japanese words are used, I have/will be putting my own personal spin on the Senshi Powers they have (as in, just how MUCH they can do), this is a YURI fic so be prepared for what that will entail, I will be having a few of our beloved Senshi breaking out of their safe zones, and finally - I just love Love.


Ami watched as Makoto lead her into the bathroom of the huge house and turn on the water to the shower, filling the room with steam after a few moments. There was anticipation in the air to the point where it was beginning to drive Ami insane. She didn't care about what had happen in Makoto's past; it wasn't the woman she was now. Makoto had changed, had grown, and that's all that mattered to Ami. They would work through things together as they came, she would deal with things that needed to be dealt with when they needed to, that's how she worked.

Makoto felt that the water was at an appropriate temperature for Ami and set her mind to doing what she had wanted…Ami. No words were spoken as Makoto walked to Ami, taking her hand to lead her closer to the shower. Fear began to take a hold of Makoto as she began to wonder if she could even go through with what she wanted, what her soul needed. She wanted Ami so bad, wanted to touch and taste her until she became drunk, she wanted the girl in front of her so bad it hurt. She wanted to believe with all that she was that she could control the horrible monster within her, but that confidence she held was gone.

Ami could see Makoto struggling with her thoughts and decided to help her a little. She pulled off her swimsuit and stepped into the shower.

"Are you coming?" a voice from the steam asked.

Makoto just blinked. Coming to her senses she removed her hair from its braid and her swimsuit. Ami watched as Makoto stepped into the shower, gasping at what she saw. Makoto's body was beautiful and she was overwhelmed by the raw power Makoto radiated by just standing there. Slowly Ami pulled Makoto under the showers spray with her, noticing that green eyes never left her blue ones.

Without even thinking twice Makoto reached for the shampoo, preparing to wash Ami's hair if she wanted it. She moved behind the smaller girl and began lathering up her hair, running her fingers through it as she massaged her scalp thoroughly.

Ami purred with delight at the treatment her hair and scalp were receiving. Once she felt Makoto's hands leave her hair, she moved under the water to rinse. As Ami was rinsing out her hair, Makoto took the time to wash her own hair, her back towards the smaller girl. Ami watched with interest as Makoto washed her rather long hair. As large bubbles moved their way down Makoto's back and continuing their descent further, Ami found herself unable to not watch where those bubbles would end up. Her throb once more sprang to life as bubbles moved themselves over Makoto's lower back and backside, moving even further to run down her thighs and calves.

"Are you getting warm yet, Ami?" Makoto asked as she turned around to step under the water.

"D...d…dizzyingly so…" she stammered as Makoto's breasts were now uncovered compared to her hair being over them when she came into the shower.

"Oh, is the water too hot? I had thought I picked a good temperature."

Makoto felt the water and frowned; it wasn't really all that hot, compared to how she liked it but rinsed her hair out anyway. Ami was glued to the sight of Makoto once again, watching as Makoto's head was back and water running down in rivulets over and between her breasts. Makoto's nipples where hard as the hot water ran over them and as Ami let her eyes travel farther down the front of Makoto's body, she nearly dropped the soap she was washing her body with.

"…shaved…"

"What was that?" Makoto asked unsure of what Ami had said.

"Um…nothing…I wasn't looking at you! I mean…I saw that you were…that you didn't have…" she stuttered back horribly, turning herself around as to not further embarrass herself.

Makoto frown with confusion for a moment only to smile as realization dawned on her.

So, Ami was checking me out?

Especially down there, huh?

A soft giggle came from Makoto as she reached around Ami to steal the soap, her breasts pressing against her back. Both girls froze at the contact of one another and it was Makoto that gained control of her senses first. While Makoto washed her body to keep her thoughts as clean as they could be, Ami rinsed off her body and stepped out of the shower to dry off. She could still feel the way Makoto's breasts felt against her back and she longed to feel it again. Makoto stepped out of the shower next, realizing that her plans for the shower hadn't really gone as planned. A sigh of disappointment left her lips as she dried herself off.

I'll just have to make everything else better.

Ami started brushing her teeth when she heard the strangest noise.

"…ako….ou….ere?"

She listened harder and heard it again.

"…Mako….ou…there!

Makoto's ears perked up as she heard the same thing Ami had. Confusion crossed her face until she realized where the noise was coming from.

"Ami! Where's your communicator!"

"On the chair with my dress…" she began to say as Makoto ran off.

"Damnit Mako! I know you're there answer me!" Miyuki screamed into the communicator she held.

"Yuki, what's wrong?" she asked breathless and naked.

"Mara! Her seizures, she's having one and I don't have her pills!" Tears poured down her face.

"Where are you and where are they?" Makoto asked, knowing that they only had a certain amount of time.

"Along the beach, we took a stroll, and they are in the bathroom mirror."

"Got it!" Ami said, rushing to the communicator to show her the pills.

"GET HERE! There isn't much time!"

Both girls raced to the truck, Makoto dressing along the way, and driving along the sand to where Ami's communicator was picking up the signals of Makoto's communicator.

"Why does she have your comm.?"

"I told her that I wouldn't answer the phone if she called, that I would always answer the communicator. So I gave it to her and with how Mara is, I thought it would be good to give it to her if they were going to be so far away from the city like they are if something happened."

"I didn't know Mara had seizures like that."

"It's kind of scary but there is something I'm going to need you to do because Miyuki will be no help."

"What do you need me to do?" Ami asked, resolved that she would do anything for her new friend.

Just as Makoto was about to explain they came up on the other girls.

"No time to explain; just do what I tell you to do because we don't have much time." Makoto said as she threw the car into park and ran to her cousins with Ami close behind.

When Ami got there, she was not prepared for the sight she saw. Mara twisting and turning on the sand, her eyes rolling to the back of her head, and saliva flying as screams of agony came from her mouth. Ami physically recoiled at the sight of her friend.

Makoto quickly ran to Mara, the routine already mapped out in her head, knowing they only had a handful minutes to save her. She placed her body over the twisting woman and sat down on her, knees on her arms and hands holding her head in place for her mouth to receive the pills.

"Ami, I need the pills."

"Ami…PILLS!" Makoto said with force.

When nothing happened she looked to her love to see what the hell she could be doing, only to see her frozen looking at Mara. Makoto didn't have time for this, Mara didn't either, and she prayed her love would forgive her later for the nasty shock she was going to get.

Ami snapped out of her trance when she felt a painful zap on her leg and looked at Makoto.

"PILLS!" she yelled.

Ami ran to them and opened the pills as fast as she could, embarrassed that in a time of need she had done nothing but stood there.

"I need you to make me some ice so I can melt it into her mouth for her to swallow these."

"I can do you one better." She said as she made a ball of water appear before them.

"Put some of that in her mouth as I hold it open."

Doing as she was told she watched as Makoto tossed in the pills and clamped her hand over Mara's mouth to make her swallow them, the woman's legs kicking themselves wildly in the process.

"Come on Mara, swallow the damn pills! You can't leave Miyuki here alone. Please swallow!" Makoto hissed as one of Mara's knees embedded itself into her back.

"Ami, sit on her legs."

Ami tried as best she could to get the woman's legs under control but she couldn't and did the next best thing. She froze them together and went to stand next to an in shambles Miyuki.

Makoto could see Mara wasn't taking the pills and cursed, knowing time was not on their side.

"I'm sorry Mara, I have to do this…I thought I'd never have to again…"

Makoto jumped off of Mara and demanded her powers to bend to her will as she made an electric grid to bind Mara up in the air. Mara's shaking had ceased but her head thrashed about until Makoto used her powers to get it under control. Once again, Makoto called forth her powers to her will, pushing herself to the next level.

Ami watched as Makoto ignited with electric power, her eyes sparking and glowing as she roared at Mara. Ami began to run to Makoto, not understanding what was going on, but Miyuki held her back, tears streaming down her eyes.

"Iie, Ami-chan, she's the only one who can help Mara now."

"But I don't understand…"

"Mara's body is contracting so much that she can't swallow the pills. Makoto is using her powers to electrically control her throat and stomach muscles for her to swallow the pills and saver her life. It's a very painful process for both of them."

Ami looked back at her love, rays of light shining from her eyes as they concentrated on Mara's neck. Ami watched, seeing nothing happening to Mara but when she turned to Makoto she saw her neck muscles moving in twisted movements, roaring in pain but never breaking her eye contact with Mara.

"What is she doing to herself! Let me go to her!" Ami cried, pulling against Miyuki.

"You can't, she has to do this. She doesn't know how to help Mara if she doesn't make herself feel the spasms of the neck muscles, how would she know when to shock them? By giving herself Mara's pain, she's able to save her."

Tears came to Ami's eyes, as she couldn't believe what her love was doing to herself and what she was doing to save her friend. She closed her eyes to the screams Makoto was emitting only opening when suddenly the screams stopped. Each of the girls ran to their loves to check on the damage.

"Mako, Mako, Mako, Mako…" Ami uttered a million times as she cradled her exhausted love in her lap.

"…Mara…" she croaked out hoarsely.

"Her pills kicked in, just in time. She just needs sleep, thank you Mako, you saved her." Miyuki cried as she thanked her cousin.

A smile crossed Makoto's face as she murmured softly words that Ami could barely hear and pass out.

0o0o0

Miyuki sat next to the bed that held her love, worrying endlessly even though she knew her love was okay. Tears once again filled her eyes as she began replaying the night earlier in her head. She was so lost in thought that she didn't hear Ami come into the spare bedroom of the beach house.

"Miyuki-chan…" she said as she offered the worn out woman a cup of tea.

"Ami-chan! I didn't hear you come in, thank you." She downed the tea in one gulp and wiped the tears from her face.

There was silence between them for a few moments, each woman consumed with their thoughts.

"How's Mako?"

"She's sleeping and her neck is horribly bruised, but she should be fine in the morning. Senshi healing has its perks I guess."

"Ami-chan, I am so sorry about your birthday, we've ruined it." Green eyes looking to blue ones for forgiveness.

"Iie, don't worry about it. I've never really been fond of birthdays and celebrations to be honest with you, so it's all right. I'm just glad that we were close enough to help Mara-chan tonight."

A sigh escaped Miyuki as she turned to look at the sleeping Mara.

"I can remember when we had first met, she was so wonderful, and the most perfect being I had ever known. She would tell me about her life and it sounded just as I found her, but she never mentioned anything about her seizures. I didn't even know about them until we had talked about living together and even then, it was difficult. I had suggested that she move in with me and she had hesitated in her response. It's not like Mara to hesitate on anything unless she's scared or hiding something. I knew Mara wasn't scared about us, that's just not her, so I knew there was something she wasn't telling me. When I asked her about it, she got upset so I knew something was really wrong." She picked up her lovers hand to caress it.

"A few days later Mako came over to my house while Mara was over, we were going to have a huge dinner. Mara was helping bring the dishes to Makoto to wash when I heard dishes shatter. I ran to the kitchen to see what had happened only to find the woman I loved having a massive seizure in the middle of shattered plates. Thank god Mako was smart enough to figure out what was happening because I was too scared to think. I just remember Mako making me get her purse, to look for pills or injections or anything medical. We had found some pills but we couldn't get her to swallow them." A horrible laugh coming Miyuki made Ami frown slightly.

"I was so hysterical that Mako had to slap me to even help her save Mara. I had never realized just how much this silly woman meant to me until I saw her like how you saw her tonight. Once we figured out she couldn't swallow the pills, Makoto did what she did tonight for Mara. It's the only thing that saved her when she's having a horrible attack. When we got her under control and in bed, it dawned on me then and there that that was the reason Mara had hesitated on moving in with me. It wasn't until after she woke up that I learned she was ashamed of herself, that she thought she was weak because she could overcome anything life gave her but that." Tears fell from Miyuki's eyes again as she kissed Mara's hand.

Ami silently took in what Miyuki had shared with her, realizing the parallels Makoto and herself had with Miyuki and Mara.

"I hope you don't mind me asking you something, but…"

"About the incident?"

Ami blinked, surprised, but nodded.

"I take it then she told you about it. Good, Mara and I were wondering if we should have said anything, but you know."

"You could say that she told me. It was like you with Mara, I just found out."

"It was nothing serious, Miyuki-chan." She responded to the fearful look the other woman gave her.

"What is there to tell? I know she didn't mean to do it and it was my fault anyway. I let a crush get the better of me and she couldn't help herself either. I've never hated her for it or held it against her."

"How did she not lose herself the second time you two, you know." She blushed.

"She was in control but after I had an orgasm she had to leave immediately. She was getting too aroused."

"So that means we can never make love?" Ami asked her heart breaking.

"…Iie…you…can….just…" Mara croaked from the bed.

"Mara! Just rest, please…"

"…Iie…listen Ami-chan…I know the…secret of her…powers…" blue eyes connected with blue eyes.

"…She's complete in everyway…but emotionally…even though she loves…Miyuki…they aren't soul mates…" She coughed violently until Miyuki gave her water.

"You…you are her other half…you are what…can make her whole…"

"How? I don't understand."

"Mako's body reacted…violently to Miyuki's physical love…because it was not the right one…she wasn't the right person…so Makoto's carnal power tried to save her heart…it 'took' what her body wanted…but closed off her heart…so it wouldn't break…"

"But then how…"

"She was in control of the situation…she had it in her mind to make amends…to what her power did to Miyuki…there was no romantic love involved in Mako's heart…just shame and pain…that's how…but her body began to be aroused…she left to cool herself down…"

"Tonight, she reacted to my touch. When she looked at me, those weren't the eyes I fell in love with."

"Her body is reacting to you…to someone touching her…once her power realizes it's you…things will be fine…" she sighed, closing her eyes feeling exhausted.

Ami bid the two goodnight as she walked back to the room her and Makoto were sharing, taking in the new information she had received. She checked to see if Makoto was okay before she went outside to think about everything she had been told. Just as she sat down on the sand, her cell phone rang.

"Ami-chan!" two voices sang out to her over the phone.

"Mina-chan? Rei-chan? What are you two doing?" she asked surprised, trying to figure out why they would be together.

"Happy birthday first, silly." Minako said with a smile.

"Thank you."

"I'm in London with Mina."

"I thought you had shrine duties to perform at your sister shine?" Ami asked confused.

"I did but…"

"But she couldn't resist the beck and call of the Goddess of Love and Beauty." Mina laughed.

"Congratulations you two! I am very happy and I must say, FINALLY!" Ami beamed at her friends.

"Rei's blushing Ami-chan, it's kind of cute. I can see why Makoto-chan always melted at yours."

It was now Ami's turn to blush.

"Yes, congrats you two to as well! Usagi-chan can't keep anything to herself. She said the minute she got off the phone with you she called me." Rei said.

"So does she know about you two?"

"Hai. She wants us to come home when she does in a few weeks so we all can triple date." Minako giggled.

"That sounds like it would be nice, I'm sure Makoto wouldn't mind." The mention of her love's name brining a pang to her heart.

"Whoa! You can't hide that from me, Ms. Mizuno! Don't tell me things aren't well between you two." The Goddess of Love asked, looking to her love with worry.

"Iie, everything's fine."

Minako frowned as she looked at the speakerphone and Rei did as well. They knew that if Ami wanted to tell them something, she would.

"All right then, we'll let you get back to your birthday celebrations. Sorry to have called so late, I realize that eleven at night is early for you, but late for Makoto-chan."

"Iie, it's okay. I'll tell Makoto you called and the good news as well. I'm sure she will look forward to seeing both of you and maybe going out with Usagi-chan."

"Okay, Ami-chan. Then we'll see you in a few days!"

"Hai, ja ne."

"Ja."

Ami hung up the phone with a smile on her face; she was glad that both her friends had found each other. It made her think about her and Makoto, how so much had happened with them over the short beginning weeks of summer. She had met two wonderful people and she had begun to experience love, something that hoped never had to stop.

But, everything that had happened that night was beginning to take its toll on the blue haired girl's brain. She loved Makoto more than live itself; she had come to realize that when she saw Makoto in Mara's agonizing pain but a part of her was now afraid, she couldn't deny that. She was afraid of…

What if I'm not Makoto's soul mate?

What if we go to make love and what happened to Miyuki happens to me?

A shudder of fear went through her body as she hugged her knees to herself. More thoughts ran through her head until she shook it violently.

No, I have to trust Makoto.

I have to show her my love and support.

I love her, no matter what; no matter who she is…I love her.

She got up from the sand, only to be knocked back down as she banged into someone.

"Sorry, Ami-chan, I thought you saw me."

"Miyuki-chan, gomen, I wasn't watching where I was going." She dusted herself off as Miyuki helped her up.

"What are you doing out here? I thought you'd be with Makoto?"

Ami blushed with embarrassment; she should be with Makoto, but…

"It's fine Ami-chan, everyone needs time to think and I believe you're doing the right thing by not letting your thoughts fester by themselves."

There was silence between the two women as they watched the moonlight dance across the water. The sound of the waves calmed Ami's heart much in the same way it did with Sailor Neptune, but not quite on that grand a scale. She looked over at Miyuki, noticing that for not being first cousins they really looked alike. Instantly Ami could tell the differences between the two faces of the women she came to care for deeply about. Noticing that while Miyuki had a 'cute' feature about her, Makoto radiated a more elegant beauty.

"It's very easy to know when you're thinking about my darling cousin." Green eyes sparkled to blue ones.

"How did you know?"

"You get a dreamy look and you glow."

"Glow?"

Miyuki pointed to the girl's forehead, her sigil glowing brightly. Ami's eyes opened wide as she looked in the reflection of the water to see it shining brightly.

"It never does that. This is only the third or fourth time I've ever seen it glow." She touched the mark gently, it instantly making her heart physically hurt for Makoto.

"I would assume it was a good thing that it's glowing? Of course, the few times I've seen Makoto's glow, it's been bad." She laughed softly.

"I would guess so. I'd have to ask Haruka-chan and Michiru-chan about it because I'm not one hundred percent sure." Ami continued to look at her symbol with awe, the ache still ever present.

"But, why are you out here, Miyuki-chan? Shouldn't you be with Mara-chan?" the blue haired girl turned to look at her friend.

"I thought maybe you could use a listening ear." She replied.

Tears came to Ami's eyes as she quickly poured out her thoughts to the woman before her.

0o0o0

Makoto groaned as she sat up in bed, looking around the room to get her bearings.

I'm in the guest room of the main beach house…

A wave hit Makoto full force as she realized Ami's birthday had been destroyed, the wonderful night she had planned had been totally, utterly destroyed. A groan tried to escape her throat but she grabbed it in a fierce pain, falling back on the bed as blood gurgled from her mouth.

Great, I really did a number on myself this time…

Ami will be pissed off…

Makoto spit the rest of the blood from her mouth on her shirt, weakly making her way to the main bedroom where she knew someone had to be. A light faintly shown from the room as Makoto quietly entered it, seeing Mara reading. Something caught the blue haired girls eye and she looked up from her book.

"You're covered in blood! What happened?"

Makoto went to talk, only to once again cause that searing pain in her throat, a fresh blood trail from her mouth the only response given to Mara. Mara wobbled her way out of bed to tend to Makoto.

"You took too much this time, Mako. You shouldn't have taken the pain and outcome of what happened." Mara frowned as she began to clean up the girl.

Makoto just shook her head, pointing to her eye, her heart and then to Mara.

"I love you too, baka, but still. Senshi healing or not, you shouldn't have done it!" anger lacing Mara's words as tears came to her eyes.

Makoto didn't know what to say, not like she could really talk as it was. She had never seen Mara this upset in awhile. Gently she took the older woman's hand in her own, palm up, and began writing.

"But I had to save you, Miyuki couldn't and I couldn't let you die. What would happen to all of us, especially Yuki, if you did? You've forgiven me for so many wrongs I've done to my cousin, I could gladly bear any pain I can take from you." Makoto wrote.

"Makoto…"

Mara fiercely hugged the only other person she could ever love as much as she loved Miyuki to her.

"But what about Ami? What if something had happened to you, what about her? You can't leave her either, she needs you just as much as you need her."

"Ami…I don't know what to say. I've ruined everything between us I think. Think of all the things I've sprung on her by just loving her? Her friend hit her, I nearly killed her at the hot springs, I could possibly do to her as I did to Yuki, saving you like I did, and just the whole damn Jupiter power!"

"But that's not true, Makoto, she loves you. So you two are learning more about one another and are going through a rocky period, it doesn't mean that she doesn't love you or want to be with you. All she needs is time to understand and think about all the things she's learned, as do you. Don't give up on her; she's a wonderful girl.

"She is, I just wish I could show her for once without something going wrong. I wish for just that perfect moment, where no one breaks down my door, no one to shoot at me, nothing. Just a day to show her that a life with me is something worthwhile, is that wrong for me to feel?" Makoto wrote on the woman's palm with tears.

"Iie, Mako, iie. That's everyone's feeling from time to time. Tomorrow is a new day, a fresh start. From the moment she wakes up to the moment she goes to sleep, shower her with your love and devotion. Forget your fears and trust in yourself as well as the woman you love." Tears fell from Mara's eyes as she thought about Miyuki.

Makoto gently wiped her tears from her face, a soft smile on her face.

"I want to thank you, Mako."

"For what? You're the one giving me all the advice."

"I've never really thanked you for either of the times you've saved me from…my weakness."

"You don't have to thank me for that, I told you, I'd take any pain you have." She coughed, hissing deeply and spitting blood into the toilet of the bathroom that they have slowly moved into.

Tears fell from Mara's cheeks as she shook her head, holding Makoto's hand tightly.

"Please, Makoto let me thank you. You don't understand what has happened in my heart, how nearly dying again has made me come alive and realize things in my life. If it hadn't been for you…"

Makoto pulled her cousin tightly to her, gently rocking and rubbing her back to calm her down, writing on her back that it was okay. She could feel Mara's tears soak her shirt; her own heart aching that she couldn't make a person she cared for feel all right. For the longest time she let Mara cry, letting her system purge itself of all that burdened her. After a while Mara moved off of Makoto and wiped her eyes.

"Thank you, I needed that. I've been so worried about you and Ami, about this last seizure, and finally Miyuki."

"What's wrong with Miyuki?"

"It seems that I'm still too cold after all of these years. That I haven't totally mastered emotional expression as I should."

A frown crossed Makoto's face as they continued to talk and sometimes cry. It wasn't until they heard someone enter the bedroom did they stop talking.

"Mara? You okay?" Miyuki called, seeing Mara not in their bed.

"Miyuki-chan, there is blood on the floor!" Ami pointed to the few drops that stained the carpet.

"Mara!" Miyuki called, panic coursing through her body as her and Ami ran to the bathroom.

Mara and Makoto looked up from the sitting positions on the floor of the bathroom to the two concerned women in the door.

"Makoto…there's blood all over you…" Ami breathed.

Forgetting for a moment that she was unable to talk, she tried to reassure her love that she didn't have to worry, but started to cough up so much blood that she had to use the toilet to hold it all.

"Mako!"

Ami couldn't believe the blood she saw Makoto throw up and went to gently hold her. She looked to Mara for an explanation.

"She's shredded her throat on the inside by helping me. She can't talk." Mara whispered having to turn her eyes from the look Ami had on her face.

Moving from out of the bathroom, Mara and Miyuki left Ami and Makoto alone, shutting the door for them to have privacy.

"Is what she said true?" Ami asked.

Still retching, Makoto wrote on Ami's leg that it was true but that she would be fine in the morning. Ami just leaned up against the wall of the bathroom, so many emotions running through her. Makoto heard Ami sigh as she flushed the toilet; wiping her mouth she looked at her. Ami's eyes were closed as tears rolled down her face. Makoto gently wrote on her leg.

"Are you angry with me?"

Ami sat there for the longest time before she stood up with her back to Makoto. This scared Makoto as she shakily stood up as well to ask her question again.

"…yes…"

Makoto was taken aback by that simple yes that she took a step back. She went to touch Ami, her arm out stretched, but she dropped it to her side as her heart broke. Ami had never been mad at her before, in fact anger was an emotion that was very rarely ever an expression Ami showed and to have it now directed at her for the second time that night, Makoto found it unfathomable.

"I am so angry and hurt I don't know what to do or say. I thought you and I were best friends, that we could tell each other anything, that we trusted each other enough. You didn't tell me about your powers, about Miyuki-chan, about anything! It's like you lead two different lives."

Makoto could do nothing but stare at the back of Ami, watching the mirror she was standing next to become covered in frost as the girl shook slightly.

"What am I suppose to feel about making love to you? What if that happens to me? I'm not as strong as Miyuki-chan I don't think I could just bounce back from it. It's all I've thought about since you told me and, Makoto, I'm scared." She turned around to look at Makoto.

Makoto just stood there broken and ashamed, tears falling from her eyes as blood dripped from her chin as she silently cried. Ami was right with everything she said, how could she be with someone who lived one life with certain people and another with others? How could she be with someone who was…

A monster...

Ami didn't know why suddenly she was angry with Makoto, she told herself she would be strong and that everything would be okay. As she watched Makoto cry, she knew her anger was hurting the one she loved, but…

"Mako, I'm sorry, I didn't mean yell. I just feel so lost, I am not sure what to do next and I think you not being able to talk makes it a little more difficult." She said, taking a step toward Makoto only to have her recoil.

Since Makoto was closest to the door, she knocked hard on it twice, calling to attention the two women in the bed. Miyuki opened the door only to be pulled in, standing in front of Makoto. Makoto began writing feverishly on her back.

"I'm sorry I can't speak the words I want to tell you myself, so I'll just use Yuki since she kind of looks like me. I am sorry that I've hurt you and caused you so much pain by being in love with you. If I thought that all of this would have happened, I would have done things differently, a lot differently." Miyuki said speaking the written words Makoto drew on her back.

"You have no idea the pain I feel at the hurt I've caused you, the things I've put you through. I hid the parts of my life that I wasn't proud of that I thought you'd be ashamed of or would scare you away. With the power I've come to have, I thought I would scare you, I thought that how my body looked would make you run from me. I had thought about how to tell you about Miyuki for weeks since it became apparent that I liked you more than just a friend. I didn't know how to bring it up, I didn't know how to start a conversation like that."

Ami opened her mouth to say something but was cut off by Makoto.

"I love you Ami, I love you more than anything in this world and there isn't anything I wouldn't do for you. I've messed up, I've messed up big time but there isn't anything I can do to make it better. If I could change the past I would, gods I would change a lot of things in my life. I'm just so sorry for everything I've given you over the last few weeks, they are things you've never should have experienced. I know that with these things, you'll need time, so take as much time as you need from me. If it's hours, days, weeks, or years then so be it, I understand."

Both Ami and Miyuki were crying freely at the words Makoto was writing and that pang Ami felt in her heart when Urawa was around doubled ten fold at what Makoto was implying.

"I give you…" Miyuki shook her head, sobbing.

"I can't say it Mako, I can't say it!" she sobbed.

Makoto frowned and wrote it again. She kept writing it until Miyuki turn around and left to find Mara, her heart breaking at the scene. Makoto moved to the sink to spit out the blood she had in her mouth.

Ami watched as she began using her blood to write script on the mirror. Her eyes widened in horror as she began to see the word Makoto was beginning to write. She moved as quickly as she could to grab Makoto's hand, making the word incomplete.

Makoto looked down at Ami, seeing her shake and sob as she clung to her arm.

"Don't write that word…please don't write that word…" Ami whispered between sobs.

Ami's heart was breaking, she could feel pieces fall and shatter all around her. She had come to understand only the beginnings of love with this woman; she had finally allowed herself to experience something other than Senshi duties and school. The thought of Makoto not being in her life physically drained her, physically hurt her, and no matter how scared or even angry she could get at the brown haired girl; she would never stop loving her.

"I don't want freedom from you; I don't ever want to leave you. I'm scared and a little overwhelmed but those feelings are nothing compared to the fear and pain I would feel if you left. We've been through so much together, why can't we make it through this?" she asked, turning her face to look at Makoto.

"Are you sure that being with me, after everything I've done, is something that you want as well?" Makoto wrote on Ami's chest.

"Hai, I don't ever want you to leave, I love you Makoto."

That's all Makoto needed, that's all she wanted. She pulled Ami close to her hugging the smaller girl fiercely, tears of relief falling from her cheeks. They stayed like that for the longest time, until there was a knock on the door.

"Sorry to interrupt anything, but, I need to go to the bathroom. I would use the other bathroom but I'm still to weak to um, get there." A voice said from behind the door.

Makoto smiled as she opened the door, hugging Mara and writing on her back that she loved her very much and that no harm was done. Mara smiled back, glad things were starting to get better.

"Goodnight both of you. We'll be gone in the morning I think, so make sure you tell Yuki night."

"We will Mara-chan, thank you for the lovely evening tonight. You play flute wonderfully." Ami said as she hugged the woman gently.

"Not a problem, I'm just glad that I didn't totally ruin your evening. We'll see you two later."

"Soon?" Ami asked as she went to shut the bathroom door.

"You can count on it." Miyuki said from behind her with a wide smile.


Authors Notes: Well, did you like it? I did a lot. It makes everyone a bit closer and as you can see - a 'certain' event is forthcoming!

Thank you everyone for your support and encouragement!

Chapter 13 to follow shortly.