A/N: double update, yay! Don't miss that I also added chapter 11! I hope you like it and I hope you review so I can know how to make it better or what I'm doing well!
April 29, 1935
I had been making our meals since Aunt Lily died, but we never ate together anymore. All my money from work had been going towards our expenses and I tried to work as many hours as possible. Steve and Bucky told me not to worry, they understood why I couldn't spend as much time with them anymore. Bucky tried to give me some money from his job, but I refused. Between my job and Uncle Ryan's we should be able to get by, and he needed it for his own family. Steve had a job for a bit too, but he was sick too often and got fired. It made him really upset with his own ailments because they were still holding him back from doing things he wanted to do.
I was too nervous to talk to Uncle Ryan about anything and it did not seem like he cared much that I kept to myself. I tried to keep myself as busy as possible. I figured if I always had something to do, I wouldn't feel much of the pain from losing her. When I wasn't working, I was in the library studying or looking for ways to pay for and get into college. I also spent time with Bucky and Steve trying to always find ways to have as much fun as possible. I was not going to think about how hurt I was she died, or that my only family left wouldn't help me through it. I was still 16, the adult should have been the one helping the two of us get through this together. I couldn't understand why he wouldn't talk to me.
May 23, 1935 (STEVE POV)
Maddi had insisted multiple times she was alright, but it was hard to believe sometimes. She would always try to stay out of her house doing anything that kept her mind busy. We went to Coney Island together and her and Bucky made me go on the cyclone. I threw up and she had felt so bad for making me ride it. "Steve, are you sure you're going to be okay? I'll walk you home." she said to me by the trash can.
"Yeah buddy, we didn't mean for this to happen," Bucky added. "I can tell Dolores I have to go, we can both take you home." He had brought a date when Maddi made our plans, and Maddi didn't mind. It didn't seem too serious with the girl, except for that Bucky blew all his money trying to win her a prize.
"Nah, you go ahead and finish your date alone." I assured him.
"Really, Bucky. I'll take him home," Maddi said with a smile.
We took the train back to towards our neighborhood and walked towards my house mostly with Maddi talking about a million frivolous things. It was not ulike her to carry many of our conversations, mainly because I enjoyed hearing what she had to say, but this was the more different Maddi that came about after her aunt died. For the first time in awhile, I brought it up. "Maddi, what's really going on? You never talk about how you feel like you did with your family from Tennessee." She stopped and looked at the ground in silence. When she spoke up, her voice wavered.
"I just don't know how to deal with it I guess," she said. "Everyday I try to distract myself because it's all different again. My Uncle never talks to me and I think he started drinking much more than before. I miss her a lot, but i also feel guilty for not knowing her more. I just don't know what to do anymore." She was quietly crying, trying to wipe her tears before I saw. I took in what she said and realized how conflicted her emotions were.
"You can always talk to me about it, Maddi. I know I didn't know her well, but I care about you and I want you to be happy. It's okay to cry too," I added while taking her hand suddenly and just as quickly letting it go when I realized what I did. It made her smile, however, and I smiled back at her.
She grabbed my hand and nodded, "I just don't want to let anyone down. I need to keep having fun and looking toward my future so I don't let her down especially. She believed I could make it as a scientist, and I want to see that through too."
"I want to see you do it because I also believe in you," I told her."But it's okay to slow down. You're the smartest person I know and Ms. Jackson seems to think you are well ahead of where you need to be. It's all going to work out, I know it." We smiled at each other as we arrived at my apartment.
"Well, I'll see you later, thank you Steve," she said and I nodded and said goodnight in return. We both realized we were still holding hands quickly dropped them. I walked inside and sighed wishing I had the courage to have kissed her.
June 30, 1935
Uncle Ryan lost his job for drinking while working. I had luckily found a second job at a diner near our school to make more money as the flower shop didn't offer enough hours to provide for the two of us. I didn't say anything to him when I found out, how could I? I was still living under his roof and it wasn't like our relationship had improved at all. I was slowly becoming more like myself, but that didn't apply to how I as with Uncle Ryan. I tried to stay out of his business as I simply paid all the bills I could and continued to work at home. It was good school was out, but I didn't know how I would manage once it started up again in the fall. I didn't tell my friends the truth why I took the second job, I just said I missed working at a diner before even if the circumstances weren't so great at the last one.
"You know Mads, this was a great decision. Half off food for us, you sure know how to win our hearts," Bucky said with a face full of cheeseburger and fries as they sat at the counter and I worked behind.
"Yeah you're just lucky my boss is kind enough to let you have a discount." I replied while wiping down the space a previous customer ate at. "Hey Steve, why aren't you eating like a madman like Bucky over here?" I teased because he hadn't touched his food at all.
"Oh, I'm not feeling too well right now," he said without looking at me.
"What is it? Allergies? Asthma? Do you need to lie down?" I asked stopping what I was working on. He was looking a little pale.
"Oh no, don't worry Maddi. I just don't have much of an appetite." He smiled at me but I was unconvinced. He often became sick with one small thing and it brought his entire physical behavior down. Part of it was mental but a lot was that his body just didn't react to being sick well.
"Okay, well just take it easy then," I told him sternly and he nodded back to me in agreeance. "What do you boys want to do after my shift?" I asked, changing the subject.
"Oh we can't hang out tonight Maddi, we both have dates." Bucky said with a grin. Steve did not look as enthused, he honestly looked more sick at the mention of it.
"Oooo, that's exciting! How did you come about these dates?" I asked with curiosity as Steve was never one to go on dates like Bucky.
"I met this girl and she has a friend. I figured what better person to set her up with than my buddy, Steve," he said while putting a friendly hand on Steve's shoulder.
"Yeah, it's probably not going to go well. She agreed before meeting me so…" Steve trailed off in his sentence and it made me frown.
"Steve, if this girl doesn't love everything about you, she isn't worth your time," I told him. I hated how people treated Steve, he was sick and a little smaller than most men, but had a heart bigger than anyone and was smart and attractive. "What are you four planning?"
"Dinner and dancing," Bucky spoke up.
"Oh I love to dance! I hope y'all have fun, I'll probably just be heading to the library or maybe home after work then," I replied.
"Still not dating anyone new, Maddi?" Bucky asked me with a smirk.
I shook my head and said, "I haven't been on any date in quite a while. There isn't enough time for that what with my jobs, school, keeping up the home, and dealing with you two." I smiled as they pretended to be hurt by my words. They left after finishing their lunch and I continued until my shift ended an hour later.
I took a slow walk home and unlocked the door to hear a bottle crash in the next room. I quickly ran towards the sound to see my uncle standing over what seemed like a dropped bottle of whiskey on the floor. He didn't seem to phased by it and just grabbed a second bottle from the shelf and took it with him to his room in silence. My hands were shaking as I wiped a few tears away. I didn't understand how he had let himself get in this constant state. He still had me to take care of but it had been turning into the other way around. I got a brom and tried to sweep all the glass pieces. I mopped up the drink and slightly cut my hands while wringing the mop. He still hadn't left his room by the time I finished. I went to our container of money to put my last week's earnings in with the rest of the money. I had been keeping a close count to make sure all our bills were being paid and we had enough for food and other necessities. After that, I went straight to work on dinner, some boiled chicken and rice. It was a common meal because it was cheap and filling enough. I ate my own meal and decided to go to bed as I left the plate of food for uncle Ryan to have whenever he decided it was time to eat.
July 19, 1935
I came home from work to find all the money in our container gone. I knew exactly where it had gone as we were running out of all our alcohol the day before, but we suddenly had plenty more bottles as I looked around the kitchen in shock and anger. There was enough to pay essentials, but I knew I wouldn't be eating anything from home in weeks to make up for this. I only really ate enough anymore because I got one free meal a day at the diner. It was one of the best places to eat in town, so they had the money to help out their employees. Usually, I only made dinner about twice a week and it was starting to show on me how little I was truly eating. Thankfully, nobody had mentioned it yet because I just didn't want to talk about it. He went out with some other guys from time to time, and I assumed he ate with them too. I honestly didn't care where he would find food from here on out. I wasn't just angry with my uncle but with myself for thinking I could leave the money in a place he could find it. I felt so stupid. He had no problem talking to some other people, but he always ignored me. I had tried to talk with him, but it never worked. He was too drunk to care or just didn't want to talk with me in general. I couldn't imagine how Aunt Lily felt about this watching from heaven. I prayed everyday to God that this would get better for her sake. It was not fair he husband and niece couldn't even hold a conversation. I didn't know what to do anymore and I sometimes just hoped this would all just go away.
