Chapter 12
When Merlin woke up, Arthur was already out of bed, and he could hear the water running in the shower. Wanting to figure out why Arthur had lied the night before, he burst in the room and Arthur nearly squealed, bringing a towel to his chest.
" Merlin! What the hell!"
"What? It's not like I've never seen you naked before. And why are you hiding your chest but barely your…"
"Alright, off you go!" Arthur hissed, pushing him out of the room and slamming the door in his face, leaving Merlin to wonder what was going on.
He had wanted to wait for Arthur to get out of the bathroom, but after waiting for nearly fifteen minutes, he decided the talk could wait, but getting breakfast couldn't.
He found Hunith and Morgana already sitting at the table and eating, and his mother pushed the plate full of pancakes towards him.
"I thought you'd already be gone to work" Merlin told Morgana, who shook her head.
"I have an appointment with Annis at ten, so I decided it'd be useless to go to the office for barely thirty minutes."
Merlin nodded and bit into his pancake, as Arthur finally came down the stairs. Hunith asked him how he was feeling and Arthur smiled, assuring he felt perfectly fine, but Merlin could tell there was something wrong in his voice. He sighed and slightly pushed the plate so that Arthur could grab pancakes too. Arthur smiled at him and grabbed one before turning to Morgana.
"So, when is that party of Gwaine? I don't think you mentioned it last night."
"Tonight, actually." Morgana answered. She put her food down, sipped her drink and looked straight into her brother's eyes. "When are you moving out?"
Arthur froze and frowned."What?"
"You're not going to stay here forever, I forbid it. So I'm only asking when you'll move out, you can't work so you'll have plenty of time to find an apartment."
"Morgana, he just woke up from a coma! Why are you so eager to see us leave?" Merlin scowled, knowing Morgana's words were only comforting Arthur in his stupid idea that his sister didn't really care about him.
"I'm not eager to see you leave, Merlin, I'm only saying that it would be better for everyone if you started looking for a place. And what about your former house, isn't the police done with it now?" She asked Arthur.
"They never called to say he could go back in, so I'd say they're not." Merlin shrugged, and Arthur bit his lip nervously.
"Well actually… They called a few weeks ago. A few weeks before the bomb, I mean."
"What? Why didn't you tell me?"
Merlin realized his tone had been harsher than intended, and went to apologize for it, but Arthur cut him in.
"I don't know I just… I didn't feel like going back into it, so I didn't see the point in telling you I could." He said coldly, obviously annoyed by the importance Merlin was according to this. "And don't worry, Morgs, we won't bother you and your perfect life any longer, we're moving out today."
Morgana rolled her eyes.
"Stop overreacting, I didn't mean it like that!"
"Oh but you did! I know you, this is your way of telling me my presence is annoying you, so I took the hint, thank you very much."
"Oh, this is very mature of you, Arthur, deforming my every word just like you've always done!"
"Arthur, you should think about it" Hunith said softly. "Where will you even go if you leave?"
"We can sleep in a hotel, we'll be fine, won't we Merlin?"
Arthur looked at him expectantly, and Morgana and Hunith did the same, leaving Merlin to stare back with his mouth hanging, looking for the right thing to say.
"Well…"
"Well what? Come on, speak up!" Arthur huffed.
"Yes, speak up Merlin!" Morgana insisted as well.
Merlin gulped, and looked back and forth between Arthur and Morgana. He knew he should try to convince Arthur to stay at his sister's for a while, but he couldn't help but fear his reaction. He had been behaving so weird since he had woken up that Merlin was afraid rejection would only push him away for good.
" I guess we should be fine in a hotel for a few days?" He tried, making it sound more like a question than anything else.
Arthur shot a triumphing "Ah!" at his sister and grabbed Merlin's arm so he would stand up.
"That's settled then! Come on Merlin, let's go pack our things."
"What, right now?" Merlin squealed, trying to ignore Morgana's glares and to follow Arthur without falling.
"Well yes. My sister thinks our being here is a nuisance, so the sooner we leave, the better, right?"
Merlin sighed in answer, and tried to make him see reason once they were alone, but Arthur glared and accused him of having lied when he had said the hotel would be alright, so he sighed and gave up, swearing that as soon as they got to the damn hotel after Gwaine's party, he'd lock them up until Arthur admitted what was wrong with him.
He didn't actually see much of Arthur for the rest of the day, as he went to work –carefully avoiding Morgana –and when he came back to the hotel Arthur had picked, his boyfriend was nowhere to be seen. Frowning, he sat on the bed and grabbed his phone, dialing Arthur's number.
It ringed again and again until he fell on the voicemail, and Merlin sighed. The hotel was huge and posh, but Merlin didn't like it. Or rather, he didn't like the idea of living in a hotel just because Arthur and Morgana were unable to communicate properly. He paced into the room for a while, before trying to call again, failing. So he took a walk nearby, but as time passed he grew more and more worried, and ended up sitting on the bed again, his phone in one hand as he bit nervously on his other hand's nails, regularly trying to call Arthur.
He was nearly about to call Leon when the door opened on Arthur. Overwhelmed with relief, he jumped into his arms, earning himself an incredulous frown as Arthur awkwardly hugged him back.
"Where the hell were you?" Merlin shouted, hitting Arthur's arm. "Do you have any idea of how worried I was!?"
Arthur had at least the decency of looking a bit guilty.
"I'm sorry, I was bored, I went to see a movie. I didn't think about leaving you a note."
"Well, yes, you didn't think, you arse!"
Arthur sighed softly and pressed a kiss to his jaw. "I'm sorry alright? I swear I'll always leave you notes when I go out from now on. And when we'll be missing milk, and when I'll go to the bathroom, and…"
"Oh shut up!"Merlin hit his arm again, but couldn't help a small smile. Arthur laughed and kissed him lovingly.
"And I'll leave you daily notes to tell you how much I love you."
Merlin snorted.
"You mean you'll leave me "idiot" notes?"
Arthur laughed before grinning. "Yes, absolutely."
When they arrived to Gwaine's party, everybody else was already there. Merlin spotted Gwen and Lance near the bar, Gwaine was flirting with a blonde girl Merlin didn't know, and Morgana was sipping her drink, looking pretty angry. Merlin decided it would be a good idea to avoid her for a while, and decided to bring Arthur to meet Percy, hoping it would dissolve any doubts Arthur could still have.
Percy was on the phone, but he hung up when he saw them coming.
"Merlin! And you must be Arthur, I heard so much about you that I feel like I've known you forever!"
Arthur arched a brow at Merlin, who smiled and shrugged.
"I need to ask Gwaine something, I'll be right back."
"Ask him what?" Arthur asked.
"Where he put one of my files, I've been looking for it everywhere and I'm pretty sure he took it."
"And it can't wait tomorrow?"
Merlin laughed.
"Arthur, Gwaine won't be drunk tomorrow, but he is now, which means my best shot at getting the truth out of him is right now."
Arthur had to admit he was marking a point.
"Yeah, I guess you're right" He chuckled, and Merlin kissed him briefly before walking to Gwaine.
Truth be told, Gwaine had not stolen any files from him, but he needed an excuse to leave and it was the first thing that crossed his mind. He hoped that by leaving Arthur alone with Percy, he would once and for all understand that nothing was going on between them.
A bit later, Merlin was leaving the bathroom when Gwen and Gwaine cornered him.
"Is everything alright?" He asked, frowning.
"Is there something wrong with Arthur?" Gwaine asked back, and Merlin's frown deepened.
"What do you mean?"
"I mean, he's been avoiding us since you arrived. He won't speak to us, or to Morgana but I think she mentioned they've had a fight. Anyway, there must be something wrong."
"Really? That's weird, we were talking to Elyan just a few minutes ago, and Percy told me he and Arthur were getting on, so you must be wrong, he's not avoiding anyone. He even talked to that fiend of yours, Elena. Really guys, you must be overreacting"
"Actually they're right."
Arthur's voice startled Merlin, who jumped in surprise before clasping a hand on his heart.
"Christ, Arthur!"
"What do you mean, we're right?" Gwen turned to Arthur. "So you've been avoiding us?"
Arthur glared at her. "Yes. And I fully intend on continuing to do so." He turned to Merlin and gently took his arm. "You coming? Elyan and Elena want to show us something."
Gwen tried to call him out but Arthur's glare stopped her, and she sighed in defeat.
"Arthur, what's going on?" Merlin demanded as they made their way to Elyan and Elena.
"What do you mean?"
"Gwen and Gwaine. Why are you mad at them, what did they ever do to you?"
Arthur stopped abruptly.
"Do you really need to ask?"
"Yes! I don't understand."
"They tried to set up the man I love with someone else, isn't that reason enough to be mad?"
Merlin couldn't help but roll his eyes.
"Arthur" he said softly, wrapping an arm around him. "I've told you billion times that…"
"I know. But that's not…" Arthur sighed, running a hand through his hair, and when his eyes met Merlin's again, he looked so sad Merlin was sure his own heart was breaking. "Can we leave? I'm not trying to… I swear I'll explain, but…"
"Not here" Merlin understood. "Yeah. I'll just let Gwaine know we're leaving."
The ride to the hotel was calm. Merlin drove and Arthur looked through the window, not saying a word. They walked up the stairs, opened the door, threw their jackets on the bed and sat. Merlin stayed silent, waiting for Arthur to be ready to finally talk to him.
"I know nothing happened with Percy. He said he was more into Gwaine anyway, but… It's just, the fact that they tried, you know? I fell into a coma and all they wanted was for you to get over me. That… that hurts, you know. And" he silenced Merlin with his finger when he tried to answer. "Please let me finish or I'm not sure I'll ever have the strength to do it again. If it had worked, if you had found someone else, I… I don't know what I would have done. I love you, Merlin. I love you so much it scares me sometimes and I'm hurt, and I feel betrayed because they were supposed to be my friends and they didn't believe I would wake up. They didn't think I was worth waiting for."
Merlin closed his eyes for a second and clasped his hand in his.
"I don't think that's how they saw it. I…"
"Merlin, please. I know it may sound childish, but I don't want to talk about it."
Merlin nodded, kissed his cheek and got up to hang the coats properly, only to find him crying when he came back to bed. Biting his lip, he knelt between his parted knees and slowly lifted his chin so they'd be eye to eye.
"I get that you don't want to talk, but if it makes you cry, I…"
"It's not.. Why don't I matter to anyone? What have I done wrong?"
"Arthur, of course you matter!"
"Do I? My friends thought you'd be better off finding someone else after three months of coma, my sister can't stand the idea of me living with her, and… I don't want to lose you too. Maybe they were right, maybe I'm not worth it."
Merlin stood up and took his face in his hands.
"Alright, listen to me. You are worth it, Arthur. I love you, you're a prat, but you're sweet, and you make me laugh, and I don't ever want you to think you're not worthy of anything, because you're worth everything to me."
Arthur smiled sadly. "Do you really mean that?"
"Of course I do."
Arthur took a deep breath, got up and started to work his shirt open.
"What are you doing?"
"I know you didn't believe me when I said I had a stomachache last night, and you were right. I was afraid you'd leave me, that you wouldn't want me anymore, but I want to believe you meant what you said so I…"
He breathed and took his shirt off, revealing a burned mark that went from just below his left nipple and all the way to below his hip, covering about half of his chest.
"That's why you pushed me away?"
Arthur let out a bitter laugh.
"How could you still want me? Look at me, Merlin, I'm some kind of burned freak! Who could ever find that attractive?"
Before Merlin could answer, he added.
"I know you love me, but I don't want you to force yourself to have sex with me."
Merlin sighed and bit softly on his lip before slowly taking Arthur's hand to get him up. Moving slowly so he would not freak Arthur out, he raised his hand and softly placed it on Arthur's waist, right in the middle of the burn. Arthur froze but did not push him away, so Merlin took it as a sign he could take it a step further. He gently stroked the skin, and looked straight into his eyes.
"Do you know what's the first thing I thought when I first saw you?"
"Yeah, that I was a prat."
"No, that was the second thing" Merlin laughed. "The first thing I ever thought was that you were the most beautiful man I had ever seen."
Arthur closed his eyes and sighed. "Merlin…"
"And this" Merlin cut him in, putting just a little more pressure on Arthur's burned skin. "This doesn't change anything. You still are the most beautiful man I've ever seen. And even if it had been half of your face that had been burned, you'd still be perfect to me. I love you, and this is only a reminder that you are a survivor, and it will never, ever keep me from loving you. Or from wanting you."
To prove his point, Merlin pulled Arthur in a heated kiss, pushing his hips forward so Arthur would feel his hardness. Arthur moaned and broke the kiss, pressing his face into Merlin's neck and pulling him closer.
Merlin wanted nothing more than to force it into Arthur's head that all of his insecurities were unfounded, and that their friends, as well as Morgana and himself cared about him more than he knew. But he knew it would be a battle for another day, and that there was a better way to reassure him that night that didn't need words. So he pushed him on the bed and kissed him hard as he got rid of his own clothes. He pressed kisses on every part of his body, including the burn mark, before slowly entering him, and he made sure to show Arthur just how not-disgusted he was by the burn, all night long.
The following morning, they were still in bed, barely awake, when someone repeatedly knocked on the room's door. Groaning, Merlin wrapped the sheet around him and got up to open it. He then faced a dark-haired man who seemed vaguely familiar, but he couldn't remember where he had met him.
"Yes?"
"Is this Mr. Pendragon's room?"
Merlin frowned, but before he could ask for anything, Arthur appeared behind him.
"Yes. What do you want?"
"I'm employed by the hotel. We just wanted to make sure everything was alright."
"It's perfectly fine" Arthur said, and he closed the door to the man's face. "I hate when they do this. Just because I'm a famous businessman, they always think they need to make sure I won't talk badly about their things".
Merlin hummed, still trying to recall where he had seen that man. "Doesn't he seem familiar to you?"
Arthur shook his head. "I don't think I ever saw him before, why?"
"I just… Feel like I've seen him before, but I don't know where."
"Does it really matter?"
Merlin hummed again. "I guess not." He said, but he still had a strange feeling.
When Arthur slammed the door into Mordred's face, he turned around and took a few steps before taking his phone out. It ringed a few times before someone answered.
"Morgause? I found him."
