Chapter 10.5: Derek's "Adventure"
Hey everybody, you were probably expecting KineAvai to show up with this chapter, but she was given the day off by me Yoshi'snumber1friend. I'm actually Jesse the raccoon in this story (no lie). Anyways, since she was given the day off because she's my best buddy and she deserves it for being an awesome writer I'm in charge of this chapter, so here you goes.
When we last left off, our heroes were at Meechanstaire having an awesome time partying, or in Derek and Lilly's case, rolling around getting drunk. Now the band excluding Derek, who passed out due to rum poisoning (yes it exists) went to the mountain to get the next scepter, but unfortunately for Derek, he's all alone without a map...
Derek: (Wakes up groggily) Aw man, Mrs. Pobble and I are never ordering those again... wait, where did everybody go? Oh no! They left without me!!!! How will I find them? How will I get back to- OOOOOO RUM!!!!! :D.
Derek had spotted a left over bottle of rum from the feast. He eagerly ran over and started drinking, only to find that none was left.
Derek: Darn! :(. Guess I'd better find them then while... (shudders) being sober...
So Derek decided to begin his search in the magical forest of Meechanstaire. At first his morals were high, then as his journey went on he tired out and eventually got so tired he could only crawl.
Derek: (Panting, sweaty, gasping) Oh my gosh, must. Keep. Continuing.
Just then a local ant passed by, but stopped to look at Derek because his strange floating hat and scarf tipped him off.
Ant: Dude, that's just sad, you've only walked 3 feet from over there.
Derek: Easy for you to say, you didn't climb that huge rock.
Ant: -_- that's a pebble.
Derek: Well EXCUSE me for not being a great rock climber like you! :(
Ant: Seriously, you could have just stepped over it...
Derek: Yeah! Well forget you! I'm leaving! (Crawls onward)
Ant: Oh yeah... he's not gonna make it.
Later as Derek crawled through the forest, he came upon many strange sights that were foresty and magical, and magically foresty. Anyway, Derek finally came upon a few birds that were fighting over a strange looking jacket that was colored greenish-brownish.
Bird 1: No! It's mine! The mountain lord eagle gave it to me!
Bird: No! He gave it to me first, so it's mine.
Derek: Hey guys, why are you fighting over the jacket?
Bird 1: Well, our eagle lord on the mountain gave us this very precious and expensive eagle jacket, and I had it first.
Bird 2: You mean I had it first!
Bird 1: OH yeah?!?
So as the birds resumed their bickering Derek asked what material the jacket was, and the birds told him seaweed. This prompted a thought in Derek's mind, and that thought was that he needed a jacket like that to go with his scarf and hat.
Derek: (In his mind) I want that jacket! I will take it from them!
Just then an angel Derek and an evil Derek appeared on opposite shoulders.
Angel Derek: (In a high pitched British accent) No Derek, you can't take stuff from these poor poor creatures!
Evil Derek: (In a deeper toned Australian accent) Sure you can, I mean look at that, they left the jacket on the ground, that must mean they don't want it!
Angel Derek: But-
Derek: Bad Derek wins! I'm getting my jacket now!
So as Derek ran to the jacket, the Good and Bad Dereks were left floating in the air.
Angel Derek: If he gets killed I'm blaming you!
Evil Derek: Hey, just because he doesn't have that much of a visible body, doesn't mean he can't have good clothes!
Angel Derek: I must admit you do have a good point.
Evil Derek: Thanks!
Angel Derek: No problem buddy!
(With Derek)
Derek: Alright! I got the jacket, and those eagles didn't even notice. :D
Bird 1: What didn't we notice?
Derek: Um, that your shoes untied?
Bird 1: Oh hey thanks! (Stoops down to tie shoes, but stops) Hey wait a minute!
But by then Derek was already running away really fast.
Bird 2: Get him!
So the birds chased Derek all over the forest, Derek was somehow faster than the birds and kept a good lead away from them. Finally Derek ducked behind a tree and watched the birds go past.
Derek: Phew! Finally lost em'. :D
Birds 1 and 2: (In front of him) Ahem!
Derek: :O
Then Derek tried to run away again, but the birds grabbed his jacket and pulled him back!
Derek: Please don't hurt me!
Bird 1: Just give us the jacket back and we won't. :(
Derek: Never!
Bird 2: :( Then this'll only hurt a lot!
Derek: Oh noes! :O
Just then it occurred to Derek that he could teleport, and right as he got punched in the eye he teleported. Unfortunately the impact from the punch made him lose control of the teleport and he teleported himself off the edge of a cliff!
Derek: (Now with a somehow visible black spot where his eye would be) OH CRUD! AHHHHH!!!!!!
As Derek was falling he started writing his will, which consisted of only one thing, to be buried with Jerry so he could get back the $50 Jerry got from him by accident.
Derek: This looks like the end! I can't look!
Just then, a ghostly image of Jerry (which actually looked like a blue transparent Jerry) appeared next too Derek.
Ghost Jerry: OOOOOooo... Derek! I have a message for you!
Derek: Oh my gosh! It's Jerry's spirit! Are you a jedi?
Ghost Jerry: What? No! Listen, I've come to teach you a new ability you can use only once.
Derek: What good is it if I can use it only once?
Ghost Jerry: Listen, just let me tell you, say some certain words, and you will be transported to a path that leads you to your friends!
Derek: Alright! Sweet, what do I have to say to use this power?
Ghost Jerry: I actually have no idea, you have to ask yourself.
Derek: But how will I use a power I just found out that I had?
Ghost Jerry: Well, IDK, but you might wanna figure out fast.
Derek: (Sarcasm) Gee thanks!
Ghost Jerry: (Actually serious) You're welcome, say hi to Mrs. Pobble for me! (fades away)
Derek: So do I just say some kind of spell magic words like Alakazam? Abracadabra? Derek-kazam? Magicsundea?
Just as Derek was about to hit the ground he was suddenly transported away to some part of the forest.
Derek: Wow! It worked! I knew it was crabcakes! :D But where do I go next?
Just then some kind of small eagle got out of a nearby bush.
Derek: Ah! Not you again!
Eagle: What? No I'm not those guys, and I'm here to help you see the next path!
Derek: Great! So where is it?
Eagle: Right behind you.
Derek: (Turns around) OH hey it is!
Eagle: You probably won't even make it into the scepter's cave, our great lord Kukumoonoo guards the scepter.
Derek: Wait, did he kill a jellyfish on the way here?
Eagle: Yes, why?
Derek: I'm going in... AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!
Derek charged in bravely like a Spartan or a jedi, and maybe even like Alexander the Great. But because was kinda out of shape from the rum, the feast, and not using his legs cause he floats all the time, so he got really tired again.
Derek: Aw man! I'll never make it at this rate!
Just then, a giant floating octopus came.
Derek: Oh no! Not the Kraken!
Kraken: Okay, what the heck is with people, me, and the Kraken? Every darned time they get scared and say "Ah! It's the Kraken."
Derek: Well, sorry, but you are big and scary?
Kraken: Look do you need a ride up or not?
Derek: Oh well in that case you're now the giant friendly octopus! Or Terry.
Terry: (Sigh) That's the worst name yet, all right! Let's go.
So Derek and the octopus (or Terry) floated up the mountain and finally landed on the top, and Derek jumped off and prepared to face Kukumoonoo.
Derek: Alright CoComuunuu! Come out wherever you are! And Terry is right behind me... Terry?
But to Derek's surprise, Terry had disappeared.
Derek: Oh crud!
Just then, a giant eagle landed in front of him.
Derek: Oh noes! It's Cocomoonoo!
Kukumoonoo: No It's Kukumoonoo the DEMON OF MT. KILLAMAN.
Derek: Same difference.
Kukumoonoo: No it isn't, so you think just cause a name sounds the same doesn't mean it is the same thing, haven't you ever heard of those um... uh... yamaphones...no... um... homaphanes...
Derek: Homophones?
Kukumoonoo: Oh now you're calling me homo huh? You jerk!
Derek: Crud! This isn't going so well.
Kukumoonoo: I was gonna ask if you want the scepter, but now you'll die!
Derek: Aw come on! Can't we settle this over a pint?
Kukmoonoo: Well... I suppose we cou- hey no way! I'm not an alcoholic!
Derek: Crud!! (To be Continued by Kine cause I already did more work than she did.)
Me: Well, I suppose that is good for now. So this has been another installment of the office (I wish) anyway, bye!
