A/N: Thanks again for the many reviews! :) You guys absolutely made my otherwise crappy day! :) Thanks!
Hope you like the rest of their talk, too! :)
Chapter Twelve: Floored
Tony didn't quite know how long they had been standing there like that, just looking at each other, not even touching if you didn't count locking eyes with each other because, seriously, Tony hadn't been looked at like that ever before, he was sure of that. Finally, Gibbs cleared his throat and sat back down and Tony hurried to follow suit, flopping down on the chair right next to Gibbs'.
"Okay," Gibbs said, averting his eyes to look at his hands instead.
"Okay," Tony repeated, not wanting to start that particular part of the conversation.
He didn't really want to talk about the problems that that kind of relationship would bring along, didn't want to think about the consequences at work and everything. Couldn't they just keep on sitting there, staring at each other and just do nothing?
"We should probably talk," Gibbs shredded his last glimmer of hope.
"Can we just not?" he grinned slightly. "You usually don't like to talk anyway."
"Don't make me head slap you, Tony," Gibbs answered but his voice sounded rather amused now, the tension seemingly easing up.
"Okay, then start talking."
"There are a few things we should probably, you know, think through. But answer me one more question, will you?" he glanced at Tony who nodded and he continued. "What exactly do you want out of this?"
"I don't know," the younger man sighed. "I mean, I know that I don't just want to have some fun, though I do want that, too. But… I don't know what you're thinking of exactly but I'm in. I think I'm all in."
"All in, huh? You sure you want to do that?"
"Don't dare saying something about being a bastard or anything. I already know that. In fact, I think I know you pretty well… after all, we've been working together for ten years now."
"You're right. We do know each other. Doesn't mean it'll make things easy."
"No, but easier," Tony replied, giving him a small smile and took Gibbs' hand in his. "Look, I know that the two of us are pretty dysfunctional when it comes to stuff like this but look at the bright side of that. It can't get any worse than before, can it?"
Gibbs actually let out a laugh at that and softly increased the pressure on Tony's hand. "You're right, it can't. But there's still the job we have to consider, you know that."
"The way I see it," Tony started, making eye contact again. "It shouldn't be a problem."
"How you figure that?"
"Well, we always cared about each other, right? And we always had each other's six and I don't see that changing."
Gibbs gave a half-shrug before he pulled his hand out of Tony's and rubbed it over his face.
"I've made those rules a long time ago, Tony. Back then, I couldn't have made a bigger mistake than getting involved with a co-worker."
"Listen," Tony sighed trying to catch his eye again. "I'm not Jenny and I'm not going anywhere, either. I trust you."
"I know that."
"But?" Tony prodded, knowing that Gibbs was still thinking about something and his stomach clenched at the thought that maybe, maybe, maybe Gibbs would back-pedal after all.
"I don't know," Gibbs sighed and Tony fought the instant urge to wrap his arms around him because, seriously, he had never seen the guy like that, looking nothing but lost.
"Look at me, Gibbs. I'm not going anywhere. Even if we don't… start something, I'll still be here. I'm not giving up the only relationship, the only family that lasted more than a few years just because we couldn't make it work. I'd be crushed, I admit that but I won't go anywhere. All I'm asking you is to give this a chance before you decide it can't work."
Gibbs looked at him for a few moments and Tony felt that odd fluttering motion in his stomach again. Gibbs had never looked at him like that, his head tilted ever so slightly, a small half-smile on his face, his eyes staring at him kindly for once.
"First of all," he cleared his throat once again. "It's Jethro, okay? Secondly, I get where you're coming from and I believe you and you're right about everything you've said."
"But what, Jethro?" Tony probed, emphasizing the before unused name.
"How can you say you're not going anywhere? What if it turns out that we couldn't work it out, that I was a bigger bastard than you could have ever imagined? How d'you know?"
"Easy question," Tony replied, smiling at him because he was sure by now that Gibbs just wanted to make sure the he was sure, otherwise he wouldn't ask all kinds of stuff. "It's a gut feeling. Granted, it's not the famous Leroy Jethro Gibbs gut. However, I've learned from the best and my gut was telling me before that kissing you would be awesome, too, and guess what, it was!"
"That easy, huh?" Gibbs replied, his voice still somewhat grave, though his eyes suddenly had that spark in them again.
"I've always been easy," Tony joked and it worked apparently as Gibbs - no Jethro, Jethro, Jethro – gave him a smile and took Tony's hand back into his.
"And look," the younger man continued more seriously. "If you're not comfortable with work and stuff, we don't need to tell anyone. I mean, okay, Abby already knows about that… crush I have and she will never stop harassing us about it but we don't have to tell the others. Not right away, if that's what you want."
"Appreciate that," Gibbs answered slowly. "We will have to talk to them in the end though. But I guess we could keep it quiet until we're settled, until we're sure about all of that?"
"Sounds like a damn good plan to me."
"You really are easy," Jethro teased and started trailing patterns on the back of Tony's hand with his thumb. "And you sure you want to be with me? With a man?"
"Well," Tony dragged out the word, trying to find a way to say this without sounding utterly stupid. "You know I always thought about myself as straight and stuff but those last weeks when I tried to talk myself out of this, when I was in denial about falling for you, I tried all sorts of stupid stuff to prove to myself that I'm in fact not gay. And I know it sounds stupid but well, I've tried everything you know, from watching gay porn - and yep, I've been that desperate – to kissing a guy. And surprise, I was still turned on. A lot. And as I'm already humiliating myself right now, I had a couple of dreams about you, too, and they really drove me almost insane. So, yeah, I've never been with a man before but I don't think it'll be a problem. Like… at all."
"You really have it bad," Jethro replied, grinning at him and Tony knew that he wasn't really laughing at him but just wanted to loosen up the tension between them. "Okay then, that's settled."
"Awesome," Tony felt a smile splitting his face in half again. "So does that mean you actually want to try? Or am I just being stupid again?"
"You're never stupid, Tony, you hear me? I'd call it goofy. One more thing, though."
"Okay, shoot."
"You didn't ask me."
"Ask you what?" Tony replied confused, having no clue where Gibbs was getting at.
"Asked me, whether I was okay with your being a guy."
"Well, I… just figured, you know…" Tony trailed off as he saw the slight smirk appear on the other man's face. "Wait."
Tony stared at him curiously, suddenly remembering that he did find it rather strange that Jethro had reacted so relaxed back then Tony had told him where those hickeys were coming from. And hadn't it been kind of odd that he had known where that club was, when he had dropped him off? But it surely couldn't be what he was thinking it was? Right?
He looked at him again and that smirk had broadened now as Tony felt his eyes widen. "You have before?" he finally stammered.
"Couple times."
Tony let out a laugh and shook his head, still not believing it. How could Gibbs have been… like that all that time and he had never – never! – known. Hell, he hadn't even suspected. He tried to think about anything that would have indicated that Gibbs played for both teams but couldn't come up with anything at all. Never once had he caught him looking at a guy a second too long, never once had he mentioned anything. He shook his head again and sighed. If he had only known that a couple of weeks before, he wouldn't have had to go through all of that crap. Telling him about his feelings would have been so much easier, wouldn't it? But then again, Tony had always had the tendency to freak out about stuff like that and that voice inside his head was laughing at him now, telling him that he wouldn't have told him anyway.
"Shock you that much now?"
"Shock is not exactly the right word," Tony slowly replied. "Wow, I mean… I'm… floored. I never would have assumed you… right, never assume anything."
"Yup," Jethro just replied, still smirking at him.
"So, uh," Tony stuttered trying to form a sentence that would actually make sense (also, why was this so surprising? Shouldn't he have been more surprised that Jethro actually wanted him? That he actually wanted to be with him? He really was getting stranger by the day after all, huh?). "I… uh… have you been, you know, serious with a guy before?"
Jethro tilted his head ever so slightly to his right side now and gave him a fully grown smile this time, making Tony's stomach all fuzzy again all of a sudden.
"No. To be honest, I have never even considered the possibility."
"That's why you needed time before?" Tony probed, finally able to think straight (or un-straight actually) again.
"Yeah, guess so," Jethro shrugged before he added. "You have a problem with that?"
"What? No, of course not," Tony replied indignantly. "I'm just… surprised, I guess. Will make some things easier, though."
"Oh yeah? Like what?" That smirk was back on the older man's face and Tony felt himself relax again as he wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.
"Yeah, well, you know," Tony replied, feeling a grin spread on his face. "Can't hurt to have someone… experienced in that area, right?"
Jethro just snorted and increased the pressure on Tony's hand again. "So, we're really doing this?"
"Like I said, I'm all in and I'm sure that we'll work out all the other stuff, too. How hard can it be, right?"
"Yeah, right. You've no idea," Jethro grinned at him.
"Can I ask for something, though?"
Gibbs nodded once again, that ridiculously sweet smile still on his face (wait, had he just really thought of sweet? This was Gibbs for heaven's sake. He wasn't sweet! Sexy, hot maybe, not sweet.).
"Can we take it slow? As much that I really want this… and I mean all of this," he gestured towards Gibbs' body. "I don't want to mess it up by going too fast. Does that make sense?"
"It does and yeah, we can, too. We can take all the time you need. Besides," Jethro continued, a mischievous grin on his lips. "We can't do anything too strenuous anyway, you being invalid and stuff."
"I'm not an invalid," Tony said, poking Jethro's chest with his good arm (and no, he absolutely did not wince as a sharp pain erupted in his other shoulder). "I'm just temporarily not… on top level."
"Sure, sure."
"Are you making fun of me, Jethro?" Tony asked, rolling the r in the other man's name just to tease him.
"Would never dare." Again, that damn smile and that goddamn fuzzy feeling in his stomach. "So how slow exactly do you want to go? First base? Second base?"
"Define first base," Tony grinned as he let his hand sink down onto Jethro's right thigh.
"Well, first base would be holding hands, right? But we already do that, huh?"
"Second base it is, then," Tony replied, smiling broadly at him as he almost unconsciously inched closer towards the other man.
"Ya think?" Jethro asked and Tony almost laughed out loud at that because, seriously, that sentence was so utterly familiar that he wondered for a moment how he could have thought that this would destroy anything between Gibbs – Jethro – and him.
"Yeah, pretty sure about that."
Jethro gave him another smile before he leaned into him with Tony mirroring his action. Their lips met again and this time he was 100 percent sure there had to be butterflies swirling around somewhere inside of him. It was almost shy at first, a gentle and lingering touch of their lips as if they were both hesitating, as if they both wanted to take the time to memorize that feeling before they would break away again. Tony didn't exactly know how long they stayed like that before he could feel Jethro's tongue tentatively licking his lips, begging for entrance and Tony did him the favor, sliding his lips apart. They battled for dominance for a while with neither of them winning or losing before Gibbs almost reluctantly backed away, the smile never leaving his face.
"Second base's good. Really good."
A/N: Reviews would be great! xD
