CINE 12?

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THE APARTMENT: MID-AFTERNOON

"Cyn, we got company comin' over..."

"You know how important this is. He's already waited too long. I still don't know how he talked them out of in-patient therapy after he was released..."

"He didn't. Catherine did."

"What?"

"Hey, the kid was raped, damn it! There he is, in pain an' everybody tellin' him what to do... Then the doc comes out with a week in the psych ward like it's a done deal. Greg went ballistic. He was so mad an' scared Cath wasn't sure she was gonna be able to calm him down."

"Ah. The ultimate loss of control, leading to a hospital where you surrender even more power over what happens to you."

"Yeah. Glad you understand. The last thing he needs now is to go there again."

"I do understand, Nick. It doesn't change anything. Unless he talks through his fears and starts dealing he may never leave that apartment and hermit and criminalist don't go together."

"I know that. Damn... tomorrow morning?"

"I'll clear the whole day so he can have as much time as he needs. Then there's you..."

"Cynthia..."

"Last time we talked I believe you mentioned a deal the two of you made..."

Nick sighed and rubbed his eyes.

"We'll see, okay?"

"We'll see. Your favorite procrastination tactic rears its ugly head."

"Cyn..."

"He trusts you, Nicholas. Don't start breaking promises to him or that trust will evaporate."

"God, I hate it when you use my whole first name... all of a sudden I'm five years old again an' I have this urge to just drop my chin to my chest an' say 'Yes, ma'mm.' "

"Go with that feeling, Nicholas."

"Okay, okay! Enough! Lordy... I'll try. Let's see how it goes tomorrow, alright?"

"Around ten?"

"Fine. See ya."

Cynthia's response was quieter and more gentle than the teasing, mothering voice she had been using.

"You'll be alright, Nicky. Remember the affirmation you came up with?"

A muscle along Nick's jaw tightened for a moment, but he gritted out a response.

"I'm stronger than I know, smarter than I think an' more loved than I realize."

"Good. Hold onto that. Take care."

"Bye, Cyn."

Hanging up, Nick moved toward the couch, where Greg was starting to stir. The focus needed for his music lesson with Warrick had drained Greg and after the other man had left, his student had, within ten minutes, curled up on the sofa and fallen deeply asleep. Wanting to avoid scaring his house-mate, Nick waited until Greg's eyes were fully open before crouching down to his level.

"Hey. Sorry if the phone woke you."

"it didn't. My stomach got there first. Who was it?"

"Ummm... that was my friend... the psychologist."

"Oh. I forgot about that." Greg replied warily as he sat up. Nick moved to sit beside him.

"Yeah... she's, ummm... she's gonna be here tomorrow morning. Ten o'clock."

"I didn't agree to that."

"I know... but we need her. Both of us need help."

'I don't. I can handle what's... going on in my own head."

"Maybe you can... and maybe I can, too, but don't you ever want you and I... to turn into us?"

"How can you ask me that? I thought... you understood how I feel."

"I do. Listen... before you got off the vent, when you were still out cold, Cath an' I were arguin' about therapy. She asked me... she asked when the last date I had was... or when was the last time just thinkin' about hittin' the sheets with somebody didn't tie my stomach in knots. For a split second, I hated her so bad... 'cause I knew she was right."

"Nick..."

"No. If we can't get beyond what happened, what we feel won't matter a damn, Greggo. I'll never be able to touch you... not like I want to, an' there's a real good chance I'm gonna puke if you try to get near me with... that on your mind. If Cynthia doesn't help us... there might never be an 'us'."

Greg roughly swiped tears from his face.

"You trust her?"

"With my soul... and my secrets."

"That's the important part... Okay. I'll give it a shot."

"Thanks man. We're doin' the right thing... I think."

Greg laughed.

"Well, as long as you're sure."

Nick pushed Greg's head sideways gently and chuckled too.

"What're you in the mood for, hmm? We got egg salad, ham salad, tuna..."

"A burger with everything. And fries."

Nick looked at him sternly. "Ham salad." Greg decided, his desperation to return to a normal routine expanding a notch or two.

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DOCTOR'S OFFICE: HALF AN HOUR LATER

"You can relax, Mr. Grissom. There's no bad news, I promise you that. Please, have a seat."

Gil claimed the chair across from the doctor's desk, but his tension refused to leave him despite the man's reassurances.

"So... everything's fine."

"For your age group, you're in wonderful shape. We'll have to wait a few days for the results of one or two tests, but I saw no signs of infection or STD's and your function tests were encouraging."

"Encouraging..."

"You're not twenty-one anymore. Most of us will reach a point where medication is either an option or a necessity, but you're not there yet."

"No little blue pills, then?"

"Not for several more years. According to your records and what you told me you maintain a fairly healthy diet and an exercise regimen and you don't smoke or drink to excess. As long as you keep that up, I see no major obstacles to your... getting back in the game, so to speak. I can't measure the emotional factors that can affect sexual performance, of course. My recommendation would be to set up a counseling session or two with someone you trust, just to work through the questions and fears I can't cover."

"That's... a good idea."

"But?"

"Excuse me?"

"I heard an unspoken 'but' on the end of that sentence."

"There was a reason I didn't speak it."

"Understood. Officially backing off."

"I appreciate that."

"A friendly ear really couldn't hurt, though. Becoming sexually active again after a long hiatus carries a lot of issues with it."

"Trust me... I know."

"Okay. So the bottom line is, you're healthy and I didn't see any signs of ED. You're clear to re-join the pursuit of happiness, as it were."

"Thank you, doctor." Gil replied, rising to his feet.

"No problem. Glad I could help." The other man said, standing as well and quickly shaking Gil's outstretched hand. "Those test results should be ready in a couple days, but if you have any more questions or there's anything else I can help with..."

"I'll call. Good-bye."

"And good luck, Mr. Grissom."

Once out of the building and in his truck, Gil stared out the windshield for several minutes, thinking deeply and pondering the single question running over and over through his head; one the doctor couldn't help him answer. Finally, he pulled out his cell phone and dialed.

"Hey, Warrick. I... it's Grissom. When you get this... what I mean is I need to... I'd really appreciate your input on... Yeah. Hell, never mind. I'll see you at work tonight. Don't make plans for breakfast after shift."

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TBC...