Author's Note: Once again, I'd like to say a big thanks to everyone who has read/favourited/reviewed my story! I'm always happy to hear suggestions. I have to apologize, as this chapter is a bit short, but I hope you enjoy it anyway!
As always, Transformers belong to Hasbro, not me.
The Cold Light of Day
Goldenwing awoke from a deep recharge cycle somewhat disoriented. Her optics opened and she realized that she was where she had been when she went offline, lying across the chest of the still recharging Starscream with his arms wrapped tightly around her. She laid her head back down for a few moments, her fingers tracing over Starscream's canopy while her mind ran through the events of the previous day. Turning her head so her chin rested upon his canopy she gazed up at him and laughed to herself. There was a boyish charm to Starscream's face and always looked so sure of himself. However Goldenwing knew that a lot of it was a show. Gently she ran her finger along his jaw and sighed. When she had been brought here by force all those weeks ago she couldn't have imagined any of what had befallen her, especially this. Although a part of her was happy about what had happened, there were nagging doubts playing at the back of her mind. After a little while longer she reluctantly extricated herself from Starscream's arms and with a heavy sigh made her way to the lab.
One by one, Starscream could feel his systems starting up, yet he kept his optics shut. As he went over and over the memories of the night before and how exquisite it had all been, a smirk spread across his lips. Slowly, however, the realization came that Goldenwing was no longer in his bed and his smirk soon turned to a scowl. This was something that had never happened to him before. Usually the femmes he bedded begged to stay or he left them once they had slipped into recharge. Starscream always held the upper hand, and he hated when someone got one over on him. As he contemplated it, his annoyance at the situation grew and the scowl became a deep frown. By the time he made his way into the lab he was nearly in a rage, but the sight of her made that ebb away into nothing. He quietly watched her work, her head bent and her fingers working deftly with wiring and small components. Silently he came up behind her and ran his hands over her wings. Goldenwing jumped slightly at his touch and Starscream's scowl was replaced by his trademark smirk as he purred to her.
"I was most upset to not find you beside me when I woke." He continued to tease her wings and could feel her slump slightly. Taking this as an invitation to continue he lightly brushed his lips against her air intakes and he could hear her gasp. "Come back to bed with me, I promise you won't be disappointed."
Goldenwing leaned back against Starscream and closed her optics, fighting against what she was feeling. Part of her wanted to give in to him, yet another part of her knew she shouldn't. Finally her rational side won out and she stood to look at Starscream with a sad smile.
"Starscream, what happened last night…"
"Was incredible." He pulled her close and kissed her. Once again she fought against the desire to just let him lead her back to bed. Instead she managed to break the kiss and pull away from him.
"No, Starscream. It shouldn't have happened. It was a mistake, and I'm sorry that I started it." She looked at the floor in shame. Starscream's optics narrowed and he lifted her chin and studied her face.
"You're lying." A frown once again settled on his face.
A flash of dread went through Goldenwing. He was right, she was lying, but things couldn't continue. She pulled her chin away and took a few steps back.
"There is no point in us pretending that everything is fine and that… that…"
"Go on."
"And that Megatron hasn't ordered my death." Her face fell and her optics turned down to the floor again. Starscream's expression was unreadable as he considered what she had said, the bad thing about it though was she was right. There was very little he could do about the situation and was unsure about how to comfort her. He watched her for a moment and opened his mouth to speak but she beat him to it. Her voice was low and steady, but it sounded forced.
"I suggest we focus on getting the weapon finished. Then we let the chips fall where they may."
Starscream felt something strange in his processor, a pain of some sort, but pushed it aside. He nodded at her, "If that is what you want."
Goldenwing frowned. What she wanted was standing right before her. What she wanted was the thrill and the danger that she had been living with. What she wanted was Starscream, but she knew that she couldn't have him. Instead, she nodded back, "I think that is what is for the best."
He crossed his arms across his chest, "Very well then."
The next few days passed quickly and quietly. Starscream and Goldenwing said very little to one another and what they did say was short and sweet. Goldenwing would secretly watch Starscream when his back was turned and she ached to tell him how she really felt for him. Since telling him that everything had been a mistake his attitude to her had changed. He was now brusque and even harsh with her. He had struck her a couple of times when she hadn't worked fast enough or refused to do something his way. The arrogance that was always there was there ten-fold now. For Starscream, it was now a matter of self-preservation. He had been foolish enough to let his guard down and let her become familiar with him. He berated himself, Megatron's voice ringing in his head, "Weaknesses can be exploited, Starscream." How right he had been. To see the hurt in Goldenwing's optics when he threatened her or mistreated her was not easy to ignore, but it was something he had to do if he were to get through this. Being so close to her was nearly unbearable and had relocated to different quarters until the weapon was finished, allowing Goldenwing to stay where she was. Then the day came that they both had been dreading. The weapon and the shield were complete.
Goldenwing laughed bitterly, "I suppose Megatron needs to be told."
Starscream stared off into nothingness, "Yes, I suppose so. I will go."
He looked at Goldenwing as he left the lab and sighed at the sight of her. Starscream's head bowed as he made his way to see Megatron. He thought of Goldenwing and thought, with a touch of surprise, for one who was going to meet their death soon, she was oddly calm.
