Chapter Twelve: Guilt, Anger, Suspicion, Deceit

"But what happened to her?" Someone demanded, Shaddi had woken up before her eyes were open

"I will not release any information; it is not any of your business!"

"Look we know something's happened to her she never showed up to astronomy last night and Professor Dumbledore gave us that weird warning today at breakfast now you can't expect us not to think she not alright, at least let us look at her." Someone else said. Shaddi opened her eyes to find she was surrounded by screens. And that the hospital wing doors were not in her view. She felt much better than she had the night before.

"I will do no such thing you are all to leave here at once. She will be returning to dinner if she feels up to it." Shaddi recognized that voice, it was Severus'. With much complaining whomever was at the door now left. Severus came around the screen and saw Shaddi sitting up. He swiftly moved over to the bed and sit on the edge of it as he had the night before.

"How do you feel?" He asked looking her in the eyes.

"Better, what was all that about?" She asked

"Oh, just Potter and his posy wondering about you." He said rolling his eyes.

"Ok then so the Headmaster did address the school, right?"

"Yes, at breakfast as he promised."

"Good." At that moment Madam Pomfery came around the curtain and saw Shaddi saw awake.

"Ah How are you feeling?" She asked, but before waiting for any response she started looking over Shaddi where her injuries had been the night before. She pried her mouth open and saw it was fully healed and the color of her skin had returned to normal.

"Alright dear you may leave whenever you feel ready." She said.

"Great I'm ready." Shaddi said getting up. She was still wearing the clothes from the night before. "I think I should fix this." She snatched up her wand and appeared in a fresh set of robes. Then she picked her revolver and stuck it inside her robes where it would be out of sight.

"Well lets be out of here." Severus said. Shaddi nodded and the two left the wing together. Snape kept looking over at Shaddi as if afraid she might collapse.

"Professor Snape I'm fine really." She said He looked almost shocked at her addressing him so formally until he noticed the group of third years coming toward them.

"So what should I do? I mean dinner isn't for another few hours lunch just finished." She said looking at her watch. "Should I go back to Gryffindor tower?" She seemed to be asking him as a teacher and not an old boyfriend.

"Actually if you feel alright about it, I would like to finish our conversation, unless you would rather not." He said looking dejected. Shaddi froze for a moment. She hadn't thought much about that yesterday, what with Jordan showing up and everything.

"Um.. I still haven't had much time to think about it, what with... you know... everything." She said looking up at him. He sighed and nodded.

"I understand. You had a pretty bad night."

"Well I have had better." She said moving past him up the corridor. She wanted to think but wasn't sure it was a good to be alone so she hesitated to go far. It seemed Snape noticed this.

"Do you want to go out onto the grounds; sunlight would be a good thing for you." He looked toward one staircase that led down to the first floor.

"Actually I think the sun would be a good thing lets go." With that they went down the staircase. They exited and walked toward the lake. Shaddi noticed at the Gryffindors were in the greenhouses not far away.

"Harry look." Hermione said pointing toward Shaddi and Snape.

"Shaddi." Ron whispered, "Well she certainly looks alright." He said bitterly. Harry said nothing.

Well I can see why that old bat wouldn't let us in. He thought staring daggers at Snape as he and Shaddi stood on the edge of the lake.

"It seems to me that when every those two have a talk she gets hurt." He finally said aloud.

"What do you mean?" Hermione asked

"Well think about it, that time when he pulled her out of dinner, that night the vampire jumped her. And he had talked her yesterday and then she not only get distracted enough to get beat by her own bludger then something's else happens and she ends up in the hospital wing again. Every time was after she and Snape talked."

"But Harry do you really think he's involved. I mean remember we thought he was trying to kill you before and he was really saving you." She said trying to reason.

"And didn't she say they had been friends at school?" Ron asked

"No she said they were in the same house, she said nothing about friendship." Harry spat sounding as if he would rather die than know they were friends.

"Well if they had been friends it would certainly explain a lot of things." Hermione said

"Like what?" Ron asked

"Well Shaddi seems not to get as much negative attention as the rest of us from Snape, if they had been friends that could account for it."

"But Hermione you must also remember that she very good at potions the way your good at everything." Harry said and he continued to prune his rose bush, which every now and then would shoot out a thorn covered vine and try to kill him.

Shaddi' POV

"Shaddi."

"Yes."

"I was wondering, last night when he caught you in that corridor. What went through your mind?" He wasn't looking at her; he was looking out over the water the sun reflecting off it like some kind of enchantment. She remembered that much.

'This is it I'm going to die.' She blood rising in her mouth, 'Severus, I'm so sorry, Goodbye Severus'

Then the light came.

"Get Minerva"

'Is that him, no! If Jordan's still here, he'll die too.'

"Severus, no you can't be here."

Her whisper soft and raspy, hardly audible

"A lot, went through my mind." She said looking at a frog as sat above the cold water on a rock. I could tell him, but that would be selfish. To put him in danger to try to save what once was. But what if it's still here? She finally decided to say it.

"A lot of it was about you." He looked down at her and saw that same fearless mask she had when he met her at school, the same face she had when she took down the werewolf and the same eyes she had when she stood beside the Dark Lord. Yet he could read it perfectly. She stayed professional about their talk because they were out where they could be seen.

"Really." He turned his gaze back to the water. "Anything particular you're willing to share."

"All I could think of was, what if Jordan was still around? What if he was still there? What if he got to you too?" Her voice had dropped to a whisper even though no one was really around. For a long time they stayed very quiet, so long in fact that the bell rang signaling the end for classes for the day. Seeing as it's was Friday the students had the afternoon off. The trio bolted from the green houses and ran over toward the lake.

"Shaddi!" Hermione yelled as they ran over. She and Ron stopped as they approached but Harry didn't. He hit Shaddi with huge hug nearly knocking her into the freezing lake water.

"Er... Right" She said, it was an awkward situation she wasn't sure if she should hug him or slap him, in the end she just stood there looking shocked, after a moment, during which Severus rolled his eyes.

"Harry let go." Hermione said. "Were so glad you're ok, we thought something horrible might have happened to you." She said as Harry stepped back.

"You are alright, right?" Harry's eyes flashed at Snape, who seemed to be pretending the trio hadn't come over.

"Yes, I'm... I'm fine." She said looking at them with a reassuring smile. They looked doubtful.

"Why weren't you're in class of and the first two meals?" Ron asked, Her quick thinking was going to let her down.

"Something came up." Horrible excuse. She said then thought.

"Well we know you were in the hospital wing, what was it?" Harry demanded looking almost angry between Shaddi and Snape.

"Something that put me in the hospital." She would not break. She would keep up this until they gave up.

"Well what was that something?" Ron asked.

"Miss Ravencroft has been excused from classes today by the Headmaster." Snape said, angry the group Glared at the two of them and left mumbling to themselves.

"Why won't she tell us?" Hermione asked sounding very hurt.

"Because, either she's afraid too or Snape won't let her." Harry said sounding if as killing Snape would solve the world's problems.

"Well we can probably get it out of her at some time later tonight." Ron said thinking tying her up in the common room would work.

"Well I still think Snape is involved." Harry said bitterly as they entered the castle.

She felt horrible, she had shot away the people who had been there for her since she came back. At the moment the seconds lengthened and she felt as if she were standing in a black abyss of guilt. She moved away from Severus. He let her go, she moved into the castle and into the library where she sat down in one of the aisles. She looked around and saw it was the same aisle that she had first kissed Severus in.

"Now I have time to think about it." She whispered to herself. Then got lost in thought, in the end she came up with the most logical decision. However she didn't leave right away she sat reliving that night and the afternoon before over and over. Then she thought about Jordan, his stolen kiss. The vial violation, it angered her to her very core. Then the guilt washed over her again at pushing away her new friends. And just before dinner she stood and went off to the Great Hall to wait for all of them except Jordan whom would not want to see her because she might kill him.