-The next morning, as soon as Anna woke up a little after seven Lucas was waiting for her in the living room. He had barely slept the night before, not that it was unusual for him anyway, he's used to it now, but last night unlike other nights was spent trying to think about what he was going to say to his mom about Anna.
-He opened his arms for her and she willingly went to him and sat on his lap.
-"How did you sleep?" He asked her.
-"Normal." Short, unelaborated answer, that means one thing, she had a nightmare.
-"Sorry Ann!" She hugs him tighter, she knows that he knows and it's reassuring to her.
-"I have something to talk to you about." He starts nervously and she picks up on it because she looks up at him worryingly.
-"Nothing's wrong, don't worry. It's just my mom's coming to visit today, so you're going to meet her. How do you feel about that?"
-She thought about it for a few seconds. "Is she going to like me?" She asked quietly.
-"You're her granddaughter, of course she's going to like you. She might be a little surprise at first, but she'll love you." He kissed her nose as she was once again deep in thought.
-"I have a grandma?"
-"Yup, and you know what, she's going to love you." He said tickling her and making her laugh as he carried her into the kitchen.
-"So, are you okay with you're grandma coming to visit?" He asked a few minutes afterward as Anna is eating her cereals and he's drinking coffee.
-She nods timidly.
-"Good. You'll see it's going to be fine." He said as much to reassure himself as to reassure her.
-Anna is dressed and playing in her room when the doorbell rings at 10 on the dot. Lucas had made sure to look irreproachable when he got ready. He wanted to avoid her prying into his feelings as much as possible and looking like he was fine was one step in that direction. Not that he really believed it was going to work anyway, his mom would see how bad he was really feeling the moment she laid eyes on him it was unavoidable, but he could give it a try anyway, just in case it actually worked.
-He moved in to open the door with a feeling of doom at the bottom of his stomach. "Here we go!" He thought as he turned the handle.
-His mom scanned him up and down a few times before she spoke.
"You look horrible." She moved to hug him and Lucas reciprocated the hug.
-"Thanks mom." Sarcastic
-"What happened Luke?" She asked concerned evident in her voice.
-"Come on in, I'll tell you everything." He said with a fake assured tone.
-As she looks around his apartment, he knows she must have noticed the toys and drawings that are scattered around but if she finds it suspicious she doesn't say anything.
-They sit on the couch and she finally brings up what's bringing her here in the first place.
-"Why have you been avoiding us Luke, what's wrong?"
-He stands up.
-"Luke, you said…"
-"Just follow me." He says as he starts walking in the direction of Anna's room. His mom follows him without a word. He figured why tell her when he could very well show her.
-He opens the door and walks in followed by a very shocked Karen. If he hadn't been so nervous about what he was about to do, he might have actually laughed at the expression on her face. It was the last thing that she had expected to see, he knows it.
-"Mom, Anna. Anna this is you're grandma Karen." He makes the introduction in the steadiest voice he has and watches as his mom's eyes go from him to Anna over and over again before settling back on him.
-"I'll explain everything." He mouth as Anna timidly makes her way toward them. When she reaches them, she hides behind Lucas' legs. He turns back to face her. "It's okay Ann you don't have to be scared."
-Karen who has finally found her ability to speak after the shock jumps in. "Very glad to meet you Anna." She says extending her hand to the little girl.
-Anna keeps an eye on her and one on Lucas as she slowly shakes her hand before running back to play with her toys.
-Lucas looks from his mom to Anna and then speak.
-"We'll be in the kitchen." He tells Anna knowing that she probably needs her space to warm up to the idea of Karen's presence.
-She nods and Lucas guides Karen out of the room closing the door behind him. He knows her eyes are on him as they make their way to the kitchen but he is determined to take every seconds he has. He doesn't open his mouth until they are both seated in the kitchen with a cup of coffee.
-"Why is there a little girl living in your apartment Luke and who is the mother?" His mom asks, no longer able to wait for her son to explain what the hell is going on here.
-"Did you look at her? I think the answer to the second question is pretty evident."
-She thinks about it for a few seconds and then it comes to her. "Peyton."
-He can only nod.
-"Is she yours?" He had expected this one, he already has an answer all prepared up.
-"Not genetically no, but she's my daughter." He says with all the strength he has.
-"What, Peyton just dropped by for a visit, left you her daughter and then left herself is that why she's staying here." His mom ask with more reproach in her tone than Lucas can take.
-Suddenly, the words that have been hanging in his throat for what seeems like forever are out of his mouth.
-"She's dead." He had finally said it, it was barely above a whisper but he had said it and his mother had heard him loud and clear.
-"What?" Shock laced through her voice.
-"You heard me." He can't say it again, if he does he's going to break down.
-"Luke, I…" He interrupts her. He know what she's about to say and he doesn't want to hear it. Doesn't want to hear her tell him how sorry she is, he doesn't care.
-"Don't." The tears in his eyes are warning enough. She doesn't move an inch until she sees that he has recomposed himself.
-"When? How?" Tears are starting to fall from her own eyes now, she loved that girl. Peyton had always been kind of like a daughter to her.
-"About 5 1/2 months ago. 162 days. In a plane crash." He can't form full sentences right now, it's above his strength.
-Realization dawns on his mother's face as she remembers the news coverage about the crash. She reaches for Lucas' hand but he pulls it back not wanting her comfort. She does the only thing that she can think of right now, she asks the last question her brain can come up with.
-"And Anna?"
-Lucas looks up at her for the first time since telling her the news and the pain is even more evident in his eyes now that it was when he had opened the door. Her son his broken.
-"I didn't even know she existed until the woman from social services told me that Peyton had died and that I was Anna's legal guardian. I flew to L.A. and I brought her back." Again he keeps to fact, nothing more nothing less, that's the only thing keeping him together.
-"Luke, you should have…" Tears are streaming down her face has she can only imagine the pain her son has been in for the last 5 months, a pain that he refused to share with anybody.
-"I couldn't mom, I still can't. And Anna, she needed to adjust, she didn't need a bunch of people breathing down her neck." He's harsh, he knows it but he can't help it, it was the truth. If they had known, they would have wanted to help and they would only have made everything worst.
-"Luke…" She stops then starts again. "How are you, both of you?"
-"We're fine." Short, distant, his trademark answer for anybody who isn't Anna.
-"Luke!" She knows he's lying.
-"We're dealing mom." She's knows he's not dealing, he's doing the opposite of dealing but she doesn't bring it up, it wouldn't help at the moment.
-"So the reason why you've been avoiding us…"
-"Neither of us could have handled it."
-She ponders that for a few minutes before speaking again. "But now?"
-"What now?" He's utterly confused.
-"Now what are you going to do?" She elaborates.
-"Nothing."
-"Luke."
-"The only reason I'm telling you about her mom is so we won't be ambushed on Thanksgiving, that's all."
-"But now that I know, why not come down to Tree Hill to celebrate with us. You could both probably use…"
-"We're not celebrating it and we're certainly not going to Tree Hill and please don't tell anybody, please, not yet." He's pleading and her heart aches.
-"Lucas, it's Thanksgiving you can't just…"
-"WHAT ARE WE SUPPOSE TO GIVE THANKS FOR MOM? PEYTON'S DEAD, SHE'S DEAD AND SHE'S NOT COMING BACK."
-Karen visibly cringed at the outburst. Her son had never been one to yell, he was always controlled, but now, he had gone from normal to furious, faster than she had ever thought possible and now angry tears were streaming down his eyes.
-He angrily rubbed them off with his sleeve as Karen was more than surprised to find Anna coming into the kitchen and wordlessly climbing on Lucas who held onto her for dear life.
-She watched as the two of them simply held each other for a long time, obviously it was something that they were used to doing because both of them seemed completely comfortable in the embrace.
-Anna was the first one to speak, a few minutes later when Lucas pulled back a little to look at her, but the words that came out of her mouth were the last ones that Karen had expected.
-"I'm hungry daddy can I have a snack?" She asked Lucas tears still on her face.
-Karen had expected to hear her ask about his outburts, ask if he was okay, anything of this nature, but the little girl was talking about food, obviously pretending that nothing had happened.
-Karen watched as he smiled down at her and for the first time since Karen had come into the apartment, it was a real smile, small but real.
-"Sure thing Ann." He stood up with Anna still in his arms and he went to the fridge, took out an apple and handed it to the little girl who took it eagerly before looking back at Karen for the first time since she had came into the kitchen.
-"You want one too Grandma?"
