A/N: Thank you so much everyone for your reviews! Thank you so much, pookieh, for your fantastic beta work, even when I send you the wrong document. Thank you, soamazinghere, for being a speed reader and a great prereader! Ladies, thank you for receiving my inappropriate asks *smh*.

So I really feel that I should warn you all by saying this: I have been having a MEAN case of writer's block lately. My real life has kicked into high gear and I've had a lot of things to deal with, which means that I have not had very much time to devote to writing. While I know where Chapter 12 and the epilogue are going, unfortunately, neither of them are written yet, which means that it may be another week or so before I update again. I'm sorry to have to do this at the end, but I REALLY want to make sure that HFT finishes the way I want it to. I could force myself to write, but I really don't think it's fair to just throw an ending out there just to say that I finished "on time". It's not fair to the story, it's not fair to me, and it's not fair to all of you. So until I (and pookieh and soamazinghere) are happy with the story, I will not update a new chapter, and I won't apologize for that. If you want updates on how things are going, come hang out with me on tumblr at english1823.

With that, I hope you all enjoy this extra long chapter of HFT!

I do not own the Hunger Games trilogy.


"Finally, Miss Everdeen, tell us, why would you like to continue your studies in Environmental Sciences? Where does your passion come from?"

I sitting in a small office in Reeves Hall, and a desk separates myself from Professors Leeg and Mitchell. A glance at the clock on the wall to my left tells me that my interview for the graduate program at the University of Panem has been going on for about forty-five minutes. I take a deep breath as I smooth my sweaty palms on my skirt. "When I first came to U of P, I had no idea what I really wanted to do with myself, I just knew that I wanted to go to college." I take a shaky breath and try to calm myself down before I continue. "Once I started taking biology courses, then environmental science courses, I just knew, this is what I'm supposed to do with my life. I've always had a deep connection to nature, but being able to really study it, to learn how and why different plants grow, how they affect the world around us. People go for walks outside every day, but they never really realize what they're looking at, you know? They don't understand that the plant to their left is poisonous, but the plant to their right can be used to treat headaches. I want to discover the world around me; I want to understand what it's all about, because when I can do all that, I can help everyone around me know their world a little better too."

I know my voice is shaky, but I'm trying so hard to communicate how much I want this position on the graduate research team. "I've loved the time I've been able to spend in the lab, but I know that I'm not through there yet. There's a lot more for me to do."

Professor Leeg gives me a soft smile as Professor Mitchell finishes writing his notes down on the clipboard in front of them. When he finishes, he leans in to whisper in Professor Leeg's ear. She gives a small nod, and they both put their clipboards down. "Well done, Miss Everdeen," Professor Mitchell praises. "I must say, I've seen the work you've done in our labs and I'm quite impressed. You have glowing letters of recommendation from Professor Beetee and your boss at the Panem Lodge, Mrs. Paylor."

I glance at them hopefully, unsure of what to say. Professor Leeg saves me by saying, "Professor Mitchell and I both agree, we think that you'll be a wonderful addition to our graduate program here at U of P, if you would like to accept."

Oh. My. God. On the inside I imagine myself squealing and doing the cabbage patch, but on the outside I smile broadly at the two of them and shake the hands that are extended to me. "Thank you so much, Professors, this means the world to me."

"I take that as a yes?" Professor Mitchell asks with twinkling eyes. "Now, let's go over the two year program."

An hour later I'm practically skipping on my walk back to my apartment. I'm sure I look like an idiot, but anyone who judges me can go screw themselves, because I'm officially a graduate student now. This is one of the best moments of my life, and I know that I have to share my good news with someone, so I call the one person that I want next to me now that my dream has come true. The phone rings for a moment before he picks up.

"Katniss! How'd the interview go?"

"Peeta! It was so wonderful, they offered me admission on the spot!"

I hear whooping on his end of the line and I can't help but giggle at him. "Aw, Kat, I knew you'd get in, I'm so glad you applied!" he responds enthusiastically.

"I never would've done it without you, Peeta." And I wouldn't have. A month ago graduate school seemed like something I would never be able to do, but Peeta had confidence in me even when I didn't. I called him as soon as I read the email inviting me to interview with Professors Leeg and Mitchell, and while I know he was confused and hurt about my earlier behavior, he pushed it aside this week so that he could help me prepare for my interview. When I wasn't in the lab doing extra hours, Peeta had come over to help me get ready, even if I only had an hour to spare for him. "I don't deserve you," I say and I mean it so genuinely that I feel myself tearing up.

"Stop that, right now! You are wonderful and you deserve this happy moment. Do you want to come over to celebrate tonight? I'll make dinner."

My heart drops. "I told Professor Beetee that I'd stay late tonight to make up for getting time off this morning to get ready for my interview. I won't be finished until really late."

Peeta's silent and I know he's taking this as a brush off, considering how distant I've been ever since I had my epiphany about my feelings for him. Between that, working in the lab, and the time I've spent getting ready for my interview, Peeta and I haven't had more than an hour of alone time together since the night with the fire alarm. "Oh, okay. Well, maybe some other time."

"No, Peeta, I'll come over tonight after dinner. I really want to see you. I don't want to spend tonight with anyone but you."

He's silent again. It's strange for him to be the silent one and to have me be the one doing all the talking. "Okay, text me when you're on your way."

"Okay. I'll see you tonight."

"Sounds good." I'm about to hang up when I hear him add, "I'm so proud of you, Kat."

His words and the sincerity in his voices melts my heart, making me feel guilty for turning down dinner in one fell swoop.

"Thanks, Peet. For everything."

/BREAK/

I feel like I should be floating on air. I'm about to graduate from college, I was just accepted into graduate school, and I have an amazing boyfriend. An amazing boyfriend that I've been avoiding, because of my simultaneous irritation at his previous behavior and my newfound understanding of my love for him that has sent me running for the hills. My parents' relationship – the one that was supposed to inspire me - ended with a dead husband and an emotionally distant wife, so forgive me if I'm a little hesitant to do anything that may lead me to follow in their footsteps.

At least, that's how I've felt for the past week. Maybe I'm not ready to admit my feelings to Peeta quite yet, but I am ready to confront him about his earlier behavior. Before I know it, I'm wrapping things up in the lab and it's finally time for me to leave and see Peeta.

I decide to just take a long walk across campus to Peeta's apartment, hoping that the fresh air will help brace me for my confrontation with Peeta. All too soon, I'm knocking on his front door. It swings open and the moment Peeta sees me, he scoops me up in his arms. "I'm so proud of you!"

I can't help but laugh at him as I swat at his back. "Thank you! Now put me down!"

Peeta laughs with me as he closes the door behind us and leads me into his bedroom. He sits at his desk while I kick off my shoes and get comfortable on his bed. Peeta looks at me expectantly. "Well? Tell me everything."

He is so unbelievable. Peeta could have started off by asking me about why I've been a distant bitch all week, but no, he wants to sit down and share in my happiness with me. Wanting to enjoy this moment with him, I launch into my story about my interview, what questions were asked, and how I answered them. When I get to the part about being offered admission on the spot, Peeta does a happy dance in his chair. "Oh, Katniss, I'm so happy for you."

I get up and move to stand in between his legs. Placing my hands on his shoulders, I say, "I never would have done any of this without your encouragement, you know that right?"

Peeta leans up to give me a short, soft kiss. "I'm so proud of you, Kat. I knew you could do this."

I sigh heavily and shake out my arms. "It just feels so good to have everything done with, you know?" I lean my hip against his desk. "I never thought that I would get accepted to graduate school, so I never let myself consider it to be a possibility."

"Why not?"

In an attempt to seem casual, I awkwardly shrug my shoulders, but fail miserably. "It's expensive. Plus, what if Professor Beetee didn't like my work as much as I thought he did? What if I got rejected by the department, how horrible would that feel?"

Peeta leans forward and rubs his hands up and down my arms soothingly. "You'll work, and whatever you can't pay for right away you'll get loans and grants for. And given the responses your Professors gave you today, I don't think you have to worry about anyone not liking you."

I give him a small smile. "Thanks, Peeta." His eyes crinkle when he smiles at me. "I'm just so happy to have this whole interview process over and done with."

"Yeah, I bet it'll be nice not having to stress about that anymore."

I nod my head. "Mmmhmm."

He reclines back in his chair and gives me an appraising look for a moment before speaking up. "So, are you going to tell me why you've been avoiding me this week? We spent three weeks apart talking about how we couldn't wait to see each other, and then I finally get back and we've barely spent any time together. What gives?"

Well, shit. I bite my lip. "Um…well, it's just been a crazy week…" I trail off.

"Bullshit," he promptly responds. "Try again."

I twist my hands together and step out from the spot between his legs. "Peeta, do you remember when my alarm went off Tuesday morning?"

Peeta gets a confused look on his face as he thinks. "Um, vaguely? I think I got irritated with you, didn't I?"

He doesn't even remember. "You told me that I don't listen to a word you say. You made me feel stupid for forgetting your schedule and like a bitchy girlfriend who never listens to you."

Peeta stares at me in disbelief. "Katniss, are you serious? Is that why you've been so weird and distant this past week?" Peeta asks incredulously, pulling on his hair in frustration. "What are you, five?"

"No!" I shout angrily as my hands shoot to my hips. "And don't you dare suggest that I'm PMS-ing, because I'm not." I huff and some wisps of hair that have fallen into my face rise in the air with my breath. "Peeta, I'm trying to be honest with you. I'm trying to tell you how I feel but you're making me feel like shit for it."

"Really? Because you've made me feel like shit all week. Taking forever to respond to my texts; giving me short, clipped answers; not making any time for me," he trails off and I can see the hurt hiding behind the anger in his eyes. "For what it's worth, I'm sorry I snapped at you, I really didn't mean it. You listen to me better than anyone else does and I shouldn't have said that to you."

I've spent days wanting him to apologize and now that he has, it doesn't provide me any relief. Instead, I feel like absolute shit. "Thank you," I respond quietly.

"But Katniss, your irritation with me doesn't just give you the right to run and hide from me. For what it's worth, I found your attitude this week irritating, too, but did I ignore your texts? No. I made you cheese buns and helped you with your interview, because that's what people in relationships do, Katniss. They help each other. That's what you and I do, we help each other."

His words hit me like a punch to the gut. I feel defensive and angry; my avoidance of Peeta was largely in part due to the fact that I had a mini meltdown when I figured out I was in love with him, but I can't tell him that yet. Instead, I get snappy. "Yes, Peeta, you are easily the better one in this little duo."

Peeta rises out of his chair and quickly stands so that we're nose to nose. He's breathing heavily as he says, "Are you fucking kidding me? First of all, that's not true. I don't know why you would even say that. That's not what this is about, Katniss. Tell me the truth, why were you acting so weird this week?"

"It's complicated." I avoid his eyes. "I don't want to talk about it right now."

Peeta nods his head curtly and takes a step back. We're both silent for a moment before he says, "Look, it's been a really busy week for both of us. Why don't we just go to bed and we can talk about this in the morning."

He still seems pretty irritated with me, but I know that if I leave right now, I will only exacerbate the issue and prove all of the points he just made about me avoiding him and running away. "Fine," I say grudgingly.

Peeta doesn't look at me as he changes into a t-shirt and some sweatpants. Wordlessly, he tosses me a pair of his sweats and a shirt for me to wear as well. I give him a tight smile in thanks as I whip off my shirt and bra right in front of him. He looks away.

This hurts me more than I would have expected and I turn around to blink back the threatening tears while I change. When I'm done, Peeta turns off the light and I open his window just a crack, knowing he sleeps better that way. We slide into bed and Peeta immediately lies down with his back to me. I lean against the headboard and close my eyes. I feel like crying. He won't look at me, won't touch me. Ordinarily I think it would be safe to assume that in a fight between the two of us, I would be the one at fault, but I still think he's the one who started it all. I just want everything to be back to normal, like it was before we left for Christmas Break.

I exhale and open my eyes. The thing is, it doesn't really matter who's right and who's wrong, the point is that I made the person I'm in love with feel like shit. And he deserves a lot better than me. Why did I push him so much tonight? Why couldn't I just be honest with him? Because it's easier to be mad than it is to be afraid of my own feelings. I'm still afraid to tell Peeta how I really feel, afraid of having this blow up in my face.

I turn and look at his sleeping form. He has the blankets pulled up to his ears, making him look small and childlike in his bed. Even though we're still in the midst of a fight, I find it endearing and sweet. His shoulders are scrunched up to his ears, his tension evident even while he's sleeping. I hate that it's because of me. Gently, I lean forward and stroke his hair. He stirs a little, but sighs as he snuggles deeper into his pillow.

I come to an abrupt realization. As afraid as I am, nothing is worth making Peeta go to bed feeling angry and unloved. Peeta, who is the most caring and loving person I know, deserves to know how I feel, deserves to know how loved he truly is. I know I've been unfair and that he deserves someone who will shout from the rooftops that they love him, but I don't think I'm much up for shouting right now. But maybe I'm up for whispering.

"Peeta?" I whisper as I nudge him. When he doesn't move, I nudge him again, and whisper his name again, louder this time. "Peeta!" He groans as I crawl over to his side of the bed to hover over him. He reaches over to turn on the bedside light and begins to sit up, clearly annoyed at being woken up. I adjust myself so that I'm straddling his lap.

"What, Katniss? What are you doing?"

I rub my hands up and down his arms as I take a deep breath, steeling myself for what I'm about to say. Looking up and into his eyes, I see his eyebrows rise expectantly. "Peeta, I'm sorry," I burst out. His eyes widen as he leans his head back in surprise. "I mean, yeah, your comment did really hurt my feelings and it bugged me for a long while afterwards, but I shouldn't have treated you the way I did this week. Especially when you took the time to help me get ready for my interview; an interview I wouldn't even have gone on if it wasn't for you."

Impulsively, I lean in and kiss him. Before he has a chance to process what I've just said and kiss me back, I pull away from him. I brush his hair out of his face and bracket his face between my hands. "Peeta, I am so completely and utterly in love with you. I realized it a couple of days ago and it scared the shit out of me, but I don't care, because I just want you to know. I'm sorry I was mean and distant. I-"

Peeta cuts me off. "Wait, that's why you've been bat-shit crazy this week?"

Okay, not the reaction I was hoping for. "Yes. I was scared of loving someone as much as I love you, but I don't want to be scared anymore. I just want to be with you. I want it to be me and you, always."

Peeta's mouth hangs open. He seems to notice this and closes it with a little shake of his head. "So, you're in love with me?"

"Yes."

"You, Katniss, love me, Peeta…"

"Yes." I pause for a moment. "Now might be a good time to tell me how you feel."

Peeta gives me the most breathtaking smile I've ever seen; his whole face lights up, he seems to be radiating joy. Out of nowhere, he flips me onto my back and I squeal while he settles himself in between my legs. He peppers my face with kisses as I giggle. He leans back a little so I can look him in the eye. "I love you." He leans back down and places a kiss on my brow. "I love you." A kiss on my nose. "I love you." A kiss to my lips.

I'm beaming before he leans back in and kisses me deeply and passionately, holding me close to him. I know that I have never been so happy in my entire life and the tension from before melts away. We stay like that, just kissing, my body cradling his, but we're in no rush. We have all the time in the world. His hips roll into mine and we both know where this is going, where it was always meant to be.

At some point he reaches over and turns off the lamp. The curtains in his room are drawn back, allowing the moonlight to shine in, illuminating Peeta's body on top of mine. All I can hear are the sounds of our kisses, our heavy breaths in the air. Peeta leans back and takes his shirt off, his gaze smoldering into mine, and I lick my lips in anticipation. He comes back to me, running kisses up and down my neck and latching onto the spot that he knows will make me keen and moan his name. He wraps me in his arms and crushes my body to his, holding me tight, and I feel so content just being in his arms.

I feel a faint smile on my neck as Peeta's arms shift so his hand can inch my shirt up over my stomach and I push him back a little so I can take it off and toss it onto the floor next to his. We share a smile before his lips latch back onto mine. My hands tangle in his hair as his move to cup my breasts and I sigh into his mouth.

The oversized sweatpants that I'm wearing tangle up in my legs, so I try to shimmy out of them. Sensing my difficulty, Peeta breaks away to help me, tugging both the pants and my underwear down my legs. When they're off we share a long look before he leans back in to kiss me, but I stop him. "Yours too," I whisper breathlessly.

I see surprise flash in Peeta's eyes, before they darken. He nods his head as he pushes his pants and boxers off his hips. Once they're off and he throws them on the floor, he turns to look at me. I lean in and kiss him before flipping him onto his back with a groan. We've never been naked together at the same time and I relish the feeling of the skin of his hips rubbing against mine. Straddling one of his legs, I begin to kiss a trail down his jaw to the sensitive spot behind his ear. Peeta pants my name as he reaches both hands up to cup my ass, pressing me against him.

As much as I enjoy just lying here kissing him, I want more of him. I make my way down his chest, kissing as much of him as I can. Every inch, every muscle. When I reach his hardness, I lightly kiss the tip before flattening my tongue and licking his shaft. Peeta moans my name as his fingers thread into my hair, his nails lightly scraping my scalp. I take him into my mouth and begin to slowly bob my head up and down. Looking up, I find Peeta staring back at me, his eyes dark and full of lust. Humming around him causes his head slam back down onto the pillow behind him. Before I can increase my speed, he grips my arms and gently pulls me away with an apologetic smile. "Too much?" I ask.

"Just way too good." Peeta begins to scoot down the bed a bit and I give him a curious look. When he's settled in the middle of the bed, he says, "Get on all fours and crawl up my body. I'll tell you when to stop."

Confused, yet intrigued, I give him a quick kiss as I slowly make my way to the head of the bed. When my hips reach his head, he gently stops me and pulls me down to him so that my pelvis is just above his face. I glance down at him and he gives me a wicked grin before his fingers part my folds and he begins to lick my center.

"God, Peeta!" I cry out. In response, he licks his way up to my clit before sucking it into his mouth. My arms almost give out, but I manage to hold myself up, unwilling to move away from his mouth. We've only done this once before, but this angle feels so incredibly different from the last time. I can't help but grind my hips against his face, trying not to go too hard so I don't smother him.

I'm panting uncontrollably and I'm thankful he can't see my face, which I'm sure looks ridiculous, but I don't care. Peeta's mouth licks and sucks me in a way that I would never have thought possible. "Yes, Peeta, yes, yes, yes," I moan when he begins nibbling on my clit. My hips begin to rock back and forth, but Peeta's hands come up to grab my hips, holding me still against him. When he lightly tugs on my clit with his teeth, my eyes screw shut and I let go with a shriek. My hands fist the sheets as I chant Peeta's name like a mantra. My heart is pumping wildly and my whole body shudders as my orgasm rips through me. Dazed, I roll over until I'm on my back, arms flung over my head, knees bent and spread.

When I open my eyes, I see Peeta sit up and wipe his mouth, looking very pleased with himself. I open my arms to him and he immediately comes in between my legs, his lips meeting mine. His tongue licks at my bottom lip and I allow him entrance, tasting myself in his mouth. He settles in on top of me and when the tip of his erection grazes my wet folds, we simultaneously groan. Peeta breaks the kiss and leans back to look at me, gauging my reaction. In response, I roll my hips up to meet his to encourage him. "Yes, Peeta."

Peeta moans and just before I think he's about to push into me, he quickly pulls away and reaches over to open the drawer to his nightstand. He fishes out a condom and with shaky hands, opens the package. "I bought these when we started hooking up a couple months ago. Just in case," he explains as he pinches the tip and rolls it onto his erection. I nod my head as he settles back between my legs. He reaches down to part my folds and as he slowly pushes into me, my mouth drops open. "I love you, Katniss."

It's a strange feeling, so different from having his fingers or his tongue inside me. Of course, he's much thicker and longer than anything I've ever experienced, but the fullness isn't unwelcome. I feel a pinching sensation, but it isn't wholly unpleasant. When he's fully sheathed within me, we both gasp simultaneously. Peeta leans down and lightly bites my lip. "You feel amazing," he whispers in my ear before capturing my lips in a kiss.

When he pulls his hips back and thrusts into me, I can't help but moan. "Yes, do that again," I pant. Peeta snickers and I roll my hips, changing the angle for both of us and causing Peeta to spew out a string of obscenities.

"Fuck, Katniss," he hisses before thrusting in and out of me again. I'm mesmerized by his strong arms supporting himself as he continues to ease himself in and out of me. I run my hands up and down the planes of his back, the feel of his muscles only serving to make me even wetter. It's as if I can't get enough of him.

We're a little clumsy at first, although Peeta's limited experience does give him an edge in learning how to work together. I lean forward and kiss a trail from his jaw to his neck as he pulls and pushes himself in and out of me. Eventually, we find a sort of rhythm, and I can tell that he's close when his hand snakes down to play with my clit, trying to get me to catch up with him. He's a little distracted and the movement of his fingers is a little off, but his moaning tells me that he's trying to hold back. What he's doing feels amazing and intense, but I know that I won't be able to finish this way. I kiss him softly and murmur against his lips, "I love you, Peeta. It's okay, let go."

He pushes into me a couple more times before reaching his climax. "Oh, God, Katniss," he shouts into the pillow behind me. His body stills and then sags on top of me while I run my hands through his hair and across his back as he comes down from his high. Still a little high strung, I squirm a bit underneath him, my body begging for its own release. Peeta rolls off of my body with a small apology, no doubt thinking that my movements mean I'm uncomfortable with his weight on me. He still looks a little winded, so I decide to take matters into my own hands; literally, as my hand travels down to finish myself off.

It doesn't take me long and when I come down from my climax, I turn my head and find that Peeta has been watching me, breathing heavily and looking at me with lust filled eyes. He leans in and gives me one more kiss. "Wow… that was hot," he breathes against my lips.

I'm still breathing a little heavily myself and I notice a thin sheen of sweat that coats both of our bodies, but I can't find it within myself to care. I roll onto my side and snuggle into Peeta and he reaches down for a blanket and covers us up. I place a kiss to his chest and release a long sigh.

Earlier this evening, I never would have predicted for this to happen, that I would be happier and more satisfied than I ever have before. "I love you," I say as I snuggle deeper into his arms.

He kisses my temple. "I love you, too. So much more than you know."


The next morning I wake up in almost the same position I fell asleep in. Carefully, I extract myself from Peeta's arms and quietly get up, grabbing his shirt to throw on as I make my way to the bathroom. After I finish, I return to Peeta's room to find him sitting up in bed. When he sees me I'm rewarded with a goofy grin as he opens his arms to me. I can't help but giggle as I hurry back to bed and into his waiting arms, snuggling close to him.

Peeta kisses my temple. "Good morning," he mumbles into my hair.

"Morning," I respond quietly. I'm content to just sit here and relax in Peeta's arms, but my stomach rumbles loudly, ruining the moment.

Peeta's body starts shaking with laughter and he actually snorts into my hair. "Ugh, sorry, I think I drooled on you," he chokes out and tries to wipe my hair. I sit up and purse my lips at him, attempting to scowl with a stony face, but not doing a great job at it. I can't help but laugh with him.

"Wow, give you a few orgasms and the scowl just wipes right off your face, doesn't it?"

I pretend to be shocked by his statement and give him a playful shove, which barely manages to move him at all. "How about I bring us breakfast in bed?" he suggests with a chuckle.

My stomach rumbles again. "Yes, please," I respond sheepishly, still a little embarrassed by my weird and ill-timed stomach noises.

Peeta pulls on his pajama pants before heading into the kitchen to find us something to eat. A couple minutes later, he returns with a plate full of donuts and two glasses of milk. "Yesterday I got bored and made these."

My eyes light up. "Yes, yes, yes. Gimme!" I reach out for the biggest donut on the plate and take a huge bite. "This is delicious," I manage to get out, but not without a few crumbs flying out of my mouth.

Peeta grins around his own mouthful and together we finish the plate. When I'm done, Peeta takes my plate and glass, and sets it down on the nightstand next to his own. He gives me a toothy smile and says, "So, last night…"

"Was wonderful?" I supply.

Peeta laughs. "Yes." He leans against the headboard with his legs bent and I move over so that I'm leaning against his knees. He grabs hold of my hand and looks a little nervous. "But I still want to talk to you about something."

This makes me anxious and I bite my lip in response. "Okay."

"Katniss, you… you ran from me. Things got hard and you ran away from me. I just…I need to know that the next time things get difficult that you won't shut me out afterwards."

I spent this whole week focusing on my feelings that I didn't even stop to consider how Peeta must have felt. "Peeta, I'm so sorry, I'm just… I'm not good at talking about how I feel. This whole falling in love thing has been scary for me." My voice drops to a whisper by the end of my statement.

At my admission Peeta crushes me to his chest. "I thought you were breaking up with me," he whispers in my ear.

Startled, I push off his chest. "Wait, what?"

Peeta looks at me with a furrowed brow. "Well, I mean, you were acting so weird, not wanting to be around me, being short with me when we were together… I just thought that maybe… you realized that being with me wasn't all it's cracked up to be, and-"

I cut him off with a kiss. When I pull back he gives a slightly dreamy, but confused look. "What was that for?" he questions.

"Peeta, you're my favorite person in the whole world and I hate that you think so little of yourself. I was too busy being wounded about what you said, then freaking out over my realization that I'm in love with you." I look down, nervously twisting my hair in my fingers. "I hate that I made you feel so insecure in our relationship."

He sits up and turns on the lamp again. "Katniss, it's hard for me to share these things with you because I'm afraid you'll see me for what I really am. All those things my mother would say to me, over and over again. I'm afraid you're going to wake up one day and see me for what I really am, because I know I would hate you for it. I would hate you if you saw me the way my mother sees me, the way that I see me. Because I love you too much… The idea of you really seeing me as lazy or stupid or undesirable is too much for me to handle."

In that moment Peeta looks so incredibly broken. I have never seen him more vulnerable and real before in my life. To confess his deepest fear, that I would see him the way his mother sees him, that he would hate me the way that he can't hate her. Because she's his mother and it's too difficult for him to hate her, but there's a possibly that he ccould hate me.

"But I won't let you," I say suddenly. "I could never see you the way she sees you. The version of you she thinks she sees isn't real, Peeta, it's not real." I grab his hands and entwine my fingers with his. I kiss his knuckles and clutch them close to my chest. "Because I see you, the real you. The way you double knot your shoelaces and never put sugar in your tea. The way you make me cheese buns when I'm stressed or don't feel good. The way you look when you go over your lesson plans. The way you look at me after we kiss. That's the real Peeta, the one that I love."

He lets go of my hands and wraps them around his torso. "Katniss, what if she's right about me? Why would you want to be with me? What am I to you?"

"You're so many wonderful things, Peeta. I wish you could see that about yourself. You're a painter, a baker, a friend, a teacher, a lover, a son, a man. To me, you're perfect. This is the real Peeta, the one that I love."

He still looks skeptical, so I do the only thing I can think of. I lean in and kiss Peeta full on the mouth. His body is tense at first, but then he begins to reciprocate. My hands slide down his arms to entwine our hands once again. Desperate for air, I break our kiss and lean my forehead against his. "Don't let your mother ruin how you feel about our relationship. Don't let her take you from me. "

Peeta looks into my eyes, searching for answers, looking to see if I really mean what I say. His face softens. "No, I don't want her to, I won't let her. I can't let you go." He leans in and kisses me softly. "Stay with me?" he asks.

I know that he still doesn't fully believe that his worth is so much greater than what he's been made to feel, that maybe it'll take years to make him see how special he really is, but I'll be there, he has to know that I'll always be there for him. He has to know that. I'll always be there, no matter what.

"Always."