By the end of her first week as an advisor, trainer, and student Raven was absolutely exhausted. She continued her routine of waking early every morning and knocking on Cullen's door just before dawn. She'd spend that next hour talking, laughing, learning about military strategy, and going over her lesson for the day. She and Cullen were both happy that the recruits behaved after she made an example out of Patrick and Behven on the first day and that they caught on quickly-so quickly that she cut the lesson time down to four hours instead of five so they were always done by midday. Cullen hadn't been exactly happy about it but understood and had a feeling it more had to do with her ability to manage her schedule better than their skill. Training with Leliana's agents-a small group of seven- occurred every other day and the three hours training them was much easier. Like her, they were spies and rogues, not warriors, so it was less physically exhausting and Raven wasn't as sore by the end of it. The true highlight of her day was the cup of hot tea always left waiting on her table when she arrived back in her room. Raven knew it was Cole, but seeing him had grown into a privilege as it seemed he was abiding her request to help others instead of focusing on her own pain. As long as the schedule continued the way it was, she would be okay. As long as she kept herself busy and didn't focus too long or too hard on her own demons she would make it.
Her lessons with Josephine were progressing easily; not only was Raven going over her Thedas reference guides again, but she also took notes each class and would study them in the main hall, seated across the table from Varric as he worked on his next book. Sometimes Dorian even decided to come down from his tiny library alcove and join them when he'd learned the content she was studying. Most of the time he talked with Varric about what the dwarf's latest novel while Raven had her head buried in her own studies, but he turned out to be very knowledgeable and was happy to talk and teach her about Orlesian, Nevarran, and Tevinter customs. He claimed it was to help a pretty girl in need, but she knew all he wanted was to show off. Not that she objected, she loved Dorian. In fact, she loved him so much that she played along as he purposefully spouted incorrect information at a louder than normal volume knowing it irritated Solas to no end.
The second week came easier since she'd gotten used to the pattern and it wasn't until the week was half over and she was awoken by a knock on her door at what had to have been extremely early in the morning that Raven remembered the scheduled trip to Val Royeaux. Involuntarily abandoning her grace she tried to untangle herself from the blanket she was wrapped in but only succeeded rolling out of bed and hitting the wooden floor with a loud thud. It was about ten seconds before she slowly managed to get to her feet, but by the time she steadied herself she heard the door open and on instinct Raven braced herself before looking up to see Cole holding the inside doorknob and Josephine in the doorway already dressed, looking beautiful as usual and completely surprised. Raven didn't blame her, she could only begin to imagine how she looked; she'd forgotten to braid her hair the night before and could already feel how poofy and untamed it was.
"Cole? What are you doing in Raven's room?" Josephine nearly shrieked once she found her voice causing the barely dressed redhead to flinch in her current state. Cole stood back and let his hands drop to his sides.
"So early and awake but not awake. The floor hurt, her hip will bruise. You were growing concerned, worried when you heard her cry out and the thud as she fell out of bed." He rambled as he heard the soft, slow melody of Raven's thoughts and the loud, confused disbelief from Josephine. It was then that Cole looked back at Raven to see her now uncovered by blankets and sitting on the edge of her big bed, legs bracing her arms which held her head. Her long red hair spilled in her face, covering her shoulders and arms, falling down her back to rest on the mattress. Cole had never seen her like that before and he flinched when Josephine slapped his arm. It wasn't hard, it didn't hurt, but it did cause him to look away from his friend. Not appropriate, almost naked. Why is he here? Cole heard the older woman's thoughts and his eyes shot to her only to want to shrink back from her glare.
"While I appreciate you trying to help her, it is inappropriate for you to be in her room at this hour. She's barely dressed," Josephine scolded and Cole looked back at his very tired friend. Tired, but awake. I don't want to be awake. He heard her mumble and then noticed that she was in nothing more than a black pair of very small, very short shorts and an equally small sleeveless black shirt with strange designs on it. Cole didn't understand, he'd seen many wearing less, even some wearing nothing and it was never taken this poorly. The Iron Bull always had women and some men dressed less than his friend and he'd never heard her yell at him. How was it inappropriate, he wondered and dropped his gaze from Raven's form but kept his head in her direction. He remembered the thoughts of the naked and barely dressed people he'd seen before. Hot, needing, wanting, need to be inside, needing him to take me… Cole didn't have those thoughts. Was it because he didn't have those thoughts that somehow made it wrong?
"Josie it's alright. I wasn't feeling well after dinner last night and had a small fever. Cole wanted to help and I asked him to stay in case it got worse. It's my fault." Raven spoke while standing and slowly walking over to grab the discarded soft black pants she'd taken off the night before. Why would she lie for him, Cole wondered and it caused Josephine to glance at Cole, to assure he not even faced the girl as she dressed. Once her pants were on, Raven made quick work of her stretches and the elder woman flinched as she heard the cracking of joints as Raven moved.
"I still say it's inappropriate, but thank you for helping her Cole. She's very important to a lot of people. Raven, I hope you are feeling better, we'll be leaving for Val Royeaux soon," Josephine reminded her and Raven nodded in response as she tried to will her body awake.
"Since we're staying a few days let me pack a quick bag and I'll be right out," she promised and Josephine nodded. With one last wary glance she turned to leave and shut the door behind her. Once Cole was sure she'd gone he was quick to rush to Raven's side as she continued to stand in the same place contemplating what she should bring. He was almost surprised when she didn't object to him leading her to the table where a cup of strong tea and four sugars waited. Still so tired, she didn't tell me how early we'd be leaving. At least it isn't by horse or hart. Cole had to smile, but that went away when she looked up at him through her red hair. She wanted him to help others and not her; was she mad that he'd disobeyed her wish? Part of him wanted to make her forget, but that would just mean he ignored what she wanted twice.
"I'm sorry," he said quickly. "You told me to help other people and I did, I still am, but you needed help, too. Tired, still so tired. Sit and drink your tea. Let me take care of your clothes." He nearly pleaded and Raven couldn't find the strength to argue so she nodded and picked up her hot cup of tea to take a sip. Cole worked quickly in retrieving one of the large bags from under her bed and grabbed all the things he could hear in her thoughts; kindle in the top drawer of her dresser, undergarments, pants, two shirts, two pairs of socks, sweatshirt, the large pink striped shirt from the bottom drawer of her dresser, her coin purse, and then her daggers.
Through his rummaging to find everything he pulled out some clothes he liked and placed it under the other clothes. He'd also grabbed the brush off her dresser and gave it to her. It'd been on her mind and Cole had to flinch as he silently watched her roughly run the brush through her long hair, showing no signs of pain as it went through what few snags and knots there were. He enjoyed the way she took one of the bands wrapped around the brush and wrapped it around her hair letting it remain long instead of bunched against her head. She didn't really care how it looked as long as it was out of her face. Once her hair was taken care of she wasted no time finishing the rest of her tea. She was more awake thanks to the strong herbs and felt much better than before. As a thank you toward the sweet spirit she stood up and, upon realizing he was so close, she wrapped her arms around him in a hug. It was something that seemed natural to give him and he never said anything that showed he didn't want her to. The warmth of her body and mind always caught Cole by surprise the few times she hugged him. She didn't allow the type of warmth flowing through her to be shown to many others; Varric, Dorian, The Iron Bull, and him. Cool composure was reserved for the rest and Cole found himself wondering if he should return the hug like he'd seen Varric happily do or put a hand on her back and smile down at her like The Iron Bull, or briskly kiss both her cheeks like Dorian. She pulled away before he could come to a decision.
"I needed help and you were there. Don't apologize for that. Thank you. You'll be here when I get back?" She asked and he nodded. Raven stared at him a moment longer, searching for his beautiful blue eyes hidden under his hair that seemed pressed in place from his hat. He watched her bring a hand up and trace the hats brim like she had when he let her wear it. "We'll be gone for a few days. Take care of Zevran for me please." He nodded again and she smiled. She moved to grab the bag Cole had packed for her, but the spirit was faster in its retrieval and motioned for her to go ahead of him, which she begrudgingly did. It was still dark as they left her room. Cole closed the door behind them and followed close to her, listening as they made their way to the courtyard. It's still so dark, is this really necessary? I already miss my bed. I wonder if I'll have time to grab something from the kitchens. Cole quietly continued to follow and once they were where they needed to be and Raven was seated quietly on the stone steps with her bag Cole disappeared and then reappeared in the kitchens. The cooks weren't even awake yet and Cole had to wonder what she would like since she just mentioned she was hungry. She liked cheese and fruit; Cole was quick in his movements as he wrapped a pack of different types of cheeses, cubed not sliced, and grapes, a pear, apples, and two oranges for her and prepared a large canteen of water. By the time he appeared in the courtyard again, she was standing with Josephine and Dorian. They had been in mid-conversation, but Raven felt Cole approaching and turned to smile at him like she'd forgotten the presence of others. His eyes held hers from under his hair and hat and she noticed he was carrying a large pack and canteen which he awkwardly held out to her.
"You're hungry. Fruits and cheeses, I hope I got them right," he told her quietly and noticed how Josephine and Dorian were looking at him curiously. No, not just him, they were looking at Raven, too. Awkward, but precious; when had they gotten so close? She gingerly took the items presented and put them into her bag before stepping closer and bringing a hand to his cheek. Before he could stop it Cole flinched even though he didn't mean to and he watched, horrified, as her eyes widened and she brought her hand back and held it against her chest before he could feel it against his skin. Why had that awful place come when she'd been nothing but kind to him? He did it wrong, she was suddenly hurting and it wasn't the kind of hurt that could be brushed aside if he'd give her his hat like before. Cutting, slicing hot and deep, heart suddenly aching. Feeling cold, numb, heart cracking into small pieces. Already he could hear the confusion and hurt coming from her though she kept her face composed. We were fine ten minutes ago, what did I do wrong? You don't flinch away unless you're afraid; is he scared of me? Why does this hurt? She was eager to turn away from him as Josephine touched her bare shoulder.
"The carriage is ready," she said quietly and Cole had to force himself from hearing any more thoughts. Raven's were already so loud.
"Thanks, Josie." Raven replied in the same quiet tone and looked back at Cole, "I- Have a… I'm sor… Thank you. Be safe." She trailed off and stuttered to find the right words, her mind still racing. It was unlike her; she was always sure in her words. She didn't reach out to hug him goodbye like she would've normally done out of the fear of seeing him shrink back again. Was it something she did that caused him to recoil? Raven didn't want to think about it so with one last forced smile she turned away from him and walked with Josephine and Dorian to the carriage just realizing that he, too, looked so suave and perfect for it being so early. It was really unfair.
"Cheer up, Little Bird," Dorian encouraged to her once they were seated in the beautiful and spacious carriage. He noticed from the small window that Cole was no longer in the courtyard but instead was seated on the battlements with his head down, that hideous hat hiding any possibility of seeing an expression. Raven shrugged and stretched, bringing out her now bare feet to rest on the seat across from her, opposite of Josephine. When had she done that, Dorian wondered. He hadn't seen her remove her shoes and part of him was still too tired to care. It was going to be a long ride.
Cole was still seated on the battlements hours later when Cullen had finally come from his office already in full armor and ready to start the day. He would be overseeing the recruits in Raven's absence. At first he didn't see the spirit, his head was down as he read one of Leliana's reports, but when he finally noticed Cole unmoving and staring off into the mountains part of him wasn't surprised. The spirit spent a lot of time on the battlements though it was usually when Raven was teaching the recruits. But she was gone and he was facing the opposite way of the courtyard. He didn't acknowledge Cullen's presence as the Commander stopped and turned, other thoughts were still so loud, and he didn't know what to do. He didn't know how to make it better. Hesitantly, Cullen moved closer.
"Cole, are you alright?" He asked even though he wasn't sure if he wanted to know the answer. He'd heard how the spirit spoke and it was still early.
"Hurts tearing into soft, pale skin like a knife, deep and smooth. Hot, cold, and finally numb. Feeling nauseated from the sudden pain, I can't show them how it hurts. Sealing unshed tears behind closed eyes, focusing on the rhythm of horses hooves against rock and dirt. What did I do? Why is he afraid? You don't flinch away unless you're afraid. I'm sorry. I don't know." Despite Cole's still unmoving position his voice was near frantic and it caught Cullen off guard. What was he talking about? He doubted Varric would be awake so early, maybe Solas? Cullen turned away from the spirit, ready to fetch the elf mage when Cole's voice stopped him. "Solas won't know what to do. He heals, not hurts. She was so angry and sad before. Now she smiles, laughs, enjoys her time with you. How did you make the pain go away?" The spirit asked and Cullen turned back to the small creature now looking at him.
"Are you speaking of Raven?" He asked and Cole nodded so swiftly that it made his hat bounce. Cullen stood confused until it dawned on him that he was speaking of their time at the refugee camp and the harsh words they'd spoken to one another; what had Cole done? Apart from what he'd seen during the fight at Haven the spirit seemed almost harmless and what had he done to make things better? Raven was the one to reconcile.
"She was so angry and hurt. Worthless, doesn't matter, venom intertwined, laced with a deep voice that she'd always liked despite he, himself, being annoying at times. My hat made her feel better, but how did you heal the rest?" The spirit questioned and Cullen found himself moving closer until he was leaning against the battlements next to Cole. How had he? Cullen honestly couldn't recall doing anything.
"Sometimes… Sometimes things happen or are said out of anger or fear that hurt. Sometimes people mean their words one way, but they come out another. That night I never thought of Raven as if she didn't matter. I was in pain, angry, and scared and that's how the words came out. She has a hard time accepting praise and that was something I didn't know. We apologized and agreed to move forward because of her new position." Cullen explained and Cole turned his head to look at the Commander curiously.
"That's it?" Cole asked and Cullen slowly nodded.
"When it comes to friends, loved ones, and people you care about sometimes an apology is all that's needed. If you did something that you feel hurt her, then once she gets back you can apologize," Cullen replied and watched the spirit look away, his fingers started to pick at his gloves again.
"What if it doesn't work?" He asked quietly, "What if she still hurts?"
"It's obvious she cares about you. I wouldn't be too worried." Cole remained silent, still picking at his gloves. She cared about him, but were they friends? He thought of Rhys and Evangeline. They had cared about him to, they were his friends at one point but left once they'd found out what he was. Raven already knew, but what if she left for another reason. What if the hurt was too much? Cole didn't want her to leave. She'd never treated him with caution, anger, distrust, or hate. She trusted him, cared for him, treated him like Cole. He didn't want to lose that.
"Thank you, Cullen."
Raven woke from a restless sleep when the carriage hit a bump. Half dazed and on edge, she looked around only to relax when she saw Dorian seated next to her, his legs crossed, as he conversed with Josephine. It was bright; the sun had risen and reflected off the water of a nearby lake. The stark contrast hurt her eyes. They weren't in the mountains anymore. Both companions stopped talking and looked over at the young girl who was just waking up. Her long hair messy again and her cheeks pale, not to mention she was dressed in just a sleeveless black shirt and black pants. Did she have anything nicer to wear, Dorian wondered.
"Good morning, Little Bird," he greeted cheerfully while using the nickname he'd given her when they'd gotten to Skyhold. He smirked as he watched her cover her mouth to yawn, rub her eyes, and sit up straighter. She looked at him and then Josephine.
"How long have I been asleep and where are we?" She asked and Dorian wasn't surprised. She didn't seem like the type to waste time with small talk, something he appreciated.
"You fell asleep shortly after we left Skyhold. It's been about four hours now and there are probably another three hours before we reach Val Royeaux," Josephine answered. "Before we enter the city, would you happen to have a nicer shirt?" She asked and Dorian was grateful she said something before he had to. Raven looked to them both unsure if she should be offended. She also had no idea; Cole had been the one to pack her bag so she could only imagine what he'd included.
"I don't know. Let me check," she said simply and brought her bare feet down to the floor. Unlike their bags that were currently stored safely in a back compartment she had kept hers within the carriage since it included the food Cole had given to her. Her stomach dropped and she began to feel nauseous all over again, the way he'd flinched away from her. She tried not to think about it, but it wouldn't leave her thoughts. As she looked through her bag she missed Dorian raise an eyebrow.
"Check?" He asked. "How would you not know?" Raven didn't look up at him as she continued to rummage through her large and colorful bag. He watched her take out the package and canteen Cole had given her and all but throw them on the seat next to Josephine then continue to look which proved his suspicions from earlier had been correct: that small scene in the courtyard had bothered her. Finally she pulled out a white lacy shirt and a rather fetching dark blue and gray jacket. Josephine let out a surprised gasp as Raven put the two new articles of clothing on her lap and stripped herself of the black shirt like no one was there, exposing what she figured to be a type of breast binding she used before arriving in Haven. She paid no mind to Josephine's discomfort as she discarded the old shirt into her bag and picked up the white top.
As she moved Dorian noticed the tattoos on her skin. He knew she had more than a fair share but he'd never seen her back in its entirety and didn't know she had more under the shirt. The one that caught his eye, that caused him to reach out and stop her from putting on the soft top, was a design unlike any he'd ever seen; shapes within shapes embedded among black swirls running along her side from her right breast to dipping below where her pants covered. The outlines were black but the coloring was random, sporadic, and bright. It reminded him of painting as a child and the effect of mixing the colors with water. "Just how many do you have, Little Bird?" He asked as he brought his fingers away from her warm skin. She looked down at the tattoo and to Dorian it looked like she was thinking.
"Eleven," she finally said and proceeded to put her shirt on as Dorian and Josephine both gawked at her. "The other two I have to be naked for and neither of you have bought me dinner yet." He let out a laugh and had to admire her even more. When he looked at her again she was redoing her hair, keeping it in a bun while some of the longer pieces fell down and framed her face. When her jacket was on he continued to observe her as she slowly took the package of food she'd gotten from Cole, opened it, and hesitantly picked up a small cube of yellow cheese.
"I understand tattoos can be extremely painful," Josephine said, still in awe that she had eleven of them. Raven popped the piece of cheese in her mouth and enjoyed the salty, creamy taste of cheddar while responding with a shrug. "Is it different where you're from?"
"No, they're still painful, but the level of pain depends on a person's pain tolerance and where the tattoo it is. Also, ink color has a lot to do with as well." She explained and held the large pack of food out to her two companions. "Would you like some?"
"I imagine the one on your side hurt the most." Raven nodded to Josephine's comment and smiled when she reached out and picked up an apple. Dorian chose a pear which was more than fine, Raven preferred grapes and cheese.
"I had to take pain killers through those sessions. The one on my foot and back hurt, too."
"You chose to get them?" Dorian asked and she nodded. "Why?"
"They make me feel pretty," she replied dismissively. "Now enough about me. What's the rundown once we get to Val Royeaux?" As Josephine started to list off the things that needed to be done in the city, Raven was happy for the change in subject and listened intently; unfortunately, it seemed as though once they arrived it would be about her again, because the first thing Josephine listed off was to go to the tailors to get her fitted for at least three dresses. Dorian commented about how lucky she was with pure sarcasm which earned a polite, eloquent insult from the Antivan and that was how it continued. Raven eventually tuned them out, settling for looking out the carriage window at the beautiful green scenery they passed while she casually munched on cheese and grapes. It was going to be a long couple days.
"Please listen to reason, Raven. Camille is the best dressmaker in Val Royeaux, even royalty comes to her first when they need something," Josephine pleaded quietly as she and Dorian followed her through the streets of the capitol. It was beautiful and very big, but Raven wasn't in the mood for sightseeing. Instead, her jaw was clenched as she focused on the pain her nails caused as they dug into the palms of her hands. That woman wasn't coming anywhere near her body, she thought and turned a right at one of the corners thankful her choice in direction and memory were correct. In front of her was a small café and the nice masked Orlesian host was quick to greet her and show the small group to a table in the back where they were quickly served three large glasses and a pitcher of ice water. A waiter had come by not long after to advertise the specials and what Raven considered to be brown nosing the Inquisition before taking their orders. Once they were done being catered to, the conversation continued.
"I don't care if she's the best dressmaker in Val Royeaux. I don't care if she's the best dressmaker in the world. Josie, that bitch called me fat! I'm at least one fifth her size. Shut up, Dorian." Raven snapped quietly when he chuckled. Dorian stared at the small girl who sat next to him quietly fuming; her cheeks had gone red from anger and nearly matched her hair which was now loose and fell over her tattooed arms. When he noticed the bit of blood on her hands he rolled his eyes and let out a small curse in his mother-tongue and pulled her hands from their place on the table. It was true that he didn't know much about healing magic, but the bloody nail marks were light and soon the skin was mended back together and she was dabbing the blood away with a wetted napkin. When she wasn't looking he glanced toward Josephine who seemed to be fretting even more than Raven.
"What are we going to do now? Without Camille…" Josephine trailed off and took a sip of her water. Raven sighed, still furious but also hating that she'd made her friend worry. It wasn't fair.
"I'm sorry, Josephine, but you say you want me to be comfortable? Being insulted won't do that. We can go to another tailor or I have experience making dresses." Both of her friends stared at her as she did her best to offer solutions and she could easily see the disbelief etched in Josephine's features. Dorian opened his mouth as if he were going to say something, and he was going to. He was simply dying to know how someone like her could be trained to make dresses.
"Hello," A quiet voice greeted which brought his attention from his tiny redhead friend over to a tall and thin brown haired woman. Unlike the other Orlesians she wasn't wearing a mask and she was smiling down at them, her brown eyes meeting Raven's. "I apologize for interrupting. I couldn't help but overhear your problem. My name is Delphine, my brother Adrian and I make dresses and we would be honored to have an opportunity to provide for the Inquisition."
Raven stared at the girl, admiring the cornflower blue dress wrapped around her lithe frame. The neckline was a mixture between a scoop and shoulder cut which showed off her collar bones and ruching along the chest and waist gave her curves that she wouldn't have had otherwise. The dress was beautiful and when Josephine didn't say anything, Raven looked at her friends to see them looking back at her expectantly. It was then that Raven realized it was only she being spoken to and looked back at the girl nervously awaiting a reply. "I'm sorry; I didn't know that you were talking to me specifically. How did you know we were part of the Inquisition?" She asked.
"I recognized Lady Montilyet and would have addressed her first, but it seemed like you were the one in distress," Delphine explained and Raven nodded although what she was feeling could hardly be described as distress, just annoyance. Between the comments about her size and the self-righteous attitude it was best for Raven to leave before she buried the knife hidden in her bra into the horrible woman's throat.
"In that case, my name is Raven. The dress you're wearing...did you or your brother make it?" She asked and when Delphine nodded enthusiastically, Raven motioned for her to turn around so she could see the rest. Raven was surprised to see an adorable little bow resting in the small of the girl's back. Satisfied, she turned to Josephine. "I'd like to see what they have to offer. Can we go after lunch?"
"Of course. I'd also like to see what else she and her brother have," Josephine acquiesced, also impressed in the quality of what she'd seen. She would have to feel the fabric and look at it more closely, but it was surely not something to overlook. Raven seemed to be in a better mood and more excited about dress shopping since the young girl approached, which was helpful. Apparently happy with her answer, Raven smiled and looked back to the girl.
"Do you have a business card?" She asked which earned her a confused look, "Something with the name and location of your shop?"
"We're located on the high level above the armor shop. The name Cousland is on a sign over the door." Delphine informed them and Raven felt her eyes widen. Cousland... did they have any relation to the Ferelden noble family? Raven thought back to when she used to play Origins, female rogue Cousland was always her favorite.
"Are you by any chance related to the noble family and Hero of Ferelden?" Dorian asked before Raven could and Delphine eyes brightened as she smiled.
"She's our cousin. We haven't heard anything from her in a while though. Should I tell my brother to be expecting you?" She asked while returning her attention to Raven who nodded as she took a sip of her water. As Delphine turned to leave, Raven spoke up and watched the girl turn around again.
"Would you happen to sell bolts of regular material and thread?" She asked and ignored the curious looks from Dorian and Josephine. Delphine's eyes seemed to light up even more.
"Not many people ask for cloth and sewing supplies, but we do sell them. We'll see you soon," she said happily and left as their food was served. Dorian had ordered something weirdly named with pork and ginger while Josephine in her slight meltdown mode had recommended to Raven a salad with a raspberry balsamic dressing, cranberries, oranges, pecans, and bleu cheese with pecan crusted chicken. The man serving their food wouldn't take his eyes off the young woman as she smiled and politely thanked him. While Raven started to eat Josephine and Dorian still looked at her.
"So why do you want plain fabric?" Josephine asked and Raven stopped cutting into one of the pieces of sliced chicken.
"Is that really what we're going to talk about instead of the waiter fawning over her?" Dorian asked and smiled when she looked up at him from her plate. "Surely you know that with the right smile and touch you could get anything. If you're not familiar with that kind of art yet, I suppose I can teach you. I am the best." As he spoke Raven nearly lost herself in his words. Was he talking about seduction? Knowing him he had to have been and Raven felt heat rise to her cheeks.
"That isn't necessary, but thank you," Raven replied curtly as she looked down and continued cutting her chicken into smaller pieces before drizzling the dressing over her salad and mixing it in. Dorian continued to watch her as if fascinated by her actions. It nearly made her hands shake and he had to wonder if maybe she didn't know the effect she had on others.
"Forgive me if I seem crass, but is this shy virgin role you're playing an act or is it real?" Dorian asked bluntly and he had to look over to Josephine when he heard silverware hit the glass plate and her choke on air. When he was sure she would be okay, he looked at Raven again half expecting her to either glare at him or use the weapon he knew she kept hidden in her clothes. Instead, he was surprised to see her sitting across from him and slowly chewing a bite of her food. It was delicious and she knew she would have to stop by again before leaving. Raven thought about Dorian's question and she wasn't sure how to respond or if she should be offended. Did other people wonder that too or was it just him? It wasn't like she intended to come off as shy, Raven thought she was pretty outspoken when it came to most things.
"Dorian!" Josephine finally managed to gasp out. Raven and Dorian could tell she was going to say more so Raven spoke up before she was able, not that he didn't deserve to be yelled at, she decided. It was an inappropriate question to ask over lunch and in public. With any luck his question probably made Cole being in her room so early that morning seem like less of a big deal.
"I don't understand what you mean," she said and for effect Raven cocked her head to the side. Dorian continued to stare at her.
"I think you do. I think you know the effect you on people. The Commander included. Please don't take it as an insult. It's ver-"
"Wait a minute. What effect?" Raven asked suddenly, not caring that she cut him off. Him bringing up actual people that she knew wasn't what she expected and judging from Dorian's wide eyes and suddenly blank expression he knew he said too much. Oh well, he thought, if the cats out of the bag…
"The way he blushes when you talk to them, continues to look at you as you walk away, smiles when you greet him. Don't tell anyone, but I adore the mushy things," he explained and Raven sat back in her chair, feeling amazed and stupid if what he just said was true. How did she never notice? Perhaps because they were always too busy arguing. "You really didn't know." Dorian guessed though it was more of a statement.
"No, I didn't. I never thought about it, but I don't think me being a virgin has anything to do with it either." She explained calmly. Her mind was racing and she felt jittery. If what he said was true she would have to apologize and put a stop to it. Dorian found himself chuckling at the small girl. He couldn't help it.
"Sex and seduction are sometimes the best tools anyone can have in their arsenal," he explained matter-of-factly. "If you already have men fawning over you with a simple smile, hug, and touch to the arm, then you've got a good start." It was meant to be a compliment, but he nearly felt bad when she wouldn't look him in the eye. Instead, she pushed her barely touched meal away and looked to Josephine who, Dorian noticed, seemed to have done the same thing.
"I'm sorry, but I'm not really hungry anymore. Maybe we can come back another time?" Raven asked and earned a nod from the other woman.
"You never did answer my initial question; why do you want plain fabric?" Josephine asked in a futile attempt to change the subject. Raven sighed in exasperation.
"Some things I prefer to make myself," she replied shortly as she shot him a glance. Maybe it was her mood from earlier, but he was getting to be a bit much and she was really starting to wonder why Josephine brought him along.
