Blair stormed into the Waldorf penthouse with a face like thunder. She trudged up the stairs, got into her room, slammed the door shut and dumped her Miu Miu bag on a chair before collapsing onto her bed in a strop. She let out a loud, animal-like grunt in frustration which caused Dorota, Blair's maid to come running in. "Miss Blair, what happen?"

"Serena happened," she huffed back with her face still in the pillow.

Dorota looked confused but knew well enough to be cautious around an agitated Blair. "What Miss Serena do? I thought you were getting along?"

"Oh, Dorota! Get with the program. I hate Serena, and we need to get her back for the stunt she pulled today." Blair didn't actually have any reason to hate Serena- if anything, Serena should hate her… but her attention-seeking today was kind of annoying, and she needed a viable reason to not be chummy with her and have to face her every day, knowing what she'd been doing with Dan. Dorota didn't know about her affair with Dan and she wasn't about to tell her.

"We?" Dorota had picked up on her inclusion in this take-down.

"Yes, Dorota. We." Blair said, exasperated. "I need you to help me ruin her birthday… it's next Saturday at hers and you can bet it's gonna be a typical tacky Serena van der Woodsen party, so I'm sure she won't mind if we spice it up a bit."

"Miss Blair…" Dorota was worried; Blair was pretty scary when she was scheming and it always ended in tears when it involved Serena. "You and Miss Serena are like sister. You need to stop all this fighting with each other."

"Dorota, Serena needs to be put in her place once and for all. I can't take her bullshit anymore and you're going to help me. I have something that will permanently stop the sun from shining out her ass as of next Saturday night." Blair was deadly serious. She knew deep down that she was in the wrong but her pride was too powerful; she knew that once Serena found out about her and Dan, their friendship would be over anyway, and Blair wasn't about to let Serena be the one to dump her. She'd been holding onto something of Serena's for quite some time now, just in case. It was a highly incriminating tape that she'd managed to acquire. She knew it wasn't very best-friend-like of her to be keeping it but this was the Upper East Side- at the end of the day, it's every man for themselves.

"No, Miss Blair. I will not help you this time. You and Miss Serena need to sort it out. What would Audrey do?" Dorota had a reputation for her loyalty to Blair and all her crazy schemes but she wouldn't comply this time; she pretty much raised Blair single-handedly and she was close with Serena too as she was always at Blair's place, so she couldn't be a part of this. She added her normally-effective one-liner about Audrey- Blair's idol in a last-ditch attempt to get her to change her mind. Dorota would always mention Audrey when Blair was going raging-bull and was lacking in the grace department.

"Fuck Audrey. Audrey never had to deal with this shit. If you won't help me, I guess I'll have to put up with with Kati and Is. Go and get me some macaroons; I can't work on an empty stomach."

Dorota nodded and shuffled off to do as she was told. "Yes, Miss Blair."