Remus stared at the red velvet canopy above him hoping an answer would paint itself before him. It seemed that since he befriended Lily, balancing himself between her and his fellow Maraunders was problematic. The problem really wasn't choosing one over the other for Remus knew that even with the rift between Lily and his friends, he could manage a pleasant friendship with both sides. He thought he had handled things well until recently. The problem, as always, was the image. Sirius was correct about one thing during the ambush in the dorm; a friendship between a boy and a girl certainly had different boundaries. A girl and boy seen together as frequently as Remus and Lily were didn't appear as a platonic friendship to the public eye. Frank Longbottom congratulate Remus numerous times on his new found love. He resorted to a wink and a smirk after Remus hit him with a particularly nasty stinging jinx.

Remus thought he should feel relief now that James, Peter, and Sirius no longer held suspicion about Lily's affections, yet he didn't find any comfort. As much as he tried to convince himself that if the people closest to him knew the truth, no one elses' opinion mattered, a sick feeling or dread coarsed through him and settled in his bones at the realization that he might not have been entirely truthful with his friends, nay himself.

He spent the entire evening huddled in his four-poster of his bed thinking about her and the new problem he faced. He explained his hasty retirement with the excuse that he wasn't feeling too well after the trip to Hogsmeade, which wasn't far from the truth. Though his body cried for sleep, his mind kept him wide awake and in panic.

Why did she kiss me?

Remus relived the moment over and over again, hoping to find an answer shouting out at him, yet he couldn't find it. They spent an afternoon together much like they had many times before, yet something was different. Could the difference been within the environment? Remus assured James as much as his lungs would allow that he was not going on a date with Lily. Perhaps he should have put the same effort in letting Lily know that their outting was strictly as friends and nothing more. However, no matter how many times Remus mentally recounted the events leading up to the afternoon, he couldn't place a single hint to their status without making it seem like he was hopeful for her to disagree.

Maybe she just got carried away. One thing he learned about Lily over the course of their friendship was that she was a sucker for romantics. A day in the village with the crisp air nipping at their cheeks as they roamed from shop to shop swapping interests sounded like something most girls would swoon for. And, much to Remus' dismay, it sounded very much like a first date.

Perhaps kisses meant something different to girls? A definite bond formed between the two Prefects and maybe she just felt comfortable with the gesture. Along with getting a bit carried away, she probably felt the nice way to make him feel better was a simple peck on the cheek. Now that he thought of it, he had been in a right amount of pain when they departed. A friendly, completely platonic, kind gesture for an injured friend. That explained everything.

As much as Remus tried to convince himself of this, he found that his mind was still riddled with doubt and worked endlessly to solve the problem at hand. He didn't have too much time to fret after his friends came stomping up the dormitory stairs. He shut his eyes and pretended to sleep. His body overruled his mind this time, and he drifted off to sleep.

When he woke the next morning, Remus still had no idea how to approach the day He dressed himself and made it to the Entrance Hall with his arm stiff as a rod. James, Sirius, and Peter already found themselves at the table with their mouths stuffed with food. When Remus took his spot, he saw Lily a few tables down , chatting with her friends. He quickly turned his gaze to the empty golden plate before him so he wouldn't meet her gaze.

He wanted to ask someone for advice, but no one came to mind. His brothers were certainly off the list. How could he just casually mention that Lily kissed him on the cheek and ask what it meant without causing a fuss? James would feel betrayal for certain. He wished he could ask Sirius, but Sirius did nothing that James didn't know about. The pair share a brain. Peter wasn't very qualified to give advice considering his experience with girls was even less than Remus'.

He could try to go to the source and ask Lily herself. Though, the more thought he put into it the less courageous he felt. Again, how was he supposed to nonchalantly bring it up without the uncomfortable shift between them. He didn't want her to feel like she did something wrong or that he was repulsed by the action. He just wanted to know if it meant something other than friendship. If the answer was yes, then he would have to discourage her. In the end, Remus decided that asking her directly would somehow convey the wrong message with his luck, and turn it into a bigger deal than it was.

No, Remus needed a female friend who wasn't Lily to discuss these sort of things. Rachel was out of the question considering she and Lily had a connection much like Sirius and James. If Remus asked her anything he was sure it would get back to Lily before he finished his sentence.

The realization of Remus' lack of female connections dawned on him. Girls normally paid attention to James or Sirius, though every once in a while he'd get a "hey", from someone. Most thought he was sickly and broken, and didn't want to catch whatever he had or keep their distance because of the rumors he spread about his ill mother. Nothing chases the women away like a family riddled with illness.

The absurd idea to approach Lyanna popped into his head, but he quickly shoved it aside. It would feel rather rude to speak to her only when he needed her help. Though they did not depart on bad terms, he was unsure of how trustworthy she remained. They were very different people than they were in their third year and he wasn't sure if that was good or bad since he didn't cross her path often. Perhaps one of Lily's other roommates could help him, but he would feel just as awkward asking them as he would Lyanna.

Unfortunately, Rachel seemed to be his only option at the moment. This did not give Remus a sense of security, but he tried to reason with himself that it was either ask her or Lily, or let himself die from over thinking. She was the closest to Lily besides himself as far as he knew and it was the most logical choice. If, as he feared she would, decided to tell Lily of their conversation, he could hope and pray that Lily pretended she never heard it, or thought Rachel was up to more tricks.

Remus was so lost in his thoughts that he hardly noticed that he was staring intently at his empty golden goblet until Sirius kicked him in the shin from across the table.

"Huh?" he gasped, suddenly aware of his surroundings.

Sirius gaped at him. "Are you alright, Moony?"

Remus nodded his head and hastily grabbed some bacon and toast. "Yeah, just thinking."

"What did you and Evans do yesterday?" James questioned, shoveling his own breakfast into his mouth.

Remus had been avoiding this question because he didn't like mentioning Lily in front of James after his slip up with Rory. The day's activities were innocent enough, but Remus thought that James might feel a bit of jealousy if he told him of all the fun he had. It was, after all, a perfect chance for James that Remus happened to steal from him. The smooch that had been the root of his confusion only increased Remus' guilt.

"Picked up a couple of books and she helped me pick out a birthday present for you," he said, gesturing towards Sirius. "Not much really took place. I ended up napping in the book store and then decided to come back. My arm was killing me."

James nodded, seeming satisfied with the afternoon. "Sounds alright. I'm really sorry about your arm, mate."

Remus shrugged his good shoulder and insisted James not fret over it. He felt terrible for not even mentioning the thing that infested his brain, but he couldn't tell James that, not while he was unsure of the meaning. Once things were settled and maybe a few years passed, he would tell him.

The rest of the meal James started pumping himself up for the daily Quidditch practices that were supposed to take place the next fortnight. Unhappy with the results in the match against Slytherin, the Quidditch Captain was ready to train harder than ever to ensure sweet victory for his team.

Remus scanned the room for Lily and Rachel, but he didn't see either of them anymore. He spotted Denise and Shana, their roommates, but the other two were nowhere to be seen. Even after breakfast ended, the two girls didn't turn up. As Remus and his fellow Marauders made their way out of the Great Hall, Remus hung back a little to try to catch Denise.

Without noticing he stopped in front of her, the short-haired blonde walked straight into him, colliding her face with his chest.

"Oh!" she gasped, stepping back. "Oh, I'm sorry, Lupin! I didn't see you," she apologized, wincing and rubbing her round nose.

"That's okay," he said quickly. "I was wondering if you've seen-"

"Lily's with Hagrid trapping Jarvies around the grounds," she smiled brightly.

"-Rachel," he finished, eyeing Denise curiously. "I'm actually looking for Rachel."

Confusion flashed over Denise as her blonde eyebrows knitted together, though she quickly fixed her expression before she answered, "Last I saw her she was fighting to stay in bed. You might want to check the common room or the library?"

"Rachel in the library?" Remus repeated with raised eyebrows.

"Lily caught her copying her homework again," Shana chimed in. "Now Rachel's got to actually do some research."

Remus laughed to himself, picturing Rachel cursing the mass volumes of texts as she scanned through them. He thanked the two Gryffindor girls and set off for the library after he waved James, Peter, and Sirius out of the entrance hall without him.

As he made his way towards the library, Remus tried to think of a way to start the conversation and get to the point quickly without sharing too many details. But what if Rachel knew already? Most likely she did, seeing as girls swap secretes like they breathe air. He couldn't decide if her knowledge of the situation prior to his questioning helped him at all.

Frowning slightly, Remus scanned the library for the long black hair of Rachel Murphy. He heard her swear loudly and decided to follow the sound of the angry buzzing that issued from the students in front of him. Red-faced and hunching over a Transfiguration textbook, Rachel grumbled to herself and paid no mind when Remus sat across from her. Unsure of how to start, Remus stole a glance at the parchment at her side and discovered that she desperately needed help in describing the process and magic behind Doubling Charms.

Remus stared curiously at the quarter written essay with a furrowed brow. "When did McGonagall assign this?"

Sneering at the pages under her intense scrutiny, Rachel replied bitterly, "Last Thursday. Extra homework for talking and allegedly not paying enough attention. Couldn't get my goblet to splice."

Remus leaned against the back of the chair with a soft smirk etching into his features. Truth be told, he was quite good at Transfiguration and judging by the many errors that littered her parchment, Rachel needed a fair share of assistance in that area. An idea popped in his head that made him realize maybe he had been exposed to Sirius a little more than he should. Alas, the trade was perfect. Information for information.

"Tell you what," he began causally. "I'll help you out with that."

Rachel raised her head and narrowed her eyes in suspicion. "What's the price?"

Remus shrugged innocently. "I need your help translating."

"I'm not in Ancient Runes," she snapped, rolling her eyes.

"That's not what I need help with," he countered, leaning forward a little. "If I help you, you'll help me. Deal?"

Eyeing him cautiously, Rachel gave a single nod. Unfortunately, Remus caught sight of the wicked smirk that slid across her lips before he glanced down at her parchment.

"First of all, the copy left by one of the twins is not more powerful than the original. That's why the duplicates diminish faster. The original spell was much more powerful than the copy," he said, tapping the first sentence of her work.

"Right," she nodded, scratching a bold line through the words. "And what is it that you need my help with?"

Casting a cautious look over his shoulder Remus leaned in closer over the table. "It's Lily," he whispered.

Throwing her head back, Rachel began to cackle madly. Remus' face twisted in anger and he urged her through gritted teeth for her to shut her mouth before he got them thrown out of the library while the surrounding aggravated students hissed angrily over their own work.

Gingerly patting her eyes as if to dry tears, Rachel calmed her laughter. "Sorry, Lupin," she said not so sincerely. "I had a feeling you'd find me sooner or later to have this little chat. I just didn't expect it to be so soon."

With his lip caught in a snarl, Remus asked, "So you know?"

"I know what?" she asked, feigning innocence.

"That she kissed me, that's what!" he hissed.

She waved her hand dismissively and scoffed. "Calm down, lad. It was on the cheek. Didn't mean a thing."

"Is that what she said?" he asked quickly.

Rachel grinned broadly. "I'm gonna have to be bought with more than one sentence of help if you want those kind of details."

Realizing what a stupid idea it was to seek Rachel's help, he began to question if he even cared anymore. However, his curiosity got the best of him in the end and he continued to correct her homework.

"If the caster is interrupted, the curse can duplicate for days, even weeks if not corrected," he grumbled. "Now, what did she say about it?"

Rachel bit the inside of her cheek. Remus' stomach turned in knots knowing that she was enjoying this way too much. "She said that yesterday was a good time and she wished you had been in better shape so you could have more time together."

"And?" he encouraged.

"And, does the spell transfer any magical properties of the original object to the duplicate?" she asked, a sick twinkle in her eye flashing at him.

"No, it doesn't," he answered brashly. "She already told me that. I'm talking about the kiss! What did it mean?"

Again, Rachel shrugged her shoulders meekly. "Couldn't tell you. To be honest, I think she's confused herself."

Graoning, Remus slammed his forehead on the tabletop. Landing the exaggerated gesture a little harder than he intended to, he lifted his head and rubbed the ache. "Does she fancy me?"

Rachel gasped and eyed him as if he asked to see her knickers. "That kind of information is off the table! You should know better, Lupin. Code of secrecy? I imagine you and your mates know better than to blab business to anyone who asks?"

Remus slumped his shoulders and sighed. "Alright! But for future reference, I don't fancy her."

Rachel snorted and rolled her eyes. "Yeah, right. That's why your eyes damn near pop out of your skull anytime she bends over. How do explain your late night tea exploits? That afternoon in Hogsmeade alone is a synonym for another date."

"My eyes stay where they're supposed to!" Remus countered, a heat rushing its way to his cheeks as the words left his mouth. "She's my friend. We have late night tea because it makes her feel better at night. As for Hogsmeade, we did nothing outside of the bounds of friendship."

Rachel clicked her tongue and sighed. "They say you're smart but I'm not so sure the more you talk. You think she's pretty."

It wasn't a question and Remus knew he was being lured into a trap. However, if he valued his friendship with Lily, he couldn't have Rachel running to tell her he said she looked like a frog wart. Instead, he told the truth.

"Of course. She's very pretty," he said calmly.

"Beautiful?"

"Yes," he nodded.

"Sexy?" she teased, wiggling her thick eyebrows. Noticing his eyeroll and defeated slouch, Rachel demanded he aid her a little more in her work before she divulged in what Lily thought of him.

"She thinks your handsome," she informed him as she copied his words onto her parchment. "and-what did she say-a kind and intellectual gentleman. I don't think she minded giving you the smooch and to be honest, I don't think you minded either."

"What's that mean?" he sneered.

Rachel slammed down her quill and raised her eyebrows at him. "You think she's pretty, don't you? Who hates being kissed by a pretty girl?"

"I do when my best mate likes her," Remus frowned.

It was Rachel's turn to rub the ache in her forehead. "Don't give me that shite, Lupin. You enjoy the attention you receive from your lady friend and she likes being around you. Who's fault is it that Potter has made sure his name stays on her shit list? Should you be miserable because he has a silly crush that will never ever happen?"

Again, Remus knew he was being lured and decided to stay quiet. 'Yes' would be a stupid answer, but saying no would seem disloyal. Instead, he sighed deeply and gently massaged his closed eyelids with his thumbs.

"Look, it doesn't matter if Potter likes her, she likes you, you like her," she said. "You all coexist as friends, sort of, and nothing has changed. So what if she gave you a peck on the cheek? For some reason she enjoys your annoying silences and between you and me, she needs someone like you to be around. You 're pretty much at level with her when it comes to brains and the both of you enjoy the same boring things. Personally, I think you would make a wonderfully bland couple."

Rachel yanked his wrist away from his face and forced him to look her in the eyes. "She needs you just as much as you need her. If Potter gets butthurt over the fact you've got more of a shot than he does, let him know it's his own damn fault. If he's a true friend, then he won't be angry with you for going after what you want."

Remus desperately wanted to say he didn't want Lily, but he knew that if he forced himself to say it, it would be a lie. He wanted her friendship and couldn't imagine what he would do without her, academically or mentally. Without her help he'd be dead in the water, buried by homework and clueless. She's helped him release a lot of stress and introduced him to many new things and ideas that he found a new appreciation for. The idea of dating her was still out of bounds even if James wasn't a factor and he didn't mind. Complications come with relationships and he ruining what he has with her is the opposite of what he wants.

With his mind made up, Remus sighed heavily and nodded his head. "So, the kiss meant nothing?"

"If that's what you want," she answered honestly. "I'm sure if you tried it could mean something."

Frowning, Remus mumbled, "I'll take it as a 'thanks for the company' gesture."

Rachel rolled her eyes in a way that Remus thought it was surely painful and sighed heavily. "If that's what you want."

Not entirely sure what he wanted now, Remus nodded and slowly stood to his feet. Rachel tried to wiggle more answers out of him as payment for her services, but he paid no mind and left the library with more questions buzzing in his head than when he arrived.


A/N: Finally! Sorry about that, you guys. Hopefully updates will be more frequent because I miss writing this! Hoping to get things really moving, as this was just a filler to bridge my absence. :| Let me know what you guys think! Feedback keeps me inspired!