Disclaimer: Still not my characters. Sigh.
I am so, so sorry that it took so long to get this posted. The holidays were busy, and then I dislocated my knee cap (ouch). While I had plenty of laying around time to write, my Muse decided to take my recovery time off, and I had...nothing. Thanks for all the PM's asking about when the next chapter would be up. Those, and the reviews really made me want to tackle Muse (though my knee prevented that!), and get back to work. Again, I apologize, and hope you like this one.
Someone PM'd me about how dialogue heavy the story is, but I remind you that it is called Truths and CONVERSATIONS, hence all the talking. ;)
This has not been beta'd, so all mistakes are mine, and mine alone.
Reviews much appreciated.
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Jack blinked, trying to process her words. What did she just say? He'd clearly just misheard. Hadn't he? Sam stared at him, her eyes, large and reverent, waiting for his response, and he realized he'd been silent for a long time. "Carter," his voice was soft and think with emotion. "You're gonna have to help me out here, 'cause I-"
"Jack, I love you. I've loved you almost from the moment we met, I think. I've tried to deny it. God knows I have. I tried to keep it in the room too, but it stayed with me. The night you told me how you felt, my first emotion was happiness." She took a steadying breath. He hadn't reacted to her words, other than to stare at her, confusion still evident in his dark eyes. "I'm so sorry for the way I acted. I was confused, and just, well, I don't know, scared. I guess I was hurt, because I thought of all the time we'd wasted keeping it locked away, and because I truly thought you'd stopped caring. If I hurt you too much, and you don't want to give us a chance after the things I said, I-I'll understand, and walk away. I can manage to keep things between us as work professional. If you do, though, well, I can't think of anything I want more."
Before Sam knew what was happening, Jack's arms were around her, pressing her back into the sofa, and his mouth was against hers, warm and gentle. She was shocked, but instantly returned his embrace, and opened her lips to him. When his tongue swept into her mouth, she moaned with pleasure. Jack O'Neill was kissing her, and he was amazing at it. She boldly slid her tongue against his, and it was his turn to moan. Her lips turned up in a smile against him. This was more than she'd ever expected.
Jack didn't even realize he'd moved toward her. His body had acted instinctively. All he knew was this beautiful woman was sitting in front of him, telling him that she loved him, and he needed her. He needed to know that she was real. Her warm body fit against his perfectly. She was soft, yet strong, and he didn't think he'd ever be able to let her go. When her mouth opened to him, he was certain of it. He needed her like he needed air. Her tongue slid into his mouth, and his heart nearly burst with emotion, while his body was flooded with heat. He pulled back with difficulty, and looked in her eyes, where he saw his own feelings reflected in them. "This is okay?"
"More than okay. It's exactly what I've always wanted," she told him. Her fingers were playing with the graying hairs at the nape of his neck. For some reason, she'd always found the razor straight hairline at the back of his head incredibly sexy, and had longed to feel it. It was softer than she'd imagined and she didn't want to stop touching it. "I take it you've forgiven me?" She asked softly.
Jack chuckled, looking down into her blue eyes, as he tucked a lock of golden hair behind her ear. "Carter, there's nothing to forgive. We've both been complete idiots, and hurt each other. If we'd just been honest with each other years ago, we'd both have been a lot less miserable."
"I know," she said quietly. "I can't believe how much time we've wasted."
His hand cupped her cheek. "Hey, none of that. We've got time ahead of us. Lots of time, I'm hoping. Carter, are you sure this is what you want?"
"Of course. Are you?"
Jack chuckled placing a small kiss on her nose, and pulled her back up so they were sitting again. "God, Carter, you don't know how long I've wanted this." His looks turned serious for a moment. "You need to know though, that if we start this, it's not going to be casual for me. I'm going to be all in, and if you can't do that, then we need to stop right now. I you're not all in, I need to know. I can't invest in you and then watch you walk away. I've lost too many people in my life. I can't lose you too."
Sam heard the pain and uncertainty in his voice. She knew he'd lost many friends, as well as military members under his command, and those who commanded him in his years in the military, and that had hurt him. It was the loss of his son, though that had nearly broken him, along with the subsequent dissolution of his marriage. He had lost more than anyone should have in their lifetime, and the fact that he was still there, still standing, and still able to love, astounded her. "Oh, Jack," she said, her voice tender and full of love. "I will never leave you. You've had my heart for a long time. Even though I've made some poor choices that alienated you, it's always belonged to you. I've always belonged to you. I'm in forever."
Promise?" He asked, his body flooding with relief.
"Promise," She told him. "With all my heart."
Jack leaned in, kissing her again. He couldn't remember the last time he'd been so happy. While a small part of his brain was worried that the joy he felt would be snatched away, as it had been so many times before, the larger part, the one he was going to listen to, told him to appreciate every moment they had together. After all the years of waiting, hoping, miscommunications and missed opportunities, he finally had the one thing he wanted more than anything since he'd met her, and there was nothing standing in their way. Damn, he realized with a bold of irritation, there still was! He suddenly drew back. The heat he'd felt moments before disappeared
This time it was Sam's turn to look confused and uncertain. "Jack?"
He ran a hand down his face in frustration. "Carter, I'm still your CO until 1700 hours, the day after tomorrow." He looked down at his watch. "Well, technically it's after midnight, so I guess we can call it tomorrow, but, until then, we're technically breaking the regs."
Sam sighed, realizing he was right, but they were so close, and she was so tired of waiting. "After all these years of being good, you don't think one day really matters, do you?"
He smiled at her, putting a hand to his chest in mock surprise. "I'm shocked Colonel! You would never break a rule, certainly not for an old airman like myself."
"Sir-Jack," she amended, giving him a saucy grin, "there are so many ways I'd like to break those rules with you." To prove it, she leaned in to him, and grazed her teeth along the side of his neck, eliciting a shiver from him. She grew bolder, and snaked her tongue out to lick the shell of his ear.
Jack's body grew hot again at her words, but it was a bolt of pure desire that shot through him as her mouth touched his skin. His mind went fuzzy as he reached to pull her closer. One day wouldn't really make a difference would it? No one else would know, and… "No," he said, pulling away. His breath was coming in short bursts, and he had to fight an inner war that was more difficult than anything he'd faced in the field. "We can't. I want to, believe me, I want to," he reassured her, when her face fell. If she'd glanced down at his sweats, she'd have seen exactly how much he wanted to. "But, we have to be careful. We've held out for eight very long years, and as much as I hate it, we'll have to wait another," he looked down at his watch, "35 hours and 22 minutes."
Sam grimaced at his words. She knew he was, as always, protecting her and her career, but it didn't mean she had to like it. "You're right," she huffed. "It's not so long, when you think about it in terms of time and space. A fraction of a millisecond, shorter that that really, when you consider the length of-"
Jack put a finger up to her lips, cutting her off. "That's my girl," he said softly, chuckling. "You keep your amazing brain working on that, and it will make the time fly."
"Okay," she sighed, "but don't think I'm waiting one more minute."
"I would expect no less," he told her.
"Si-Jack," she corrected herself with a smile, "I need to know…why me? What do you see in me?"
Jack stared at her in disbelief. "What do I see in you? Carter, are you kidding? What do I not see in you? You're perfect."
She shook her head. "I'm not, and I don't want you to think so. I can't live up to that. I get caught up in my work and forget the time; my bedroom is frequently strewn with dirty clothes; I'm not a huge fan of hockey, and well, let's be honest, I'm a geek. I hardly think I'm the kind of woman you would go for."
Pulling her in for a hug, Jack, kissed her forehead, then pulled back to look at her. "Sam, I know you're not perfect, it was a figure of speech, but believe me, you're perfect for me. I never thought I'd love anyone again, after," he hesitated, "after my divorce, but I do. More than I thought possible. Besides, I've been around you almost every day for eight years; you think I don't know your faults? I've got plenty of my own, you know. Between our imperfections, we'll be perfect together. I can't imagine what you see in me, but I'm not going to question my good luck."
"It's not luck Jack, it's just you. What will we do though? You're going to DC and I'm going to Nevada. How will we make it work?"
He trailed his finger down the side of her face. "I don't know, but I promise, we'll find a way. After all this time, I'm not going to let something like twenty-five hundred miles get in our way."
Sam leaned in to kiss him. He groaned when her tongue skimmed his lips, and pressed his body closer to hers. He pulled away abruptly, before things got out of hand. Sam swallowed and made an unhappy sound in the back of her throat. "Can you just hold me for a while? Surely that won't be breaking the regs too much, would it? If we just cuddled for a while." she asked.
"Carter likes to cuddle? I would never have guessed," he teased, pulling her in and wrapping his arms around her. She leaned her head onto his shoulder, and he smiled at the memory of how many times she'd done this in the past. He remembered how he'd wanted to pull her close and wrap his arms around her all those times too, but had to hold back due to the regs. He leaned in and kissed the top of her head, smiling when she let out a sigh of contentment. She leaned in closer, turning her body into his more, and wrapped an arm across his body. They sat in silence for a long time, simply enjoying the semi-freedom they now shared. "God, Carter, I never would have thought we'd be doing this."
"Me neither," she muttered into his neck. A clock somewhere in the living room dinged out the hour, causing her to let out a small expletive. "Is that the time? I should-go."
Jack nodded. He didn't trust himself to speak. The thought of letting her walk away scared him to death. What if she changed her mind? What if this was all a dream? He stood, holding his hand out. When she took it, he pulled her into his arms. She pressed her body against his willingly, and he felt a sense of peace. "This isn't a dream right? I'm not going to wake up in the morning to find it was all in my head."
She chuckled. "It's not a dream. If it is, then we're having the same one, and I never want to wake up."
They let each other go, and walked slowly toward his front door, both reluctant to part. "I'll see you tomorrow?" she asked as they stopped.
"Absolutely. It will be difficult for me not to be smiling like an idiot, but I'll do my best. I wouldn't want to ruin my reputation as the eternal grump."
"I don't think there's a chance of that," she told him.
He touched the tip of her nose. "Stranger things have happened. So," he hesitated slightly, "you still want to go fishing?"
"Yes. I'm dying to see your cabin, and I can't wait to…" she looked down, and Jack saw the blush creep up her pale face, "spend some time alone with you."
"Me neither," he breathed, thinking of the time they would spend alone not fishing. "You think I could rescind the invite I extended to Daniel and T?"
"Nope." She cocked her head to the side, her eyes roaming his face. "Of course there's no reason I have to come back when they do. I've got a whole bunch of leave saved up. I could take an extra week or three."
"Or maybe six?" He suggested.
"Or maybe six," she replied.
He pulled her in for a hug. "I still can't believe…this."
"Believe it," she assured him.
"All right," he said reluctantly releasing her. "You should probably go before I decided to keep you here."
"I wouldn't fight you." She didn't want to leave either. Part of her was afraid he would change his mind in the light of day.
"I know, and that's the problem. Now, go. I'll see you in a few hours." He kissed her forehead once more, but she leaned up and captured his lips yet again, and wrapped her hands around his neck. He was beginning to regret his decision to have her leave, but pulled back nonetheless. "You're going to be the death of me." He realized she had actually breathed life back into him.
"I hope not," she gave him a saucy look. "I've got plans for you, and I definitely need you to be alive."
Jack made a small noise in the back of his throat. He couldn't wait to find out what she had in mind. "You always have the best plans, Carter. I look forward to them, and I will definitely be alive. I have the best reason."
"Good," she leaned up for a quick kiss and opened the door. "I'll see you in the morning."
Just as she stepped onto his porch, Jack glanced down at his watch. "Hey, only 34 hours, 12 minutes to go."
Sam didn't say anything, but walked to her car with a smile on her face. She knew it would be a long 34 hours, 12 minutes, but after all these years, it wouldn't be so bad.
Jack stood in the door, and watched her get into her car and drive away. He knew the next day would be difficult, but for Sam, he'd make it through. Closing the door, he turned back toward his bedroom, knowing he would only catch an hour or two of sleep if he was lucky, and would be tired at work, but the lack of sleep had certainly been worth it. Sam loved him, and that was all that really mattered.
So, should I end it here, or should they have another conversation at the cabin? I'm fine ending it here, but if you think it needs more, I can probably come up with something. There might even be some smut thrown in, but I can't promise that. ;)
