Authors note;; Wow! So many reviews, and all good ones! I'm very happy that you all enjoyed it! Yay! I was going to wait a bit to write this, as I don't want to spoil you all with updates too fast, but I couldn't help it, I'm so into this now
There are a few things I want to cover from some reviews, though, but I will wait until the end for that. So here is chapter eleven! This chapter is pretty much focuses on Bella and Edward. I need to establish some sort of relationship between them, with her as Bella Suicide and he as Dark!Edward haha. Gotta love Queen Cocaine.
I loathe surprises.
After seventeen years of doing nothing but obsessing and perfecting my plan, putting a tremendous amount of time and effort into all of this, surprises would be my down fall.
And they kept happening. Being surprises, I could obviously not anticipate them, but I was becoming less and less confident in myself and my plan. I would have to do some serious rethinking on Edward's character, since he was the one the surprises seemed to be centering around.
I could not allow that to continue. I needed to contain myself around him, and not allow his presence to effect me the way it has been. Or it would proceed to destroy my plans.
But I couldn't deny that a part of me was excited as I placed my hand in his. He had gotten me a gift. The reason for this, I was completely unsure, but the fact that he did made small butterflies wing their way through my intestines.
The second my marble skin came in contact with his, an electric shock revved up my arm. I didn't get to touch him often, so when the short moments happened, even after all these years it still had these effects on me. I suppose it's sad, but I would not trade him for anything.
Edward smirked when I complied, and his fingers curled around my own. He turned, stepping slowly out the large front doors he'd already opened, with me following his long strides. It felt nice to have his hand within my own once more, though I would not show it.
As soon as I stepped out into the clear, star filled night, the silver moonlight glinted off of what I assumed was my gift, and a small gasp left me.
There, in the middle of the Cullen manor drive, was a brand new motorcycle.
I would really, really have to start thinking more into this new Edward.
My scarlet gaze shifted to him, and I knew I had a questioning look on my face. He laughed, and even though it was slightly dark, it was a beautiful sound. It struck something deep in me, that I refused to acknowledge was there at this moment.
"My apology, Miss Suicide." Edward took a slight bow, backing his words. I raised my right eyebrow once more, staring into his burning eyes that somehow managed to send small tingles through me, even in my anger towards him that still resided in me.
I presumed that by 'my apology', he meant the motorcycle.
Curiosity took me over, and I inquired him with my eyes. He gave a slight nod, straightening up to his full height and towering over me. I aversely released his hand, and graciously stepped down the stone steps until my feet met the concrete drive. I gaited to the wondrous metal creation, running my slender, white fingers over the steel neck of the handlebars, my eyes taking in the sight of it like a sponge absorbs water. The metal was hard and cool under my touch, and it sent small chills of excitement through me. "Edward..." I didn't know what to say, so many thoughts were coursing through my mind. Why had he gotten this? His apology, he'd said. His apology for reading my letter without my permission? For his actions at the hotel, or in my room just hours ago? I turned to face him, hesitancy apparent on my doll like features. "Why?"
He came to me then, his movements so fluid it was like watching water ripple. He was beside me, running his own slim fingers across the gorgeous steel monster. The bike was rather enormous, trim metal and hard black paint as it was, and looked very expensive. It was, without a doubt, one of the best the lot had held.
Gold met silver, as he kept his eyes on the bike when he spoke, softly as if considering the bike as a picture of grace as much as I do. "I saw the look on your face when you saw these, in Alice's mind. I imagined you would highly enjoy owning one, and I was in need of something to redeem myself for my actions."
If only you knew why I had a fascination with these powerful vehicles.
That brought about a question in me. "I thought you didn't regret invading my personal property?" There was a teasing, but icy, tone to me. I still wasn't very thrilled that he'd took it upon himself to read that very private letter. The look of desire on his perfect face as he gazed upon my present, and I was suddenly struck with inspiration.
I knew how to get closer to Edward, without him realizing it was I that was doing it. He was intently studying the motorcycle anyhow, so I closed my eyes, withdrawing into myself. I knew it would only be a spare moment to him, and I could finish this without him realizing I had any involvement in it. I looked within the fountain of my unique power, throwing out a small hook visible to myself only, gaining a small part of Edward's mind reading ability. I stored it in my 'box' for later, pulling out the vine that contained Heidi's power. I had some apprehension to manipulating Edward, but it needed to be done. I planted the thought deep enough in his mind that he would consider it strongly and end up following through with it, but not deep enough for him to know it wasn't his own thought. I came out of my coma-like state, after what felt like a long time, though in reality was not even a second. My eyes lost their glaze in time for Edwards liquid gold orbs to slide up and meet mine.
"Oh, I don't. But I anticipate it's better for everyone if you and I are not constantly playing juvenile games of trying to anger the other, so I am stopping it before it happens." He gave me a small, cocky grin at this, though I knew he was being honest. I almost scoffed at his words. but stopped myself.
I suppose he is right.
I turned my attention back to the bike, and I knew I had to thank him. "It will suffice."
I looked to him after that, and saw that he was taken aback by my words. He had been expecting me to accept it immediately, and his face held surprise, and a hint of nervousness.
This made me chuckle softly, and I gave him a small, devilish grin with my perfect white teeth. "It was a anecdote, Edward. I am grateful for your gift, and your apology is accepted. But I warn you not to repeat your actions."
I was rewarded with a small, sincere looking smile, but it almost immediately, so fast I wasn't positive it had been there, changed into that ever-present hard sneer he seemed to have quite frequently these days. It bothered me, a little. I grieved the crooked smile that used to make my knees weak and knock the breathe right from my lungs. Why had he changed so drastically? My eyes drank in the sight of him. Tight, smooth tan pants made of leather that left nothing to my imagination, a tight black tee shirt that did the same, along with those same black unlaced boots. He was absolutely, almost mouth wateringly sexy like this, but I still was curious as to what brought it on.
But those thoughts were for another time, and I refocused on Edward. He seemed to be scrutinizing me, the same way I had done to him. "What?"
He chuckled softly. "You're hardly dressed for a midnight ride."
I examined myself, and as his words hit home I saw that he was indeed completely correct. I had on the same layered, fringy black skirt that fell to my knees and diamond black fishnet stockings as I had earlier. My upper body was clad in a deep purple, authentic corset with straps that covered my shoulders, that pushed my breasts up, enticingly but not in a overly suggestive way. My pale, creamy skin looked as if it were glowing in the moonlight, and a few inches were added to my height from my favorite witch boots. My black and fluorescent pink locks fell in loose waves, cascading to the small of my back.
I looked to the man I once cogitated my angel, and shrugged. "Well, it needs gas and such, so I could not ride anyways."
Edward grinned at my words, holding his hand out and dangling keys from his fingers. "Full tank."
How darling. He'd put a key chain of a little gothic looking fairy on the key ring.
I couldn't stop myself, and smiled beatifically back. I reached out and took them, jingling them softly in my palm. They felt nice. "Well, I suppose I can take it out a bit tonight?"
Edward simply nodded, and I turned towards the house, excitement bubbling up inside of me. Heading into the house, and routed my way to my room. Once there, I swiftly pulled off my skirt, stockings and heeled boots, changing into a brand new pair of Seven jeans, keeping my corset on. I felt naked without some sort of corset, most of the time. It had just become my trademark.
With poise, I rooted through my well organized closet, a mollified smirk rising when I found the objects I had been searching for. My team of subjective designers came in handy. I had a personalized leather jacket, with my signet of BS initials on the back in silver, royal blue and dark purple colorized metal studs, as well as a zip up front that went to right below my breasts, molding perfectly to my corset. I left my hair down and flowing, and slipped my small, faultless feet into boots similar to those I had been wearing previously, but these were thicker and tied up to my knees, with steel toes on the inside and a flat heel. I tightened the laces around my jeans, and stood.
My attention was caught by the mirror, and my crimson stare flickered to the glass. I smiled to myself. I looked like quite the bad ass, right now. Perfection, as per usual.
I hurried down the steps, and back to the outside of the manor. I found Edward still regarding the bike with interest. I came to a halt a few feet from him, and his attention shifted to me. "Would you be horribly objective to me riding with you?"
Again. Edward and his fucking surprises. If I had a beating heart, it would have stopped.
My mouth twitched, wanting to fall open in shock, but I put a stop to it. I pursed my lips slightly, pondering this option. Since I had arrived, I had avoided Edward at all times, except those needed. He was somehow managing to best me in this, and kept catching me off guard. I was slightly bitter about this. But...Did I want Edward riding on a bike behind me? His hard body pressed to mine? I would have to stay in complete control, or risk revealing myself and placing my flawless plan in jeopardy. Did I want to put myself through that sort of effort, just to have his company?
Of course I did.
In a somewhat surprised, pleasant voice, I answered. "No. Join me, if you wish."
His eyes sparkled in surprise at this. Had he been expecting me to reject him? I ignored it, though, and moved to my bike.
A peculiar look crossed his features when he took in my appearance. Approval? Longing? Desire? I must have looked appealing to him, as I would to anyone, but he once again hid this after only a split second, so I couldn't decipher exactly what it had been. I slid into place on the bike, feeling the absolute power of the machine between my thighs. I fought back a shudder.
It was absolutely exhilarating. And I couldn't wait to ride it.
My lips parted, readying themselves to ask Edward what was taking so long, but right as they did his lean, hard body slid into place behind mine, hands going to my small waist and gripping it gently beneath my ribs.
My eyes slid closed for a second, relishing his touch. That same burning sensation from before shot through me, and I felt the frost of his irrelevant breath hitting my cheek. I knew his head must be above my shoulder, but I precluded myself to find out.
Silently bracing myself for the thrill I knew would jolt through me, I slid the key home, turning the ignition and gripping the throttle.
Edward and I were jerked forwards, the wind whipping our unguarded faces and undoubtedly blowing my long, silken hair back against him.
The breath left my body when his arms slid fully around my torso, underneath my own, and I automatically leaned back against him. He didn't react to this, that I could tell.
I concentrated on where I was driving, and I noticed a large mass of green. A forest. I headed for that, steering my shiny new machine onto a path. I drove down the path, simply enjoying the feel of Edward's body, coupled with the pins and needles of elation at the high speed we were shooting ahead at.
It was making my slightly dizzy at the heady sensation of it all.
And though every inch of my was utterly aware of Edward's proximity, a memory of a dark, towering boy kept flashing into my mind. The inexplicable urge I'd had to cycle was now quenched, only to leave me longing for more.
I was unsure of how long we rode for. But the sky was tinted a slight pink color when Edward finally spoke.
"Go back."
His lips brushed the shell of my ear when he spoke, and it literally sparked chills down my spine.
I didn't question his motivations, and turned my bike in the general direction of the Cullen residence. I didn't need a navigational device to tell me the correct way.
Edward was tense behind me, and I could not fathom why. We hadn't spoken, so I couldn't have said something he didn't wish to hear. It must have been something he himself was mulling over.
I quickly delved into my meditated state for one solitary second, finding within myself the tendril of Jasper's power I had taken a short time ago. I didn't attempt to change Edwards emotions, only to feel them.
Mystification. Desire. Anticipation. Excitement. Guilt. Grief. Yearning. Uncertainty. Misery.
Love.
That shook me, and I straightened up. Love for who? Certainly not for me.
His emotions were scattered, and kept changing. It was difficult to interpret. Did he feel guilty simply being on a motorcycle in conjunction to me, while he was in love with another?
I concluded that must be it, and my demeanor hardened.
He was sending me mixed signals, and it was angering and irritating me, to say the least. I would not relinquish my control to him again, or lose my senses. I would not.
As his family estate came into view, I slowly eased my foot off the pedal until it slowed enough that I could stomp on the break. I was highly irate at this point, and wanted to be away from him. I stood, jutting out my foot to put the kick stand in place, and taking the keys in my hand. I turned on my heel and began to make my way towards the house.
"I'm going to get my own."
Edwards soft words followed me. I froze, before turning to face him, my facial expression completely blank, from practice.
"That's nice."
His eyes moved up to mine, now. He was standing beside the bike with one hand on the seat, and my eyes consolidated even more. His brow furrowed slightly in confusion, before smoothing completely. "Well, that way I wouldn't have to ride on yours, and it would be nice to get out of the house more often to do such a consoling and peaceful activity. Maybe it's something you would like to join me in?"
Once again, my jaw wanted to drop. Why did he seem to be able to completely bewilder me, at any given time?
That annoyed me, along with his words. Those fucking mixed signals again. "Make up your mind, Edward. Either you desire my company, or you do not. The vibes I was receiving from you on our little ride told me the opposite of what you're saying now."
He thought carefully for a moment, and looked like he was going to give me an answer. Then he reverted back to his former persona, and I could have quite literally thrown my 'present' at him for his arrogant, cryptic words.
"Why so hostile, Miss Suicide?"
Something in me snapped, then. He was so infuriating. "Why won't you call me by my fucking name, Edward? Would you like me to call you Mr. fucking Cullen all the time?"
Silence.
I waited a few moments, and he just continued to stare at me with a new, cold tint to his gaze. I'd struck below the belt on that one, I knew. I knew why he wouldn't refer to my by my first name, but I wanted to test him. To play him, like he seemed to flawlessly play me. To make him into the fucking toy he had viewed me as, before. Well, no more. I was in control now. I was playing him like a pawn. He had no idea who I was, and he wouldn't know until I decided he could.
When it was clear he had no intent on answering me, I cursed softly. "You know what I've decided, Mr. Cullen? You can take your fucking apology bull shit and shove it up your ass."
I threw the keys with as much strength as I possessed, knowing even if it had made collision it would have no effect on him. But it was the spitefulness of the act that sustained me.
I aimed for his head.
Without blinking, his hand flexed up and caught the keys with ease. He looked at me, puzzled. "What the hell was that for?"
"YOU! You being an arrogant, confusing, fucking frustrating BASTARD!" The words exploded from me without a second thought, my voice rising to an unbelievable pitch on the last word. Huffing, I turned to the house and stomped into it. I heard nothing, but felt the presence of all who resided here.
They had heard it all, there was no way they hadn't. I stormed into my room, a frustrated scream leaving me, and it only took me a short while to realize I did not belong inside right now. I opened the window in my room, jumping out and landing graciously on my feet, running into the forest.
I needed to kill.
Not because I was thirsty. No, I was not nearly thirsty enough to hunt. I had no need to hunt, i had my own personal containment of a variety of blood.
But I needed to make something feel pain. I had to release this fury inside of me. I had a feral, primal emotion overwhelming my senses right now, and I could think of nothing else but killing.
As I flitted through the trees, a blur to any naked human eye, I let my vampiric senses overtake me, body shaking. Smell, sound and sight.
Run. Run.
Heartbeat. Blood. Life.
Kill. Kill. Drink. Kill.
My head whipped in the direction of the poor, unsuspecting deer, and in a single length of one heart beat I had snapped it's neck bone, viciously tearing into it's throat with my elongated canines. The thick, rich liquid slid down my throat, and my eyes closed in euphoria.
The monster in me was practically purring in content, while the rational part was slightly frightened. I had never reacted like that before. It was a bit unnerving.
Complete satisfaction radiated from every pore in my body.
I stayed in that position for a few moments, staring down at my knees. I'd ripped my jeans in my haste to jump on the deer, right on the thigh. Of course, my skin remained flawless.
I looked up to the sky, seeing the first rays of sun peeking through.
I felt better, now. And I knew I had to return to the house.
Return to him.
Bitterness rose in me at this. He was messing up my plans, and making me less sure of my actions every day. I'd given him seventeen years to forget my pathetic past, enough that he wouldn't run should he find out it was really me.
Worthless, naive, minute Bella Swan.
I hated her. With everything I had in me, I hated that insolent child I had once been.
And I would make myself into something better than her.
I would make him see me as something better. Something worthy.
A defeated sigh emitted me. I would have to return before the sun rose, and I was at risk of a human passing by and capturing a glimpse.
I took in the vision of myself, that I could see. Ripped, dirtied jeans, kneeling on the leafy forest floor with a dead doe at my feet. My eyes fell to the doe, and slight remorse filled me. But I was a predator, she was a prey. That was how the world worked.
I was just beginning to rise to my feet, when a soft voice came from the trees behind me. I had been so involved in my own thoughts I had not sensed another presence.
"It's a wonder you haven't revealed yourself and all of us, with that temper of yours."
Authors Note ;; Alright. I pretty much hate this chapter. I don't like how I wrote it, I don't like the flow, I just don't like it. Maybe it's because Edward and Bella haven't really spent time together yet, in Suicide Girl, and it's quite necessary for them to do so for me to continue. I figured this would be the best way, but I just don't know if I like it. But if i change it any more it will never be posted. My apologies if I disappoint anyone, but I seriously drove myself crazy over this.
And a few things I want to cover.
The song in the last chapter, was not one of Bella's. It was an angry song she was listening to, to kind of make herself feel better, justified. I know I can do much better than that, but that song fit her mood right then. Trust me, she will be having some new songs, much much more fitting to her new personality. That song was simply a song she was listening to, and that's it.
Another thing. Bella may seem less calculating and prepared right now, but it's necessary as well to get to the point needed. The point of that, is that being around Edward more and more is breaking down her defenses, and he's unpredictable to her, which causes delays and bumps in her plans. She is very unhappy about this.
As I said, if you don't like this chapter, I understand, because neither do I. But I suppose it's now or never, eh? I am actually very excited right now, because I have almost the rest of this story completely planned out. It will be a decent length, but not ridiculously long.
Also, a humongous thank you to by savior, Kristina. I never would have gotten through this chapter if it wasn't for her, so thank Kristina, guys! As well as Queen Cocaine herself, for reading the entire, insanely long message I sent her last night about the plot. She deals with a lot from me.
Oh. And, this story has completely abducted my thoughts. I was at work tonight, and I kept looking to my left, and the paperback copy of New Moon was there and I just could not stop thinking and plotting for the life of me.
So. Who followed her? What do they want? Stay tuned! Review, please. Whether good or bad, I appreciate it. I really am discouraged by the turn out of this chapter, but I promise future ones will be much, much better.
-LollirotXoX
