Lucy
"Holy shit" I whispered, Natsu chortling behind me, at my stunned reaction. I heard as he climbed the final steps of the fire escape, his feet hitting the cold metal of the ladder before colliding with the cement. Straightening up, I moved aside to give him room. I could feel the warmth of his presence behind me; it was comforting from the night air. The nurse's outfits were thin and provided little protection against the wind; I shivered slightly, taking in the sight in front of me.
"Pretty cool, heh?" He moved to my side, his warm hand pressing against the small of my back, edging me forward. I could only nod in response.
The place indeed was. Lanterns were strung across lines, zig tagging across the roof top, almost hazardously, illuminating the area. But that wasn't the only light source; my eyes gravitated towards it, a single metal barrel, rusted from top to bottom from years of wether, fire breathing out of it, it was rising high and strong. Powerful. I could feel the heat from here; it was welcoming on my skin.
Small plastic chairs were around it, some looked like they would break under the smallest of weights, and they were old and beaten, pieces of the arms were broken off and parts of the backs were missing; it would be wonder if anyone could sit on them.
It was strangely beautiful, colourful lanterns hanging above, a fire in the middle surrounded with chair, like a camp out, almost.
But that wasn't what caught my attention; it was what I heard. The smallest of sounds, it was faint, but I was certain I could hear the faint crashing of waves on shore, colliding with rocks
"Can you hear it?" He whispered, listening for it himself. "We don't often come up here, its, just too risky sometimes. If we were to be found out …" He trailed off in meaning, I understood. I looked at him; the usual lightness of his hair looked darker from the fire, not as vibrant, his skin looked darker and his features looked more pronounced; sharpened.
"How far away is it?" I moved to the side of the building, Natsu following behind wordlessly; leaning against the wire fence lining. I looked out, my eyes searching for the sound of the waves; almost impossible form our distance; nevertheless, I could hear them.
"There, that way," He pointed "it's not a long drive actually. Sometimes, when they take us out for outings, we go there"
Following his hand, I looked at the direction he was pointing. I couldn't see them, at first. But if I squinted my eyes a little and narrowed my vision to the small section he was pointing to; I could see the smallest of waves from the moonlight; which was mainly covered in clouds, hiding most of the light.
"It's so far away." I looked back to where we were, bringing my vision back in. I turned so my back was against the fence, it was uncomfortable; but otherwise all right. "Natsu?" I questionably approached, hearing the change in my tone he looked at me, smiling.
"Hmm?"
"What's down there? On the third floor, I mean?" I continued "Why doesn't anyone tell me what's happens in there?" It was something I had wanted to know for months, with countless questions plaguing me mind; and there was no one willing to tell me. Even though I had been near Natsu for a day, I felt he could tell me honestly what everyone was afraid of. Why they would stop talking at the mention of it, look away with sad expressions, and why they didn't talk about the people who were up there.
His face tightened at my words, I instantly regretted asking, almost. His hand tightened on railing, he leaned into it. As if trying to relax almost, but his pained expression didn't go away.
He turned around, so like me; was leaning against the railing completely, even though it was uncomfortable. Looking at me with a serious expression, I could tell he didn't want to—but took a deep breath he began.
"It's a hard thing to explain, but, there are these rooms they have in there, like time-out rooms. And … when you go in them, your body will break down, and they keep you like that for hours" He started with his eyes averted. Not looking at me, or the view, or the fire; but at the ground. His expression one of disgust, revolt; explaining to me what really happened behind closed doors. On another floor.
I was tempted to reach out and touch his arm comfortingly, but didn't feel that would be appropriate at this time. He lifted his head; his brow scrunched together, scattered thoughts.
"And sometimes, when you're up there, they like to tease you, make fun of you, and mock you!" he hissed angrily; his arms gripping the railing in a death grip, anger at the thought of it. He pulled away from the railing, stepping away from me; and began to walk away.
I watched as he walked away, wide eyed; turned back around to the view, collecting my thoughts.
Natsu
I couldn't look at her, even in her tight uniform; I couldn't look at her. Her question was too personal, to blunt.
From what little I knew about her, I knew she came from a fancy background; and didn't socialize very often. Not blaming her for her blunt question, she didn't really understand how she could have asked better, or to realise it was better to not ask at all.
Damn blondie.
I moved to the other part of the roof, where I could see the others waiting, Freed turned around grinning.
"Starting to think you wouldn't turn up, what took you so long?" He walked over to me, a small packet of smokes in hand. I shook my head, "Did the newest one come along?" He referenced to Lucy.
Nodding my head I moved to where Gray was, who was arm-wrestling Bickslow. Lighting a smoke, I made an excuse about having trouble getting past nurses, though the truth was that we had gone to see Wendy and Romeo.
"So, ah… where is she?" Freed was a quiet guy at first, but one you got to know him you realized he was a bit of ladies' man—nothing compared to what Gray and I were like. But he did have a bit of a dick personality.
"She's near the fire" I answered; Gray nodded to my presence in acknowledgement and continued to wrestle Bickslow.
"You … just left her there?" Shocked, but the smallest sounds of amusement was in his voice. Freed chuckled.
"She's warming herself up" Doing my best to make it sound like a throw-away comment.
"Dick" Gray smirked before his face turned to one as concentration on Bickslow. Freed lit another smoke, the grey wisps rising in the air. I watched as Bickslow and Gray continued, Bickslow pulling Gray's arm closer and closer to the table.
Lisanna spotting me, walked over. Grinning nicely, she moved beside me; latching onto my arm and rested her head on my bicep. She was the clingy sort, the type that would be an awesome girlfriend but you would get on your nerves to quickly. But I was used to this; I had no her since she was child. Though she moved around a lot, I saw her from time to time. It was a really surprise to see her along with her brother and sister enter through those doors.
Pulling her under my arm so she was against my body, she sighed, I knew this was more to do with my body heat then me in general. I smiled secretly to myself.
"You're always so warm…" She breathed, her breathe cold against my skin. Chuckling at Lisanna, I waved to Erza, who gave me a disproving look but; otherwise waved back. "You want to go somewhere else?" One of her hands snaking under my shirt, running over my body. I shivered at her touch, looking down at her grinning.
Hearing Gray swear something fierce told me he lost.
"Let's find somewhere, shall we?"
And we walked away.
Lucy
The wind blew stronger and for a moment I was afraid the fire would go out, I had moved to sit by it. After testing one of the stronger chairs, I carefully tried to sit on the edge without putting my full weight on it. Warming my hands near the fire, I felt it spread nicely over my skin. My arms, to my chest and my face.
"Whatcha doin' baby? I jumped in my seat and heard and creak in it, like the plastic was groaning from the sudden pressure. There I saw was Bickslow, tongue out on full display. It almost looked like he was entering from the shadows, the fire and fairy lights were playing with my vision, not allowing me to see further then I would have liked to.
I was wondering whether or not I should have followed Natsu… I think he needed a bit of time away. So here I had been, sitting alone by the fire. With nothing but my own company.
I was wonder where the others were, since they were already here…
"Just, warming myself I guess" Not knowing what else to say, I focused looking intently on the fire, watching the small flicks of flames rise in the air.
He moved to the seat beside me, not talking at first, but warmed his own hands by the flames.
"Alright, baby," he spoke, startling me "what ya planning to do here?"
"Pardon?"
"Whatcha gonna do up here, by ya self?"
"Ahhh, getting warm?"
"Need help with that, baby?" That last word sent a shiver up my spin, feeling quite uneasy by him. And his tone … that sounded suggestive.
"You, know … I think I'm good here" Making sure to keep my head forward and not make eye contact with him.
He chuckled, "You into dolls?" his voice quite serious and low, like a child telling a secret, peeking out the corner of my eye. He was looking at me intently. His change of topic sudden and strange, he had a way of everything just feeling weird and unnatural almost. But the suggestiveness was gone.
"Not for many years? Why, do you like them?"
"I had a princess one, but, had brown hair, and was really tall" I couldn't imagine him playing with a doll, or owning one in general. The conversation, seeming quite innocent; I ventured a question.
"Do you still have it?"
"The doll, yeah, I keep them all at home … I wasn't allowed to bring them here, they were 'inappropriate' here" he scoffed, like it was the most absurd thing. I imagined a nurse trying to wrangle a Barbie doll out of his hands.
"How many do you have?" Feeling like we were on some mutual ground, he seemed to be quite comfortable with the topic.
"Fourteen. Though, "he laughed softly "I think I've broken three of them"
"Oh, um, well there only dolls …"
"Yeah but they cost a lot …."
"Are they vintage?" To have a doll that was expensive would have been from something … at least the ones I owned. "Or could they sing or talk maybe?"
"I don't know about singing, but they sure could moan." rubbing his hands enthusiastically "But I think you can get talking ones … but you don't want to have the ones that can talk, they would be a nuisance"
Baffled by what he meant "I had ones that could talk, I've never had one that could moan"
He raised an eyebrow "I'll take note of that, what dolls did you play with?"
"Barbie dolls, glass dolls; all types really. But I stopped playing with them around seven years old" That was all true. After my mother's funeral I didn't really play with childish things, I didn't want anything she gave me. Anything they reminded me of her. It all would just hurt me so much, memories that were best kept away.
"That's cute … but I think we're talking about different types of dolls here, kid" his tongue went all the way out, moving it side to side.
Heatedly "I'm not a kid"
"You're as innocent as one. That's a kid enough for me" he spoke with conviction.
"I'm sixteen year old in a mental institution, not a prissy princess living in a castle somewhere" He gave me a long look out of his eye, like I was stupid; saying things that were desperate plea in proving I was something more. I was saying it more to myself than to him, like I wasn't some small minded girl who had been trapped away all her life from civilisation.
This was true.
"Then tell me, what dolls was I talking about?" he smirked, knowing he had me in a dead end. I was raking my mind, but here was nothing I could think of, what other dolls were there? After a pause he answered. "Sex dolls. I own fourteen of them, and I think I've broken three of them from banging them around to hard, I also have a princess one, I like the ones that moan rather than talk; and I think you have no idea what I am talking about"
My face blushed heavily, the fire light not helping made the colour look intensified. Bickslow laughing hunched over at my stunned reaction; clutching his sides.
"You really had no idea what I was talking about, did you?" I looked away, embarrassed. I felt almost sick; this situation was … it was unnerving for me.
But thankfully a saviour had come, with red hair and a stern expression. Unfortunately, Bickslow was not aware of this.
Erza walked from the shadows, a disproving look on her face as she advanced on him. We made no eye contact, she walked swiftly without making a sound of approach, Bickslow continued to howl in laughter; tears of mirth at his eyes.
Grabbing him by the back of his ear "You're not causing anything are you?" Stretching his ear a little, he gave a yelp and tried to shake his head.
"N-no madam" he squeaked, terror in his eyes. Releasing him, he slumped in his chair; earlier amusement gone. He rubbed his ear softly. Erza patted him on the cheek before taking the seat between the two of us.
"I hope he wasn't trouble for you?" The red head spoke, smiling friendly. I shook my head, maybe a little too fast. "Good, he's a bit of a pervert" Speaking like he wasn't even sitting right next to her.
"I could tell, madam" I added quickly, Erza cast me an amused looked before poking the wood in the fire.
"No need to call me that, I swear everyone acts nicer to me when I do something stupid" She growled out the last part.
"Erza" I corrected.
"Yes?" She looked back up, thinking I was asking a question.
"Ohh, nothing"
"The others should be over here in a minute, their taking their sweet time"
"What are they doing?" Erza and Bickslow were here, so that left, Natsu, Gray, Freed and Lisanna.
The two stopped suddenly, looking at each other as discreetly as they could. Bickslow watched as the small sparks rise in the air before vanishing and Erza continued to poke the fire, even a little roughly.
"Ah, I dunno, talking I guess. Nothing special" Giving one last jab to the fire she sat back, not looking at me. Their body language was suspicious, I could tell that much.
"Where's Natsu?" He had walked off to where Erza and Bickslow had come from. I couldn't really tell what they could do up here, there was a fire and view. And freedom from the nurses, there wasn't much else to do then socialize really.
So that left very little options left for Natsu. Erza froze; Bickslow looked faintly amused at the turn of events.
"Ah, talking to Freed I think, why?" Her eyes narrowed on me dangerously.
Taken aback "Oh, I was just wondering"
Looking at me suspiciously. "You seem to have come closer to Natsu within a day, maybe two if you add the day you broke Gajeel's nose. It's not like you have feelings for him or anything, right?" Her tone of voice came out like a warning, strong and firm but definite.
"N-no, I've only just met him!" I waved my hands in front of me, in a pleading manner. Embarrassed at her approach, but otherwise shocked.
"Good, he is what we call a Fuckboy"
"Fuckboy?"
"He will get into anyone's pants if the chance arises. I wouldn't want to be with him if I were you …"
A Fuckboy, the word itself sounded strange in my mind. Not to mention, the first half of the word was a bad word. What would my father think if he found out that I said such a thing?
Probably never let me see the sunlight again, or leave the house. I gulped down.
Natsu had seemed reverently nice towards me; he hadn't made a move on me or anything. Even helped me escape from my room to get me here.
He made everyone nice to me, which alone made me feel like a child that had to be cared for. Plus, he introduced me to Romeo and Wendy. Had he done that with someone else, maybe Lisanna or Cana, maybe Erza?
I looked back up at Erza who had gone back to poking the fire, even a little harshly again. But had I got feelings for him? Yes, I thought he was attractive … but otherwise I don't think I could go as far as feelings?
Freed walked towards us, a smirk firmly in place, he looked like he was strutting almost. A pleasant glow surround him, he wore jeans, a green button up shirt and plain black slip on shoes. I also noticed that his belt wasn't done probably and his zipper was part way down.
I gawked, having a slither of an Idea of what of what had happened right before now. Freed followed my eyes, and seeing his problem let a small cuss before zipping his pants and probably adjusting his belt and tightening it. Finished, he looked up at me with wide eyes, Erza and Bickslow had their backs to him; and I was sitting on an angle that allowed me to see the other side of the roof.
Slightly embarrassed he composed himself before making his presence known.
Freed took the seat next to me, leaned back in his seat and tilted towards me. "I would appreciate it, if you don't tell anyone" I nodded shakily.
This night seemed to go form 'pleasant' to worst. Ticking them off in my head as I counted them. Natsu's disappearance, Bickslow's sex dolls, Erza and her message, and my conclusion of what Freed had done in the shadows, probably not long after Erza left I guessed.
So if Freed had to do it with anybody back there it would have been Lisanna, Natsu and Gray were back their two. So was it possible that the two men had been socialising while Freed and Lisanna did the dirty deed?
Well, what if Natsu went had done it with Lisanna? It's not like it involved me anyhow, they were free to do what they wanted.
It wouldn't bother me! Not at all! Nothing in this concerned me.
"Ahhh, Lucy?" Erza said looking up "Are you okay?" nodding quickly I was watched the embers rise up in the air, like it was the most beautiful thing in the world. The most interesting, the most marvellous!
"You sure? You have this dark look on your face, it's actually a little frightening" She tittered; her voice sounded uneasy, though there was something knowing in it.
"Yes, I'm quite fine" I hadn't meant it to sound so snappy, Freed moved uneasily next to me. He must think I'm acting this way because of him, I would apologise but I couldn't say anything while the others were sitting there.
My attitude had nothing to do with Natsu, or Lisanna. Nothing at all.
"Were alive!" And just then two boys walked out from the shadows, Gray and Natsu, grinning happily at everyone.
My heart leaped a bit when I saw Natsu, I was looking for the signs of our earlier conversation on his face, but saw none. Like nothing happened. Greeting everyone they walked over.
Nothing. He seemed quite happy.
Gray took the seat next to Bickslow and took right off on a conversation, and Natsu sat next to Freed—who seemed quiet relieved to have someone to talk to.
Not long after that Lisanna came out, wearing a long white skirt and baby blue blouse. She looked quite pretty, her skin was all smooth with no blemishes and seems to just glow, her eyes were big and had the prettiest colour of blue in them, and her collarbone was visible from her shirt, it was very pronounced, and I could only dream of having one as nice as that.
She was perfect. And not to mention skinny! So skinny-it would look scary from someone else point of view-but there was something attracting about it, I would have killed to have one like that.
And if Natsu was with her … how could I blame him! She was stunning! I was pale in comparison.
She smiled at me noticing I was looking at her, and took a seat next to Gray. There was only a spare chair between Lisanna and Natsu, and I was half expecting Natsu to move to it quickly.
I wasn't jealous at all! No, it wasn't possible. I could not be jealous. Impossible.
"You sure you're okay?" Erza mouthed to me one more last time, I nodded and she turned away. Freed and Natsu were chatting, Erza and Lisanna were talking to each other over the fire, and Gray and Bickslow were in a heated discussion. I was feeling out of place before, but this—I didn't even register in their world now.
Half an hour had passed, and nothing had happened. They continued to chat away and I was left there sitting awkwardly in silence. I was wondering whether or not it was worth walking back by myself; there was no real point in being here.
And the only true conversation I had really had was with Natsu earlier, and I had ruined that. I had talked to Bickslow, and I wouldn't call that a 'real' conversation anyway.
I was only really brought here out of sympathy when you think about it; Natsu had probably heard how they had treated me (which was mortifying in its own way!), and had taken pity on me, because he was too nice.
Inwardly groaning I pushed my chair back quietly, standing up I walked back to the side of the roof; from where I had been earlier.
Breathe in.
Taking in a deep breathe, I tried to push down unwanted feelings. I should have just stayed in my room. I was embarrassed to be here.
Breathe out.
I tried to ignore the sounds of them talking behind me, how I could hear them laughing –having a good time. Don't worry about me.
Breathe in.
I was only tagged along because they felt they had to do this for me. They didn't really want to bring me; they just felt that they owed me.
Breathe out.
There were no real feelings in any of this. It's why Natsu left so soon (And because I asked a stupid question) and no one really bothered to see if I was okay.
Breathe in.
I need to get out of here.
Stepping aside from the railing I moved back to the fire escape. The metal was cold on my hands, rusty and even a little wobbly.
Four steps down; I felt a hand on my shoulder. Looking up, I saw Natsu standing over me- well squatting down so we were closer in height. He had a confused look on his face, like he didn't understand what I was doing.
"Where you going?"
"I feel tired, I should go back. Sorry for the inconvenience" Looking back down I made my way back down the steps, but before I could get three steps I felt warm hands go under my arms; hoisting me up. Like I weighed nothing.
Setting me down in front of him, I felt my stomach drop. He wasn't actually doing this was he? Grabbing my forearm he turned me around gently.
"You're lying. I can tell" his voice firm, even a little controlling. His eyes narrowed in suspicion.
"I really need to get to bed Natsu, I don't feel well" Which was partially true, with Natsu in front of me I was feeling sick, his presence even a little suffocating. I don't understand where this feeling was coming from.
I sent a silent pray to god, hoping that I could leave. I didn't want to be forced to stay any longer. I just didn't feel right here.
Looking at me in concern "Do you really want to leave; I thought you would like it here?" His eyes dropped a little, pouting. I felt a little jerk in my chest, forcing my eyes to look somewhere else.
"I need to go" he gave a small nod. I crossed my arms in front of me, a nervous habit.
"I can take you back-"
"I can remember the way, thanks" Abruptly I cut him off, turning around I made a quick pace down the Ladder. Natsu staying behind a stunned look on his face, his eyes never leaving my own. In surprise and … something else. But he backed off. Taking this chance I left.
On the fifth floor again I made my way back to the stairwell, the hairs on my arm tingling, standing on edge. The room was just large and vacant, not serving any purpose-just like the rooms back at my house. I just didn't feel right, being on the rood, being in the room. I had to be back in my room. Making my way back to the stairwell, I took the stairs at three at time, with only the small dim lights guiding my steps.
Going past the fourth floor-where it was possible was the adult ward-or even where Romeo's dad was. I slowed a little when I came to the third floor. The door connecting between the stairs and the third floor. 'There are these rooms they have in there, like time-out rooms. And … when you go in them, your body will break down, and they keep you like that for hours', I shivered. Natsu voice filled my head.
I hope I never have the chance to end up in there.
Once I was in my room, I sat on my bed. Relief I was back somewhere familiar, with the comfort of my walls and bed to shield me. And the last look of Natsu's face in my mind. His expression stunned, along with something else. Even with my eyes closed it was still there, like it was imprinted inside my eye lids. Never leaving. But he stayed, he didn't come after me.
You're welcome.
You? Again? I inwardly groaned. Was it strange that I was speaking to something that was inside my head, never leaving ….
That's what you were thinking …. How lucky you were that he stayed behind you. You're welcome.
My eyes widened at the meaning in his/her words.
Mmmm… It hummed happily.
You … couldn't do that. You're a voice of my imagination. You can't control others.
No, I can't. But you can- to an extent. But I can show you things. Things you will have never have known about. I can still show you … It's not too late. Worry and temptation filled me, I wanted to know. I really wanted to know. But what if this voice is something dark and sinister? Like it was paranormal.
This is your last chance of tonight. I might not have the strength for later! The voice pleaded. And that was all it took. I nodded and laid on my back, closing my eyes.
And instantly I was dragged back into something. Darkness closing over me, and I was pulled into another place.
And another time.
Natsu.
"Did she leave?" Gray called, when I returned to the fire. My head down, there was a small moment of silence.
"Did you try and follow her?" Erza spoke, though I knew she was more worried about Lucy being caught and us being ratted out more then she really did for Lucy. I thought back to our last moment on the roof.
"I can remember the way, thanks" Her voice sharp and quick, and for brief moment I saw something behind her eyes, the smallest of gold flakes in them. Like a small burst of anger had gone through her. But it faded as quickly as it came. It left me standing there, like I couldn't move my own body or talk. Frozen in place.
It could have been the fire light, when she turned her head. That's all it could be right? That was the only explainable logic I could think of. But for the briefest of moments it was there, it was like it was moving. It was alive, inside of her. I felt cold.
But that was impossible right?
"I'll go get her now, she couldn't be back yet …"
"Good, because if they see her wearing a nurse's outfit they will know that she can get around …"
"Well, I'll see you tomorrow then" They yelled a number of goodnight, and I dashed down the fire escape. She couldn't be gone already? She couldn't have made it back to her room?
Going down each floor quickly, jumping each flight of stairs gracefully; I didn't make a sound. Getting back to the second floor door, I opened the door a crack and peered around ,I made a quick exist confirming no one was around.
I looked at the clock, there was a half an hour left before the stares doors would be locked. They would be leaving soon up there anyway.
Keeping as low as I could to the ground, I dodged as many nurses as I could, some keeping me waiting a good while before they moved. Having to duck behind couches and tables, into hallways leading off to god knows where.
Reaching the west side of the floor where the girl's dormitories were held, I turned down the first hallway, at the end was Lucy's door. It was closed.
She had made it back, but that was not what had stopped me in my tracks.
It was the small light emitting from under the door, the faintest of gold. Glowing.
The same shade of gold I saw in Lucy's eyes.
Authors note:
I know I said I would post it in the weekend, but then I met up with a friend to see pitch perfect 2 and I was working on my English speech for the great Gatsby for my critical review. And overall just busy.
But since it's a Sunday, and I have only gotten one story done for my weekly post, I will pull and all-nighter if I to finish 'Mini Natsu' and 'Lucy and Cana's adventure'. I will do it.
Anyway, I'm sure you know what my Instagram name is from past chapters at the bottom.
And I was thinking if I should tell you my snap chat name, I thought that might be too much … but then I thought if any of them decided to starts bugging me I can always block them. And other part of me is like 'why not? Who could it hurt?' and then there's that little angle on my left side going 'you know, what if you get stalked and harassed? What if this turns into something sinister and evil?'
And I can't really put up a fight against that.
And a big thanks to Bradbaby, who keeps on telling me on Instagram when I might do a story update and such … and twla! Here is a new chapter (not kidding, leave me a comment on when you want the next story update and it's done).
And I have poll, for those who have not voted, I'm sure you know the procedure.
Anyway, I hope you all had a stress less weekend unlike yours truly, and yeah. Leave a review, they REALLY do motivate me because then I think 'They really do like this, guess who will write a chapter right after this then mwhahaha.
