Chapter 12
I was confused, hurt and angry. It was difficult for me to process anything and anytime I tried, the physical pain I was experiencing was enough to take me away from my train of thoughts, thus accomplishing nothing. I spent what felt like hours crying, sometimes yelling, and sometimes sitting desperately silent waiting for him to return. I was angry at him for lying and manipulating me, sad that I had been taken away from my blissful ignorance, depressed by my near death experience, confused by the new world this discovery had opened to me, annoyed that I had not trusted my instincts, scared that I was now a prisoner but most of all I was overwhelmed by all of it.
There were no windows in the room so there was no way for me to know the time or where I was but throughout the hours of my explorations, I had determined I was in some kind of bedroom. There was a light switch near the door but when I flicked it, it did not work. I had been left some water and a sandwich but of course I did not eat nor drank either of them. I was not hungry and dining in the dark was not something that ever interested me. Plus, I had no idea what was in it, if it was some kind of fucked up trick to get me to trust Eric or some psychological warfare I was just not strong enough to process. Sure Eric had said he did not want me dead but I wasn't going to just believe him, just like that without any explanation.
Having your world ripped apart, not only leaves you in a mess, but kinda makes you distrustful. It felt as if everything I knew was a lie, I did not know what to believe and who to trust.
Looking back, I didn't know much about any of them including Eric. I had been so busy trying to make sense of my feelings for both him and Bill, I had barely spent any time with either or. Thinking about all the questions I had, a part of me felt a bit jaded. Why would I waste my time asking them if I couldn't even be sure that the answers I was going to receive were truths or just simply more lies?
Waiting.
It fucking sucks. My life suspended by a promise that he would return and explain to me what the fuck all of this was. I had so many questions and so little answers, I didn't know where to start.
Where should my questions start in general, like what the fuck is true from the vampire stories, how did they remain hidden or if killing people is that easy? Can he see himself in a mirror? Can he eat garlic? What about crosses? Holy water?
Should I asked him about his business, whether it is just a front for the horrible shit going on downstairs or is it a real one and this is just a by-product on the side, a onetime only deal? The attack on Pam, Lexi, Longshadow? Do I even want to fucking know?
Or maybe I should focus on him? What is his interest in me? Was he acting with me all along or does he genuinely give a fuck?
I felt a pang in my heart, I felt so naive. I wondered if that hypnotism is true. Can vampires really make you do anything with just a stare? Had he done it on me? It was possible I wouldn't even remember it!
I was lying on the bed trying to close my eyes in order to silence the voices in my head when I heard the door. Maybe it was finally the evening; of course he wouldn't come during the day, with the allergy to the sun and all. Or maybe they were immune to it and that was just a fantasy?
I looked up to the door, the outside light was lighting up the whole room. Eric had left it open and he was standing in front of it looking straight at me. I immediately sat up holding my left arm that was just getting worst. I had no energy left, my mouth was dried out and I felt nauseous forever making my head spin. But it did not matter, as if I had just had a shot of adrenaline, I watched him with my eyes wide open and we stared at each other for a while.
He broke the silence first.
"You are free to go Sookie, I kept you here today because I needed you safe until I could explain to you, be there for you. But, you are not a prisoner. So you can get up and leave, I can even call an ambulance for you. Or"
He paused, slowly walking to the bed and I held my breath until he sat beside me and placed his hand on one of my legs.
"Or you can give me a chance to explain, not as your boss but as a friend."
I exhale heavily, unable to choose between fear and curiosity. I looked away trying to make a decision. Was I really free to go? Or was it just a ruse to get me to listen, but then again he could just force me to listen too. I did not know what to do and my pain was driving me mad. Whatever I was going to do I needed to do it now. At a hospital I could get some kind of painkiller to finally stop the throbbing. That seemed like a great option to me.
I took a deep breath as if I was looking for some kind of hidden courage to get up and get the fuck out of here but who am I kidding. I couldn't even breathe without hurting. Chances are I was not free to go and he would kill me the minute he could. I mean vampires had kept their secret for so long, I was a human and I knew. It felt like I had nothing to lose and somehow I was accepting it. I considered giving in my curiosity; if I was going to die at least I would, knowing some kind of truth?
I closed my eyes and started laughing. How I fucking wish I could read his mind. It would make my choice so much easier, I had it fucking easy really. I mean all these years I had complained about my curse but what the hell, it had made my life easier when it came to human relationships. I knew who to trust and never doubted it because deep down I always knew I would know before they would even say anything. Their mind would give away their betrayal before they even realized they considered it. But Eric, I could only get sweet fuck all and it was hilarious because this time, my life depended on it and I did not have the ability. How fucking ironic!
Eric was staring at me, his face giving away nothing of what he was feeling but I could guess it was something along the lines of what the fuck is wrong with her, she's losing her shit.
Of course this just made me laugh even harder to the point I couldn't breathe. Death by laughter, wouldn't that be sweet?
"I" I managed to say between two laughs. "I can't" stop laughing came to mind but I could barely control it anymore. Maybe that's what it felt like to have a nervous breakdown?
"I can't hear you!" I exclaimed as if it was the only truth I could cling to. He didn't move, did not say anything but instead just watched me in my delirium.
"I can't fucking hear your thoughts Eric! Fucking vampires are immune to it. Isn't that fantastic?"
"What are you?" he asked and I snorted.
"Well I am Sookie Stackhouse, who are you?"
"Sookie, humans don't have telepathy. What are you?"
"You're one to talk!" I said offended he would call me anything but human. "Why are you toying with me?" I asked unsure whether I wanted to know or if it was a way for me to give him that open door where he would start laughing diabolically and let me know of his true intentions.
"I don't blame you" he replied and I frowned. It was still dark in the room and the only light source was the door but I saw his face, I saw the sadness in his eyes. "The world you knew doesn't actually exist, there are a whole lot of layers you don't know about and you do not know who to trust. I don't blame you, and I won't if you chose to leave."
"I can't walk" I said to him looking away.
"I will carry you myself then."
"No" I replied. The cat was out of the bag, might as well let him explain whatever bullshit and lies he wanted to feed me. Plus I felt so tired; I did not want to fight anymore.
"What do you want to know?"
I thought for a second.
"Is it true in the books, you guys can't go in the sun?"
"No we cannot, but holy water and crosses are not a problem. We can also see ourselves in a mirror; I have to keep up with this pretty face somehow."
He was pointing at himself and I chuckled. I wasn't in the mood but him cracking jokes at this point was pretty hilarious no matter how bad the joke was.
"What about stakes? Is that what happened to" I trailed off unable to speak his name.
"Yes I killed Longshadow by staking him. You can also sever the head from the body." I shivered at the words. Eric were speaking them with such a business tone you'd swear it is an everyday thing for him.
"I am sorry Sookie, you asked."
"Yeah I guess" I rolled over and instantly regretted my move after I felt my arm crack under the pressure. I yelped in pain and looked back at him.
"I need painkillers or something! If you are going to keep me prisoner here, I need to see a doctor." I took a deep breath. "Please."
"I told you, you are not a prisoner here. I kept you here for your own safety. You can choose to leave but I cannot guarantee your safety if you choose to do so."
"Why the fuck would you care Eric? You are a vampire; you eat people like me for lunch!"
I heard him growl and I automatically leaned the opposite way; half expecting him to pounce on me but he didn't move. He took a few deep breathe but really I wasn't sure why since he doesn't need to breathe but as he leaned towards me, I didn't dare move and I braced myself for what was to come. He stopped about half way from me and sighed heavily.
"You are scared of me." It wasn't a question but more like a connotation. "No matter what happens, I would never hurt you or let anyone touch a hair on your head."
I tried to steady my breathing, half of me wanted to believe him, but how could I possibly?
He got up from the bed and walked to the door where he hit the switch that did not worked for me earlier. For some reason, the lights turned on which made me close my eyes at the pain it caused. I had grew accustom to the darkness. When I could, I reopened them and found him staring at a window. What the hell? I had felt the entire walls during the day and that window was never there, how was that possible?
"I do not kill humans while I feed any longer." his tone had changed; he was cold, as if he was trying to keep it together. "I am very old, I do not need to, and I require very little blood."
"Oh well that's a fucking relief ain't it?"
I heard him growl louder, frustrated by my attitude, but what was he expecting anyways? I sighed heavily apologizing. So far he had been patient with me and sure I did not trust him but it was not a good reason for me to be mean and disrespectful either.
"I can heal you if you wish" he offered.
"What?" I enquired, not sure I had understood what he had said or even meant.
"Your arms, your blood loss, I can fix it."
"How?"
"Vampire blood has a particular effect on humans. It brings back their health, the physical one that is. But your mind." He stopped talking as if he was already regretting his words.
"Go on" I insisted. "What about the mind?"
"It is not always the same for every human but it tends to get tricked into…"
"Dreaming of you, obsessing about you? Heck even loving you?" I completed with a new sense of dread taking over me. 'Blood' that is why I had been obsessing about Bill even though I did not care for him. The fucking liar. I felt disgusting, used and then disposed of. The nausea was even stronger now that I felt like fodder, imagining what he had planned for me in the long run.
"Something like that" he said turning his attention back to the window. "I just wish to take away the pain." he simply added as a matter of fact.
"Then I need painkillers not some fucked up blood drinking. Jesus!"
"It was a bit premature" he concluded and I did not answer but I guess the question mark on my face was enough for him to continue.
"Offering you my blood, it was premature. I understand you being distrustful but you must at some point, give your trust to someone, I just hope you will choose wisely."
Someone knocked on the door which made me realize he had closed it. The person did not wait for an answer and barged in. Of course it was Pam.
"We need to go now. The autocrat's are already here along with Longshadow's maker.. We are running out of time." she said angrily never looking at me.
"Fine" is all he said before leaving the room at some super power speed. Another thing I guess vampires had that we didn't.
I looked back and forth between the door and Pamela who was still standing there with her arms crossed.
"I don't know what he sees in you" she said to me and I frowned. I couldn't stare at her too long, feeling almost guilty, staring at the hidden secret that must not come out. She had her fangs out and it made me incredibly uncomfortable.
"I am sorry I am such a pain in your ass" I replied sarcastically and she rolled her eyes.
"You are so desperately clueless, breather. He killed for you, something he will have to answer to. You might not see the gravity of the situation but without him you would be dead." She declared before storming off.
I blinked a couple time before my thoughts started flowing again. I mean what the hell had just happened? I tried to take deep breaths to calm my nerves and as I focused on it I realized I was clenching my teeth. I relaxed my jaw and pushed myself to the edge of the bed with my one good arm.
My head was spinning but it did not matter. I needed to get up and get out if just to find something to take care of the pain. The door was wide open and I couldn't see anyone. I was slowly starting to believe him about not being a prisoner although I didn't see the need to keep me all day just to talk to me about it. Most of the information he had given me didn't help my safety so I failed to see the necessity in keeping me here all day. At the same time, I had so many more questions and I felt we could have discussed a lot more if it wasn't for Pam's interruption.
I walked over to the door agreeing and having no doubt that I was in danger and it was possibly the only thought I could believe without any proof. It made complete sense and although I was still weary, Eric was right; I needed to trust someone and at that point he was the only one who had shown an interest in my well-being. Maybe I was being naïve right now, there was no way in trusting myself but I couldn't see any other way and I was terrified to think how many vampires would go after me now or anyone from my family.
The bitter taste of regret came to me as I stumbled in the lightly lit hallway. If this was Eric's bedroom, I assumed I was in his house? It felt as if I was in a basement which would make perfect sense for a vampire to live underground.
I came across a few other bedrooms and assumed they were for other vampires. The idea of a nest came to mind, and I was right smack dab in the middle of it. I reached a small black metal door with no windows. I pushed it with my good arm but it was difficult to open, it was as if it had some kind of vacuum seal. I pushed again using my back and this time it conceded. Since the door was sealed and looked like an outdoor one, I fully expected to be outside at this moment but instead to my dismay, I ended up in the wet and disgusting basement from the night before. The vacuum seal made sense to me, that part of the basement, call it living quarters or something was completely dry and habitable while this half not so much.
All the lights were on and I could hear people talking. I held my breath as much as I could and tried to listen to their conversation without making any noise. I scanned the room quickly and concluded that it was full of vampires.
"You left me with no choice Northman. Killing a vampire for what? A human?" an angry voice said. I peeked around the corner and saw a young woman, elegantly dressed pointing a finger at Eric.
"Your majesty, in my defense" Eric started but she cut him off.
"I won't hear it here, not now. Your trial is set for the 15th of this month. You better have a good reason for your actions." She said and then snapped her fingers as if she was asking for something. "Miss Stackhouse why don't you join us so I can get a good look at you." She added as my heart sank to the ground. After a few seconds, I slowly walked over to them holding my arm and trying to stay focused as not to lose consciousness.
"Silly human, you thought you can sneak up on us? I will let you in a little secret of ours" she said smiling, her lips perfectly coloured red. "We have great hearing. Your heartbeat is so loud!" and she laughed it off as if it was the joke of the century. "She is pretty. Is she a telepath or not?" she asked Bill and I choked a little. Had Eric told them already? How was that protecting me in any way?
Bill nodded positively and my heart skipped a beat. Eric was staring at me, so intensely; I really wish I could read his mind. Why would he betrayed me, tell them my secret?
"She cannot be glamoured, your majesty," he said as if I was not even in the room. "According to her grand mother, she was born with it."
My grand mother would never tell him that. Bill was seriously pissing me off right now, I mean it is one thing to violate me to get information, but to snoop in my Gran's mind, I couldn't stand it.
I kept on staring at Eric. I did not want to be a part of the conversation. He was my only option, maybe he would tell me what to do, make a signal, something but he stayed emotionless and I looked over at her.
"Before tonight I would have told you telepaths don't exist, but now, what the hell do I know? But one thing I can tell you" I paused trying to catch myself. I felt drunk, maybe it was the lack of blood or food or both. "I don't know why I can read minds but I cannot read yours."
"Oh and we are supposed to just take your word for it?" she said sarcastically.
I placed a knee on the floor, finding most of my energy was quickly leaving my body. Letting Eric help me right now seemed to be the logical thing to do, the only thing to do. I looked over at him and he had taken a step in my direction.
Eric spoke up, "Your majesty, I assure you, she cannot read our minds. I have sent her plenty of images and thoughts; she has never reacted, not even once. She could be a great asset." I gasped, unable to react to his impossible words. I am not a slave, not an object and certainly not an asset. I refused to be used that way, against my own kind! He took a step in my direction, he knew I was deteriorating. "The human is mine; I request permission to attend to her wounds." He declared and no matter how tired I was it pissed me right off. His? Sookie Stackhouse the asset, the object? Oh wait, maybe more like a fucking meal.
"I have laid claim on her long before you Northman" Bill said right away and it made me sick. I am nobody's! I wanted to scream it at the top of my lungs but I couldn't find my voice, heck I could barely keep my eyes open.
"Enough" she said still watching me like a cat watching a little mouse.
"Northman, get the human in order. She will be a great asset indeed. As for whose pet she is, she is mine. Now, Black Thorn will make their appearance in two weeks, I sure hope your bar will be ready for them, their fan base is quite large I heard. And of course, get ready for a trial."
Their conversation seemed to get further and further away from me. I could barely hold myself together, feeling heavy and weak and to think of it, it was a miracle I was still standing. I needed to ask Eric to bring me to the hospital, I needed a blood transfusion, a cast, and I needed a doctor. But when I look up in his direction, I couldn't see, maybe my eyes were closed?
I heard him say "very well" at the distance and then I felt the slight touch of his arms sweeping me off the floor. I smiled, well at least mentally anyway. I looked around and I saw he was bringing me back to his bedroom.
"No" I softly mumbled and he stopped walking.
"Sookie," he whispered, or maybe he was talking normally and I just couldn't hear well anymore. "You are dying; there is no time for the hospital."
I closed my eyes at the weight of his words. I was dying.
"Let me heal you." He said as he started walking again. "Trust me." He added and I didn't respond.
I did not have a choice and we both knew it, yet I hesitated. What had happened with that woman, with Bill, I couldn't possibly trust him? Not now.
He placed me on the bed after what felt like an eternity. My eyes were closed; I had no energy to reopen them. I guess my lips were parted because I felt something on them which rolled into my mouth. It was a liquid, blood… His blood.
It was not instant, but I could feel the energy from it slowly creeping into my own body like some kind of elixir of life. How ironic; he was dead, yet his blood brought me life.
I let the slight hum rocked me to a serene state. I felt better already, bringing my hand in front of me. His arm was hovering above my lips; it didn't take me much to pull his wrist to them. I wanted more, I needed more. His skin was cool, it was refreshing and as my lips sucked slightly on his wrist, I felt more alive, closer to him than I could ever possibly imagined.
My hearing was improving, I could hear myself breathe, and I could hear him moan. I was more alert, now aware of the effect of the blood on my own person. If it wasn't for the tiredness and the sleepy state I was in, I would have taken it as an invitation. I moaned too, feeling my own desire burning through. He didn't move, didn't act on it, yet I knew how he felt and didn't doubt he knew how I felt too. He took away his wrist and I mumbled my protest but he didn't respond to it so I took it upon myself to lean closer to him. He had broken the closeness too quickly, I needed to feel him. Without pushing me away, he guided my head with the same hand I had drunk from. It was healed already which amazed me. He placed my head onto his lap, now realizing he was sitting beside me, his back against the beds headboard. Had he been this way the entire time?
He gently stroke my head, he whispered I needed to rest. Something in his voice was different. I frowned, something was wrong I knew it. I tried to talk but my mouth was dry. I shifted slightly but he did his best to keep me in the same position.
My arm was still throbbing with pain but at least now it didn't feel as if I was dying.
A\N: Hope you guys are still enjoying the story :) Thank you to Kleannhouse for the awesome beta work. Maybe one day Ill post the before and after so you all appreciate how amazing she is haha!
