Shyla, apart from the daily trips to the hospital to see the doctor responsible for her medical care, remained in her bed for the week after she had got uncomfortable on the couch with either Derpina or Lin by her side at all times. Sometimes Monika came to sit with them when the babies were sleeping or Tenzin when he wasn't busy helping Korra or with council business since the council were busy handing control to the newly elected President. Out of Lin and Derpina, Derpina spent the most time with Shyla, partially because she refused to sleep at all until Shyla was off the ventilator at least and partly because Lin still had her police duties to attend to. Eight days after she had been discharged, Shyla's breathing and, on her insistence, feeding tube were removed by the doctor. He gave her a quick once over and smiled, "there, your lungs have healed enough for you to breathe by yourself" he smiled happily down at the girl who was sat in a chair in front of him. Shyla was also walking short distances, her bandaged legs caused too much pain for her to walk further than ten to fifteen feet and therefore Derpina insisted that she still carry her most of the time. Derpina teleported them home again and Lin grinned at Shyla when she saw she was tube free, Shyla smiled back and nudged Derpina indicating that all she wanted to do was sleep.
Derpina picked her up again, having put her down for a moment to take her coat off which not only kept Shyla warm in the cold hospital but also served to hide her bandaged arms then carried her quickly upstairs and to the bed. Derpina led next to Shyla and wrapped her arms around her, avoiding the tender areas on both her upper legs, her arms and her tummy. Shyla hid her face in Derpina, relieved but also shy after their forced physical separation as a result of Shyla's ventilator. "I love you Shyla…" Derpina whispered contentedly and kissed her
"I love you more" Shyla whispered back
"impossible" Derpina smiled, she kissed Shyla and subtly removed the blade from Shyla's pillowcase without her noticing. Shyla giggled happily, her sorrows forgotten for a brief period of time. Derpina slipped the blade into her pocket then she slipped her hand down the side of her side of the bed, she scooped up the bottle of pills and put that in her pocket too. Shyla led back in Derpina's arms and Derpina kissed the bandages wrapped around her wrists while Shyla cried. Derpina kissed her legs then her wrists again
"I'm so stupid" Shyla shook her head
"no, you're not!" Derpina exclaimed
"I am"
"no, you're not babe" Derpina took her top off, exposing her scars on her chest, tummy and wrists, "we just suffer"
"it's you" Shyla whispered, gently touching the biggest scar on Derpina's battered body, one that went from her left hip to under her left arm and was well over a centimetre wide. The scar was that big because the age that Derpina had lived in didn't have much more than basic medicine and healing hadn't yet been invented since the vast majority of lion turtles had banned bending within city limits so the wound healed naturally over many years. Derpina was able to speed up the end-phase of the healing using her firebending healing before she went to hibernate in the star, but the damage was done and the scar was irreversible
"what do you mean?" Derpina asked
"you suffer too" Shyla breathed
"yea… I do" Derpina admitted, "I have harmed less while I've been with you" Derpina smiled
"good" Shyla smiled and Derpina kissed her, "I love you" Shyla whispered to Derpina between kisses. Derpina slipped the knife out from under their bed and hid it in her pocket while Shyla drifted off to sleep in her arms. She finally began snoring gently and Derpina carefully extracted herself from Shyla's tight embrace. Derpina opened the door silently and nodded at Tenzin who walked in to watch Shyla sleep so Derpina could go to the toilet and sort out the blades and pills she had removed from their room.
*
Derpina crept downstairs and went into the kitchen after using the bathroom. She grumbled, the cold blades uncomfortable on her arms and in her pockets. "Lin? You around?" Derpina called, having placed the wide assortment of blades and pill bottles on the table
"yes" she answered
"I've got the stuff out of Shy's side of the bed and near the bed, I'll search our entire room later while you're all eating"
"okay…" Lin replied and walked over, she saw how many blades were on the table as well as multiple tubs of pills, "what's all this…?" she asked
"stuff from Shy's side of the bed and several hiding places near the bed," Lin's eyes softened in shock. Most of the blades had dried blood on them, especially the kitchen knife she clearly favoured and which she had taken from Air Temple Island's kitchen. One of the pill bottles was also almost empty. "my girl… Lin whispered sadly. Derpina grabbed Lin, teared up and cried into her shoulder. "it's okay Derpina, she'll be okay…"
Derpina hugged Lin tighter and cried into her shoulder for a few more seconds, "please help me keep Shy safe… please" Derpina sobbed
"I will. Whatever it takes" Lin vowed
"thank you, Lin,"
Monika walked in and saw Derpina crying into Lin's shoulder. "what's wrong?" she asked, surprised. Derpina simply pointed at the kitchen table and the assorted instruments of self-harm. Monika gasped in surprise and shock
"a… all from our room" Derpina stuttered, Monika teared up and Derpina cried openly
"poor child…" Monika gasped
"come here Monika…" Derpina suggested, she did so and the three of them hugged tightly. Lin closed her eyes seeking solace from the support of the woman she thought of as her other daughter and her partner, "we'll help her through this" Derpina promised
"of course" Monika agreed
"don't ever leave her, either of you…" Derpina stated seriously
"we won't" Monika vowed for them both, Derpina hugged them both tightly
"we'll be okay" Lin smiled
"you promise?"
"cross my heart" Lin vowed
"good. Good." Derpina smiled, "how will we keep Shy safe?" she asked, wanting to pick the other two minds for ideas
"watching over her"
"I can keep the telepathic link open all the time?" Derpina suggested
"really?" Lin whispered, reassured
"yea I can. I'll try my best to keep her safe as you all have your own jobs to do" Derpina smiled kindly
"I'll take off work for a few weeks" Lin stated
"if you're sure, Lin?"
"positive" Lin nodded firmly, "I'm a mother before the Chief" Derpina smiled at her and she sighed
"I'm sorry this has happened, Lin" Derpina whispered
"She's just like me" Lin said sadly
"pardon, Lin?" Derpina said in a low voice
"I used to be like this" she admitted, Monika looked at her sadly, clearly, she already knew
"you harmed?" Derpina said sadly, before she hugged Lin tightly
"my scars faded, but yes"
"I'd better go and check on Shy in a minute" Derpina whispered, "Tenzin's keeping an eye on her..."
*
Derpina went upstairs and slipped into their room, Tenzin had fallen asleep and Shyla was limping around, searching for a blade. "Shyla..." Derpina sighed
"I wasn't doing anything..." Shyla blushed
Derpina kicked Tenzin's chair viciously, pissed off with him and the force of the kick nearly threw him out of the chair. "come here babe" Derpina whispered. Tenzin jumped and woke immediately, Shyla walked into Derpina's arms quickly, wanting a hug
"I can't trust you with anything can I Tenzin..." Derpina growled angrily, she turned her attention back to Shyla and stroked her cheek while rubbing her back as she burst into tears again
"I can't stop!" she sobbed
"yes, you can" Derpina glared at Tenzin,YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE KEEPING HER SAFE, TENZIN!Derpinascreamed telepathically, Lin jumped when Derpina's voice echoed through her mind
"I'm exhausted" Tenzin sighed
"I'd noticed..." Derpina growled coldly, her tone made Tenzin fear for his life. "now I can't trust you with Shy's safety..."
"what's going on?!" Lin exclaimed, having heard the telepathic shout and ran upstairs in a panic
"useless here..." Derpina kicked Tenzin's chair again, "fell asleep while he was supposed to be keeping Shy safe. I found him asleep and Shy looking for blades"
"son of a..." Lin began, "YOU DUMBASS TENZIN!!!" Lin bellowed, Tenzin had the good sense to look abashed and ashamed
Shyla grabbed Derpina tightly, "Shy... its otay, babe, its otay"
"stop fighting..." Shyla pleaded, Derpina covered her ears and held her tighter. Tenzin and Lin stopped shouting, they looked over at Shyla and walked over, hugging her.
Derpina stroked her cheeks, "I'm scared" Shyla whimpered
"I know baby" Derpina kissed her gently and glared at Tenzin. Shyla shivered even after Derpina had clambered into bed with Shyla and wrapped her up tight in both her body and the blankets, she was going through withdrawals of both the drugs she had overdosed on and the self-harm. Derpina cuddled her and kissed her wrists, Shyla smiled and Derpina grinned back. "I love you baby Shy. Is there any name you'd like me to call you?" Derpina asked, "like a nickname?"
"just Shy"
"otay Shy" she brushed her lips gently against Shyla's
"I love you"
*
Derpina looked at her arms and smiled weakly, "we ought to change those dressings, Shy..." Shyla frowned at her, "I'm sorry baby... but I don't want them to become infected" Derpina smiled at Shyla, trying to calm her. Shyla was used to having the dressings changed of course, the nurses at the hospital had done it twice a day while she was in the hospital and then once a day when she went in for her check-ups but it had always been a terribly agonising experience, every single time and since her wounds weren't healing yet, the pain levels hadn't decreased at all. Shyla had always ended up screaming at the top of her lungs from the agony. "Lin?" Derpina called, "can you come and help me change Shy's dressings?"
"you mean hold her down?" Lin's voice floated out of her room where she was sat on her bed reading a newspaper
"no of course not!!!" Derpina exclaimed, utterly appalled, "I mean help me cut dressings and bathe her arms and stuff like that!"
"okay" Lin called back, Derpina kissed Shyla's arms before she started to unwrap the bandages. Shyla flinched, preparing herself for the pain
Lin walked in and cleaned her hands as Derpina just had while Derpina continued to unwrap the bandages on Shyla's right arm, "what a lot of bandages..." Derpina gasped while Shyla panted from the pain. "can you keep Shy calm, Lin?" Derpina said kindly as she reached the bloodstained bandages and Shyla started to hyperventilate, the anxiety from the anticipated pain too much. Lin nodded and stroked Shyla's cheek. Derpina took the last layer of the bloodstained bandage off, she stopped dead and gasped when she saw the massive centimetre deep wounds covering the majority of her arm, the wounds had been stitched back together successfully but it was still obvious that the wounds were serious. "S... Shy!!"she exclaimed, "spirits!" Derpina fought back tears while she cleaned Shyla's cuts of both fresh and dried blood, Shyla sat there reasonably still for the most part but occasionally she twitched involuntarily when the pain spiked. An unaware Korra entered the room and flinched, gasping when she saw the extent and severity of Shyla's injuries, having grown up in isolation she hadn't come across self-harm before. Lin kept hugging Korra tightly, doing anything she could to take Shyla's mind off of the pain. "Hi Korra..." Derpina muttered, somewhat distracted by the grisly task she had undertaken. Derpina rinsed Shyla's cuts one last time with water to wash away the antiseptic liquid she had used a syringe to fill the cuts to clean them, the antiseptic stung in the wounds but Shyla was impressed she hadn't started screaming yet.
"what happened?" Korra gasped, seeing Shyla's arm. Derpina had finished drying Shyla's arm, Lin handed the sterile dressings and bandages to Derpina, opening them as they were needed but careful to not touch the bandages themselves. Derpina made quicker work of wrapping the wounds back up than she had unwrapping or cleaning them.
"it's Shyla's cutting, Korra" Derpina whispered, fighting back tears.
"want me to help?" Korra asked Derpina who had moved on to Shyla's left arm. Because of her isolation and resulting naivety, she hadn't realised someone could do such a thing to themselves nor did she understand Shyla's reasoning for doing it but she wanted to help Shyla in any way she could
"wipe my eyes?" Derpina muttered too quietly for anyone but Korra to hear, "I can't cos I'm covered in Shy's blood" Korra did so promptly using her waterbending, she knew any delay would only bring Shyla more suffering. "thank you" Derpina said, nodding. "can you help me by handing me the stuff I need to clean and dress Shy's cuts?" Derpina asked kindly and calmly, "that way Lin can focus on keeping her calm"
"okay..." Korra agreed, "what ya need?"
"gotta get all this off first" Derpina grimaced, "while I'm doing this can you scrub your hands?" she smiled encouragingly at Lin and Shyla, "Lin, try singing to Shyla..." she suggested. Lin immediately started humming gently to Shyla who calmed down considerably almost immediately, Korra finished scrubbing and Derpina removed the last of the bandages. "these cuts aren't as deep" Derpina reassured them, "but there are more of them." Shyla groaned in considerable discomfort and Lin hummed louder, again striving to take Shyla's mind off of what was going on around her. Lin, Korra and Derpina's efforts worked, Derpina was able to clean and dress Shyla's left arm and left leg, as well as her stomach without difficulty. "almost there babe..." Derpina grinned encouragingly, she looked down and stopped for the first time since she unwrapped the first bandage, what she saw made for a very grim outlook. Blood sept through the outermost layer of bandage on Shyla's right leg, clearly, whatever was beneath those bandages wouldn't be a cinch to undress, clean or redress. Derpina gulped, evidently frightened and started to undo the outermost layer of bandages. Shyla groaned loudly and squirmed in Lin's arms. Lin tightened her grip on her distressed daughter, desperately trying to calm her. "please Shy, try not to move" Derpina insisted. She finished unwrapping Shyla's leg, blood was already running down her leg only seconds after Derpina had removed the bandage and collecting in small pools on the sheet Derpina had put down to protect their bed. The doctors had clearly attempted to stitch the cuts shut, but the stitches were failing in the deepest cut that went nearly if not all the way down to the bone. Obviously someone had repaired Shyla's arteries and veins else she would've bled out in the short time her leg had been unwrapped. "oh Shy..." Derpina whispered, stifling a sob, they were by far the worst injuries Derpina had ever seen and she had inflicted some pretty bad ones on herself.
"what?!" she exclaimed
"it's better that you don't see... Lin, don't let her see" Derpina advised the young woman's mother who was also crying but because of the way she was holding Shyla, Shyla couldn't see that she was crying. Derpina gently wiped up the overflowing blood, careful not to jostle Shyla.
"show me" Shyla demanded
Derpina sighed and nodded at Lin, who relaxed her grip enough for Shyla to pull herself upright enough to be able to look down and see the cuts on her leg, none of which she had any recollection of doing. Korra gasped when she peeked over Derpina's shoulder. "I... I know, Korra..." Derpina sighed.
"this is terrible..." Korra whispered
"please Korra, don't make me cry"
"what?" Korra whispered sadly
Derpina looked at Korra, a pained expression on her face, "my poor baby girl Shy" Derpina sobbed, having burst into tears. Korra moved in quickly and hugged Derpina. "I failed you Shy, I'm sorry" Derpina whispered
"honey, it's okay" Shyla breathed through the pain
Derpina forced herself to stop crying so she could finish dressing Shyla's cuts. Shyla looked down at them, not remembering making them. "what is that?" she gasped through the pain
"they're cuts, Shyla... self-harm" Derpina explained sadly
"but... I don't remember"
"dissociation..." Derpina sighed sadly
"what?" Shyla breathed
"you must've dissociated, you have no memory of making the cuts"
"how is that possible"
"it may have been some sort of self-defence against the pain or feelings. But you must've dissociated while cutting this leg" Derpina sighed, knowing her fiancé cannot be left alone, even for a minute
"clearly..." Shyla winced, "OW!" she yelled, Derpina had attempted to clean the wounds on Shyla's leg of dried blood, having up to then carefully gone around the cuts. Shyla screamed in pain while Derpina did the same as she had done to the deep cuts on Shyla's arm to the cuts on her leg, she screamed and screamed and screamed when the syringe was pressed into the wound to flush out any contaminants or infection with antiseptic. When Shyla wasn't screaming she was panting for air.
"shhhh" Lin pleaded with her, holding her tight.
Derpina attempted to heal Shyla's wounds but she wasn't able to make much progress before Shyla screamed "STOP!!!!!!!" in desperation. Lin tightened her grip and started to rock her daughter, she was humming and rocking and gently resting her head on the top of Shyla's, but nothing was calming her. Derpina cried at causing Shyla pain, "don't touch me!" Shyla panted loudly, "it hurts"
"I love you" Derpina whispered
"I love you" Shyla replied in between pants. "ow..." Shyla groaned as Derpina applied new dressings the attempt to heal Shyla abandoned, for now
"I'm so sorry babe..." Derpina whispered, speeding up her efforts to wrap Shyla's leg
"I love you" Shyla grimaced
"all done!" Derpina exclaimed, proud of how Shyla had held up under what must've been near intolerable pain
"thank you..." Shyla mouthed, too weak and too sore to even speak. Derpina led next to her panting fiancé
"babe... I'm here" Derpina whispered after quietly slipping off the bed to wash her hands while Shyla was in a semi-conscious state from the pain and blood loss
"hold me" Shyla pleaded, Derpina did as she asked and wrapped her arms tightly around her, the floodgates opened and suddenly Shyla was sobbing uncontrollably in Derpina's arms
*
After in excess of several hours of crying into Derpina with Lin gently stroking her head and Korra keeping a silent and watchful eye over them, Shyla's sobs slowly reduced. "you're safe babe" Derpina reassured her.
Shyla smiled a tiny vulnerable pain soaked smile and Derpina put her hand gently on Shyla's now wrapped right leg, "ow!" she exclaimed before she felt a weird sensation in her leg, it was as if the flesh and muscles in her leg were stitching themselves back together. "what is that!?" Shyla yelped
"me" Derpina whispered, her voice gentle
"huh?" Shyla groaned, in her befuddled state she hadn't understood what Derpina meant, she also was confused as to why Derpina's voice had the familiar mystical quality to it
"I'm healing your leg"
"I see" Shyla had noticed Derpina's eyes had also changed
A few minutes later the weird sensations stopped. Shyla's leg felt a lot better since all but the deepest cut, the one that actually reached the bone had been healed to enough of an extent for them to no longer have damaged Shyla's muscles. Derpina had been unable to make much headway with the deepest because every time she had moved in to heal it, Shyla had screamed uncontrollably in absolute agony. "I've done as much as I can" Derpina panted slightly, drenched in sweat once she had done the same to the deepest wounds on Shyla's other leg as well as her arms.
"I'm sorry" Shyla whispered before Derpina went off to have her shower
"why?" Derpina whispered
"I'm a failure" she stated bluntly
"no, you are not, Shyla Beifong!" Derpina exclaimed
"what?"
"you are not a failure"
*
Derpina rushed through her shower as quickly as she could and although she felt better she was now clean without a single drop of Shyla's blood on her, she could hardly call the shower relaxing. she was too busy fretting over whether Shyla was alright or hearing Shyla scream in her head in a flashback-type recollection, again, again, and again. Derpina desperately wanted the shower to wash away what she had just had to do and will almost certainly need to do again the next day but she had no such luck. Derpina finished her shower and dried quickly, she walked in to the bedroom again to find Lin still holding Shyla, her trousers still stained with blood but the cover was gone. "Go have a shower Lin" Derpina instructed, she saw Korra burning the sheet and dirty bandages outside through the window. Lin grumbled but left quickly, clearly torn about leaving Shyla but desperate for the shower that awaited her.
"I am a failure" Shyla grumped quietly, watching Derpina pick up some paper
"no, you're not babe" Derpina replied firmly, Shyla sighed sadly but perked up slightly when Derpina kissed her forehead
"I love you so much"
"I love you more" Derpina replied, a grin on her face.
Even after all of that, Shyla thought,here is my Derpina, still trying to win in our game of one-upmanship. Shylawatched Derpina read through the paper until she had noticed that Derpina had stopped and was rereading the same line several times, "what are those...?" Shyla inquired warily
"doc's notes" Derpina replied
"what do they say?"
"clean and redress wounds daily at eleven in the morning, administer intravenous painkillers four times a day, at six in the morning, noon, six in the afternoon and midnight" Derpina said all of that, stuff they already knew but Shyla was almost certain she wouldn't like what was coming next, "there's also been some temporary damage to your stomach from the overdose so you're going to continue to need a feeding tube and also damage to your heart, so it's going to have to be monitored" she pulled a white box with cables out of the box, "guess that's what this is" Derpina muttered, shrugging
"what?!" Shyla exclaimed, "NO!" Derpina ran to her side and wrapped her arms around her. "I won't be having a feeding tube!!" Shyla declared angrily
"I'm sorry babe..." Derpina whispered
"no!"
"baby..." Derpina whispered, looking down
"I said no!"
"if you won't let me take care of you for yourself, will you let me take care of you for the babies?"
"for the children" Shyla grumbled reluctantly
"and for me" Derpina smiled encouragingly, "I love you, Shy. This will hopefully only be short term while your stomach recovers"
"it will" Shyla confirmed forcefully
Derpina led close to Shyla with her head on Shyla's chest and looked up at her with adoration in her eyes. Derpina stroked her cheek "I love you" she smiled, "I'll be back in a minute" she promised before leaving their cosy but largish room and returned a few minutes later with two of the babies in her arms, Korra close behind with the other two
"my babies" Shyla gasped, the babies smiled, cooed and giggled when they saw their mother, "awww" she grinned
"for these little ones?" Derpina encouraged, once Korra had put then two she had been carrying in their cots
"always"
"so, you're going to let me place the tube before you go to bed?" Derpina whispered so Korra, who was leaving the room didn't hear
"no" Shyla said shortly
"but babe..." Derpina whispered, "you need it"
"no I don't! I eat fine!" Shyla looked down, "well I'm eating now" Shyla declared
"we'll try it" Derpina grinned. Too lazy and too busy comforting Shyla, Derpina used her telepathy to ask Lin to make Shyla some food. Lin bought the food in, noodles,nice and simple Derpina thought, relieved. "not sure you're gonna be able to stomach the food" Derpina whispered once Lin had left. Shyla took the food and carefully ate it slowly while watching the babies who had dozed off
"see?" Shyla grunted, her mouth full of noodles, "I'm fine"
"it hasn't actually reached your stomach yet..." Derpina rubbed her stomach, "but I'm hopeful"
"me too" Shyla smiled
"woah..." Derpina grabbed her wrists gently, below the areas covered by the bandages, "babe slow down, not too much"
"what?"
"don't eat it too fast, I know it's only noodles but if you eat it too fast it might come back up"
"I'm okay" Shyla smiled and Derpina hugged her.
Shyla sighed when the noodles reached her stomach, she groaned but managed to keep it down after some deep breathing. Derpina smiled and kissed her tummy quickly, making Shyla smile. Shyla groaned again and started to feel sick, breathing in and out. "you otay?" Derpina asked quickly
"fine" she gasped
"really" she nodded
"yes" Shyla nodded again but she was feeling sick. Derpina held her and kissed her, suddenly Shyla jolted upright and ran awkwardly into the bathroom, still limping a fair amount from her leg wound
"baby...?" Derpina called, she heard a splashing sound as Shyla threw up the contents of her stomach. "baby!" Derpina exclaimed and ran into the bathroom to tend to Shyla who groaned and held her tummy. Shyla looked around weakly to see Derpina kneeling next to her. she groaned again, Derpina grabbed some toilet roll and wiped the remnants of her meal off of her mouth gently, Shyla panted and Derpina rubbed her back. "all up?" Derpina asked kindly
"most of it" Shyla sighed. Derpina kissed her mouth lovingly, "my breath stinks" Shyla admitted
"I don't care" Derpina smiled and Shyla frowned, "what's wrong, babe?" Derpina whispered, worried about the girl she loved, "you're a fighter and I'm proud of you" Derpina encouraged
"I have to have that damn tube" Shyla whispered
"I still love you"
"I love you too" Shyla groaned while Derpina helped her back to the bed, she closed her eyes and Derpina helped her sit down. Shyla led there quietly next to Derpina, her depression worsened due to the situation she now found herself in. Once she had moved the babies to their own cots, Derpina played with Shyla's hair and slowly she fell asleep
*
"Shy..." Derpina whispered and shook Shyla awake, "baby... I'm sorry, it's just that I've gotta place the tube"
"fuck." Shyla groaned, irritated, "I'm sleeping!" Derpina looked down sadly and a single tear ran down her face, "I'll do it later" Shyla grunted dismissively before she turned over carelessly
"it needs to be in all night, Shy"
"then I won't do it! My life won't depend on that thing," Shyla grumbled, "take it back to the doctor"
"you can't eat... babe if I take it back they'll probably recall you back to the hospital." Derpina whispered reluctantly, "please? For tonight, then we can try food again tomorrow, I promise"
"no" Shyla turned away from Derpina, thinking that it would be better for all involved that she wasted away and died
"you'd leave our children" Derpina whispered
"what? What are you talking about?" Shyla turned back
"if you waste away babe then you won't be there for the kids?" Derpina whispered sadly, having used her telepathic abilities to monitor Shyla since she got back from the hospital
"they don't need me anyway" Shyla growled, she was upset she had forgotten about Derpina's ability to read her mind
"they do, babe, I do too"
"but why me..." Shyla wondered out loud "I'm worthless"
"because you are the girl I fell in love with, and you are the babies' mother"
"I don't deserve it" Shyla gasped, crying
"you deserve it, you deserve more than me and I don't deserve someone as amazing as you, I'm the luckiest girl alive" with that, Shyla cried more and Derpina held her tighter
"I'm scared" Shyla whispered
"why, Shy?"
"I'm not strong enough for this"
"yes, you are. Let's just get through tonight with this thing..." Derpina kicked the table with the medical box on it, "then tomorrow we can try food again?"
"okay" Shyla nodded reluctantly, closing her eyes. Derpina rolled out of bed reluctantly, dragged herself to the bathroom, taking the medical scrub equipment with her. She scrubbed her arms and hands then prepared the enteral tube. Shyla held her breath angrily, angry at herself that she had ended up needing a feeding tube my own fucking stupidity caused this, I should've done a better job of killing myself
"please calm down babe" Derpina soothed, Shyla looked away. "look at it" Derpina held it up for her to see, "it's tiny, you probably won't even feel it when it's in" she sighed, "I need you to be looking at me so I can put it in"
"is this really the only way? THE ONLY WAY?" Shyla raised her voice
"shhh, the children" Derpina reminded her, "it's the tube or the hospital babe, I'm sorry, its states as much clearly in the notes" Derpina replied reluctantly
"fine, get it over with"
"I'm sorry, so so sorry" Derpina sighed, she gently pushed the tube up Shyla's nose, she handed Shyla a drink with her other free hand, "drink this" she encouraged. Shyla did so and the tube went past her mouth and down her throat. Shyla coughed and Derpina pushed the tube past Shyla's ruined stomach, using heatbending to guide it. "I love you" Derpina encouraged, she got some tape to stick the tube to Shyla's face, finally, she tested the tube's position
"I hate this!" Shyla coughed, trying to sneeze and cough the tube out of her, "go to the doctor and demand a better way to help me help myself!!" Shyla exclaimed, "I refuse another night of this!"
"it can be our little secret" Derpina whispered and she kissed Shyla's nose where the tube entered it, "only me, Lin and you need know about it"
"I don't want mom to know!"
"otay,our little secret then" Derpina whispered, "Lindoesn't know but she's the one most likely to come in at night to check up on you, and me"
"then I will hide in the blankets or something! Please don't let her see it"
"of course, babe" Derpina kissed her and started to hook the feed bag to the pump and tube, "done" Derpina whispered, she switched the pump on and started the pump, hiding it under the bed. "all done" Derpina whispered, trying to soothe her girlfriend
"now to be dependent on a fucking bag" Shyla growled
"how could I make you feel better about having this thing? Any way? Anything at all, just say. Other than me removing it, of course"
"there won't be a way" Shyla groaned, she looked away
"sure? I feel terrible that you've got this"
"yes" Shyla sighed, the tube scratching her throat, she growled in annoyance at the piece of tubing in her throat
"baby..." Derpina looked at her sadly
"what? What do you want?" Shyla groaned
"I've got to put your heart monitor on"
Shyla laughed coldly, "HA, AHA. NO"
"baby please don't make this a fight"
"I refuse this equipment"
"please..." Derpina whispered, tearing up, "baby please"
"Derpina no, stop crying"
"I don't want you to need this stuff either" Derpina held it up, "it's a few pads babe"
"do you want me to sleep?" Shyla asked
"yes, but that's why you need the pads, to monitor your heart while you sleep. You damaged it with the overdose, they repaired most of the damage but your heart is still weak and recovering, please?"
"for one night..." Shyla conceded
"it'd only take one night for you to die babe" Derpina sighed and Shyla huffed. Derpina gently lifted Shyla's night top that she wore in bed, stuck the pads gently on to her chest and connected them up to the machine, "there" Derpina smiled, "that wasn't too bad, was it?" Derpina whispered encouragingly, she kissed her. "can we snuggle?" Derpina inquired
"I feel chained..." Shyla grumbled
"I'm sorry babe, is there anything I can do to help you feel better? Suggest anything, doesn't matter how stupid it is, anything to make you feel better, please baby, suggest it now" Derpina whispered, she kissed her before she continued, "I'll do anything to help you feel better about it"
"nothing. Nothing at all, but schedule a doctor's appointment, I want to complain"
"let's snuggle..." Derpina smiled, she led next to Shyla
"fine" Shyla groaned, she choked on her tube and remained awake all night. Derpina snuggled with her and played with Shyla's hair, she sang songs all night to try to keep her calm and happy
"are you sure it's worth it?" Shyla choked again on the tube
"what do you mean, babe?"
"me choking like this because of this tube"
"yes, you need the tube to live babe. I promise we can try food again this morning and tonight. We'll keep trying it as much as we can"
"please" Shyla pleaded, "I can't do this"
"as soon as you can eat without puking it up then you can come off the tube, I swear" Derpina promised
"thank you"
*
Good morning" Shyla sighed sarcastically and smiled bitterly, it was nine in the morning and the bag of feed was empty, "wow..." Shyla whispered
"you otay babe...?" Derpina smiled, she turned the pump off and threw the bag in the trash.
"yea..." Shyla groaned, "nauseated"
"shall I get that thing out of you?"
"please" Shyla begged, Derpina gently pulled the tube out through Shyla's nose, "ow!" she exclaimed, Derpina pulled the tube out fully and Shyla sneezed, "ow!" Shyla repeated
"it's out baby" Derpina reassured her
"thank you" Shyla grinned before she groaned
Derpina smiled and held her closer, she chucked the tube over her shoulder and guided it to the trash with heatbending, "I love you babe" she muttered. Lin knocked and entered carrying breakfast as Derpina finished taking Shyla's heart monitor pads off, toast for Derpina and porridge for Shyla
"thank you, mom" Shyla smiled, "easy on the stomach"
Lin left, leaving the two of them to their breakfasts, "hopefully you won't puke this one up"
Shyla ate her breakfast slowly and got sick after, Derpina carried Shyla quickly to the toilet, getting puked on the whole while, "sorry!!"
"no need to apologise" Derpina smiled, rubbing her back. Derpina was immensely relieved that Shyla's feeding tube had bypassed her stomach since Shyla had puked up her meal
Lin walked back in and her face whitened at the sight of all the puke, "hi, mom" Shyla groaned
"hey, Shyla..." Lin whispered, "you okay?"
"yea..." Shyla whispered, "just nausea. " Lin looked at Derpina and Derpina shook her head
"I'm sorry Lin, I can't tell you, its medical stuff between me, Shy and that doctor. I swore I wouldn't say"
Lin looked grumpy, "anything you know I SHOULD KNOW"
"I'm sorry I can't say, Shy doesn't want anyone to know" Derpina sighedLin,Derpina forged a telepathic connection with Lin in a matter of seconds,I promised Shyla I wouldn't tell anyone
Lin adapted to the telepathic communication faster than the previous time,tell me!Lin grouched,she's my daughter, I have a right to know!I promised her though, LinDerpina continued to use the telepathic communication which she shielded from Shyla. To her, it looked as if Lin and Derpina were just staring each other down
How do I know?Because I'm saying so, Linwith that, Lin grumbled to herself and left the room quickly,I'm sorry Lin. You have my word that it is not life-threatening. I may be able to tell you in time, or Shy may choose to tell you herself. Derpina closed the link with Lin
"fuck you." Lin cursed angrily. Derpina shook her head in frustration but kept a telepathic 'ear', a one-way link open to monitor Lin who was moaning to Monika about Derpina refusing to tell her anything. Shyla smiled and returned to acting normal again
"hey babe" Derpina smiled, "good morning. merry spiritsday, beautiful"
"merry spiritsday, baby." Derpina smiled and laughed, pointing into the corner where there was a load of new clothes, several pieces of jewellery and a huge fluffy polar bear dog toy, "what's all this?" Shyla asked, amazed
"spiritsday presents" Derpina grinned, "or rather some of them" Shyla noticed the bow on the polar bear dog's head
"this is wonderful!" Shyla exclaimed
"I wrapped the rest," Derpina grinned, "and got Korra to hide them all around the house and the island"
"oh, a game" Shyla smiled
"I closed the telepathic link with Korra so I don't know where they are, as I'm going to be the one carrying you" Derpina grinned, "I told you I was a big kid"
"sounds fun" Shyla whispered honestly
"shall we, baby?" Derpina grinned and gestured out of the window
"let's go" Shyla winked. Derpina jumped out of the window with Shyla, they flew around the building and back in through the kitchen window where they both yelled "BOO" together, making everyone in the kitchen jump in surprise
"WE GOT YOU!" Shyla yelled happily. Lin laughed when Tenzin fell off the chair he was sitting on, he had been dozing again but Derpina and Shyla's shout had woken him up, he had jolted upright, overbalanced on his chair and fell off of it. "HA! PAYBACK!" Shyla laughed
"wha... what's going on?!" Tenzin exclaimed and Shyla rolled her eyes
"getting a little old are we, Tenzin?" Derpina taunted, "my grandad used to snooze all the time, he was ninety-six"
"dad is so old"
"about two hundred and fifty?" Derpina suggested, Tenzin scowled and airbent Derpina out of the window, irritated
"hey!" Shyla exclaimed, "watch it!"
A/N: I'd love to have some reviews
