Bathsheba always hated this part of the day. It was boring watching Amara in the bed with Chavek, writhing around and moaning as if they were in pain. Though she received the occasional surge on pleasure, there was nothing for her to do but think. Or not think. Amara did not let her think. Instead, she called it pondering.
She still did not understand why, after working so hard to separate her from Leonard McCoy, there was such a rush to get him back. Amara assured her it was necessary to convince the Xarth, but then why did they not keep him in the first place? Bathsheba had no desire to see the man again, especially with what Amara said about him. Why would she want to come near a grizzled, xenophobic doctor when she had Amara? Despite the mysteries of her thought process, they still belonged together.
Bathsheba could not remember having to work this hard to understand a parent. She also could not remember being so miserable. She put on a brave face for Amara - she did rescue her after all - but there was something missing. She could not for the life of her recall what Leonard McCoy had done to her to feed this discontent. She wished she could. The information could help Amara be a better partner to her.
Incompleteness was all she was sure of. Bathsheba knew dependence was her lot in life. There was no way she could exist as a separate entity. Just as the physical beings needed food and water, she - as a physical manifestation of psychic energy - needed her Source. A mental source. Without it, she would fade into nothing. Yet, despite getting her basic needs met through Amara, there was still a deep emptiness within which called for something more.
/Spock.../
Bathsheba jumped to her feet. There is was again. The faint echo of a voice, and a weak wave flowing through her. This time it was different. Love. That was what it was this time. This was new, yet familiar. It had not been strong enough to register with Amara, but she had been receiving flickers on the edge of her consciousness occasionally. Up until recently, the feelings had been unpleasant, but now they were much more welcoming. She wanted to be a part of whatever this was. It called to her, like a beacon. Although it called to her, the name addressing her was different. Was it her true name - the name she had before?
"Bathsheba!" Amara called. Startled to attention, Bathsheba realized Amara had completed the required coitus with her officer and was refitting her robes. The Romulan had apparently gone to sleep, and Amara was quite relieved. She secretly hated the man. The situation only seemed to cause misery, which drew Bathsheba to the loving flicker all the more.
"You are receiving psychic signals from Leonard McCoy," Amara growled.
Bathsheba widen her eyes. "How did you know?"
Her partner sighed, rolling her eyes. She always got this way after sex, and Bathsheba did not like it one bit.
"I know everything you know. I know you contemplated leaving me."
"Never!" Bathsheba shouted immediately.
"Good, because we both know Leonard McCoy is not yours. He is not a good man. You need to tell me if you feel anything like this ever again."
She nodded. "I will, but I thought the link was completely severed?"
"You have been asking too many questions lately," Amara said, still angry, although as short surge of worry was projected. "The link was severed, but there is still a psychic connection. This is why his death would lead to yours. I'm not sure why this is, but I have been trying to find ways to break it so you can be truly free. He has been bonding with another telepath, and I am sure this is giving him the ability to reach out and try to take you back more actively than he could have otherwise. When McCoy comes to us, we will make sure he does not bother you again."
"But I thought we needed him."
"We do. You would die if he died, but I will attempt to nullify his ability to utilize the psychic link. His telepath friend is one of the men Chavek wants, so it should be made all the more easier."
"Spock? Yes, I heard that name through the connection."
"Did you?" Amara seemed to relax and Bathsheba followed suit. It was always exhausting when her partner was miserable and angry, which seemed to be happening more lately. The psychic energy she had to expel, dealing with the Romulans, and planning for her future conquests were taking a toll. There was also a more deep-seated pain which she had not yet revealed. It was painful to have such things hidden, but Bathsheba was sure Amara had her reasons.
"Well, they will be arriving tomorrow. We must make final preparations before our friend here decides he needs another go."
"Why do you have sex with him if you hate it so much?"
"Chavek does not know what to do with a strong woman unless he is fucking her," Amara replied. She rose from the bed and projected the subject was closed. Bathsheba was unsatisfied, but made herself content with what she got. Amara was right, there was no time to think on such things. She honestly did not know how she would react when she saw Leonard McCoy again, but she swore she would mentally prepare herself so it was not love he saw. She was no longer his, and he would know that.
oOOOo
"Captain, I must speak with you."
Kirk was relieved Spock made the first move rather than himself. The day after their meeting, there was a yellow alert called for a possible Romulan intrusion near where they were stationed. There was no evidence of immediate danger, but the orders were to keep an eye out. It was serendipitous that the area where the sighting took place was near Starbase 16, where T'Remberale waited.
Needless to say, he had not had a chance to make up for his insensitivity toward McCoy and Spock's announcement. He was still uncomfortable with the idea of McCoy jumping so fast into marriage - particularly since he was not at full capacity. Their conversation last night did nothing to dissuade this feeling. Then again, he knew Spock well enough to know he had taken such a thing into consideration.
"Of course, Mr. Spock," Kirk said. The tone of voice indicated it had to do with matters of the heart. Since what happened between him and Bones had developed quickly, Spock likely did not have a chance to process it. Now that McCoy was busy in Sickbay, it was as good a time as any to look at Spock's side.
Once they sat, Spock waisted no time.
"I cannot stop having doubts, Jim."
Kirk felt a heavy weight in his stomach. "That you love McCoy?"
"No, I will never doubt that," the Vulcan said quickly. "However, you were right in your assessment this has happened incredibly fast."
"I feel the need to clarify these doubts are not my own," T'Ra said. "I...know things will work themselves out. It is hard for me to believe McCoy would have fallen for us if there were not feelings there before his intercission."
Kirk nodded, understanding. "You're worried McCoy's feelings are not genuine."
"Yes," Spock said. "At times it is easy to simply follow my daemon and let myself be content to have been granted this...miracle. But I am also a Vulcan. If I do not consider all angles, I would not be true to my nature."
"Is that why you were so tense during the meeting, and why you were so...defensive?"
Spock had been looking at the table during the exchange, but now looked Kirk full in the face. "No. The reason for my behavior was T'Remberale."
"I figured you knew her."
"What you say is true, but this was not the only reason for my reticence. I sensed she was not acting in accordance with her personality."
"At the time it was somewhat disturbing," T'Ra said. "But it stood to reason after fifteen years, changes are bound to take place. Still, with the news of the Romulan sighting, it is best we use caution."
"Reminds me a bit of the last landing party we all had," Kirk said with a sad smile.
"Except this is a Starbase we are going to, and a well defended Starbase at that," Aesina continued. "If we need any assistance. It will be easy to access. Besides, this is not the subject at hand."
"Reuniting Leauna and Leonard is of the utmost importance," Spock insisted.
"I know that, Spock," Kirk said. "I have made every arrangement. There has been no indication of Romulan incursion on the planet. If there is, it will be small enough to handle."
"What about Lady Amara?"
"Spock, what are the chances of Amara being at the exact Starbase we are about to stop at? And even if she is, that would be a plus. We could get Leauna back, and reunite her and McCoy all at once."
"If T'Remberale can do such a thing."
Kirk furrowed his brow and leaned back in the chair. "Spock, you're going down that road again. You're using 'mights' and hypotheticals."
"This should not be a shock, Jim. You know I have been lax in my controls."
"And you're ashamed," Kirk said. "You're ashamed because you're scared. You're scared if McCoy gets Leauna back, he won't want you anymore."
Spock's head fell again. "Leonard is not back to normal. There is still an element of his old personality present, but he is much less cautious."
"He's in love, Spock. Do you remember when the salt vampire took the form of Nancy? You remember how long it took him to shoot it? McCoy has deep emotions, and loves about as fiercely as anyone I know. That's why Jocelyn hurt him so badly. You have never seen him really in love. I only saw part of it."
"Do not forget when he had xenopolycythemia, Jim," Spock said. "He fell in love with Yonada, yet left her behind when he received a cure. Difficult emotional situations cause changes in his priorities, but when the situation is resolved, things change."
"I don't know if he really loved her, Spock. He was...desperate. We both know he would have been transferred to a Starfleet hospital when the time came close, and who knows if we would have been able to join him. He did not want to be alone when he died. This time is different. He really does love you."
"You are a romantic, Jim," Spock said. "It is difficult for you to provide an accurate assessment."
"If I recall, I figured out you had these feelings in the first place. I may be a romantic, but I'm not stupid."
Spock closed his eyes, showing subtle signs of exasperation. Kirk worried he might be losing the other man, but was encouraged with a nod.
"I suggest loving Bones as much as possible," Kirk said. "We will worry about the future when it comes. Like you said, there is no guarantee with this healer. Let's not ponder on things which have not happened yet."
"I cannot take the risk I am using him."
"But we're not using him," T'Ra said to her parent, not even attempting to hide frustration. "We are not the Vulcan warriors of old who would take mates of both genders and force themselves on them physically and mentally. Jim is right. Even if the happiness is artificial, it is still happiness."
Kirk loved hearing the silver daemon speak, awed with how two such distinct personalities could exist within Spock's being. Aesina and him were on the same wavelength constantly. Even when he was split into his good and evil sides, Aesina was split as well. Spock had said that the Vulcan and human warring within was a constant struggle, and getting them to exist peacefully with one another had taken a long process. He had seen the progress even during their current mission.
"I'm going to call ahead to the Starbase and put them on alert. Will that make you feel better Mr. Spock?"
"Yes Captain," Spock said while standing to leave.
"Wait," Kirk said, lifting his hand. He could not let this moment slip through his fingers. "Before you go, I have to apologize for the minor freak out I had when you and McCoy announced your engagement."
"There is no need..."
"No, there is. I'm...I will admit, I had worries similar to yours - that Bones wasn't ready or he was trying to complete himself in some way. I...should have given both of you more credit."
"You were concerned because you care," Spock said, allowing a softness to spread over his features.
"You know how much I love you, right?" Kirk said while Aesina placed a hand on T'Ra's crest. Spock's daemon leaned into the touch.
"Yes Captain, although I trust it is as a friend rather than as a lover. Humans' limited language with regards to affection often leads to confusion."
Kirk laughed. "Yes Spock. You're my best friend and my brother in every way but blood. I'm going to do everything I can for you and Bones."
Spock gave one of his warm smiles which barely lifted his cheeks. "I feel the same for you, Jim. I am often...humbled I have been allowed two such people in my life."
The captain nodded, "Last time we had a conversation like this, you looked ready to rip my head off. I like this better."
"Indeed, Jim. Indeed."
oOOOo
Beaming down to Starbase 16 was always a treat for Spock, with or without an important rendezvous. It had some of the finest science labs run by humans, and although he was often loathe to admit it, the human methods of experimentation utilized here worked better than many Vulcan methods. It was here the transporter code was revised to accommodate daemons, and the beginnings of a cure for an Andorian ailment similar to the Terran AIDS virus was being studied.
He would not be visiting any of the labs, however. Spock looked to either side of him to see both his best friend and his lover trying to school the tension which ran through them. It was far easier for Spock since he had years of practice, but he also knew they had no one to impress here.
The welcoming atrium of the base was shaped like a circle and was lined with several shops and restaurants. A diversity of humanoid species perused the offerings, but the crowd was small. It was likely a combination of the off-season and the Romulan threat. There was surely little time for recreation when almost all the personnel were likely at their posts.
The trio stepped off the platform into the empty space, and made their way to the aircar port. Kirk had already rented one ahead of time since T'Remberale's house was so far out of the way.
McCoy became immediately self conscious once he stepped into public. This had been the first time off the ship in months, and now his exposure felt all the more apparent. Spock offered the use of T'Ra, and her presence on the doctor's shoulder helped a bit. He portrayed gratitude through the bond, and made it apparent he wanted to kiss him right then and there. Spock tilted his head toward the captain, and McCoy relented, but not without a two-fingered kiss on T'Ra's stomach. Spock turned to Jim to lead the way, and the captain could not contain his amusement. Although no words were exchanged, he knew exactly what was going through their heads.
When they reached the aircar, Spock felt the tension return. There was no turning back. The fear of seeing T'Remberale had been replaced in the past few hours. He tried to remind himself this was not their only chance. There could be other ways to make McCoy whole again. This was their best chance, though. Spock was not biased on his knowledge that there were no other beings in the known galaxy with better knowledge of the soul the kator-dva healer. Based on her family background, T'Remberale was one of the finest among this group. If she had not contacted them, he would have made effort to seek their help in these matters at some point. Spock just hoped she would say something to their benefit, so their hope did not continue to be blind.
The three friends exchanged no words. Through their bond, McCoy was expressing similar anticipation and fear. This could be his only chance, but no chance would be possible without Leauna. They had assumed over the past weeks she was within reach, but this was not a guarantee. Since they were now on their own, he felt free to take his lover's hand and squeeze.
The automated aircar trip was short - only twenty point two-five minutes. It felt like a lifetime. They disembarked with the captain in the lead and his two friends behind. McCoy could not bring himself to unclasp his hand from Spock's. The Vulcan did not object.
"Spock," McCoy said, stopping them both. They were about a hundred feet from the front door of the traditional Vulcan abode nestled in the foot of a mountain. The main buildings of the Starbase were mere dots on the horizon, and there was not another house in sight.
"I know, Leonard," Spock said, giving his lover's hand a squeeze. "If this changes things, I assure you it cannot be for the worse."
"I'm gonna feel pretty stupid if I'm worrying myself into a tizzy for nothing. What if she says...there's no hope?"
"Then we will find another way," Spock said softly as he placed a kiss to McCoy's forehead.
"Gentlemen," Kirk said. "I think we have done enough reflecting in the past few days to make Plato look flighty. I think it's time to stop thinking and start doing, don't you?"
McCoy sighed and nodded in response. Jim was right, of course. Fearing the future would get them nowhere. If Spock had simply taken initiative instead of brooding over McCoy's condition, they could have found each other much sooner.
As a group, they made their way to the foyer and knocked on the door. It took less than a second for the door to open, revealing T'Remberale in the flesh. Spock immediately felt dread wash over him. Something was not right. He passed his hesitation on to McCoy. They spared a quick glance at each other and to T'Ra. Her empathic senses were screaming fear and aversion. As well as...glee. But not from T'Remberale.
Even without the benefit of telepathy, Kirk sensed it too, if his stance was any indication. Without saying a word to the Vulcan woman, he turned quickly. The look in his eyes prompted Spock and McCoy to turn and look at the three Romulan guards armed with disruptors.
"Why don't you go in?" The tallest Romulan said in a crackly voice.
Kirk immediately reached for his phaser, but a strong arm from behind stopped him and took the weapon from his belt. T'Remberale now joined the guard in their threatening posture.
"I'm sorry," she said, sounding genuine. "I had to trick you into coming here. I had no choice."
Spock said nothing, but could not keep the anger from his expression. He looked at his former friend. She had been such a strong and independent force in his youth. Now to see her so pitiful and frightened was a shock and disappointment.
Disappointment seemed to define this moment, as well as self loathing. He should have known. He should not have let them walk into a trap so easily. He had been so blinded by this hope. This was the same mistake they made when this whole mess first started. Now, it appeared to be how it would end.
oOOOo
Having been stripped of their weapons and herded inside, McCoy finally allowed himself to feel the emotions he had numbed himself to when they first realized they had walked into a trap. This had been their best chance, and now it was gone. McCoy was not sure what this meant, but the Romulans outside did not appear particularly friendly. Whatever their agenda was, it would not be easy to escape from.
McCoy would not let them have what they were after, this was certain. He could not help but feeling a sense of peace, because he had known love and given it in return, something he had longed for since before his divorce. He only wished he could have gotten the chance to marry Spock, and gotten Leauna back from the clutches of...
"Amara!" Kirk said with a low voice.
McCoy looked up, and indeed there was the yellow-skinned woman who had been the object of his hatred for three long months. She was flanked by Dr. Weinburg, a Romulan, and...Leauna.
His eyes went wide, his throat closed, and his heart gave a nervous flutter. Here, after so long, was his beloved Leauna. She looked the same, if not a little more stiff. She was looking straight up toward Amara, and seemed to be avoiding eye contact with him. She did not look sick, but not at full health either. No longer were they separated by light years. Things were now as it was meant to be...almost. They still had no bond. They could not truly touch unless they found a way to reconstitute the connection, which now seemed far more remote.
McCoy gave into his first instinct and tried to lunge toward her, but was stopped by a muscular Romulan throwing his arms around his chest. McCoy fought, desperate to get within arm's reach of the other half of himself, but it was no use. Spock tried to project calm in through the bond, but he blocked it. The last thing he wanted right now was restraint. If he could not touch Leauna, then he at least wanted her to look at him.
"Bones," Kirk said, half pleading and half expressing sympathy.
"How wonderful it is to see you all again," Amara said, with enough false cheer to make all of their skin crawl. Aesina leapt from Kirk's shoulder toward their enemy, but Amara quickly grabbed her and threw her against an adjacent wall. The action made Kirk scream and collapse to the ground.
"I have grown far less tolerant of your little friends," Amara said. "Although, they are quite pleasant when retrained, like Bathsheba."
When McCoy saw she was referring to Leauna, his anger exploded. "You renamed my daemon after a fucking Old Testament whore?"
That got Leauna's attention. She radiated fear and trepidation, but also determination.
"She can call me whatever she wants," she finally said. "I am hers, not yours."
McCoy's heart fell at the statement. That voice - the voice he knew so intimately - now rejecting him. Obviously, there had been some telepathic control at play, but this knowledge did not ease the sting, nor did his lover's silent support. McCoy slumped against the Romulan holding him, allowing the old despair to come roaring back.
He looked to his lover and saw there were two Romulans clutching onto his arms so hard, his hands were turning a dark green. He kept the same unflinching facial expression he always had in these situations, but McCoy felt the sympathetic anger radiating from him. That intricate brain of his was already weaving a plan to escape, but the emotions surging both from himself and Spock were muddling the process.
"I see you two have been having some fun since we last saw you," Amara commented. "How sweet. You have lovely little bond between you. Sharing a daemon I see. Now, that's cheating isn't it? How can humans expect to start life without daemons if these pesky telepaths won't, as you humans say, take off the training wheels."
"What about him?" McCoy said through gritted teeth, nodding toward Dr. Weinburg. "It looks to me like you're still controlling him."
"His wife has died, and he is unwilling to break our connection. Sad really. None of the other humans I cut seem to be doing it either."
"You sick fuck!" McCoy shouted, again beginning to struggle. "You're even more crazy than before! They're not recovering because they have no soul!"
Amara again gave a dark smile. "You see, Bathsheba? You see what I got you away from."
"Yes, I can see it now," the daemon said.
McCoy did not think his heart could break anymore than it had, but he was wrong. "Leauna," he pleaded. "She's manipulating you. You have to..."
"Shut up!" Amara shouted.
"Why are you so afraid to have Leonard talk to her?" Spock said in a voice which barely contained it's fury.
"I fear nothing," Amara said. "You on the other hand are scared your little human concubine will not need you anymore. It was genius really. Swooping in while he was at his weakest and acting like a savior. It was an expert manipulation. Humans are so easy to claim once you know what to do."
"You don't know anything," McCoy growled.
Amara turned to the older man. "Oh, don't I? I know you have been using your new telepathic boyfriend to try and reach my daemon."
"What the..."
"You have not only been coddled by the Vulcan, but are also trying to pull back what is no longer yours to have. Don't worry, I'll show you how to really be free, and then we will go to my people."
"Hold it, are you..."
"But first, we have to get rid of this pesky little link. Can't be cheating, can we?"
Before McCoy could react, Amara touched his face, and he felt the beautiful intricate connection had had developed with Spock snap.
