Chapter Twelve: Three Little Words
"Oh my Severus, I'm positively exhausted," groaned Hermione exasperatedly as they finally took their seat at the Marauders table after hours of dancing.
"Surely you can spare the energy for one more dance," he replied, pushing his bottom lip out and expressing his disappointment at her polite rejection.
"My feet feel like their going to drop off," she protested further whilst her hands massaged her ankles vigorously.
"Now I seriously doubt that my dear."
"Yeah Harry," Lily concurred, "stop being such a drama queen and give the boy a dance. He looks simply miserable when he's forced to sit here with us lot, and from the puppy dog look in his eyes, it's clear that he is more than desperate to whisk you around the floor one more time."
Even James had to nod in agreement to this statement. "Come on Hermione. It's not everyday Snape gets a girl to come the ball with him."
Lily elbowed her boyfriend hard in the ribs in reply to his words and he soon keeled over in agony, clutching his side.
"Fine," Severus conceded with a sigh at Hermione's silence. "If you will not dance then at least let me escort you home."
"Aww the gentleman re-emerges from the dark façade," Lily teased before roaring with laughter.
"Exactly how much punch have you drank this evening Miss Evans?" Severus inquired with one eyebrow raised slightly above the other. "For I could not understand a single word of that slurred remark."
Lily giggled furiously, answering his question without actually speaking.
"She's drank a lot Severus," James replied for her as he scrutinized his hyperactive girlfriend with a curious expression.
"Ah. I can see that you'll be having a troublesome remainder of the evening Potter if Miss Evans has anything to do with it," the dark haired wizard returned with a small smile. "Anyway," he continued more seriously as he turned to Hermione and offered her his hand; "we should be leaving my dear."
"I guess we should," Hermione replied solemnly as she stood, holding the firm belief that this was probably the last time that she'd see her new friends.
"Lily," she said softly to the still giggling witch, "Severus and I are going now."
"Sure didly Harry," the redhead replied boisterously in a sing song voice. "I'll see you in the morning when Santa's been! Ooh I'm so excited!"
Hermione's head drooped sadly. "You be careful getting home alright," she instructed as she wrapped her arms around her friend and kissed the top of her head. "I love you so much Lily Evans and you've been a fantastic friend to me."
"And you," she continued to James as her eyes began to well up and her voice to falter, "you just look after my girl okay?"
"Of course I will Harry," the young man replied as he returned Hermione's embrace despite Snape's snarl. "I'm a proper gentleman remember?"
Hermione chortled softly. "Keep safe and remember that your trust should be distributed carefully."
She knew what she was talking about, but Lily, James and Severus seemingly did not. Their confused expressions told her as much.
"Either that's some strange cryptic message and you're some sort of pre-warning seer, or you've had too much to drink as well," James laughed heartily. "And I'd bet my life that it's the later!"
"For once I agree with Potter, my love," Severus interjected. "What on earth has gotten into you this evening? You'll see them both in the morning so stop with the overzealous farewells and come with me."
Hermione glared at Severus before conceding to the idea that she probably looked both rather ridiculous and drunk at that moment; when realistically she knew that she was neither.
"Come on then mister," she said to Severus as she took his hand. "Lead the way."
Once she turned from her friends, she knew that she could never look back…
"Severus, where on earth are you taking me?" Hermione asked as he led her by the hand into a large gathering of trees and along a gravel path. "I thought we were going home to bed."
"I want to give you something," he replied, his pace never waning as he guided her through the clearing. "Just follow me and stop asking questions."
They carried on walking for just over five minutes and until they found themselves at the entrance of the garden that he had led her to when they first began to acknowledge their feelings for one another.
"I thought you said you only come here to vent your frustration," she asked worriedly. "Have I done something wrong?"
"Not at all," he whispered in reply as he lowered the wards and the stone gateway slid aside to reveal the familiar sanctuary that lay beneath a clear star strewn sky. "And I said last time that I come here to contemplate my emotions or to ponder on any thoughts that are bothering me."
"So this isn't a break up meeting?"
"Of course not you great big hippogriff," he chortled, pulling her close to him beneath an outstretching blossom tree. "Why would I abandon the woman I love?"
"The woman you…love?" she stuttered. "Severus I-"
"Shh," he whispered, placing a long finger against her quivering lips. "Hermione May, I love you."
"I never expected to ever hear those three little words to escape your lips," she replied softly as she kissed his finger and the tears welled up in her eyes. "And you don't know how happy they've made me."
Severus smiled and brought her entire body into a warm embrace. "I love you," he whispered again into her ear. "I will always love you."
"I love you too," she whispered back gently before kissing his neck passionately. "Just remember that in years to come."
"How could I forget?" he asked.
"Just promise me," she repeated firmly. "Promise me that you'll know that you are loved and even if I'm not here, that you'll never feel alone."
"Hermione I promise," Severus sighed, inwardly wondering what had made her act so melancholy that evening when it came to her strange requests and declarations. "Now I want to give you something," he continued slipping his hands into his robes seemingly searching for something.
"No wait," she interrupted, grabbing his hand and ceasing its movement. "Let me go first." She could sense her time was running out before Dumbledore sent for her.
"But-"
"-No Severus," she said firmly, cutting his protests short. "I need to go first."
He sighed in defeat and it was now her turn to search the lining of her robes for something. His eyes shone with curiosity as she pulled out a small black box no bigger than an ink pot in width and a fingertip in depth.
"Here," she said as she passed him the gift. "I wanted to give you this before I…before Christmas," she corrected quickly.
"Oh no I'd rather wait until tomorrow," he dissented gently, handing her back the gift.
"No. Just open it please."
Severus frowned at her bluntness but nevertheless obeyed her strange yet stern command and began opening the box. He lifted the lid to reveal a gold bangle lying top of a small velvet cushion.
"Hermione it's beautiful."
"Read the inscription," she instructed ignoring his compliment for fear of her time quite literally running out with him. It was almost midnight; she did not have long left.
Severus lifted the bangle from its resting place and tilted it up to the moonlight so that he could read the four words engraved on its inside.
"Diligo. Usquequaque. Victum. Frenum?" he inquired. "That's Latin right?"
"Yes."
"And are you going to tell me what it means?"
"No. I want you to figure that out for yourself," she replied before closing the gap between them and raising herself up onto her tip-toes to kiss his lips.
"You're a good person Severus," she whispered as she let her palm fall onto his chest and rest above his heart. "Don't ever feel as though you are not because you are such a wonderful man."
"Don't Hermione," Severus said softly as his gaze fell sadly to the floor. "I'm not a good man and my mark is proof of that."
"You are not like the others Severus!" Hermione snapped fiercely. "You are not so tainted with their darkness, and their hearts do not beat the same way as yours does. You are not one of them."
"Hermione before I met you I was heading down that one-way street to darkness but you saved me. You brought me back to life and back to the light of the good. Without you I would not be the spy that I am now; without you, I doubt my heart would beat as it is doing."
"Without me Severus, you can still be this brave man you are now."
"Without you Hermione," he corrected firmly, "I would be nothing."
"That's not true!"
"Yes it is! Why can't you see that you are the only pure thing in my life and the only thing that keeps me from The Dark Lord's temptations of power and prosperity?"
"But if I am not here that does not mean that I do not love you Severus. You will always have my love and therefore no reason to return to the dark ways."
"I need you with me every day Hermione, so that I can be reminded of what I am fighting for; I don't want just a memory in my heart, I need the real you in order to remember why I am risking my life and soul for the Order."
"But I won't always be here to remind you Severus!" she cried. "I won't always be able to hold you and take away the pain, but that does not mean that I am not with you in your heart."
"This conversation is futile," Severus sighed, ignoring her reiteration of the same point as he felt her anger and frustrations mounting. "I did not bring you here for an argument."
Hermione wiped the unshed tears from her eyes and nodded in agreement. She did not want her last memory of him to be of a dispute.
"I wanted to ask you something Hermione," Severus moved on nervously as once more he searched his robes for that small little box. "And I wanted to give you this."
Just as his hands fell upon the box in his pocket, a large tawny owl swooped between him and Hermione, knocking him to his feet and landing gently on Hermione's shoulder.
"What on earth-" he spluttered angrily standing to his feet and brushed off his robes.
"It's Dumbledore's owl," Hermione informed, her voice raucous with emotion and fear.
Reluctantly she untied the letter from the owl's left leg and unravelled it to reveal three little words scrawled in Dumbledore's untidy script: "Time has arrived."
"Hermione you've turned awfully pale," Severus said concernedly. "Is everything okay?"
"I've got to go," she whispered throatily, as the tears flowed uncontrollably from her eyes. "Severus I have to go."
She turned and sped away from him, her feet pounding on the rocky path beneath her and her heart constricting within her chest. She couldn't stop, she couldn't look back, but she wanted to; she wanted to stay with him and never to go back to where she knew she belonged.
"Hermione wait!" Severus cried as he finally caught up with her and pulled her powerfully towards him.
She turned to face him as his arms wrapped around her waist, pulling her even closer to him so that their was no space at all between them; her were eyes brimming with emotion and her mind was telling her to just run to avoid this silent farewell. But she couldn't…that indecipherable look in his eyes meant that she couldn't. "Severus I-"
He bent down to kiss her lips passionately cutting her sentence short. It was minutes before they broke apart again and when they did both had fear etched upon their faces. "Go," he whispered solemnly, his eyes now also filled with tears. "But remember that I will always love you."
"I love you too Severus," she rejoined as she kissed him once more firmly on the lips, wondering briefly if he knew where she was going. "I'm sorry."
She turned once more away from him and towards the castle before resuming her sprint, never once looking back to Severus who had now crumbled into a heap on the floor, his cry audible even to Hermione who was now too far away to return…
