Disclaimer: I do not own Jackie Chan Adventures, Beast Wars, or One Piece.

Betaed by: Zim'sMostLoyalServant


PDJ Presents:

"Queen of All Oni"

CHAPTER IX

Steel Lightning

OR

Can you get too much respect too?

Windsor Mansion:

The Shadow Hand was seated along one side of the table that dominated the dining room-turned-conference room. Chow read his newspaper, Ratso a comic book, Finn listened to a walkman, head dipping to music only he could hear, Hak Foo looked bored and irritated, while Blankman sorted through some paperwork he had laid out before him.

They noticed the chairs from the opposite side of the table had been removed. Clearly the boss was up to something. As if her calling a meeting wasn't obvious enough of a clue.

"Gentlemen," Jade greeted curtly, floating in through the doorway. Holding herself at about waist height, she floated to stand across from the humans, followed by Left, who held a stand and a large packet of papers under his arms. As he set up the stand, Jade touched down onto the table and started to pace, hands behind her back.

"We, which is to say you, are falling into a pattern. A pattern of failure. I have seen this from the other side of the stadium, and I am telling you right now I am not having it.

"So it's time to kick the pattern, try something new. Get them out of their little groove.

"But how? That is the question. The answer lies in the few times the dark forces have gotten the better of Uncle Jackie. Naturally, the place to look is the biggest upset the forces of light have been handed since Valmont decided to listen to his interior decorating.

"In the Talisman hunt, the score was 10-2 Jackie into the final stretch. Enter the Tiger, and all of those previous victories just became a matter of making it cake for Tiger to filch every talisman the Dark Hand had lost.

"Unlike the Demon Portals, and like the talisman powers, the Masks are still in play. It's just a matter of getting to them, and all my setbacks are overturned in one stroke of awesome!

"So that is our goal; the next mask fight is only a prelude to our true goal of retrieving the masks in Section 13.

"To that end, I give you, OPERATION: STEEL LIGHTNING!" Jade exclaimed as her yojimbo finished setting up the stand and flipped back the first page to reveal the name written in both English and Japanese with a lightning bolt sketched across it.

"Step one, we fight for the mask," Jade declared as the page was flipped. It showed the Enforcers sprawled on the ground while Jade kicked a poorly drawn Tohru in the head, Jackie tugging on a mask with Hak Foo. It also showed Uncle as a cartoon goat with the word bubble "one more thing".

"Step two, 'accidentally' get the mask on Jackie," Jade continued as the page was turned. She rose into the air to stand opposite Left, pointing to the displayed image. This picture showed a sour faced Hak Foo smacking the mask on Jackie's face. Hak Foo's word bubble read "Oops", while Jackie had an exclamation mark over his head. Goat Uncle's head was shown in the bottom left corner saying "one more thing" again.

18 Minutes Later:

"Then after the victory banquet…" Jade continued. The page was flipped, showing Goat Uncle with a black eye, an arm in a sling, and holding an ice pack to his head. Again the word bubble read, "One more thing".

"Step 20, be awesome," she grinned as the final page was revealed. A drawing of her that matched the expression she was currently wearing, only in the drawing she was wearing cool sunglasses and flashing a victory sign.

"Any questions?" she asked, beaming at herself. Chow raised a hand; she nodded to him.

"That has nothing to do with lightning," he stated.

"Or steel, really… well, anymore than normal," Finn added.

"It doesn't have to make sense, it's a cool name," Jade waved it off.

"What about Operation: Shadow Tiger – you know, evil Jackie Chan call back?" Ratso suggested.

"Or Dark Judas," Finn suggested.

"Ulysses clings to bottom of ram," Hak Foo spoke up.

"Trojan Mask, for your part," Blankman suggested.

"Oh, what about-!" Chow spoke up again before Jade slammed a hand on the table.

"Hey! I'm the boss here, I name the operations!" she screamed at them.

"Well, I-" Chow began before she made a slashing gesture, cutting him off.

"I sign your stupid paychecks – cause apparently just giving out wads of cash is bad accounting – I tell you what to do!

"If I assign you stupid codenames, I expect you to answer to stupid codenames. In fact, Chow, until further notice you will be referred to by the codename Bonkers!

"Now Bonkers, go take over the surveillance, the rest of you back to whatever the Hell I pay for between jobs. I'm going to go eat a pizza and a bucket of ice cream, disturb at your dignity's risk!" she told them. She walked away rather than floated, so she could stomp her way out, grumbling about it "being a cool name" under her breath.

When she was gone, the Enforcers breathed a sigh of relief, while an irritated Hak Foo took his own leave.

"Bad luck Bonkers," Ratso counseled Chow.

"She's still a better boss than Shendu," Finn remarked.

"Oh, definitely," Chow agreed.

"Hmm, will I need to make edits to the personnel files?" Blankman wondered.

Somewhere in the American Northwest:

The redwoods flew by as they made their way through a forest road that was more like a trail.

"Captain Black, are you sure this is alright?" Jackie asked from the back seat of the jeep. Uncle, Tohru, and Viper rode in a similar vehicle in front of them. Black sat shotgun, adjusting a tazer, while an agent with bushy sideburns and sunglasses drove through the woods.

"Now that the Talismans work, I can make a convincing argument. Though it helps that the Shadow Hand is a problem my superiors want me to solve, magic or no magic," the Director grinned.

"Isn't that a bit extreme?" Jackie asked, eying the tazer.

"Probably no more than your magic lasers," the agent commented brusquely.

"It's not just the job Jackie; Jade's too promising a kid to lose to this demon stuff. You get S-13's best, me and Wisker," Captain Black assured him.

"Your name is Whisker?" Jackie asked, surprised. The agent grunted in answer.

Meanwhile:

"Ugh! Come on, what are you stuck on there with?" Jade demanded. She floated beside a totem pole, trying to pry a green mask with orange sideburns from it. The totem pole stood in a clearing of the redwood forest that opened on a cliff face overlooking the spread of woodlands.

The stunning scenery was lost on Jade who, in a frustrated fit, bit into the carved face above the mask. Her jaws snapped shut through the wood; turning her head, she spat splinters and chunks of wood aside.

"Ohh, she's getting mad," Finn commented.

"What kind of glue did they use, and where can we get some?" Chow wondered.

"This venture is pointless, I refuse to throw a fight!" Hak Foo declared. The fighter stood at the clearing's edge, knocking pieces of a tree away as he practiced his moves on it.

"If you wanna disobey the girl chewing off a bear's face, good luck," Ratso shrugged as he snacked from a small bag of chips.

"Brace myself! Are you threatening me? You're stuck to a pole!" Jade yelled. She seemed to feel everyone looking at her, because she turned, looking a bit embarrassed.

"The mask is talking to me," she said, pointing at it. They didn't respond and she frowned, grabbing it again and pulling with growls of exertion. She froze, and was grateful they didn't see her expression.

"Oh," she muttered. Queen Jade planted her feet against the totem pole and gave another heave. With a sound of tearing fibers and a small shower of splinters, the mask came free.

"Oh yeah! Me one, pole zip!" Jade cheered herself. She drifted up to sit on top of the pole between two carved bird wings.

"Isn't it more like her one, pole seventeen?" Chow chuckled, whispering to Finn.

"I heard that, Bonkers!" Jade yelled. The small Enforcer cringed and opened his mouth, only to be interrupted by a pair of jeeps bursting into the clearing through the brush.

The heroes poured out of the cars as the Enforcers and Hak Foo came to attention. Jade was holding the mask in front of her face when they noticed her perched on the totem; she tilted it to the side, exposing her right eye to them.

"Aiyah! Jade has mask already, Uncle told you to take shortcut!" Uncle exclaimed, smacking Tohru while pulling out a vial.

"I was surprised to beat you here. It would almost seem wrong to put this mask on Red's face without you running interference," Jade admitted. She snapped her fingers, and Left and Right stepped out of the shadow of the totem pole, swords drawn. Jade put the mask in her lap, frowning as she noticed her opposition was thicker than normal.

"Captain Black? Since when do you work the field? And who's the red shirt?" Jade asked, pointing at the agent with the sideburns.

"Name's Wisker. Surrender the hazardous material," the agent said, reaching into his jacket.

"Your name is Whisker? And here I thought villains were the ones with the bad puns. Well, let's get this thing rolling," Jade commented. Reaching behind her back, she pulled out one of her fans and threw the mask towards her human minions.

"Leaping trout catches fly!" Hak Foo shouted, running forward. Jade scowled as she pulled out her other fan. The heroes rushed forward, only to be brought up short as Jade sent a slash of shadows down in front of them.

Hak Foo jumped up to meet the mask, only for it to fly away from him with a bang. Wisker held out his revolver, still smoking.

"No one gets that mask," he said. A green beam sliced through a crescent of shadow that nearly plowed into the agent. He looked towards the dissipating magic, surprise not hidden by his sunglasses. Uncle smacked him over the head as Jackie and Viper engaged the two Shadowkhan rushing to meet them.

"Magic must defeat magic!" Uncle told him. Lifting his fish, he blasted the mask back up into the air from the spot on the ground where Hak Foo was about to grab it.

"No wonder Uncle likes that fish so much, this is fun," Jade laughed from her perch, sending blast after blast of chi into the battle below, keeping it chaotic. Hmm, she was actually kicking up too much dust, she realized, as she couldn't see clearly now. Closing one fan, she actually used one to fan herself.

'Now if only I could be sure Hak Foo was actually following the plan,' she thought.

The totem pole shaking and lurching under her jolted Jade from her thoughts. Bracing herself against one of the wooden eagle wings, she looked down. Tohru was pushing against the leaning pole, and moving it.

"Tohruuuu!" She shouted, opening her fans before giving way to a cry as the pole fell backward. Just before impact, it occurred to her she could float.

Left and Right looked to the fallen totem and the giant wizard advancing towards where their Queen lay. Jackie and Viper found themselves without opponents as the Khan dashed off towards Jade.

Hak Foo picked up the mask, smiling as he brushed bits of torn grass and dirt from it.

"A fearsome visage, for a fearsome warrior," he declared, raising it towards his face. It was close before Jackie grabbed the edges, yanking it back.

"No Oni today, thank you!" Jackie shouted as he became caught in a tug of war.

"Grr, monkey pulls- hey!" Hak Foo growled when Viper appeared between them and kicked the mask up into the air, out of both their grips.

"Lion rips out thorn in his side!" Hak Foo exclaimed, knocking Viper aside with a blow to the chest and turning on Jackie lividly.

"I got it!" Chow shouted, catching the mask out of the air.

"Great, give it to me! I mean, remember the-" Finn exclaimed, joining his shorter coworker.

"Or drop it," a voice told them. Captain Black grabbed Chow from behind, wrapping an arm under the smaller man's chin. Finn's legs were kicked out from under him and Wisker forced him to the ground, planting a knee in his back.

"No magic needed Captain," Wisker remarked, forcing Finn's face into the dirt.

"Don't count the chickens yet," Black told him as Chow struggled. Too choked to call for backup, Chow used what was at hand. He hit his captor in the face with the object in his hand. As he was doing it the consequences of his actions occurred to him.

Augustus Black saw something block his vision, then it felt like someone had thrown hot mush on his face.

Scratching at his face, he let the Enforcer go, stumbling away. Jade heard him cry out from where she and her Shadowkhan had Uncle and Tohru surrounded.

"Not exactly what I had in mind," she commented, drawing the wizards' attention to what was going on. Hak Foo was sent onto his back by Jackie and saw the mask attachment unfold upside down.

"I wanted that mask," he growled, springing back to his feet.

Wisker watched his superior in alarm, until two fists crashed down on his head.

"Forgot about me?" Ratso asked. Rolling the agent to the side, he helped Finn to his feet.

"Time to go," Jade told her Khan. Ducking into a small shadow by the pole, she vanished from sight, leaving her two bodyguards to grab the surprised Enforcers and pull them into shadows.

"I will have a mask!" Hak Foo declared, before running off into the trees.

"What happened? Where's the mask? What's happened to my voice?" Captain Black asked, pulling hands away from his face to reveal a green monstrous face lined by orange sideburns.

Uncle's Rare Finds:

"So this will keep me from going all dark side?" Captain Black asked as Tohru painted on his face with glowing green paint.

"Aiyah! Mask is too powerful to defeat with simple spell! Mask must be removed, and Shadowkhan minions destroy only vial of potion Uncle had!" Uncle ranted, shoving items into a traveling bag. The heroes stood around in the library with Captain Black sitting while Tohru did his work.

"Wouldn't making a back up batch just in case have been a good idea? I mean, if she wants to keep the masks on people, getting rid of your potions is a solid strategy," Viper remarked, looking up from the book she was reading. Uncle smacked her over the head.

"Do not mock Uncle! Uncle must go fetch seaweed to make new potion before Captain Black succumbs to forces of darkness," Uncle ranted to her face.

"The spell will slow the process… we think – the masks remain something of an enigma compared to the details we had to work with on the Demon Sorcerers.

"Captain Black, you must not summon Shadowkhan. That more than anything will hasten the mask's darkness corrupting your mind," Tohru told him.

"Don't summon ninja army, got it."

"Tohru, you're not going with Uncle?" Jackie asked as Tohru put the finishing touch on the spell.

"Uncle can get seaweed himself! My apprentice has special project to work on. Even more vital with evil now thrust into our midst," Uncle said, closing up his bag.

"You should go to Section 13, or wherever you feel most secure. Such an atmosphere will help slow the spread of darkness," Tohru told Black as Uncle made his exit.

Section 13:

Captain Black stalked through the bustling heart of Section 13, coat practically billowing about him. Their chief could be intimidating, certainly, but even the senior agents found themselves giving him a wider berth than usual.

Everyone would agree it was that mask he had shown up wearing. A grown man wearing a monster mask should have been ridiculous, but this was anything but. Even a glance to the back of that green head made men feel the need to check their side arms or reach for the nearest heavy object.

It was magic, of course. The Battle of the Zoo where so many of them had helped petrify Shendu had finally forced that bizarre reality on much of the agency. Even so, acknowledging that reality and having it stroll casually into your everyday routines were very different things.

All he had said on the matter was that it was being taken care of and not to worry. It was a vain request for the most part.

Black himself was being annoyed by magic at the moment on a conference call with a counterpart in the United Kingdom. Apparently, a wizard cult Jackie had been involved with taking down had managed a mass breakout of members.

It seemed the whole magic deal was more accepted on that side of the pond. But then, that was the land King Arthur and all that, so Black supposed it might just be top-secret history to the British.

"Yes, I'll be sure to tell him. Knowing too much? That's their beef? Hold on, I'm getting another call, urgent line.

"This is Black.

"What? !" the Captain exclaimed, shooting up from his chair.

Coit Tower:

"Why did it have to be here?" Chow demanded through chattering teeth. His stereotypical tourist attire of a short-sleeved Hawaiian print shirt and khaki shorts did not help much with the cold winds. Jade sat on a guardrail, swinging her feet with her hood up against the cold and looking no worse for wear. And naturally, Chow thought, her Shadowkhan goons stood at attention, unaffected by the elements.

"Why, it's the history of the place to consider. That was quite the fight back then, another debt Jackie doesn't bother to acknowledge. Save his life and he scolds me for stealing," Jade grumbled.

'But would they have kept the bargain? Wasn't it the most scared you had ever been when you thought you would lose him?' she heard a man whisper in her ear. Shaking her head, she glanced about suspiciously. Just the wind… but why could she smell the sea so clearly for a second?

"Majesty?" Right asked, glancing at her troubled look.

"Why do I have to be the fake hostage?" Chow whined, pulling a black bag over his head.

"Well, 'Ping', you wanted to know how to get out of quirky codenames. I gave you one from Mulan since you got Black masked, but it will take a bit more effort to get back to a real name basis," Jade told him as Left moved to hold Chow's hands behind his back.

"Jade!" Captain Black's distorted voice rose from the stairs.

"Showtime," Jade said to Right. The ninja nodded, and with a bow stepped back and moved out of sight.

Captain Black emerged from the stairway at a brisk pace, not the least bit winded from his climb, she noted.

'The mask, or is he just in better shape than I give him credit for?'

"Taking a hostage to call me out, I'm surprised Jade. Even as a bad guy, I would think you would have more class than that," Black remarked, glancing to her before fixing his attention on the "hostage".

"It's not like I intended to do anything with him, we just needed an excuse to talk where Jackie wouldn't dare meddle and you wouldn't risk letting Viper know what's going on.

"You have something I want, and I don't think you even want it at the moment," she told Captain Black, pointing to his masked face. Jade frowned, seeing the characters written across it. She could almost smell Tohru's meddling magic at work.

"I'm afraid your ninjas broke the potion, so until Uncle gets back with some replacement ingredients, it's not going anywhere," Black told her, crossing his arms. He really did look more impressive with some hair, Jade though idly. She broke out her best-practiced evil grin before speaking; she had been putting her mirror to good use.

"Not necessarily. You rely on potions, but I am not a mere human. I am a Shadowkhan General – I can remove a mask. I know how, thanks to the incomplete Teachings," Jade lied smoothly. Black betrayed a hopeful look, before his poker face slammed back into place.

"All I want is the mask – you aren't on my "Get Even" list, Captain Black. You walk away maskless with the hostage," Jade explained.

"And the mask?"

"Walk away with that, too. The Generals have been hostile to me in the past; you going dark while wearing it could go quite badly for me," she answered.

"And if I don't believe you?" he pressed.

"It no longer matters, toss him," Jade said, loosing her smooth tone for an excited one. Right appeared and grabbed the Captain's arms, crossing them behind his back and pushing him forward.

He felt power surge through him but pushed it down. Super strength would come with a high price.

Jade hopped down from her perch and walked forward, waiting until Right forced Black past her. She was nowhere in sight when the struggling man and calm ninja moved on.

"What are you trying to do, Jade? !" Black demanded as he reached the guardrail. Left joined his brother, kneeling down to grab Black's legs. Together, they pulled him off his feet and held him overhead.

"Oh hell," Black cursed, putting together Jade's earlier words. Without a word, the Shadowkhan tossed him over the rails and out of sight to plummet.

Below:

A massive Shadowkhan – built like a boulder, its masked head seeming to have no neck and much of its tree trunk like arms baring blue skin – rose out of the shadow cast by a parked laundry truck. Glancing up, it was lifted into the air as another Sumo Khan rose beneath it, leaving him standing on its shoulders.

The pattern continued and hastened as the sumo rose into the sky on a tower of its brethren, raising its arms out in front of it.

A scream was cut off with an "oof!" as Captain Black was caught in its outstretched arms. Panting, he looked at his rescuer in shock, and then glanced down, seeing the swaying tower of ninjas. Feeling a tingling on his head, he ran the back of his hand across his brow and it came away with ink smeared on it that vanished before his eyes.

"Uhhh, down?" he asked the masked sumo. The giant nodded to him, and the massive ninja began to sink back into the shadow they had come from, shrinking the tower. As they descended, Black reached into his pocket and pulled out a cell phone, flipping it open.

"Jackie, I think I messed up," he reported as the Shadowkhan lowered him to the ground.

Section 13:

Captain Black marched into his office and took his seat behind his desk more heavily than he intended. He watched Wisker follow him in, accompanied by his second in command. He must have left them standing there longer than he thought, because his number two spoke up.

"Sir?" the man asked. Black looked to the man and was sorry to see him flinch; damn mask.

"Men, Jade got me to use the mask, I'm at risk of falling under its influence until the wizards get back with the removal spell," he told them. He frowned, rubbing the spot on his brow where Tohru's kanji had been; the big guy was disappointed the spell hadn't held up. The old man, meanwhile, was probably just furious at Black for not becoming street paste rather than using the mask.

"Here is what we are going to do. I'm locking myself in here – for now, you are in command, and if I send out orders take them with a grain of salt, or disobey if they sound evil. In fact, don't call me unless its magic stuff. I need to get in my happy-good place.

"Wisker, head down to the Vault and don't let anyone in, especially me," he commanded them. The agents nodded and walked out. Black got up and locked the door behind them. He finally let out the sigh he had been holding. He was glad he didn't have a mirror in here.

Yes, he could feel the mask in his head, or hear it? Like a whisper jut too soft to understand. Was it good or bad he couldn't make it out?

He wished Tohru had come on over but he was apparently working on something that when finished could help sort this problem. When he asked for details, the sumo had reminded him that the mask might be listening.

"Okay, positive thoughts. But not gratification. Hmm," the captain wondered, taking his seat back. After some consideration, he closed his eyes and hummed the first thing to come to mind with good stuff. Amazing Grace – simple, good, and lots of positive associations to come to mind.

Not exactly the whole Asian mysticism thing, but he figured his own reaction was what mattered here. And it seemed to be right. The whispering faded without vanishing entirely. And as images from childhood to more recent matters – like the moment he truly realized Tohru had turned himself around – passed his eyes, he felt a weight he hadn't noticed lift.

Meditation wasn't much his thing; he had that in common with Jade, waste of time. But he had learned how to calm and center himself as part of his training. He put that to use now.

He noted his senses were sharper than usual, hearing the different inflections in his voice, his shift in the chair, and… well, well.

Captain Black rose from his chair and took a few steps into a relatively clear space. Letting out a "hmm", he stroked his chin, which was unusual with the mask texture, he noted.

Now, he was no Jackie Chan, but he was pretty quick, if he said so himself. Twisting around and crouching in one motion that sent his coat swishing, he plunged a hand into his shadow. It sank past his wrist into the floor, then he yanked it back as he stood up straight again.

Pulling Queen Jade out by the scruff of her ninja robes.

"Hello Jade, fancy meeting you here," the chief agent remarked. His free hand darted out, snatching the fans from her belt and tossing them across the room to clank against the wall.

"Sheesh, lame line, loser. Honestly, what do you guys do for witty dialogue with me gone?" Jade asked, rolling her eyes. At least, he thought she rolled her eyes – it was hard to tell with the red glowing thing she had going on there.

"I get what you pulled, Jade. We all thought that little stunt was so you could get the dark out of me, but that was just a distraction. You wanted the mask active so you could use its power to mask you stowing away in my shadow. The wards don't work on the masks, so it let you in under that. And any willies near me would have been dismissed as the mask," Black said. Jade grinned, revealing her row of fangs.

"What can I say? Young as I am, I am way smarter than you guys," she chuckled.

"Really, that smart, what's the capital of Kansas?" the man with the green face demanded.

"What? That's not a real test; it's a piece of trivia, irrelevant to everyone everywhere!

"But to answer your question, Kansas City, duh," Jade ranted.

"Actually, it's Topeka. Kansas City is in Missouri," he shook his head at her. Jade's mouth hung open for a moment before twisting into a snarl.

"Firstly, that's stupid. Secondly, you didn't get my plan quite right," she hissed. Her left hand was behind her back, shadow pooling in the cupped palm.

"Yeah, you waited too long, you should have jumped ship earlier to try for the Vault," Black admitted, pulling out his phone.

"No, you forgot step 12!" Jade snarled. Her left hand shot out, the shadow chi bursting outward into Black's face.

"RAAAH!" he yelled, stumbling back. He dropped her and his phone to stumble back, clutching at his face. The phone bounced on the carpet, while Jade just dipped for a moment before rising to float in the air. Holding out her hands, she turned to where her fans lay. With a word, they vanished in a puff of smoke to reappear in her hands with another puff.

Smiling, she rubbed her cheeks against each folded instrument before turning her attention to Black as he quieted down.

"I trust I am speaking to the resident General now?" Jade inquired. She cocked her wrists, ready to flip her fans open on a moment's notice, as the figure straightened up. Finally, the hands were pulled away, revealing glowing red eyes.

"Ah, so a burst of concentrated shadow chi does empower Shadowkhan, including sealed ones," Jade smiled. About time that tablet started to pay off.

The General folded his pilfered arms behind his back, looking at her intently. Jade drifted back a smidgen before realizing what she was doing. Baring her teeth, she floated forward, raising her fans but not opening them.

He pulled out his arms, and… kowtowed to her?

"Wha?" Jade slipped, making a most undignified face.

"Joō Heika I, General Ozeki, am at your service. Use me as you will," he intoned darkly, and happily?

"This is different; why are you treating me like royalty when I'm the youngest General?" Jade demanded. He raised himself to kneel, both fists planted in the ground.

"You are not just a mere General, you are female. You are the Royalty returned at long last. The Red King's usurpation comes to an end. Let the loyalists rejoice!" he practically cheered, baring fangs.

'Oookay, is this for real? I finally scale back, and then I get someone onboard with my destiny? No, too convenient, it may be a trick.

'Right, may be a trick, but the plan is still good. Win with plan, then worry about this,' Jade decided, frowning at the possessed Black.

"I have a plan," she told him.

"Yes, we are in the heart of the enemy stronghold. I shall call forth an army and lay waste to their hidden castle. The stones will be forever stained with the blood of your enemies, and ashes will darken the sky as I-" he ranted, raising a fist.

"Ease back there, buddy. I can understand your… enthusiasm. But I'm not looking to escalate things like that. Well, not at this point.

"Anyway, I have an assignment for you and I expect you to follow it without any… colorful additions," Jade told him warily.

"Of course, your will is my command, your whim my fate.

"Oh, Royalty! I must beg forgiveness; I passed the trampling stone test of the Matriarchy Crest after the Rebellion of the Red King. I know such disrespect is worthy of execution, and many chose Ikazuki's blade before that dishonor, but I knew the Royalty would rise again!

"And when that day came you would need true males, loyalists to aid you in returning the Court of One Thousand Candles to its glory.

"My long ordeal has at last borne fruit; you stand before me now and I am ready to serve!" he seemed to almost swoon at his own rant. Jade reached out and tentatively patted his head, not sure how to respond.

"That's good. What I need from you is a distraction. Draw everyone's attention, including Jackie… no, especially Jackie. Ransack the place; smash everything but the people.

"Meanwhile, I will break into the Vault; his wards won't hold me back if I have time to work on them. And just like that, I get those masks back.

"Say, you wouldn't happen to know where the Teachings of Eternal Shadow are, would you?" Jade asked, thinking of the question.

"Alas no, we knew only of the first as it shines like a beacon for us. But the enemy has knowledge," he said, rising to his feet. Walking over to Captain Black's desk, he pulled out a sheet of paper and began copying its contents on one of Black's blank sheets.

Jade drifted over and saw he was translating what looked like scans of two scrolls.

"My Queen, these are the clues the accursed Sage-Disciples gave to the Returned One. They will lead you to your birthright, the power to reclaim the throne from the Usurper," he said, handing the sheet to her while clenching his other fist.

"Oh, very nice. I might like you after all," Jade grinned, tucking the paper into her robes.

"Shall I begin?" he asked. At her nod, a massive form began to rise from his shadow at the wave of his hand. Jade's eyes widened, and then narrowed to slits as she snickered.

"Oh, that fat jerk is going to love this," she laughed.

Meanwhile:

"Viper, this is not a good idea," Jackie reiterated with a long-suffering air. As they crammed into the phone booth, Viper adjusted the short blonde wig she wore and pushed her sunglasses back up her nose.

"I'm telling you, Jackie, something is already going wrong. Jade doesn't fail gracefully, especially these days. The fact she vanished quietly says to me that whatever she was doing worked. And Black is where this scheme begins and ends," she told him. The phone booth moved, and Viper pulled an onion out of her jacket pocket to put in Jackie's hand.

Jackie looked it over reluctantly. He wondered if Viper realized she had been carrying the vegetables around so much she smelled like them most of the time now? He had considered pointing it out, but commenting on how a woman smells did not seem a good idea.

Besides, Uncle would blurt it out at some point.

'Wait, why am I giving Uncle the opportunity to be rude?' Jackie wondered. He frowned, reexamining his logic until the phone booth let them out. They stepped out of the fake public communication receptacle into a scene of chaos, as agents rushed about while alarms blared and red lights flashed.

They stood next to each other, still at the sounds of gunfire and stuff getting smashed. Viper grinned and looked over at Jackie.

"What did I tell ya?" the thief smirked nervously. Pulling off the wig, she pulled out another onion.

X X X

"'Yohohooo, Yohohohoho, something-something-something, Bink's sake'!" Jade sang as she walked through the familiar corridors of Section 13. After the big rush upstairs to deal with Ozeki, she had only needed to briefly duck into shadows to conceal her presence.

Not that she couldn't handle Black's agents, but it would only take a brief word to Jackie and she would get some real challenge.

Which would normally be cool enough, but today she was just aiming for a speedy pay off.

"All my defeats reversed in one stroke. That's something I can bring to the table with this 'Red King'," Jade congratulated herself. She turned into the Vault corridor and found she wasn't alone.

She raised an eyebrow at the lone man in black. He could pass for a typical enough agent she supposed, save for having prominent bushy sideburns.

"You again? You trying to move up from cannon fodder to recurring character?" Jade asked. She hadn't expected this. Captain Black had always trusted his tech and then magic to keep the Vault secure over real guards.

"I'm going to have to ask you to vacate the premises. You are not authorized to be here," he told her, not breaking his attention stance.

"Ohh, trying the whole 'brush off, too cool for you' intimidation? Sorry pal, I've done the adventure bit, read that book, seen the movie, and the series. What's going to happen is you get stomped quickly by me, and the only problem I might run into is someone who actually matters showing up before I make my escape.

"So, why don't you save yourself a beat down and just punch yourself in the face and play possum?" Jade mocked.

*BANG*

Jade blinked and looked to where she had felt a tug on her left arm. Then glanced to the smoking revolver Wisker had drawn. Inspecting the sleeve, she found a hole in the slightly baggy cloth, still warm from the passage.

"Did you shoot at me? With a bullet?" Jade demanded. Her eyes narrowed, and Wisker discarded the spent shell, replacing it in a near blur. The casing hit the floor with a clear ping that made her scowl.

"I'm not your family. I'm not magic. I'm a lawman; you're a criminal. And I'm not letting you get a hold of these armies or those weapons," he told her coldly, pointing a thumb back at the Vault door.

He dodged and rolled as a crescent of shadow tore through the air. It hit the Vault door and sizzled on the wards that flared into life across it. Jade struck a pose with both her fans opened and raised, slightly dipped forward.

"Well, if that's the way you want it," the Queen hissed.

X X X

Ozeki threw back his head and roared as water fell from the ceiling on the burning carnage he had unleashed. He held the pose a moment longer than needed, observing the system of fire extinguishment. Quite ingenious, for humans.

It was a welcome sensation, the false rain, after so many years locked in numb wood. His mind drifted back to other battles where the sound of rain falling on fire had graced his ears.

"Captain Black! Stop this, you need to take control!" a voice broke into his reverie. Righting himself, Ozeki put his arms behind his back and commanded his troops in the vast chamber to halt. He had heard the whispers of this man, and seen through the eyes of his tribe the skill he possessed.

But some matters are best seen, face to face. Besides, as thrilling as it was to ravage this fortress in the name of the Royalty, the lack of death was getting tiresome. But it was not his place to question her, only to "Protect and Obey." This encounter should prove entertaining though.

"Jackie Chan – your name floats through the sleeping darkness of the world. Both a curse and praises for laying low so many. I thought you'd be taller," Ozeki greeted, raising a hand to Jackie. The archaeologist stopped and frowned, looking at the sumo ninjas standing their ground in the mayhem. They were monstrous in bulk, their proportions putting him in mind of some man-ape.

"Captain Black-" he began, before the General cut him off with a swipe of his hand.

"He's not going to answer, the Royalty has given me the upper hand. Almost a pity – he was strong enough to have fought me for quite awhile longer. I would have had to use his love of justice to subvert rather than outright usurpation.

"But enough of the past. I, General Ozeki, wish to see if you truly are a warrior worthy of such renown," the General grinned. Spreading his legs down to a near crouch, he planted his hands on his legs and stomped his feet one after the other.

"Where is Jade?" Jackie demanded, assuming his own stance. Green nostrils flared and red eyes narrowed at him.

"You refer to Her Majesty so familiarly? ! Her will keeps you from a death at my strong hands, but I will gladly shatter your limbs, for the glory of the Royalty!" he screamed. Snapping up from the stance, he charged Jackie with a leaping start that cut the distance between them in half. Jackie twisted on the spot, evading the driving elbow and launching a kick, knocking the possessed Black to his knees.

He fell, denting the floor with the outstretched elbow. Pulling himself up, Ozeki shrugged off the Captain's black coat and rolled up the sleeves of the dark red turtleneck.

"Hmm, this body is strong, but it lacks the bulk I am accustomed to. No matter; you stand in the way of the Queen, no obstacle is worth a second consideration to aiding her ambition," he told Jackie, cracking his knuckles.

"You may be skilled, but all I need is to hit you once!" Ozeki screamed, charging with a raised fist. Jackie backpedaled before the fist struck the floor he had been standing on, caving it in to the point Ozeki nearly lost his footing.

"WAAAH!" Jackie exclaimed at the display.

"One… hit," Ozeki chuckled. His eyes widened before he was knocked on his back. Viper rose from her sweep kick behind him and flashed Jackie a smile.

"I figured you were up to something when the not-so-jolly giants stopped in their tracks," the thief said.

"Look out!" Jackie called out. Viper hopped into the air just in time to avoid Ozeki's sweeping arm from hitting her feet. Viper pulled out an onion as he got to his feet and stepped back to keep both humans in his sights.

"Onions? This state does have an advantage, since those are nothing but smelly vegetables to me right now," Ozeki laughed.

"I'm saving them for Jade actually, they don't agree with her these days," Viper corrected, stashing the vegetable back in a pocket.

"You! You would dare defile the Royalty with that… venomous weed! I will rip out your arms and gouge your eyes out, WITH YOUR OWN THUMBS!" Ozeki screamed, blurring into motion.

Viper dodged backwards for dear life as the General got in her face. His fists swung out wildly, his rage all too apparent as he seemed to be nearly foaming at the mouth. Each miss was a near miss, leaving a gust of wind in its wake, knocking her hair around.

'Crap, I'm going to die,' Viper realized when her back hit the wall.

She saw the fist coming in a second; it filled her vision as reflex took hold, jerking her head to the right. She knew it wouldn't be enough.

Jackie brought his blow down on the green head in that same instant. One crack was followed by another.

Viper blinked, before hissing in pain. Black's hijacked fist was buried in the concrete wall up to its wrist, a hairsbreadth from her ear. A good deal of her black hair was buried with it, pulled quite taut.

She looked into the demon-masked face listless for the moment, with Jackie's fist still on top of it.

"Thanks," she sighed. She regretted it instantly, as the word seemed to turn the bad guy on as his eyes light back up. Pulling his fist out along with the hair tangled on it, he swung around towards Jackie.

Viper was swung with it, the weight throwing him off and sending him back to the ground. Viper skidded along the floor. Rolling into a crouch, she winced and lifted a hand to the wet patch of her scalp. Eyes like dishpans, she watched Ozeki throw away a clump of very familiar hair. There was no hair in the all too existent wet patch on her scalp.

"Viper?" Jackie asked, turning his eyes for a moment from the Oni dusting himself off as he got a feeling from the thief. He took a step back; she looked… well he wasn't sure, but it was scary.

"Now you've done it," she whispered, pulling her hand away from the bald spot while the other came out of a pocket with brass knuckles.

"Thank you Chan, I almost disobeyed an order there. Killing her would have been an inexcusable mistake," Ozeki nodded to Jackie. Viper's brass knuckles plowed into his cheek, sending him stumbling.

"Your mistake was messing with a girl's hair! Hair pullers don't get their asses kicked," Viper told him.

Ozeki cracked his neck and stepped into her space, sending an openhanded thrust toward her stomach. She danced around it, going low and under the following hook. She smacked upward with the back of her hand.

Between his legs.

"Uuk," Ozeki croaked, before falling backward.

"That is what hair pullers gets. What are you looking at?" Viper spat first at Ozeki then a dumbstruck Jackie.

"Nothing," Jackie wisely answered, holding up his hands.

Groaning, Ozeki raised a hand and snapped his fingers; the sumo stepped from their attention and turned to face the humans. Still more rose from the shadows starting to fill the room around them.

"Do you still have onions?" Jackie asked as he and Viper went back to back.

"Better, misplaced aggression," she told him, slipping brass knuckles onto her other hand.

"Don't kill, maim," Ozeki moaned from his spot on the floor.

Meanwhile:

*click* *click* Wisker didn't bother reaching for more bullets, he was out.

Jade smiled from her spot crouched on the floor, fan unfolded. She stood up straight as Wisker fell into a low stance, shifting his grip to the barrel of the gun, ready to pistol whip.

"I have had just about enough of you," Jade said around a smile. Tucking her left fan into her belt, she lifted her free hand to a healed wound on her right shoulder. The cut made by the bullet had healed, but there was still dark blood there. Keeping eye contact with the agent, she used the blood to draw a character on her remaining fan.

"And now," she declared, pointing at him with her drawing finger. She dashed forward, closing the fan and holding it behind her. Wisker took his swing at her, but she weaved around it to strike him in the knee with her fan.

He grunted but didn't go down. A coil of shadow sprang from the point of impact, and before he could even step back in distress it grew to wrap around him like a boa on its prey.

The last length covering his mouth, he made muffled exclamations as he struggled against the bonds from his precarious footing. Jade kissed her fan before rising into the air to come to eye level with the bound agent.

"So there. Now what exactly did you think you could accomplish here?" Jade asked mockingly. He obviously couldn't answer, so Jade tapped the shadow tendril over his mouth with the fan, making that segment dissolve.

"You haven't gotten into the Vault yet," he told her with a cold smile. Jade's smirk vanished. Pulling back her sleeve, she uncovered her Super Moose watch and saw how much time she had been wasting on this guy.

"Aren't we cute?" she growled. Poking him in the chest with her fan, she sent him off balance, crashing to the floor.

"Now let's open this package so I can get my presents," Jade muttered, turning to face the Vault.

X X X

Viper thrust her length of steel pipe out and up into a Sumo Khan's forehead. He dissolved into smoke, revealing still more of the ninja rising. Going back to back with Jackie again, she glanced to the wall where the possessed Black was standing in defiance of gravity, watching the fight.

"Ozeki! What's with the spectator? Afraid to get beat by a girl again?" Viper called.

"Don't make him madder!" Jackie protested as his rising kick combo disposed of another Shadowkhan.

"Fool, I am not afraid of anything but failing at what I am commanded to do by my betters. You inspire such anger that if I were to fight you personally I would lose control and end your pathetic lives! And that would be failing Her Majesty," he answered with that deep voice of his.

Viper was about to shout something at him when a green beam streaked across the room and struck Ozeki in the chest. The blow seemed to break whatever spell let him adhere as he fell to the floor, though he did manage to land in a crouch from the fall.

The giant Shadowkhan stopped as Tohru and Uncle descended the stairs from the higher level, fish drawn.

"You!" Ozeki roared, pointing at Tohru.

"Me?" the large wizard-in-training asked as he and Uncle reached the bottom floor.

"Aiyah! Captain Black, I told you not to listen to darkness within! No one listens to Uncle," the crotchety wizard cursed. Reaching into his vest, he pulled out a vial of green potion, handing it to a surprised Tohru.

"If Jade is not here she is seeking other prize, the Vault," Uncle told him.

"The masks!"

"The Talismans!" Viper and Jackie exclaimed in horror. Their stomachs knotted again, each registering the threat the other noted. Jade might just be unstoppable with that much firepower.

"Tohru, use your spell to defeat mask, Uncle will stop Jade," Uncle said before sprinting off.

"You think I will just-" Ozeki growled. A line of sumo rose to block the wide doorway Uncle was approaching, and vanished in a plume of smoke as the wizard fired off a barrage of chi zaps. He vanished through the smoke, out of sight.

"Oh, that was pretty good. I will have to ask permission to kill that one," Ozeki remarked thoughtfully.

Turning his attention back to the humans still in the room, he noted he was alone, with all his troops dispatched. Tohru was holding back while Viper approached, hands glowing, while Jackie moved cautiously with her, pipe now in hand.

"Useless, I can always call up more, and still have plenty to send after the old man. You won't even touch me unless I chAHHH!" the General's boast turned to a war cry as Tohru charged between his two comrades, a streamer of paper trailing from his left fist.

Ozeki planted his footing and assumed a sumo stance. Tohru hit the General like running into a wall. Even his massive fists engulfing Black's did nothing to shift the General. Ozeki looked up at Tohru, smirking to show off his fangs.

"Not bad, good to see there are still sumo with a warrior's heart. But even with this tiny form I am a yokozuna compared to you," Ozeki remarked.

"The contest, is not sumo," Tohru said. The paper now lodged between their hands began to glow green.

"No!" Ozeki shouted. He dragged Tohru with him as he attempted to pull away, not moving the least bit away from the streamer as it began to swirl around him. Tohru released his grip and Ozeki leapt back, still surrounded by the glowing paper.

Tohru clapped his hands together and the paper struck, tightening around Ozeki and sending him crashing to the floor. Snarling, the General struggled against the bonds, writhing on the floor.

"Quickly, the sutra was made to hold Jade, not a masked man," Tohru told Viper. The thief nodded, stepping forward and reaching down. Grabbing the mask by the orange sideburns, she started to pull.

"Graaahh!" he cried out as the demon face began to distort.

"Hair for hair," Viper told him as the mask came loose. Viper held up the mask in triumph while the streaming sutra unwound from the groaning Captain Black. Tohru reached down and began gathering it up while Jackie helped Captain Black to his feet.

"Jackie, I blew it, didn't I? Why does it feel like someone hit me in the-?" Captain Black moaned.

"Sorry, talk-later-have-to-stop-Jade!" Jackie said before dashing off. Viper gave him a smile he found too innocent before handing him the mask and hurrying after Tohru and Jackie.

Black scowled at the mask, and the smoking ruins of the terminals and equipment all around him.

X X X

"Huo xun, Zong zai Xing. Huo xun, Zong zai Xing. Huo xun, Zong zai Xing," Jade chanted(1). She held her fans in front of her, one horizontally, the other vertically. Black chi poured from both in a steady stream, creeping over the Vault door.

The wards blocking her access still shined green in defiance, but had gone from bold shining lines to glowing sketches as her shadows rubbed against them in her ward breaker spell.

A pointed tongue emerged to lick her lips in a lull of chanting, salty she noted. She was sweating quite a bit; these things were made to last, apparently.

No problem, she thought, soon it would break and she could use any shadow to make her escape with the prizes.

Oh yeah, she would need to pick up Ozeki, too. He didn't seem the type to take initiative if she left him here.

"Yu Mo Gwai Gui Fai Di Zao," the familiar chant broke into her thoughts. Just like a green beam shot past her to strike the vault door; her shadows dissipated and the wards began to brighten and expand.

Snarling, she turned in the air, already knowing what she would find. Uncle broke off his chant and spell as Jade faced him. Blowing steam off his puffer, he pushed his glasses back up his nose before pulling out his lizard.

"Jade, you have been doing baaad magic reseeeearch," he accused her casually.

"Oh yeah – it's incomplete, which is all kinds of frustrating, but I take to magic well. Always have, that's why you didn't want me as an apprentice, isn't it? You couldn't stand a pupil that would surpass you," Jade growled.

"So you went with Tohru. Spayed and tamed Tohru, who wasn't even interested in magic!" Jade shrieked.

"Uncle had his reasons. But your ears are closed to any answer Uncle gives besides what you hold in your head, yes?" Uncle answered.

"You think you can stop me by yourself, old man?" Jade taunted, waving her fans mockingly.

"You cannot get in while Uncle is here to repair Vault magic," Uncle pointed out.

"So, just defeat you and then it's easy pickings?" Jade smiled, showing off her teeth.

"You want a piece of Uncle, Jade?" he asked, holding his lizard and puffer at ready.

"Hell yeah, you will have no choice but to acknowledge me when I beat you at your own game. And I don't mean selling junk!

"Huo xun, Zong zai Xing!" Jade broke off her rant to chant, waving her fans by rotating her wrists.

"Yu Mo Gwai Gui Fai Di Zao," Uncle broke into his own chant, waving his charms.

"Xun, Zong-"

"Di Zao-"

"Huo xun-"

"Gwai Gui-"

"Xing!"

"Zao!" the wizard and sorceress chanted over one another. With the final words, Jade slammed her fans together, shooting out a beam of black chi, while Uncle brought his hands together, releasing a beam of green chi from the charms.

The energies collided, and pushed back toward Uncle. The black chi controlled nearly three quarters of the line before it began to be forced back. Jade's eyes widened in disbelief as sweat ran down her face; her magic was being beaten back. Slowly but surely, green advanced against black, towards her.

"How!" she roared, willing her energy to stop his.

"Uncle has more experience, more control. One more thing, Uncle has good magic! One more thing, Uncle is more motivated to save Jade than Jade is to be bad!" he told her, walking forward in the wake of this magic as Jade was subsequently forced back.

"No more things!" Jade protested as the green chi reached her fans. With a popping explosion, the Shadowkhan girl was hurled back. She hit the Vault wall, flaring its wards to life as they zapped her with chi, making her blow off it in a shower of sparks. She skidded on the floor, a fan falling from her grip.

"You will pay! For this!" Jade screamed from her knees. She pounded a fist into the floor, cracking the tile. Uncle said nothing, covering her with his raised puffer.

"Uncle, we're- oh!" Jackie shouted, before taking in the sight of Uncle holding Jade at fish point on her knees.

"Go old timer," Viper laughed, arriving with Tohru.

"Jade…" Tohru sighed in relief. Hissing, Jade snapped open her fan. Uncle fired his zapper, only for it to be deflected away by the fan. Instead of attacking him, Jade sprang forward and past him as he tried to get a bead on her. Swinging the blue and black fan, she fired off the widest chi arc she could.

Tohru's green blast pierced it and something white and green flashed past her eyes.

"Wha?" she uttered as paper appeared around her, glowing.

"Urk!" she gasped as the coiling paper tightened around her. Glowing green characters appeared across its length as she fell forward, her fan clattering to the ground.

Like Ozeki earlier, she struggled against the bonds, but this time the glow of the spell intensified and tightened. In moments, she was only able to toss her head about. Jade hissed, feeling a familiar draining sensation.

"Verde," she spat.

"Yes, I adapted the spells I saw on that container. I wasn't sure it would work, but it still reacts to your shadow chi," Tohru explained.

"Well, this is surprising – we won without even finding all the masks," Viper commented. Jackie almost admonished her for being too cocky, but it hit him then what they had. Jade was in a place she couldn't summon Shadowkhan; she already would have if she could. The latest mask was taken care of too. And she was now tied up in front of them.

"It's over?" Jackie asked the air. Uncle smacked him over the head with two fingers.

"Aiyah! Jade is still dark, we have much research to do before getting her back to normal. And forces of darkness do not roll onto back and give up like dog!" Uncle yelled at him and Viper.

"It is so not over!" Jade chimed in, from where she was trying to scoot along the floor like a caterpillar. Viper suppressed a chuckle at the sight while Tohru picked her up and slung her over his shoulders.

"Careful Tohru, do not let her near shadows!" Uncle warned, eying Tohru's shadow.

"We'll need a cell with full lighting, and magic; she might find a way to use her own shadow," Tohru agreed as he frowned at the corridor, picking out shadows along it.

"Shouldn't we just knock her out until we have a cell ready?" Wisker added from his spot sitting on the floor.

"When did you get here?" Jackie asked the agent.

"Before you; she tied me up. You really should be more observant, and you should knock out the kid," Wisker advised, getting to his feet.

"I don't think- Jade!" Tohru objected, before shouting as Jade began to shift in his grip. That wasn't the problem, the sound was; it sounded like all her bones were snapping! Before he could control his panic, his grip vanished around nothing.

"Aiyah!"

"Waah!"

"Wow," the heroes exclaimed as Jade compressed and lengthened into a naga and sprang from Tohru's shoulder onto the floor.

Her elongated body was covered in the black cloth, and the chi sutra still wrapped around her length, giving her a striped appearance. She landed headfirst, her coils pooling around the head for a moment. Jade recovered quickly, raising her head and shaking it.

"Jade? !" Jackie exclaimed.

"Later!" she hissed. Uncle fired a chi blast at her, too late as she surged away. Her serpentine flight evaded the barrage of green blasts from the wizard until she went between a stunned Jackie's legs and he was struck in the stomach by a blast. Jade vanished around a corner, Viper nearly on her tail.

Viper spotted a shadowed alcove and Jade making for it. The thief dove, reaching for the large snake her friend had turned into, the back of her finger brushing the tip of the tail as she hit the floor. All she had time to do was watch the tip of the tail vanish into the shadow.

"We had her," Tohru stated numbly as Uncle and Jackie ran up to where Viper pounded her fist on the floor. Wisker joined them standing next to the stunned wizard as they looked at the shadow Jade had escaped through.

"Next time, knock the kid out," Wisker told Tohru, straightening his tie.

Windsor Mansion, Later:

"Get this thing off me!" Jade bellowed. She was lying on the conference table, stretched to her full length, the paper still wound tight across her body. Blankman leaned over the table, looking at her intently while Hak Foo and Finn hung back, watching. Her bodyguards also hung back, silently watching the proceedings.

"Cunning, but clearly a first effort. It's already fraying after two uses, and the reinforcement spelling producing friction with the binding spells. Not even a real sutra, at least not a variety I have studied. You only need stop struggling and it will disintegrate in a day; a day-and-a-half if you keep struggling," Blankman reported.

"I can't wait that long! I could use a hand here!" Jade raged, coiling herself up. Finn coughed suspiciously, making Jade narrow her eyes at him.

"How did you regain your shape last time?" Blankman asked.

"I never went all the way, I contorted as needed and used what I had left to pop myself out," Jade hissed, the tip of her tail twitching in anger.

"Ah," the wizard remarked, putting his hands behind his back.

"Ah, what? How do I get back on my feet?" Jade demanded.

"I have no idea, but I have a solution to your paper problem," Blankman informed her, before turning and walking out of the room.

"Well, that's good, right?" Finn spoke up. Jade glared at him and he held up his hands defensively.

"This wouldn't have happened if you gave me the mask," Hak Foo declared.

"So that's why you're hanging around?

"Well, I got into this by popping stuff, I should be able to get out. Start squeezing me until stuff starts popping out," she ordered, unwinding herself from the coil.

"Oh, I am… I am not really comfortable with that," Finn grimaced, stepping back. No way was he gong to "squeeze" random parts of a little girl's body. Monster or not, that was a no go.

"Chimp unlocks puzzle," Hak Foo announced, stepping up to the table and grabbing the midsection of Jade's tail.

'Maybe this wasn't such a good idea,' Jade thought as Hak Foo wrung her in that spot.

Shortly:

Blankman stepped back into the room to a bizarre sight. Hak Foo was being held by the arms by Left and Right, while Jade was striking his back with her tail like a whip. Not a very good whip, he noted, as his shirt wasn't even torn.

"You said 'unlock puzzle'! Not 'wring out towel'!" Jade yelled at him. Blankman cleared his throat, drawing Jade's attention away from the mercenary.

"I hope you have a real solution?" Jade growled, her tail tip raised and swinging menacingly. In response, Blackman pulled his arms out from behind his back, revealing a pair of safety scissors.

"Are you joking?" Jade asked flatly.

"No, he failed to reinforce it against purely mundane force. Please hold still," he requested, stepping up where she was on the table. Picking up the end of her tail, he found a border of the slightly glowing paper, and shoved the scissors under it. Jade jerked in response, but he held the spot steady.

"I have drawn no blood, one moment," the magical accountant told her. He closed the scissors, cutting clear through the paper. The glow flared, and then faded; grabbing the longer segment, Blankman began unwrapping it as a sighing Jade obliging rolled, letting him pull it away.

When the paper was pulled away, Jade shook herself down her length and let out a relieved sigh.

"Thanks, at least someone around here is dependable," the Queen said, before frowning back at her tail.

"My Queen, if I may?" Left asked, stepping up to her.

"Eh? You got some idea?" she asked, cocking her head. He nodded, and after a moment's hesitation, Jade nodded back.

Left made his hand into a fist, save for extended middle and index fingers. He jabbed her at what should have been the base of her neck, then her midpoint. He struck at least six other spots in a near blur before stepping back. A groaning sound emitted from Jade's body, before it seemed to burst then contract into its proper shape with a chorus of bone snapping.

Jade sat on the table and grabbed her knees with a smile.

"Ouch," she said cheerfully. Feeling up her body to make sure everything was where it was supposed to be, she stopped at her chest, hearing paper crinkle. Frowning, she reached into her robes and pulled out a very crumpled but legible piece of paper. She smiled, rereading what Ozeki had given her.

"What is that?" Blankman asked.

"Silver lining, silver lining," Jade answered.

Section 13, Later:

Captain Black sat in his office, his desk covered in reports. Damage reports that told him how long it would be before they could get their tech edge back. Injury reports that lacked fatalities but still showed a lack of sufficient manpower for the immediate future. Section 13 had taken it on the chin this time.

He had the Talismans working this time to convince his immediate superiors. He only hoped it stopped there. The Talismans might become a poisoned prize if people started to think of them as weapons to deploy.

Though he now had to face the possibility himself. He looked to the man seated across from him and kept his face straight.

"You're lucky they didn't notice you had shot Jade," he told Wisker.

"A glancing hit, I wasn't trying to kill her," the agent answered.

"Yes, that's good. But these aren't a few big bad monsters we are talking about; these Shadowkhan armies could threaten the whole world. Infinite troops, utterly obedient to an individual – an individual under evil influence.

"I hate to say it, but after today Section 13 can't afford to just follow Jackie's lead in the wings. I have a new assignment for you, Agent Wisker," Captain Black stated. Opening a drawer, he pulled out a folder and handed it to Wisker. The agent opened the folder, and after a moment's browsing an eyebrow rose over his sunglasses.

"What do we need this for?" he asked.

"Plan B," Black answered, putting his hands together.

Prison:

"Iron" Eddie Metcizwki rolled on his cot and glared out towards the bars of his cell. He usually went out like a light, since he was just a kid that had been the case. When he couldn't sleep, it usually meant something bad was in the air. He was proudly superstitious – there was too much freaky stuff in the world to be otherwise in his opinion.

Restless, he got to his feet and began to pace his cell. His hand drifted to his neck and he muttered a curse. He wished he had his charm, a lock of white horse hair he had bought down in Texas from an old native. It was supposed to ward off death spirits. He was pretty sure the guy was a fraud, but on sleepless nights it had eased his mind.

Walking to the bars, he placed his hands around the cold steel, peering into the darkness. Prison was a bad place; any number of things could be keeping him up out there in the dark. He had heard the rumors how before he got canned some geezer had been fake busted out to get conned by the Feds. And before that, a bunch of ninjas had led a breakout.

Others laughed at the idea; Iron Eddie reached for a charm that wasn't there.

He drew in a deep breath and nearly coughed. It was hot, when did the air get hot, he wondered?

At first he thought a door was opening somewhere, squeaky as hell, begging for oil like a starving man for scraps. But it stretched out and grew louder. Focusing on it the sound changed, thunder accompanied it, but not real thunder. A Western came to mind just as a horse called out.

Or at least it was the sound a horse might make if it was bigger than it had any business being and had a taste for humans.

Without realizing it, Iron Eddie was pressed against the back of his cell as the horrid cacophony drew closer, the stone quaking behind him as he longed to sink into it.

He knew what to expect before it blazed past his cell. He should have closed his eyes; he didn't want to see Hell's carriage, bloodstained iron and decaying black wood pulled by a demon. Worse was the coachman, come in person to collect whatever poor man had punched his ticket.

He didn't want to see them; he didn't want to know they existed! For a moment that stretched on as he couldn't breathe, it looked like that face would turn and see him.

'If it does, I die,' he realized, too afraid to even panic.

Then it was done. The carriage of the damned passed and the sounds vanished without so much as an echo. He fell to his knees and then his hands, panting, dripping with sweat, murmuring forgotten prayers.

Forget the talisman, he was looking for the chaplain. The Devil had passed him by tonight, and he never wanted to be that close ever again.

Somewhere in Baton Rouge:

Monsieur Verde poured over a scroll spread on a trinket-covered desk with a magnifying glass. His hat hung from the same rack as his coat behind him in the cramped space. Wood hit wood nearby and the wizard raised his head. Plopping a tiger statuette on one end of the scroll and a wood carving of a spearman with a far too big head on the other end, he rose from his chair.

Tattoos swirling on his bare arms, he opened a door into a deep closet, the walls entirely lined with masks – wooden masks with the scent of antiquity, unpainted specimens smelling of the carving table, and a number of crude plastic atrocities freshly repainted with his marks.

A bare spot on the wall nearly screamed amidst the host of hostile faces.

He kneeled to pick up the mask from the floor, both pieces of it. Brushing aside the white hair, he took in the likeness of Daolon Wong, split down the middle.

Stepping out of the closet, the door closed behind him with a thunk. Tossing the mask pieces aside, he didn't look as they fell into a trashcan. Long strides carried him past the desk to a cupboard he gently opened and pulled a shoebox out of, smile widening as he stroked the lid.

"A class act, ended on a sour note but still a good performance. But wait till they get a load o' me," the dark man grinned, opening the box.

The mask fragments burst into flame, burning almost merrily in the metal trashcan.

Windsor Mansion:

Blankman looked over a document with a blank expression; giving a nod, he placed it in the tray labeled "OUT". Next to it were three more boxes – IN, QUEEN, and LEGAL. Reaching for the next to last paper in the "IN" pile, towered over by the "QUEEN" pile, he stopped.

Frowning, he reached down, pulling open a desk drawer. The drawer was empty save for a box of cards labeled "Windsor Ace" in curving Ol' English style. Picking up the box, he opened it with one hand, and a card popped out from the deck to flutter in the air. Plucking the card from the air, he turned it over. A stylized image of Daolon Wong adorned it, partially covered by a black X.

"This could be… troublesome," Blankman remarked. The card crumpled in his grasp, before dissolving into dust.

Elsewhere:

Laughter echoed through the dark stone chamber, statues of Chinese soldiers standing silent guard in the meager torchlight. A wizard dressed in a very dark classical Chinese style practically danced, holding a clay doll covered in cracks.

"Alas Sifu, you did not get me after all! Now you can watch from Hell as I succeed where you failed!" the wizard cackled.

Raising his hand, he threw down the clay likeness, shattering it across the stone floor. Grinning from ear to ear, he pulled out a remote control, pressing a button.

Light flooded the room, sending him to blinking. He stalked across the space now obstructed by light to stand before a sphere set in a glass pedestal. Running his hands over it, Chinese characters briefly flared into life in their wake.

"Perfect, simply perfect. All is ready for my reign to begin," he sighed contentedly. Stepping back, the overdressed wizard reached into his pocket and pulled out an orange sphere a bit larger than an apple. Narrowing his eyes, he could just make out the shape in its depths.

"Only one wish left, but it will be the key to the power to begin granting my own wishes. My night is coming at long last," he whispered, stroking the smooth surface. Withdrawing his other hand, he pulled out a glass vial. Holding it up to the light, the single black hair within became visible.


1). "The living twilight, gather and form". Chant courtesy of Nocturne no Kitsune.

AN:

Well, I am back to this story. Did you miss it? This chapter stalled something fierce, but I am a bit sad to see it end, in all honesty.

Hope the absence hasn't made me loose my touch with this story.

Ozeki was fun to write. As for Wisker, don't worry about OCs crowding things; he has a very specific purpose in the tale.

Expect the next chapter much sooner: "A Matter of Humanity: Come Reap". Chapter Ten, finally – this is a big one.

Until then, long days and pleasant nights to you all.