"You never told me that you were that good with the archery," Peeta breaks the ice after some very uncomfortable silence.
I keep looking straight forward, Finnick and Johanna a few steps ahead of us, casting furtive glances at us from time to time, "I told you that I was part of the archery club back in the day," my tone trying and failing to show any indifference. Just listening to Peeta and my heart is laced with longing.
"Well, if you show how good you're to principal Crane I'm pretty sure that he is going to create an archery club just for you," he says all serious to me, as if that is a real possibility, and for all I know it may be true, the school here seems a bit too carried away with sports, Cato and Thresh being the prime example.
It's futile so I look at him, almost gasping when my eyes meet his, when did he get so close? "So, now that you know my secret skill how about you telling me yours?"
He laughs, a sound that I missed so much, "It's hardly a secret skill, considering that I was the runner up," my eyebrows arch up and he continues, "I wrestle, you know with the singlet and everything,"
The image of Peeta in red singlet appears in my mind, damn…
"Runner up? So you're not that good?" my teasing coaxes a huff from him.
He lets out a bitter laugh, "Yeah, Rye won the last tournament, a total cheater that one,"
Ah, brother rivalry, it's not like I can sympathize, Prim and I rarely have a fight, "What? Was he on juice or something? Or you're just a sore loser?"
"He used some old fashioned emotional blackmail, you know, the whole 'I want to impress this girl' thing," he says with a mocking tone and that coaxes a laugh from me. Both Johanna and Finnick turn to look at us, stupid grins on their faces, "Although I think I could pull off this card this year around…" he says a little timidly and I try to not get any hopes out of it.
Suddenly I remembered something, "She texted me, Johanna,"
The smile vanishes from her face, Finnick turns to look at her with an amused smirk. "Really? Didn't know you were friends, the type that exchanges messages," Peeta confides.
"Yeah, me neither," I say good-humoredly.
There is this strange air around us, almost like static, just that is a lot more, way more, awkward. Is nothing alike the naturally easy pace that we used to have together, is actually hard to explain, almost as if there was a barrier that is impending us to go back to where we used to be together.
In a couple of seconds we are back at the swimming pool where now Prim is playing with Marco and Rue, in the far corner I can see my mom reading a magazine while lounging with a sleeping Haymitch next to her. Among the rest of the people around I recognize Cato, Thresh and Madge playing something in a table under a parasol near the bar.
Finnick and Johanna approach the table and the other three turn to them, "So what are you guys playing?"
"Domino," Cato grumbles, "It sucks,"
Madge and Thresh laugh at that, "You're such a sore loser, don't be like that," the blonde girl says, she then lay eyes on me, "Katniss, come get some drinks with me!" she says rather abruptly.
A good glance at Madge and I feel a wave of embarrassment because of my choice in clothing, a nautical one piece, with a tie at the bust covered with navy blue stripes, "This is a cute maillot," I say and cringe at my choice of words immediately.
Madge loops on arm around mine and leads us to the bar, "Maillot?" she tilts her head.
I let out a nervous laugh, how much I hate girl talk, "Yeah, is the name for this sort of one-piece swimsuit, to be more precise is a halter maillot, at least is what I learned at the atelier, Cinna made one once,"
"Ah, that is cool, I should bring you along when my mom decides to go shopping, at least I can learn a few things," she says confidently, "Just between us, I really dislike going shopping,"
I stare at her as if looking at her for the very first time, amazed. My mouth hanging agape must give her a wrong impression, though.
"Oh, sorry… I just thought that you didn't like either, you seem a bit… sorry…" she says with a subtle blush on her cheeks.
"No it's not that!" I nearly shout, "It's just… where have you been my whole life?" we laugh and I imagine that must be how best friends hang around together, at least the ones who rather choose to be at home watching some crappy reality show than at the shopping mall looking at impossible Dior dresses.
We get to the bar and order four sodas, for me, Madge, Cato and Peeta, the latter because I feel compelled in getting one for him, out of politeness of course.
"I actually wanted to talk to you in private," she says while we wait for the bar attendant.
"Oh, about what?"
She squirms a bit, "It's… it's a-about… me and Cato,"
"Ah, that…" I start to fiddle with my braid. Awkward… "Look, I was really wasted, sorry if I embarrassed you guys,"
"No, that's not really it, it's just…" she sighs, "My father kind of disapproves Cato, you see he used to be bully, major one, got into some trouble with Sherriff Boggs, it was a big mess… but he is not like that anymore!" she adds quickly.
I raise my hands, "Hey, calm down, I totally understand, but just so you know, if I was able to tell that you two were dating, then… well, you father knows, I'm kinda thick with these things, so yeah, he probably knows," we share a laugh.
"My mom knows," she looks at me with a gleeful expression, "last week he climbed a pipeline that is close to my window, the only thing is that he forgot that everyone has a very good view of said pipeline in from the conservatory on the first floor,"
"Oh!" we laugh soundly, picturing Cato climbing the walls to see Madge and being caught in the act by her mother… well, that seems quite hilarious, "And what she did?"
"At first she came in to my room as if to speak to me about lunch, as if nothing have had happened,"
"What have happened to Cato?"
She smirks, "He was under the bed," she seems to enjoy my reactions at each revelation, "She was about to leave, and we about to relax when she stopped in the doorway and said, 'and Cato can joy us at the table, after he washes his hands, they must be full of rust from the pipes,'"
The waiter interrupts her narrative, just long enough to see me gape at her with what must be a very good imitation of a fish out of water. The passing thought of my mother finding Peeta under my bed send a wave of gratuitous shame all over me, and then my mind conjures something worse… Haymitch could find him under my bed.
Not that I want Peeta under my bed.
"And you father didn't thought that was suspicious?" I ask with genuine curiosity.
She muses this for a second, "Maybe, but I don't really see a whole lot of them and dad likes to think that I'm a good company to Cato," she says a little bitterly, "Improving his social skill and whatnot, as a friend of course,"
I nod slowly, gathering the cans of soda; she has this calculating look on her face, eyes darting from me to table.
"So…you and Peeta? How long you two are going to keep beating around the bush?" she sings songs the question, real concern on her features.
The nervous laugh that escapes me is a very good indication of my current predicament with Peeta, I am walking on eggshells, "It really depends on him… I mean… I screwed things pretty bad,"
"Not that bad," I eye her with skepticism, "I heard of what happened, part of it at least," she says after my shocked expression, who else knows that. Great, now I am probably the new slut on town, something stirs inside me – there is a very good chance that I had lost my virginity in some R-rated version of this story, not that I really care, but if mom hears something… - "But hey, I know for sure that Peeta kind of lost a little bit of the reason there,"
"Did he?"
"Well, it could have gone worse, Cato actually broke a boys nose once…" she says a conspiratorially, "He'd flirted with me on the line for the theater," I look at her with horror, that is the sort of behavior that she is used with Cato? "And before you ask me, yes that was long time ago, and no we were not even dating back then, that's how deep his anger issues were back in the day,"
"You domesticated him very well," I say trying to lighten the mood before we reach the table.
She smiles, "That I did," she says before handing said boy his soda and kissing him on the cheek. It's sweet the way he eyes her with surprise, and ever so subtly he softly holds her wrist in a very delicate way, like she is something fragile that could break under pressure. I wonder if that's how Peeta and I were before the whole Gale thing blew out of proportion.
Taking Madge's word in, maybe it was more Peeta's fault than mine, he was the one who broke up with me and decided that I was unfaithful, not that I am one hundred percent innocent here, Gale did kissed me, but it wasn't like I kissed him back or that I actually cheated on Peeta, for Christ's sake we're not even boyfriend and girlfriend officially – according to Prim it takes the status change on your facebook profile to validate the whole affair nowadays.
Yeah, thinking more clearly now, maybe it was just my inexperience and hurt due the separation that made me see things in a different way. And suddenly all the angst and self-loathing that I did the past couple of weeks seem so childish, girly and so teenage-ish that all that I can feel now is anger towards Peeta.
I practically shove the can of soda on his chest when I approach him, he seems startle at first than he changes to just plain confused, mouthing a 'what?' and for a second my brain decides to crash while choosing to smack the crap out of him or kissing him. It's even more infuriating to feel like this, so torn up because of someone.
Johanna and Finnick seem very amused by sudden change of demeanor. The sly smiles, the confused expression that Thresh gives me and the questioning looks from Cato and Madge set me off.
With a scoff I make my way to the chair where I left my things, ready to bark at Haymitch and ask him to go home. However Peeta decides that we need to discuss our relationship here, and maybe if he wasn't with his pale cheeks flushed and sweating in the most endearing way I would probably yell at him, his firm yet gentle grip on my arm does strange things to me.
"Are you okay?" he asks concerned.
It all adds to my now full-on wrath outburst, "Oh! Now you are asking before making any decision?" for a brief second I consider that I may be having my PMS, not that I really care, it suits the whole situation.
"W-what? Hey!" he shouts when I yank my arm from his grip and stride towards my mother and Haymitch. She looks a bit taken aback by the scene, Haymitch borderlines amusement and cockiness, Prim comes rushing from the pool.
"Honey, is everything alright?" mom asks with her eyes trained on Peeta, who is standing just a few feet from us, behind him our friends are trying (and failing) to not look at us, a few passer-byes do look at us with subtle glares. So much for etiquette and good manners, my inner Effie Trinket chastises.
"Yeah, I'm fine, can we please just go?" my voice is far from fine and come on, everyone here can tell why I want to leave.
Haymitch snickers, "Heh, boy trouble, sweetheart?" his smirk fades at the scowl that I throw at him.
"Maybe you two could work this out?" Prim chirps, she is looking at Peeta, and is not so surprising to see her take his side since she always had a soft spot for him. My skin blister at this, "I mean, it is for the best right?" that is something precious, Prim scared of me, happens from time to time, at least once a month when she tries to defy my cycle.
I grit out the words, "I said that I am fine,"
No one says a word to me the whole way back home.
The knock at my doorway makes me lose focus from my reading, I'm at the very end of Romeo and Juliet, and if Juliet thought for a second that feigning her death to try to escape with her Romeo was a good idea, well… the bitch had it all coming.
"Want to talk about what happened at the club?" it's mom, she has been keeping an eye out for since the drive home, Haymitch is also in the house and this only adds to my suspicion that there is something between them. I don't really know how I feel about this.
I give her a shrug, "Nah, I realized that I was dumb and he was dumber and that's pretty much it," it feels like a whole explanation is needed, "I gave my all on this… whatever I had with Peeta, and still I wasn't good enough in the end," I huff out.
Mom has this face going on and I don't know what to make tails of it. A smile appears on her lips.
"What?" I nearly bark, coaxing a laugh from her.
She takes a sit at the edge of my bed, and I hug my legs to make room for her, "You're young, the both of you, and this sort of 'crisis' do happen quite often," she actually air quotes the word crisis and that makes me smile a bit, "All couples have their bad moments,"
"Even you and dad?"
"Especially me and your dad," she laughs, her smile becoming a little sad, "He wasn't the dreamboat that you and Prim came to know, it took me years to turn that piece of coal into a diamond," that is something that I came to love but never admitted, the few moments in which mom talks openly about dad, the way that her voice always soften at the recollections from the past.
It takes me back to precious memories of my own, at how dad used to call mom in a singsong voice whenever he returned from work, how she used to smile at him no matter how he looked after a long day, or even the gentle way that he used to lean and kiss the palm of her hand when she caressed his cheek.
"So…you're trying to say that…"
She looks serious at me, "I'm trying to say that you both did stupid things, and that is okay, because teenagers are stupid," I'm about to say something witty back at her when she completes, "And no, it doesn't get any better when you get older, you're still going to do stupid things, just that they'll happen less often,"
I bite my lips, she gives me a pointed glance and leaves the room with no more words.
It takes me less than three seconds to scramble after my phone and send a message to Peeta.
A/N: To all my reader… I'm so sorry.
For being a bastard and taking ages to put up such a 'meh' chapter. Sorry if the things went against your wishes, but the way that Katniss starts to perceive relationships is actually the similar the way that I see. It's a game made for two players, and more often than not, both parts of the couple will screw things up.
There is actually going to be an epilogue. So don't feel bad, things are going to look up for the couple.
