Heeeeeeeeeeey everyone... *sneaks out from where I've been hiding for the past six months* Remember me? Please don't be too mad. I just finished my senior year of high school (which was absolutely insane and I had no time for ANYTHING besides homework), and I know what college I'll be going to in August and I was in Iceland and then China and Scottsdale and now Hawaii, but I'm back!

As a reward for waiting for so long, I'm posting chapters 12 and 13 consecutively. The next three chapters (at least) will be about Christmas with the Avengers and how they adjust to Natasha's time in Asgard, and everyone is proud of Natasha in this chapter so be ready for that. I really hope you guys like this!

Btw: For anyone following my story But Then, Then I Saw the Moon, I'm almost done with chapter 23. I'll try to have it up by the weekend, I promise.

Anyway, I'll be quiet so you all can read now. Enjoy!


Chapter 12: Home for Christmas

The two weeks passed too quickly for Loki. The first week, he woke up early in the mornings and worked until late at night, and even skipped his meals, much to Natasha's irritation. After the first week (and a threat to move to her own room somewhere else in the palace), he finally agreed to relax. She convinced him to eat with her, and insisted on sitting with him wherever he was so she could be sure he wasn't overworking himself. She found that if she was with him, he was more conscious of his own needs because he was aware of hers. If he felt hungry, it reminded him that they both needed to eat, and if he felt tired, he realized that she probably needed to sleep too. Secretly, she wanted to be able to watch him rule, and see that she was right and he was taking care of the people as well as Odin ever had. In her-admittedly quite biased-opinion, he was better than Odin.

Soon enough, it was Christmas Eve, and Natasha felt like a child again. She was filled with energy and couldn't sleep, even though sleeping was the only thing Loki wanted to do. He was worried about how he had ruled over the past two weeks, worried about whether or not she would be punished, and he was exhausted. But watching her smile and run around the room, making sure all the presents were wrapped and ready for the next day and that she had her dress and Loki's outfit picked out (which she had done three days earlier but had to make sure), he couldn't be irritated. She was so happy and free that he wanted to watch every moment of it, but he couldn't stop himself from dozing off for a few minutes at a time. Around midnight, he had dozed off, but woke up when she kissed his forehead softly.

"Shhh, Loki. Go back to sleep," she murmured, brushing his hair off of his face. "It's late, and you need to rest."

"You need sleep too, though," he said as he turned to face her. He frowned when he saw she was wearing a black dress with green runes embroidered on it and a black, hooded, fur-lined cape. "Are you going somewhere? What's going on?"

"Calm down. It's midnight, and I can't sleep. I was just going to go talk to Heimdall for a little while," she said, smiling down at him softly. He tried to push himself into a sitting position, but she held him down, gently and firmly.

"Do you want me to come with you?" he asked, his mind whirring with all the possible ways she could get hurt, and she rolled her eyes.

"Loki, I'm a big girl. I can handle myself. You need to sleep. I promise I won't be gone long," she said, kissing him lightly. "And since I knew you wouldn't let me go alone, I asked Audun to accompany me. He's going to escort me to the Bifrost and back to the palace when I'm ready."

"Ok," Loki said, smiling sleepily at the woman he loves. "Just be careful."

"I promise. Now sleep," she said softly, pulling the hood up around her curls and leaving the room silently. Loki watched her go with heavy eyes before falling into a deep, peaceful sleep.

Audun met her at the palace doors and accompanied her silently through the darkened streets of Asgard. When they were outside the city and at the edge of the Bifrost, he stopped her.

"I thought you weren't leaving for Midgard until the morning, my lady. You should be asleep," he said, and Natasha rolled her eyes.

"Audun, you've seen me at my weakest, when I couldn't have sunk any lower. Just call me Natasha," she said. He smiled at her.

"I would, my lady, if that were true. But you were never weak. You were smart. You survived. You were strong and regal and just when everyone thought Arnljot had broken you, you bounced back," he said softly, looking at her with admiration in his honey colored eyes. "I know you think I was only kind to you because I'm attracted to men, but that was only part of why I didn't participate in raping you. I was kind to you because I respect you, as a woman and a queen. I've seen girls be forced into your position and break with less than you ever put up with. One night with the guards and they were all but dead. The ones that survived were relocated to the brothels and whorehouses of Asgard where the guards couldn't destroy them any further. Your mother ran away before she could be given to the guards. The girls working in the palace all knew what happened when they disobeyed too many times, or when they were beaten or treated like dirt. They were given to the guards, who either killed the girls or destroyed their minds to the point where they had to be relocated. Natasha, you came here, knowing you would be punished, and you survived it. You remained intact. You were not weak, and you were not at your lowest point, as much as you may believe. You behaved as a queen would, and therefore you have my respect as a queen."

"Thank you," she said, her green eyes glistening as she hugged him tightly.

"For what, my lady? Guards are supposed to protect people, and I did a pretty horrible job protecting you," he said, half teasing, half serious. She shook her head.

"From my position, every bit of kindness helped. You protected me in the only way you could. I'm sorry Arnljot wasn't better," she said. He laughed at her softly.

"My lady, I'm sorry Arnljot wasn't better too. Maybe, in some twisted reality, he could have been a good person, and maybe we could have been happy and you wouldn't have been hurt by him. But it's like you said, these are the cards we were dealt long ago, and there's no point in trying to change them now. He was a horrible person, and he deserved his death," Audun said. "Now go. I know you promised Loki you wouldn't be gone long and you still need to sleep before going to Midgard tomorrow."

"Thank you, Audun," she said, walking quickly across the rainbow bridge where her grandfather was waiting for her.

"Natasha," Heimdall said with a smile. She nodded to him respectfully.

"Heimdall," she said, moving to stand near him. He stepped down from his podium in the middle of the Observatory and opened his arms, inviting her in for a hug. She accepted it, feeling like a child compared to her grandfather's much larger frame.

"I see you are recovering," he said as he pulled away to look at her. "Slowly, but you are recovering."

"Loki's been taking good care of me," she admitted, smiling despite herself.

"I'm proud of him. He is a good king," he said, resting his hand on her shoulder gently. "But more importantly, I'm proud of you, Natasha."

"Why me?" she asked, tilting her head in confusion. He laughed softly, guiding her over to the large window looking out at the thousands of stars filling the universe.

"For the same reason everyone is proud of you. You did what no one else could do, survived what no one should ever have to survive, and overcame every obstacle you had to face. It's like Audun said, you remained intact, and you acted like a queen," her grandfather told her, his golden eyes shining. "You will keep your promise to Clint, you're planning on showing them everything so they will accept Loki, and you somehow learned to trust people despite the pain you were going through. You are more than what Asgard deserves for a queen."

"I don't know. I never imagined myself as a ruler, and a year ago, all I wanted was to go back to Midgard," she said softly, scanning the stars to find her friends. She didn't understand how Heimdall could see everyone in the entire universe all the time. With a start, she realized something she never even considered, and her head snapped to look at her grandfather. "Heimdall?"

"Yes, my queen?" he asked, an almost teasing smile lighting up his eyes.

"Could you see me during my, punishment?" she asked quietly, and he sighed, the smile fading immediately. He moved to sit on the top step of his podium, and she followed him. Her skirt and cloak swirled out in a circle around her as she sat down, turning to face her grandfather who was staring out at the stars.

"Yes, I could. I am so sorry, Natasha. Everything that happened to you was my fault. Had I only gotten permission…" he trailed off, but Natasha shook her head.

"Then we would be in very different circumstances," she said, looking out at the stars. "You're talking about alternate realities, Heimdall. Loki told me about them two weeks ago, and I've been trying to see them. I've seen a few different ones, but I haven't been able to open a window long enough to see what was different in that reality. I could only see what was happening at that moment."

"I've heard of seers being able to enter alternate realities, but I've never met one who could. I never knew if your mother could or not, but I assumed she couldn't. Had she been able to, she likely would have hidden in one instead of running away," he said, smiling slightly at her. "You are every bit the woman she hoped you would be."

"Thank you," Natasha said softly, wrapping her arms around him. He smiled and hugged her back.

"Of course," he said, pulling away with a smile before he became deathly serious. "Now, you do realize what you've gotten yourself into should they decide Loki is unfit to rule, don't you? You would be in a situation where you are constantly violated and raped for a third time."

"If we're going to be technical, it would be the fourth time. I count my two weeks as Kitty as a time because had anything gone wrong, she's who I would be right now," Natasha said grimly. "But hey, the third time's the charm, right? I know what I got myself into. I've tried to see a future where Loki was a bad king, but I can't see anything. In every timeline I can find, he either doesn't rule or is a good king. And you said it yourself, he is a good king. He cares about the people and is trying his hardest to do a good job. There is nothing to worry about."

"That is true, I suppose. I'm just surprised you negotiated what you did. I would have expected you to leave for Midgard when you found out," Heimdall said. "Why'd you do it?"

"What kind of Queen would I become if I abandoned Asgard every time something scared me? What kind of agent would I be if I ran from every mission that had a risk? I care about Loki and I trust him, and I care about the people closest to me on Asgard, like you, Audun, Misty, Sif, and the Warriors Three. I can't turn my back on you all like that," she said, smirking at her grandfather. "Besides, it wasn't all of Asgard who wronged me, and I don't even truly blame the guards because they were just following Odin's orders. Arnljot took it too far, and I will always hate him, but the others…I've done horrible things at the order of someone else my whole life. It would be hypocritical of me to hate them for doing the same. And if Loki and I wronged all of Asgard, it is only appropriate that all of Asgard should have a say in our punishment."

"You truly are more than Asgard deserves, Natasha. I will never be able to forgive the guards for what they did to you, or Odin for ordering it. It's part of why I was so quick to agree to help Thor commit treason, and why I refuse to do anything more than glare at the guards. It's why I killed Arnljot when the elves attacked," Heimdall admitted, smiling almost sheepishly, but without regret. "I even considered killing Odin, but I could see how he had diminished after Frigga died and realized it wasn't worth it. I can't imagine how you can forgive them."

"I hate to say it, but if I were in their position, I probably would have done the same thing. They're loyal to their king and to Asgard, and they wanted to prove it. I was just a shiny new toy with some training who could help them show where their loyalties lied. It wasn't always loyalty, I know. I'm not blind. But that's what started it. I've done things just as horrible, or maybe worse, to do the same thing. I have lied and killed in the service of liars and killers, and I did it to show I was loyal to the person giving me my orders," she admitted with a grimace. "I'm not proud of what I've done, and I've tried for years to make amends and balance out my ledger. But that doesn't change the fact that I did it."

"I understand, but do you have any plans for when they say you and Loki are fit to rule? I can't imagine you would just rule the way Frigga and Odin did," he said, watching her carefully as she sighed.

"I do, actually. I'm not going to let my punishment be the norm in Asgard anymore. I know Loki will support that, and if what Audun said was true, no one should have to go through that again. The guards have destroyed girls who never deserved that kind of punishment. If someone is going to give themselves away like that, they should do so freely, but it should never be forced upon them," she said, playing with the hem of her cape. "I'm also going to personally oversee the training of the guards. I've seen how they fight, and they need a lot more training. Sif and I were able to defeat most of them with ease the day Asgard was invaded by the elves, and how can they defend Asgard when they haven't been trained? I want to have more women becoming guards and warriors, so maybe Sif can help with that. I want Asgard to be better. It's already strong; it's the defender of the Nine Realms. But that doesn't mean it's perfect, not by a long shot, and I want to help it get there. The people deserve better than they've had: the quiet threats that not everyone sees, but everyone understands, and they shouldn't live like that. No one should."

"Then the people are lucky you came, and you will make your parents proud," Heimdall said, taking her hand and squeezing it gently. She smiled and hugged him tightly.

"Thank you," she said gratefully, and Heimdall smiled before letting go.

"Of course. Now, you really need to get back to the palace and get some rest. You told Loki you wouldn't be gone long and you still need to get some sleep. I'll send you to Midgard when you're ready," her grandfather promised, and Natasha nodded. They quickly said their goodbyes before Audun escorted Natasha back to the palace.

When she got back to her shared room with Loki, she peeled off her dress and curled up into his side. He was in a deep sleep, but his arm still wrapped around her waist and pulled her even closer to him. She kissed his chest lightly and fell asleep.


Natasha woke up as the sun was barely beginning to peek over the horizon, but that was daylight enough for her. She was-once again-filled with energy, and she almost felt like a kid again. She smiled and climbed on top of Loki, kissing up his neck and along his jawline until he woke up. When she felt him smirk sleepily she kissed his lips, gradually deepening the kiss as he woke up more and more. Eventually his right hand was tangled in her hair and his left was holding her hip, pulling her as close as he could get her. When her energy finally bubbled to the surface, she laughed softly despite herself and Loki broke the kiss with a chuckle.

"You're in a good mood for someone who barely slept last night," he remarked, carding his fingers through her curls gently. She just smiled down at him, her green eyes filled with a sparkle he'd never seen before.

"It's Christmas, we're going to go visit my family, why wouldn't I be in a good mood? I haven't seen them in fifteen months, and you haven't seen them in even longer," she said, sitting up a little. Loki ran his hands over her ribcage, sighing when he still felt each bone. She was gaining weight again, finally, but after fourteen months of torture and near starvation, she needed a lot more than just a month to be back to how she was before she came to Asgard.

"Natasha, they won't want to see me," he started, but she just shook her head, making her curls-messy from having just woken up after sleeping with her hair down-bounce around her face.

"Thor will. It'll be hard for him, at first. He won't understand what happened, and he'll probably be stunned, but he'll want to see you, to see you happy," she said, cupping his cheek gently. "As for the others, you're probably right. They won't want to see you, but that doesn't change the fact that they are going to see you, and that they'll be happy to see you when they realize you're the only reason I'm able to visit them."

"I'm not the only reason," he argued. "Odin would have sent you back."

"No, Loki, he wouldn't. Had he not died, he would have sent me to a brothel and bound me to the building. He wouldn't have sent me to Midgard because I said having everyone help Jane and then trying to escape was my plan from the start. That I had seen what would happen months ago and had devised a plan for you and I to escape amid all of the commotion. That I had used my magic to give Thor the idea of freeing you to set everything in motion. That I had convinced everyone to go along with a plan to commit treason. That it was my plan, not Thor's," Natasha admitted. Loki's jaw dropped.

"And he believed that?" he asked incredulously. Natasha just laughed, an almost bitterly amused sound.

"Of course he didn't. If it was my plan and I had seen everything, there would have been a provision about your death in it. I would have escaped Asgard during all of the fighting and confusion as you, Jane, and Thor were leaving for the Dark World, instead of hiding in the palace with Sif, Fandral, and Volstagg," she said with a soft sigh. "However, it gave him an excuse to not punish the rest of you. If an evil sorceress hiding in the palace as a servant had coerced you all into committing treason and going after the Dark Elves, then you weren't truly to blame. You were being controlled, and your actions weren't your own. You were innocent, and I could be given all of the blame in the eyes of Asgard."

"Are you ever going to stop carrying the weight of the world and getting yourself into dangerous situations?" Loki asked her, concern and exhaustion seeping into his voice. She shook her head a little.

"Probably not. It's my job. Besides, you were dead, so it didn't really matter anymore," she said. Loki sighed and sat up, pulling her close to him.

"Well, I'm back and it's not your job anymore, so you can relax," he said, already forming a plan to help her if she couldn't relax on her own.

"Now, you have two options. You can start getting ready to go visit the other Avengers, or you can stay in bed with me until the sun is higher in the sky," he added suggestively, running his hands over her thighs. She just rolled her eyes and kissed him deeply.

"We have some time," she murmured, making him laugh. He was going to make sure she would remember this Christmas forever.


A few hours later, the two were walking down the Bifrost to the Observatory, laden with the gifts Natasha got for her friends. Loki insisted on carrying them piled high so he wouldn't be recognized immediately, and Natasha used her magic so he could still see in front of him. Heimdall was waiting patiently for them to arrive, ready to send them down to Midgard for the day. He greeted them and immediately moved to his platform, and the two moved to where the portal was open.

"Are you ready?" Loki asked her, his voice muffled slightly, and Natasha smiled as she smoothed the skirt of her gown.

She was wearing a floor-length, gold gown with silvery runes stitched throughout the silk, a scooping neckline, and long sleeves. It was skin-tight and flared out just above her knees to float around her feet, giving the illusion that she was flying, and the only jewelry she wore was the silver arrow necklace Clint gave her. Loki was wearing a black suit, similar to the one he wore in Germany but more regal, with a green tie that had gold runes subtly stitched into it. His still-long black hair was brushed back, and Natasha had braided part of it in a traditional Asgardian style for kings that Misty had taught her. Natasha's own red curls were left down, with only a few of her gold and emerald pins tucked in to hold them off her face.

"I am if you are," she answered, touching his hand gently. "Heimdall, open the Bifrost."

Her grandfather smiled at her and pushed his sword into the pedestal, opening the rainbow bridge that would bring her and Loki to Stark Tower. In a dizzying flash of color, they felt themselves be transported across the realms to her family on earth.


"No, Tony. We're not going caroling," Steve said, mild annoyance slipping into his voice.

"But why?" the billionaire whined, pouting. Clint just laughed at his boyfriend's kicked puppy expression.

"Because you've already had a drink, and we all know you're going to pick up speed by the time it gets late enough to really go caroling. Besides, remember what happened last year?" Bruce asked, rolling his eyes.

"That was one time!" Tony indignantly replied.

"And knowing you, it won't be the last," Pepper said knowingly. The guys all started laughing then, but were cut off by a blinding flash of rainbow light coming from the balcony outside the common area.

"Thor, are you expecting someone…?" Steve asked slowly, reaching for his shield as he stood up. Thor shook his head.

"No," he said as the light faded and his jaw dropped. "Impossible…"

Clint turned around to see what his teammate was looking at, and his heart stopped for a moment. In seconds, he was outside and running towards the figure. The sunlight reflected off of her ruby red curls, setting them on fire, and he barely heard her familiar voice call his name as he pulled her in for a hug.

"Natasha? How? Why now? What happened? Thor said he didn't know where you were and we were starting to think you'd never come home. Is it really you?" Clint asked, stepping back to look at her. "You've lost so much weight…"

"It's really me, Clint. I had to come home for Christmas," she said, tears pricking her emerald eyes. Before she could say anything else, the rest of the team were pulling her in for bone-crushing hugs. Only Thor stood off to the side, watching her with wide, almost disbelieving eyes.

"Lady Natasha, how are you here?" Thor asked, and the redhead sighed while her family held their breath.

"I'll explain inside. Come on," she said, leading the way in. Clint followed with his hand on the small of her back, afraid to move too far in case she vanished again. Tony came next, giving the two assassins some space. Steve, Pepper, and Bruce followed suit, knowing they would all have time to catch up with their friend. Thor was the last to go, staring at the faceless stranger holding a pile of presents. Natasha stopped just inside, indicating for everyone else to fill in the room in front of her. The stranger holding the presents stopped and stood right behind her.

"It's a long story, so you may want to get comfortable," Natasha said, motioning toward the couches. All but Thor sat down.

"Lady Natasha, who have you brought with you?" he asked. Natasha nodded slightly and turned to face the mountain of gifts.

"It's okay. Put them down," she said soothingly. The stranger moved slowly to the table next to the elaborately decorated Christmas tree (Tony always did like to go all-out on holidays) and set down the pile of gifts as carefully as he could before turning around.

"Loki?!" Tony exclaimed, and all of the Avengers jumped out of their seats.

Bruce pulled Pepper behind him quickly but gently as his eyes began to glow green. Clint pulled his bow out from behind the couch and Tony grabbed one of Clint's guns while Steve grabbed his shield. Thor, however, looked as though he'd seen a ghost. They were about to attack when Natasha jumped in front of them.

"STOP!" she yelled, and suddenly a ring of green and gold fire sprung up around her and Loki, separating them from the others. The fire was real and burning hot, but the edges were an illusion so that nothing would start burning unless it passed through the flames. The tension in the air was felt all around, and the only sound was the crackling of the magic fire.


So? What did everyone think?

The next chapter will be posted right after this one, so you don't have to wait for the third "Yes" this time. That said, reviews are still welcome! Even if they're just angry rants over how late I am...

Snowflakes of love and fun to you all! ~Des