A/N: Hello all you wonderful people! I have decided that I will probably post every Sunday until I finish school. It seems to be the only day that I can really focus on writing. So, here's the next chapter!
Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot.
Chapter 12
BPOV
Why the hell am I crying?
Fuck it...I know why I'm crying.
It isn't enough that I got myself into this shit in the first place, but knowing that I have single handedly fucked this kid up is...overwhelming. See, this is exactly why I didn't want to go to the doctor. I knew that nothing good would come out of it, but noooooo, Fuckward insisted and now look at me, I'm a fucking mess.
There are too many emotions coursing through me at the moment and I can't handle all of them at once. I feel terrible for what I've done to my- I mean this baby, and the emotions that come with it are tearing me down. I'm stuck in my head again. I can hear Renee's voice loud and clear, telling me how worthless and disgusting I am. You know what, she's absolutely right.
I'm a fuck up.
I've always been a fuck up.
Now I have to live with fucking up my...My baby.
I told myself the minute I found out I was pregnant that there was no way in hell I could consider being responsible for another life. I still feel that way now even after knowing what I've done, how I've messed up the baby's life before it could even take its first breath. I'm no better than Renee…And that's why I can't be a mother.
Sleep doesn't come easy. Even if I were to slip into unconsciousness I'm sure I would have unsettling dreams about today, so lying in bed and staring out of the window will have to do. Edward brought me some lunch a few hours later; a turkey sandwich and salad with a tall glass of lemonade. He sat with me for a while but didn't speak much. We were as silent as usual.
He opened the window at my request which allowed a nice breeze to filter into the stuffy room. Pretty soon fall will be here so I must enjoy all this fresh summer air while it's still here. Just thinking about the cold makes me cringe. I never look forward to the winter months being out on the street. Hey, prostitutes don't have the luxury of calling off work because it's too cold. You have to sacrifice yourself in order to get what you need. The unfortunate thing is that not too many men are looking for pussy in below zero weather; unless it's a crack head wanting to get his rocks off and in that case I try not to fuck with those bastards unless I'm desperate. A few bad experiences with assholes wanting to pay me in change, and even stealing my money as I'm going down on them finally made me realize that they can't be trusted.
That's why I collect money first, suck and fuck later.
Guess I won't have to worry about freezing my ass of this year, huh? Between Hoverward and the puss gut of doom, I won't be doing much of anything for a while.
Edward left me alone as soon as I finished my food and I tried to relax as much as possible without thinking too much. I sing the happy songs Gran taught me as a little girl that are supposed to keep the bad dreams away. It only works for a little while and soon the dark images start to squeeze into my thoughts. I try so hard to keep them away.
I'm out maybe ten minutes before the familiar pitter-patter of heels coming up the stairs woke me indefinitely. Fuck these wooden floors and those fucking wooden steps because you can hear every creek, crack, and clatter when someone is walking, or running in this case. The door swings open and in walks the annoying little possum.
"Hey Rolley-Polley. How's my little mommy doing today?"
Ugh! Can she be any more chipper? It's sickening.
"What the fuck do you want twinkle toes?" Graceful in her moves, Alice removes her purse from her shoulder and her stilettos from her feet, dropping them all to the ground and hopping right into bed beside me, buzzing with excitement.
"Do I have to have a reason to come see my favorite mommy-to-be?" She smiles, batting her eyelashes. She knows these names of hers get under my skin.
Fuck her for being so bubbly about it.
"The door is closed for a fucking reason. It means leave me the hell alone or I get to beat your ass for trespassing."
Completely ignoring me Alice pointed toward the door as another set of heels could be heard climbing the steps. "I brought someone to meet you. This is Rosalie, well Rose."
Just then, a tall glamazon of a woman sashayed into the room. I'm momentarily stunned by how beautiful, no gorgeous she is. That's the only way I can describe the woman standing at the foot of the bed, looking me over like a fucking shoe display at Macy's. I feel like a perv for checking her out, only a little bit.
Long blonde hair, sun kissed skin, great set of tits, curves I would kill for, and a mug you can't help but envy.
Alice giggled as me and the bombshell sized each other up.
"Hmmm, it's nice to meet you Bella. Alice has told me a lot about you." Blondie raised an eyebrow at me, her voice monotone and a bored expression on her face.
Oh, I know a bitch when I see one. She better watch herself because I would hate to have to give her a piece of my mind and I just met her.
"Uh...Yeah ok Rosie. Alice has told me absolutely nothing about you." I sigh, rolling my eyes.
Now I'm getting bored.
"My name is Rosalie. Maybe, if I decide to like you, I'll let you call me Rose."
Oh really? Well Bitch, today is your lucky day. I'm already in a bad mood so if she wants to take it there, we can go there.
"Didn't I tell you she was a cutie pie." Alice grabbed my cheek between her thumb and index finger. I grab her wrist and bend it back until she yells uncle.
"Wow, you two are super annoying." Rosalie plopped herself down in Edward's chair.
"Why did you bring her? Couldn't handle me on your own?" I glance at Alice to see her grinning but return my eyes to the bitchy stranger. With her legs crossed she continued to inspect me.
"Oh, I can handle you just fine. I wanted to bring Rose by to meet my favorite incubator."
"Yeah, she hasn't stopped talking about you since she told me about how Edward had you stashed in his guestroom tied to the bed with his naughty rope." The bitch picked at her nails.
I drew in a long breath and let it hiss out slowly…I really just want to be alone right now but by the looks of how comfortable the miniature poodle and her bitchy sidekick are, this is going to be a long evening.
"Edward says you went to the doctor today." Alice began twirling my hair through her fingers. That damn girl can't sit still for five seconds.
"Your brother needs to learn to keep his fucking mouth shut." I slump back against the pillows.
Here we go.
Can't I go one day without the subject of anything that has to do with my situation or my job coming up? Maybe I should wear a sign that says "I don't want to talk about anything so don't bring it up!"
"So, what happened? Did you get an ultrasound? Did you find out if it's a boy or a girl?" The words rushed out of Alice in one breath.
"Nothing you need to worry about."
"You're such a Debby Downer!" She pouted.
"Well you're a nosey Bitch!" I mock her whiney voice.
"I can't help that I want to know more about you and the baby. Every time I ask a question you always have something smart to say. You shouldn't curse so much."
"Who are you, the cussing police? I'll do whatever the fuck I want."
"Well, I can see that." She rolled her eyes.
"What is that supposed to mean?"
"It means that your situation displays your obvious lack of home-training, amongst other things." Rosalie put in her two cents from where she was sitting. I had almost forgotten she was here.
And what the fuck is she talking about lack of home-training?
"I think what Rose is trying to say is that you are a little rough around the edges, but that's okay. You're still young and you have plenty of time to learn." Alice tries to smooth it over, but I know that she-devil tried to insult me on purpose.
"Learn what? How to insult people with fancy words?"
"Well, yes but that's not all you could learn. That's why you have me, and Edward, and Rose if you ever get on her good side."
I look at the wicked witch and she's giving me a tolerant smile. "How old are you Bella?" She asks.
"Why the fuck do you need to know?"
"Please tell us." Alice is bouncing again. How does her husband put up with this shit on a daily basis?
"How old do I look?"
Rosalie sat forward in her seat and the skin around her eyes drew tight. "Well...You look young but not teenager young; maybe early twenties."
...She's good.
I never tell anyone my real age. On the street as long as you look like you're about eighteen people don't ask questions. My age is my best kept secret. I was eighteen for five years, and I've been twenty-one for the past year and a half.
"And why should I tell either of you something like that?" I frown at both of them.
"Oh, Belly! You can tell us. We promise we won't tell anyone."
"I'm not saying I'm embarrassed by my age, I'm just asking why is it important?"
"It's not really important. I just want to know." Rosalie sighed.
There's definitely something about her...I don't know if I should like her or have dirty thoughts.
"I'm twenty." I admit.
Yes, I repeat, I am twenty fucking years old.
"I knew it. When is your birthday?" Alice is in full hype mode.
"It was the thirteenth."
"Of September?"
"Duh."
"That was like, two weeks ago and you didn't tell us!" She shrieked.
"No. I don't celebrate my birthday." It's just another day. There's no need to remember something like the day I was born since I haven't celebrated it in about eleven years.
"Well that's just stupid. We have to have a party. I've been trying to get it out of you since you've been here. Now that I know you're of legal age I don't feel so bad." She plopped back on the bed, having way too much fun with herself. What kind of shit has she been smoking...I want some.
"We are not having a party so calm the fuck down before I throw you off of this bed."
"We are so having a party. I have it all planned out in my head now."
Somebody please stop her.
"Since we're revealing ages, how old are you pixie?" I ask.
"Twenty-six." She says proudly.
"Wow, I would have sworn you were at least forty-six."
Ha bitch!
"In your dreams fatty."
"I take offense to that." I scoff pushing her tiny frame as hard as I could. She fell backwards giggling but sat up quickly to compose herself. Alice is weird in that she acts like a child ninety percent of the time, so I toss her around like one solely for my enjoyment.
"Do you even know who the father of your child is?" A suspicious little half-smile curved Bitchella's lips.
"I don't see how that is your business Blondie."
"So you're admitting that you don't know?" She continued.
"I didn't say that...I mean, I kind of have an idea, but I'm not telling you."
"Please Bella. I really want to know." Alice pouted some more in her whiney, baby voice.
These bitches won't give up will they? I can go on, telling them to fuck off and leave me alone, or I can tell them and get it over with. Either way I know they won't leave me alone until I tell them something.
"Alright. I crashed this college party one night looking for a good time because I was fucking bored. I got wasted...I don't think I've ever been that drunk in my life. Fucking college kids know how to throw a party. Anyway, this really cute guy walked up to me and asked if I wanted to dance. To make a short story even shorter, he wanted to fuck me so that's what we did. I woke up naked in some motel room and the asshole was gone."
"Did he at least tell you his name before you guys fucked?" Alice asks.
"Maybe. It's all kind of fuzzy but the only thing I can remember is that he was really tall. His hair was long and he was pretty muscular." Yeah, I remember grabbing the muscles of his back and screaming for him to fuck me harder. After that everything is pretty much a blur.
"Have you ever tried to find him?"
"Fuck no. How would it look me tracking down some guy that I barely remember and saying Hey, didn't we fuck each other? Well sorry to burst your bubble but I'm knocked up. I hope we can get to know each other...Fuck don't be stupid."
I don't think he even left me a tip.
Alice wraps her scrawny arms around me in a tight embrace. "I'm sorry this is happening to you...That's another reason why I brought Rose. We want to help you."
"Help me with what?"
"Whatever you need. Edward can only do so much. I figured you needed girlfriends to talk to, go shopping with, do girly things with, whatever it is we're here for you."
"What makes you think I want to hang out with you and Barbie over here," looking at Rosalie, "no offense."
"None taken." She smirked.
"Bella why do you think I put up with your cranky, hormonal, ill-mannered ass?"
"Because you're a glutten for punishment?"
"No...Because I care about you deeply. I may have judged you in the beginning because well fuck, I walked into my brother's house and found a pregnant chick strapped to the bed. Then I found out you were a prostitute and I was ready to throw you back out on the street; but I've gotten to know you and I realize you need me just as much as you need Edward."
Pump the mother fucking breaks!
"Stop right there! I don't get where you and your dim witted brother think I need you. Okay, so I'm fucking pregnant and I sell my body; I was going to stop eventually when I got too fucking big. I'm just trying to get enough money so I can get my own place." How many times do I have to explain it to these people?
"And then what? What about the baby?" Alice continued.
"I don't want it."
"So, you give the baby away and then what? Go back to fucking for money?"
How dare she?
I can feel myself ready to explode.
"I don't fucking know! How about this shorty, I don't give a fuck what you or anyone else thinks. It's my life; I've been living it this long and I can do whatever the fuck I want with it! Tell your brother that too since I'm sure you'll run back and open your mouth."
Alice looked at Rose who looked a little shocked by my outburst. Out of the corner of my eye I see a figure standing in the doorway...Oh great, speak of the devil and he shall appear.
A/N: Bella, Bella, Bella. What are we going to do with you? I know this is kind of short. I've been really trying hard to make the chapters longer but it kind of throws off the direction I have in my mind if I do that. I hope you ladies leave me some reviews because they make me feel all warm inside. I cherish each and every one of them. Until next time…
