Beulah's Twilight | 18

A Very Important Date

In the school auditorium, all the seniors were wearing gaudy yellow togas and caps for graduation. Each of our parents and loved ones looked on in joy as we took our seats. My friend Jessica Stanley had been appointed the valedictorian. At the stage, she made a heartfelt speech:

"When we were five, they asked us what we wanted to be when we grow up. Our answers were things like astronaut, president, or in my case, a princess. When we were ten, they asked again. We answered rock star, cowboy, or in my case, a gold medalist. But now that we've grown up, they want a serious answer. Well, how about this: 'Who the hell knows?'

"This isn't the time to make hard, fast decisions; this is the time to make mistakes. Take the wrong training; get stuck somewhere. Fall in love—a lot. Major in Philosophy because there's no way to make a career out of that. Change your mind, and change it again, because nothing's permanent.

"So make as many mistakes as you can. That way, when we ask what we want to be, we won't have to guess. We'll know."

Receiving my high school diploma brought about the most exhilarating feeling. As I held the roll of thick paper in my hand, I immediately imagined myself in college, meeting new people again.

Beaming, I focused my vision on my family, immediately detectable by their black hair and olive skin. Mama was blinking back tears. Papa was pumping his fist in the air in between clapping his hands above his head.

Immediately after the ceremony, friends exchanged goodbyes and promises of staying in touch. I gave each of mine a hug. Only Bella, who was getting hugs from them, too, didn't get one from me.

"It's so amazing. I mean, it seems like we just met, and now we're graduating together," Jessica gushed at Bella, while I was cheering with Eric. "Can you believe it's over? I feel like screaming!"

"So do I," muttered Bella, looking not at all interested in what Jessica had to say.

"This is all just so incredible. Do you remember your first day here? We were friends, like, right away. From the first time we saw each other. Amazing! And now I'm off to California and you'll be in Alaska and I'm going to miss you so much! You have to promise that we'll get together sometimes! I'm so glad you're having a party. That's perfect. Because we really haven't spent much time together in a while and now we're all leaving. … I can't believe we're done."

"I can't believe it's all over," mumbled Bella, failing to make a good attempt to sound like she cared. She only managed a forced wide smile.

Poor Jessica was too happy to notice. She threw her arms around Bella's neck. "You have to promise we won't lose touch."

Awkwardly, Bella hugged her back. "I'm so glad I know you, Jessica. It was a good two years."

"It was," sighed Jessica, sniffling.

Once Bella moved away, I embraced Jessica as tightly as I could. "I'll miss you, Jessica. I hope you enjoy California."

"Where will you go?"

"I'm going to college in Seattle."

"Is there any way we'll see each other again?" asked Jessica sadly.

"Of course, we'll see each other again," I said, beaming. "Someday, we'll think of a way."

"Hey, it's too early for goodbyes," said Lauren. "We're still going to the Cullen House grad party tonight."

Later that night, once I'd eased my vehicle in the cramped puzzle of other cars in front of the Cullen House, I gawked at the magnificent vampire abode. The windows were aglow with colored lanterns and fairy lights inside. A few of the jocks saw me and assisted me up the entrance steps. I thanked them and met with Jessica and Lauren upstairs. We ate and drank and danced while our hosts checked up on us, once in a while, offering hors d'oeuvres and cocktail shots.

As usual, Bella stayed close to Edward, who didn't seem any keener than ever to let his precious one even meet eyes with one of her own friends, like Mike or Tyler.

Alice was quick to strike up a chat with me. "I never got to compliment your cute little Jimny," she said. "It looks really comfortable."

"It's not as fast or flashy as your fancy Porsche, but it gets me to school every day," I said. "My dog loves riding it on the way to the beach, too."

Suddenly, Alice stiffened. She hissed, and her head turned like a cat's. At the top of the staircase, Jacob Black, Embry Call, and Quill Ateara arrived, searching the crowd. Bella approached them. "What are you doing here?" she asked Jacob.

"You invited me, remember?" he asked.

"Was my right hook too subtle for you?" snapped Bella. "That was me uninviting you."

Alice and I exchanged glances. Neither of us could really blame Bella for feeling this way. Jacob promptly gave a real, heartfelt apology. "I'd blame the whole inner animal thing, but it's really just me being a total ass," he told her. "I'm really sorry." I smiled with Bella. I knew Jacob could be the bigger man—which was more than I can say for Edward or his family who claimed superiority over mortals all the time.

Then, Jacob gave Bella a handmade bracelet charm shaped like a wolf. At that moment, Alice stiffened again. Bella saw it, too. "Alice, what did you see?" she asked. The worry etched in Alice's face told Bella everything. "You're not going to Seattle?" asked Bella.

"No," said Alice. "They're coming here."

After the party, the Cullen family held a meeting with Jacob, his two friends, and me. With just a bit of difficulty, the two parties agreed to align with one another against a common enemy. The Cullen family wanted to protect Bella from Victoria, and the Wolf People wanted to protect everyone else from Victoria's army. "We're in," said Jacob.

Bella briefly protested, pretending to be worried about the younger members of the Quileute Wolf Pack. But as I observed her, I knew that she knew Edward was willing to align with their sworn enemies if that was what it took to effectively protect his heart. "I like this plan," I said. "There's just one thing: Jacob, shouldn't this be Sam's decision to make?"

"He's in on the loop," said Embry.

"Sam is pragmatic," said Quil. "He'll like this plan."

This was all Bella's fault. If she had listened to me and never went out with Edward in the first place, she wouldn't have been there playing basketball when Victoria, her mate James, and their friend Laurent passed by. James would never have gone after Bella; Edward wouldn't have killed him; Victoria wouldn't be doing all this right now, risking my life, my family's, and my best friends'.

When we were about to go home, I held Jacob's hand on the way hour. "Listen, I trust that you can pull this off 'coz I know that's your job as guardians of the tribe or something. But please, come back alive—in one piece."

"Oh, don't get melodramatic on me, Beulah," said Jacob cheerfully. "There are eight of us, and seven vampires. We all have super strength and such. What could possibly go wrong?"

Confident that Jacob and his pack were keeping the vampires at bay, I felt it safe to venture into the streets of Forks by myself. I should have learned from the last time I'd done it that it was not safe at all, even with up to eight wolf people guarding the place from vampires.

I was too deeply submerged in my own contemplation to consider the risks of going out of the house alone. I was passing by a little store, looking at my own faint reflection in the window as I wondered what it would be like to be fighting alongside Jacob and Bella against Victoria. But I was still a puny human with a missing leg. I didn't like being helpless. I wasn't about to sacrifice my humanity but I couldn't be at ease, knowing that there was nothing I could do to at least be of assistance to my friends.

"Hello," said a voice that made my heart sink despite its soft and gentle tone. Victoria was right behind me, smiling, eager to have a taste of my blood. "Are you offering your alliance or your life?"

I couldn't answer at once. I was taking a walk, that's all.

"Oh, why are you so scared, darling? I'm here to spare you from human suffering once and for all," she crooned, taking my hand in hers. My fingers were almost as cold as hers.

"P-please … j-just … I w-wasn't …" I begged, in a choked voice.

"Don't be afraid. This is just between you and me. I haven't even told my babies about you," she told me. "Besides, I've sent them to a different mission; you're a special cause of mine."

I watched her ruby-red eyes darting to different directions, before her arms wrapped around me. I felt wind rushing through my hair, against my skin as she carried me away from the town, as fast as her legs could go. She didn't give me a chance to resist; we both knew that any effort was futile.

When the wind stopped and my vision came into focus again, we were in the forest. Beams of sunlight shone between tall trunks and lean branches. The striking red of Victoria's hair against the soothing green environment prompted me to turn my attention back to the situation at hand.

"Now," said Victoria, her hand curling against my neck. She was being so careful not to hurt me that the only thing I could feel was her cold palm against my skin. "Your alliance or your life?"

"Fuck you," I said, and I swung my crutches against her head.

Victoria screamed, not in pain but in anger. She grabbed my crutches and snapped them with her bare hands. She might as well have torn off my remaining leg.

She swept me again into her arms and carried me to a barn. There were half a dozen other vampires, and Victoria tossed me at them. Two pairs of hands held each of my limbs like plies. Some of them were mildly amused to find that I had only one leg. I twisted about, shouting, "Let go! Let me go!" The vampires holding my leg, both female, tugged it straight. "Shut up!" said one freckled blonde. She and the others held me down to a chair.

While tying my waist to the backrest and my wrists to the armrests, the vampires held down the stump of my left leg while keeping my remaining leg still. My remaining leg was fastened to the chair's leg. "Let me go!" I screamed.

Then, Victoria kneeled in front of me. She touched the stump of my amputated leg. "Did you know there are major blood vessels right here? Just one puncture and I can suck you dry within minutes," she said.

I shivered. "No!" I wanted to kick her with my remaining leg. But I couldn't. "Don't! Please!" I shrieked, when Victoria was about to bite my thigh.

Her teeth were only a couple of inches from my skin when an enormous grey wolf burst through the door. Frightened, the vampires fled on impulse. But another vampire, a male one, grabbed the wolf's jaws and held it shut. Four of the vampires held its legs apart to hold it down. The remaining two vampires helped each other hold the snout shut.

The creature's presence captured Victoria's attention as well as mine. "Why, it's been so long since I've last seen a werewolf!" she said. Victoria slowly approached the wolf. "Flip it over."

I wanted to protest, but I feared Victoria would harm the wolf or me further if I spoke. My palm grazed the head of a nail poking out of the armrest. With one hand, I tried to pull it out. My heart pounded painfully as I watched the vampires lift the gigantic wolf with surprising ease; the wolf gave a helpless wail as the two vampires holding its left-side limbs leapt over to roll it over. It growled and twisted about. But the vampires held fast and pinned it to the floor.

"Strange—the full moon was last week, and it's daytime!" she said, stroking the wolf's thigh; she was seducing the human that still lived within. "You're different—ah, you'd make a good pet. You can kill the vampire lover for me." The wolf squirmed and yowled at Victoria's icy touch. Both Victoria and I could see between the wolf's legs. "Why, it's a girl wolf!" she chirped, playing with the beast's bushy tail, tugging it gently and then stroking it to smooth the fur.

My heart sank—Leah! Leah whimpered and struggled. Giving as much strength as she could muster, she shook her head from the vampires' grip and snapped at the pair that had held her snout. The other four who held her legs down unhanded her to save themselves from her teeth. Leah flipped over, got on her four paws and lunged toward Victoria, who smugly dodged her. I bit my lip, as the nail I tried to pull out was halfway free; I hoped Leah would win and get us both out of here.

In an effort to get a hold of her again, a male Hispanic-looking one with huge eyes and curly hair tried to wrap his arms on Leah's waist. Another, a creepy, thin black-haired guy, pulled her tail. Leah twisted about, kicking off the other three. The one with his arms around Leah's waist scratched Leah's side with his nails. Enraged, Leah grabbed his head with her jaws and tossed him across the room. For a moment, I thought she would escape for sure, but the remaining five charged and grabbed her limbs and her tail. When Leah tried to leap from them, the vampires forced her down on her back.

Giggling, Victoria stroked Leah's thighs again. Her fingers accidentally touched her crotch. Leah thrashed so violently that the vampires holding her down lost grip. Leah leapt toward me. One of the vampires, a bearded, dark-haired one with a red hoodie grabbed her tail mid-air. With a whimper and a violent shiver, the wolf became a naked woman. The other vampires quickly grabbed her limbs and pinned her to the floor. The male vampires ogled at her bare breasts while the female ones giggled. Humiliated and on the verge of tears, Leah found she could not phase. "Fucking bloodsuckers—I'll kill you for this!" she swore. But even with her superhuman strength, she could not even bend her limbs.

"See, Beulah?" said Victoria. "You had one rescuer and she can't help you!"

Just then, I managed to pull out the nail. Victoria must have heard the piece of metal scraping against wood. She turned to me, and I flicked the little thing in her eye. Her temper flared once again and she sent the chair flying against the wall, with me still in it. The seat crashed into pieces, setting me free. Thinking I was knocked out, Victoria turned her attention to Leah again.

I looked around me, as quietly as I could to not attract the attention of the other vampires.

"Did you hear what I said, just before?" I heard Victoria ask Leah while stroking her left inner thigh. The touch made Leah twitch and shudder with disgust. I gagged at the sight of it.

"Do I look like a dog to you?" snapped Leah. "I will not kill Bella, and not for you!"

"Are you sure you won't consider?" asked Victoria, leaning closer. Victoria's hand slid onto Leah's smooth belly. "I have been lingering in town. I have seen you complain about the human."

"Didn't you hear me? I'm not doing it for you!" shouted Leah.

Victoria angrily tugged Leah's right leg, coaxing a whimper from Leah. That made me panic and look harder. From a short distance, I saw a big, heavy hook attached to a rope. As quietly as I could, I dragged myself toward it. I urged myself to go faster when Victoria kept on seducing Leah. Poor Leah could only squirm at the vampire's touch. The way Leah moved was made obvious by the contrast of her copper brown skin against Victoria's marble-white one. "No!" cried Leah. I glanced back. "Are you sure?" crooned Victoria. To my disgust, Victoria's hand went between Leah's legs. A great shiver went right through her body.

At last, my fingers grasped the hook.

"Victoria!" I called.

The red-haired vampire turned to me as I tossed the hook and sent it swinging right against her face. Startled and put off-balance, Victoria stumbled into a lantern that burst and set a stack of hay aflame. The newborn vampires were startled and let go of Leah at once. They fled along with their leader without a second glance at Leah or me. I grabbed a piece of wood and helped myself up. Leah's limbs were badly bruised. Getting up was a bit difficult for her.

Despite the injury, Leah smiled at me. "Are you alright?" she asked me, brushing her dark hair off her face.

"Will you be?" I asked.

"You already know the answer, don't you?" she asked. "I'm getting you out of here." She sat up.

"What about the others?" I asked as we left the barn together.

"Bella's friends are supposedly on our side; if Sam and Jake trust them, I have no choice but to follow suit," said Leah bitterly. "We're too far from your place. There might be other bloodsuckers surrounding us. I'll take you somewhere safe."

I held my tongue, saving the questions for later. I backed away while Leah let out a growl of pain as she transformed back into a wolf. Leah crouched low enough for me to climb onto her back. I wrapped my arms around her strong shoulders. Once satisfied with my firm grip, she dashed through the woods, away from the battlefield.

Leah brought me up in the mountains, where there is a small patch of clear land with a tent. To my surprise, Edward and Bella and another grey wolf slightly bigger than Leah was there.

"What's she doing here? Why did you take her here, Leah?" demanded Edward.

"Victoria picked me up. Leah rescued me from her and brought me here. She said it's safe," I explained, raising my voice.

Edward's face maintained a very ugly look as he glared at me.

"I'm not making trouble, okay?" I said, sitting on a boulder near Seth.

But trouble came with me. Edward's expression changed from that of contempt to alarm.

"Someone's hurt?" asked Bella.

"If you care so much, you would give yourself to the vampires so nobody has to risk dying!" I said, thinking about the wolves and the Cullens fighting the vampires Jake had told me about.

"SHUT UP! She's close! I can hear her thoughts!" said Edward. "Seth, go."

Seth did as he said.

Bella became afraid and clung to Edward like the pathetic damsel in distress that she was.

"She knew we weren't there but she caught my scent," said Edward. "She knew you'd be with me."

"Has she found us?" asked Bella.

"She's not alone."

"Who are we talking about?" I asked irritably.

A young man's voice said, "Who else?" Victoria's handsome companion came into view. "Your werewolf friend was stupid enough to bring you here with them."

I was stung when he called Leah stupid, but I was too scared to speak.

He ignored me and edged forward, his eyes focused furiously on Edward.

"Riley, listen to me," said Edward. "Victoria's just using you to distract me. She knows I'll kill you. In fact, she'd be glad she doesn't have to deal with you anymore."

Riley kept going forward, heedless of Edward's words, I moved as far away from him as possible. I leaned against a large boulder near the tent. A loud bumping sound startled me. Victoria had landed onto a crouch on top of the boulder above me. "Don't listen, Riley," she crooned. "I told you about their mind tricks."

"I can read her mind, so I know what she thinks of you," boasted Edward.

"He's lying," said Victoria.

"She only created you and this army to avenge her true mate, James," continued Edward. "It's the only thing she cares about."

Riley grew apprehensive. Victoria had probably warned him about Edward's telepathic ability. Riley looked at Victoria, as if looking for proof whether Edward was lying or she was. Victoria looked nervous, but she insisted, "There's only you." But she didn't sound as convincing as before. "You know that," she added.

"Think about it: You're from Forks," said Edward. "You know the area. That's the only reason she chose you. She doesn't love you."

Now, Riley looked hurt. Still, I found it hard to believe that Riley would be so easily moved by the things Edward said about Victoria; I don't think Riley had ever met Edward, who probably only knew his name by reading his thoughts.

"Don't let him do this to us," said Victoria weakly. "You know I love you."

Turning away, Riley looked like he was about to cry. But he soon composed himself and resumed glaring at Edward. Why couldn't he just dive forward, kill Bella and go?

Maybe he was thinking what I was thinking. Smiling, he said, "You're dead." But at the moment he dove toward them, Seth's massive wolf form snatched him and threw him around, eventually breaking off his hand.

Proving that she had no feelings for the poor blond man, Victoria ran away. But before she got far, Edward called after her: "You won't get another chance like this again!"

Victoria stopped and looked back.

"You want her," said Edward. "You want me to feel the pain you felt when I killed James—when I tore him to pieces—when I turned him into ash—when I turned him into nothing."

Edward must feel very confident about himself. I was bewildered that he would go so far as to challenge Victoria to come and get Bella.

Although admittedly frightening to me, the fight turned out to be rather predictable. Victoria dove toward Edward and brought him to the ground. Then, she reached for Bella but Edward grabbed her coat in time and hurled her away. Victoria grabbed onto the branches of a nearby pine tree. Edward led Bella to a safer place; then, he pushed the tree down with Victoria. (Poor tree!) While they wrestled, Riley kicked Seth and knocked him unconscious. I ran toward Seth and tried to comfort him while Riley helped Victoria.

Edward grabbed Riley's head and repeatedly slammed it against a rock. Victoria jumped behind Edward and put him in a headlock. As I soothed Seth's injured side, Bella cut her arm with a sharp stone. "What the hell are you doing?" I shrieked.

Bella looked smug. Then, I realized, she intended to do what Taha Aki's third wife did. It worked, but I couldn't help but be disgusted with Bella's pride.

Edward head-butted Riley and then pushed Victoria aside. Edward tossed Riley toward Seth and me. Seth immediately got on his feet, bit Riley in the shoulder and dragged him away from me, even as Riley screamed, "Victoria! Victoria!"

Edward and Victoria fought again, until Edward got Victoria into a headlock, twisted her neck and bit it until her head was completely severed from her body. Now I knew why Victoria wanted me to help her. Edward was far too strong for her.

"You knew about this?" Edward asked me, his voice shaking.

"She gave me an offer I had to refuse," I said, glancing at Bella, imagining what it would be like had I done what Victoria had asked me. "You should be thankful I'm not as bloodthirsty as you!"

The bloodlust cheek stung him and earned me a backhanded slap and a bloody bruise over my cheekbone. I was so stunned that I didn't cry at once. But the slap satisfied Edward; he thought of me no more and went toward Bella, tearing a strip from her shirt instead of his own to bind Bella's wound. That was strange; I thought Bella's blood was fatally alluring to him but now it bothered him no more.

Seth returned and gave a soft warning bark.

"What's wrong?" Bella asked Edward.

"Alice needs us to go, now," said Edward. He turned on a lighter and tossed it at Victoria's body instantly setting it entirely on fire. I guessed vampire venom, as Bella had called it, was flammable like alcohol. Then, he and Bella left without me.

Moments later, when Seth nudged me affectionately on the side of my head, the tears came out. Seth whimpered with empathy and pulled me up gently. He lowered himself down like Leah did earlier. Hiccoughing and sniffling, I climbed onto his back, and he brought me down the mountain. Later, we passed by a clearing where the rest of the Cullens were. Some of the wolves were there.

When I climbed off Seth, a vampire—a stranger—came into view and Leah attacked him. "Leah, don't!" shouted Edward. Seth barked once and ran toward his sister when the vampire got her into a headlock. Jacob leapt at the vampire and dragged him away from Leah, but the vampire got his arms around Jacob's torso and cracked several ribs. "JAKE!" I screamed.

Sam, Paul and a few others I did not recognize came to his rescue and tore the vampire apart. When Jacob fell to the ground, he reverted back to his bare, fragile human form, twisting in agony. I ran toward him. Bella, Edward and Dr. Cullen came to Jacob's side too. "The bones on the right half of his body are shattered," said Dr. Cullen after a quick look.

"Jake, I'm right here," said Bella.

Later, the other members of the wolf pack returned wearing only jean shorts except Leah, who wore a ruddy yellow shirt. "Jacob, you idiot, I had it!" shouted Leah.

"Can't you see he's hurt?" I shouted back.

Dr. Cullen made a useless comment about Jacob's injury already healing, and Edward simply said that Jacob and his brothers and "sister" had to go away.

"You, too, Beulah," said Edward, as Sam, Paul, Quil and Embry carried Jacob away.

"The Volturi wouldn't like to see another human involved with us," said Dr. Cullen kindly.

Leah's warm hand took my wrist and half-dragged me away from the scene.

"I would have gotten that tick myself if Jacob hadn't gone in the way," muttered Leah.

"It was about to choke you to death!"

"I would have handled it. I wouldn't have become what I am now if I'm not capable of taking care of myself. Apparently, just because I'm a girl, they don't think I can do anything by myself."

I didn't answer this time. I knew how she felt. "But you're a pack—you do stuff together," I said, trying to calm her down.

"If Paul or Jacob or Jared did what I did, would anyone else have stopped them?"

"Maybe," I squeaked.

Leah's grip tightened until it almost hurt. "If you were me, if you heard what Jacob was thinking when I attacked the vampire, you would be angry, too. He was like, 'Leah needs help!' Do you realize how insulting that is? I was trying to prove I was as good as any of them. Jacob didn't even give me a chance!" Her voice cracked. She was about to cry from rage.

"Maybe he was worried about you."

"Oh, please—he was only worried I would come out looking like an idiot."

Beaten Once More

When I returned home a little later than expected, I lied that I ran into my friends and we hung out for a while. I blamed the slippery ground for the filth on my clothes and the bruise on my cheek.

I visited Jacob the next day. He looked rather unwell, but according to him, he was much better now than if he was a "normal person" with the same injuries. "Without my healing ability, I would still be having trouble breathing," he explained.

"But do make sure you make yourself cough, okay? It keeps blood or water from getting in your lungs," I told him.

"Yeah, Dr. Cullen tells me that," he said, smiling. "But you don't need to worry. I'll be fine in a few days. Dr. Cullen says my tissues are continuously repairing themselves."

"That's good to hear.

"I hope you don't mind my asking, but how did the fight with the vampires go?"

"We had the time of our lives," said Jacob proudly.

"Nobody else was hurt?"

"Edward's blond brother did a good job training us before the fight. It turns out he used to be a soldier in the Civil War."

"He's a soldier at that age?"

"I know; it's surprising. But if every one of us survived, so he was pretty good."

"Nobody else was even hurt like you?"

"The newborns were great in strength but they lacked skill. Besides, my brothers and I are built to kill them. I was just unlucky enough to have Leah proud enough to take on one by herself."

"If you're going to keep blaming her, maybe you shouldn't have bothered helping her," I said.

"I saved her for you. I know how much you care about her."

My face grew hot with shame. "I'm sorry, Jacob."

But Jacob only gave a small smile and reached for my hand. Squeezing it with affection, he said, "You said you'd do anything to keep me and Leah. I figured you don't want to weep for her."

"You could have died too!"

"You told Leah: we work as a pack. She almost died because she didn't let us back her up; I could have died if it weren't for Sam and the others helping me."

I gave him a kiss on the forehead. "You know, the outcome of events seems miraculous. I am thankful that all of you are alive, but the vampires' strength has to be greater than Jasper's strategy."

"The newborns didn't know what they were expecting. They turned out to be easy to kill."

"What do you mean 'newborns'? Do you mean 'newborn' vampires?"

"Yeah, newly turned ones," said Jacob. "If you ask me, it would have been nice if they killed at least three of the Cullens—maybe not the doctor though."

I only laughed. Shortly afterwards, I returned home.

Jacob may have made things clear for me, but Leah remained firm and unrepentant, convinced that it was Jacob's fault he got hurt. Maybe she was just trying to avoid losing face. Her desire to prove her worth was legitimate and reasonable, after all. But from the way the others looked at her, she just came off as insufferably arrogant. At this point, there was nothing I could do; the brotherhood's telepathic contact could hide no secrets, so my sheer intuition was no match for it.

A week after the battle with the vampires, I received an expensive-looking perfumed letter in the mail. Mama wore a look of disapproval when she and I learned that it was an invitation to Edward and Bella's wedding. "I hope you don't marry as soon," said my mother.

"Don't worry," I said. "There is no one in my life right now."

"Are you even going to attend the wedding, Beulah?" asked Mama, not bothering to hide her distaste. "You don't even like Bella. There's an RSVP—you can opt to decline."

"No, I think I'm going," I decided. I guessed Bella was inviting me for old times' sake. She must be planning to make peace with me, which would be nice. At least, then, I could later say goodbye to her without a heavy feeling in my heart. I needed the closure. My other friends would probably be there. They still thought of her as a friend, after all.

Mama forced a smile that looked more like a grimace. I was not happy with Bella's decision either. I doubted if anyone was. I wondered how Jacob was taking this. Personally, I was done with fighting. If Bella was happy with this, so be it; let her deal with the consequences later. My concern now was Jacob. This news must be sheer torture to him.

But I was busy preparing to leave for Seattle that going to La Push just to see how he was would take too much of my time and energy at the moment. He didn't contact me for two days. On the second night, I was collecting samples of my writing when, to my surprise, Bella called.

"Is Jacob there, Beulah?" she asked. I was annoyed that she never called me to ask about me.

"It's almost nine o'clock. He's not here. He shouldn't even be here at this hour. Wasn't he injured just days ago?" I said.

"He's okay now, but not really. Seth called. Jake is depressed and rattled. He transformed and ran off. His brothers know what he's thinking and feeling but he wouldn't answer them. They couldn't find him," she told me.

This was her fault. She shouldn't be surprised. In fact, she shouldn't even bother pretending to worry. If she cared at all for him, she would have made the separation easier beforehand.

"He's not here," I said firmly. "Jacob is not a little boy anymore. I trust him. I also trust his brothers to stay behind him. If you're so worried about him, maybe you should go tracking with Seth or something. Now, if you'll excuse me …" I hung up before she could make up an excuse.

What I had said was more for myself than for her. I got worried as soon as she told me the news. But I was sick of her encouraging Jacob to think that she is in love with him. He might not look it, but Jacob was really just a boy. He was too naïve, too driven by his emotions that he could easily be fooled by Bella's affectionate behavior towards him.

The following morning, Mama and Papa woke me up. They hadn't woken me up since elementary school. "What's going on?" I asked, glancing at my clock. It was only six in the morning.

"Beulah, please, explain these," said Papa, dropping a canvas sack full of disassembled parts of my diamond chainsaw.

"You are clearly hiding something from your father and me," said Mama. "We don't like secrets."

Papa sighed and showed me six bottles of painkillers, all due to expire on the same date. "These have much later expiration dates than the one we bought recently. We don't buy you as many pills because we know the risks."

"Have you been buying these behind our back, Beulah?" asked Mama.

I start to cry. "But it hurts, Mama!"

"Then, you could have told us!" said Papa. "We could have consulted your surgeon or your therapist."

"No! I need it!"

My parents looked at each other. "You don't need so much in so little time!" shouted Mama. "The last one we bought should not have been empty so quickly!"

"How many pills do you take in a day?" demanded Papa.

I kept crying. I had lost count. "They make me feel normal," I told them.

"Normal people don't overdose on painkillers and sneak deadly weapons in her room, 1Sarica."

"The pills are messing with your head," said Mama. "I know you've always been a bit of a thrill seeker, but a chainsaw made from discarded dental equipment is out of the question!"

"What are you going to do to me?"

Papa spoke, "I know that your condition has been difficult to cope with. We thought you were coping so well since you spend so much time with your friends and even resumed cheerleading. But if you have to overdose to do all that, there's a problem. You're not a living if a handful of pills is doing it for you."

"What your father means is that," said Mama, "you're going to fix this in rehab."

1 Little Princess in Hebrew

Aeshna Lacrymosa | 18