Ponyboy sighed as he walked slowly to the love shack. He knew there was a big chance he'd never leave again. "Snickers?" He said in a voice he barely recognized. Snickers looked up. "Oh, hey, Ponyboy! How's it goin'?"

"Not too good." Pony answered quietly. "Can we talk, alone?" Snickers must've seen something in his face, because his tone became somber, and he nodded, pushing his girl off his lap. "Yeah, okay, bro. Come on." He and Pony walked to the back room, where Snickers shut the door. "What's the matter?" Pony dropped his head. "My buddy Steve... He's dead. He was shot, by one of your guys." He confessed. "What?" Snickers asked. "One of your guys shot my friend because he wasn't a hippie."

"That ain't my fault. Deal with that guy." Pony looked up, forcing his anger back. Losing his head would do no good right now. "I don't care who's fault it was. My brother's stuck in that goddamned war, two of my friends are dead, and my other one hates my guts for being what I am! I want out, Brian!" He shouted, calling Snickers by his real name. Snickers stepped back, his eyes wide. "You can't... You can't want out. This is the good life, buddy."

"Well not for me. I want out. I'm losin' too much already, Brian... I can't lose Johnny."

"That greaser." Pony glared. "He ain't a greaser. He's just my friend. My friend, you understand that. You were sobbin' when Blackie died! I don't wanna lose another friend, Brian, please!" Snickers shook his head. "It ain't that easy... Not now. We changed the rules, buddy. It ain't that easy to get out."

"I don't care! As long as I get out with my life, I don't care! I want out!" Snickers stared for a moment, amazed that such a loud voice could come out of such a small teen. "Alright, Ponyboy. Alright. Come back in a few days if you still want out, and I'll see what I can do." Pony stared at him for a few moments the nodded slowly, his hands un-clenching from the fists they'd formed.

"Johnny?" Pony said in a quiet voice. Johnny looked up, his eyes angry. Pony dropped his head. "Can I sit by you?" Johnny grunted something. Pony walked in and sat by him. He, despite arguments from Sky, had her cut his hair as short as it used to be. He'd greased his hair up once again and put on his old, beat up Levis. He hadn't had a smoke of anything today, not even tobacco. He knew he needed a clear head for the next few days.

Pony bit his lip then sighed. "I'm tryin' to get out. I don't want that life no more. I want my friends back... Steve was my buddy too, man, and it kills me to know he's dead. I don't want that life no more." Johnny looked over at his friend. "I thought you couldn't get out?"

"I'm not s'posed to be able to. But Snickers, he understands me, understands where I'm comin' from. He's gonna try to get me out. He's the gang leader, so he has to figure out a way to get me out without lettin' everyone think they can get out so easy."

"He might kill you, Ponyboy." Pony looked over quickly. "Would you care? If a hippie died?" He asked, a little more angry than he meant to. Johnny pulled back then sighed. "I guess I kinda lost it, huh?" Pony nodded weakly. "Yeah... But I understand why. You're the only one of us that ain't changed, even if I go back to bein' a greaser, I'll still be differ'nt." Johnny nodded. "What if he kills you, Ponyboy? I didn't mean the stuff I said about you, I didn't... I need you, Pony, I need all a you."

"He won't kill me, Johnny." Pony said, but wasn't so sure himself. He glanced down and saw his hands shaking a bit. "You got a smoke?"

"Of what?" Johnny asked. Pony smiled weakly. "Tobacco." He answered. Johnny handed him one and the lighter. Pony took a drag and smiled. "Thanks, John." He sighed and looked down. "Hey, Ponyboy?"

"Yeah?"

"Did you ever do more than pot while you was with those hippies?" Pony bit his lip, the night Blackie died washing over him like a deadly flood. "Yeah... But only once. I ain't addicted to it, man."

"What was it?"

"Coke... Blackie laced a joint with it... I took two drags and passed out... It was the night he died." Pony muttered, dropping his head. Johnny nodded. "What're you gonna do about your marijuana addiction?" He asked. Pony shrugged. "Pot doesn't have any known physical addictions, Johnnycake. Just mental. I won't go through as many physical withdrawl symptoms, just mental ones... I'll just start actin' weird, but I promise, I ain't gonna go back to it."

"You promise me that, Ponyboy?" Pony nodded and looked at his friend. "I'm sorry." He said quietly. Johnny nodded. "Yeah... Yeah, me too, man." He said. Pony smiled and Johnny pulled him into a hug, burying his face in Pony's neck.

"Come in, Ponyboy." Snickers said with a solemn tone. Pony dropped his head and stepped it. A few of the hippies he used to know as friends turned their backs on him, literally. His hair was greased and he had the clothing he'd gotten from Snickers and Blackie in his hands. Snickers sighed. "I understand why, Ponyboy, but it ain't easy."

"I know, Snickers." He said, tossing the clothing onto the couch. "To tell ya the truth, I ain't never had no one wanna get out before."

"They all died too soon." Pony muttered sourly. Snickers sighed. "So I had to figure out a way to get you 'out' as you put it. I couldn't think of nothin'." Pony looked up. Maybe he'd gotten lucky... Maybe Snickers was just going to let him go. "So, I asked some other boys... They had some good ideas, but they all said pretty much the same thing, do an old fashioned 'gang jump out.'" Pony felt his stomach lurch. He'd heard of more than one person, back a few years ago, that was killed in a jump-out. He nodded nonetheless. "Fine." He said. Snickers nodded. "I want you to leave, right now, but don't go home, just wander around... We'll find you."

"How many?"

"That's for me to decide... I had a lot of hope for you, Pony... You were gonna be my second in command." Pony thought of Blackie's grinning face and shook his head. "I guess I'll see ya'll around." Pony turned and exited the love shack.

Sky grumbled something and pushed Dally out of the way. She'd been sick for a few mornings now, and was blaming it mostly on him. "I'm sorry, honey..." He said softly. She smiled weakly and shrugged. "Can I get you anythin'?"

"You can carry the kid for about a month and see how you like it." She answered with a smile. Dally smiled and walked up to her, giving her a soft kiss. "It'll be nice, though, once he's outa there..."

"There ya go with that he stuff... You don't even know if it's a boy yet."

"I guess if I use 'he' enough, I think it might end up bein' a boy." Sky chuckled and pushed Dally playfully. "You're crazy, Winston."

"You love me for it." He answered, grabbing her hips and kissing her forehead.

"Ponyboy!" Darry cried, turning to look down the darkened alleys. It was nearly four AM, and his baby brother had left at 11:00 this morning. When it hit 10:00 PM, Johnny had come over to see if Pony was back. When he learned that he wasn't, he tearfully and rapidly explained what Pony had gone to do. He persuaded Two-Bit and Darry to wait for Sky and Dallas, who also knew what Pony had planned on doing. They arrived at midnight and heard the bad news, Pony was still missing. They decided to go out and search for the youngest greaser, starting at the east end of town and working their way down to the west side.

"Pony!" Johnny yelled through cupped palms. He thought he saw movement and raced down a black alley. He looked at the ground and around dumpsters, looking for his friend. He took a turn onto a new street with a sigh. He dropped to his knees, tears rising. It was all his fault Pony was missing, probably dead, he was the one that had convinced the younger boy to get out. He could hear voices approaching him, those of Dally and Sky, both crying Pony's name. He slowly got to his feet and continued to walk, taking blind turns down alleys. His vision began to blur as it hit five. He glanced up and saw the sun breaking over the horizon. He thought of the time out in Windrixville and shook his head. He'd been lucky to live that day, if Dally had grabbed him a moment later he would've died. He stood still, watching the sunrise.

It was at that moment that he realized he was being foolish. He didn't want things to change, but they'd been changing since 1966. They'd all changed at least a little bit when the boys came back from Windrixville. As each year pressed on them, they changed, just a little. As Johnny Cade stood, watching the sun rise, he realized that he too had changed, quite a bit. He thought of Windrixville once more and a smile crossed his face. "Nothing gold can stay." He whispered. He wracked his brain, trying to remember the poem. He spoke it as he remembered it;

"Nature's first green is gold,

Her hardest hue to hold.

Her early leaf's a flower;

But only so an hour.

Then leaf subsides to leaf.

So Eden sank to grief,

So dawn goes down to day.

Nothing gold can stay."

Johnny smiled. That poem was more correct than he'd ever realized. Not changing was gold. Being a kid forever and not realizing that life doesn't work the way you want it to, that was gold. In a world where things that were gold could stay, Sodapop wouldn't have gone off to war, Steve would still be alive, Dally would still be mean, tough old Dally, Sky would've found a decent boyfriend, Two-Bit and Darry would still be straight, and hell, Two-Bit would probably still be in high school. Pony's parents wouldn't have died, and he and Pony wouldn't have ever hidden out in that church. Socs and greasers wouldn't exist, everyone would be equal and friendly... That was a fantasy world. Things change, Johnny realized, and it was time he accepted that.

When the sun revealed it's bright, warm face fully, Johnny began to search again, the morning dew dampening his greased hair.

"Ponyboy?" He whispered, racing over to the lump in one alley. He could no longer hear the calls of his friends. "Ponyboy!" He cried when he saw his friend fully. He grabbed Pony's arm and gave him a good shake, the other boy groaning in pain. He winced. "Sorry, Pony, I just had to make sure you was still alive." He said. He pulled Pony carefully away from the wall and into his lap. Pony's face was a swollen mess, cuts and bruises everywhere. His clothes were ripped and cuts and bruises showed through the holes. His lip was split open and he had dried blood from a bloody nose. "I found him!" Johnny cried as he held his unconscious friend. No one heard his cries, however. As much as it hurt, Darry had given up, losing hope that Pony was alive around the start of the sunrise. He, Dally, Sky, and Two-Bit had gone to the Curtis home after they'd searched for, but were unable to find, Johnny. Johnny yelled until his voice was gone, then realized the truth. They thought Pony was dead... They gave up. Johnny shook his head. He slowly stood and pulled Pony up, hanging one of the boy's arms over his shoulder. "Come on, Ponyboy, you gotta help me out here, man. We're all alone in this." He said quietly. Pony slowly came to and Johnny smiled. "Come on, Ponyboy, we gotta get you home... I'm proud of you." He said as he began to walk, Pony stumbling along next to him. "I'm really proud of you." He kept muttering as they walked home.

The house was silent when they entered. Johnny pulled Pony into his bedroom and laid him on the bed. Darry was probably at work by now, as it was nearly eight, and Two-Bit was probably wandering the town, maybe looking for them once again. Dally and Sky were most likely at home. Johnny carefully stripped his friend and washed his cuts out, pouring peroxide on them afterwards to make sure they weren't infected. He got Pony into a pair of his briefs and pulled the covers over him. Pony's eyes slowly opened and Johnny smiled. "Johnny? Am I home?" He asked quietly. "Yeah, Ponyboy. You're home. Hey, I got some great news..." He said quietly. Pony's eyes fluttered but opened once more. "Yeah?" He asked. Johnny nodded. "Yeah, Pony. I understand it now. I know about change... I know we all change. I know it has to happen, Ponyboy. I understand it, and I think it's amazing." Pony smiled. Johnny bit his lip then smiled. "I wanted you to know that." Pony nodded then slowly fell asleep again.