Right, so I got pretty positive feedback for the previous chap (thank god), and some things made me dizzy. Not exactly in a bad way, but yeah. Not good while sick.

Disclaimer: See chapter 2.

Yippie-ka-fucking-yay, man.


Writing is a socially acceptable form of schizophrenia – E. L. Doctorow


Which may mean we're all doomed, but we'll just have to see.


"Are you freaking serious?!"

"And don't even give us that crap you did last time!"

"You can't make Professor Snape test the blood, does he even know?!"

Remus sighed again. "Would you rather I told him?"

"What? No! But couldn't you find anyone else to test the blood?"

"I fail to see the problem, Mr. Potter."

They whirled around to see Severus staring at them. Hermione thought she saw his eye twitch, too.

It's actually probably Snape, really, but you'd die probably of horror. Harry's brain snapped back. He just barely stopped himself from saying it to his maybe-father's face. Even though he found it completely unfair that his probably-real-father was completely chilling. But then again, he didn't know.

Harry found himself wishing he didn't know, either.

"There's no problem, Professor." Draco assured. "Harry's just a bit worried-"

"If you knew who we were testing, then you wouldn't be so up to it!" Harry said crossly.

"I do believe it was your blood I was testing on, Potter."

Harry internally snarked. What're ya gonna do when it really does end up 'Snape'?

"Yeah, and who else's?" He asked instead.

"Some unfortunate bloke who is your father. Someone who's not James."

Severus looked utterly delighted about the whole matter.

"Yeah, well, do you know who the man is? The one we're testing?"

"Unfortunately, Remus did not tell me that." Severus's eyes swept over at said man disdainfully.

"It's a man you like," Harry continued miserably. "And if he really ends up being the father, you like him so much, you'll probably kill me."

"...What."

Snape actually made it sound like a sentence, instead of a question.

Hermione was staring at Harry with a bemused look. "I have no idea, Professor."

Remus sighed for what felt like the hundredth time. "Do you three want the blood results or not?"

"We do."

"Come on, then."

"Just not-"

"Oh, shut up, Harry. You know we can't ask anyone else. They're too nosy."

"Have you seen the size of his nose?"

Severus bristled. Draco slapped the back of Harry's head.

Upon reaching his classroom, Severus walked up to his desk and took out three vials and placed them on his desk. The rest quietly took chairs and brought them up to his desk. The potions' genius refused to acknowledge them.

"...Hey, Professor, what's the third vial?"

"Verum Sanguinis," Came the reply after a few seconds. "It gives the truth about blood - heritage, status, the like. You must keep in mind what you want to know and direct it at the potion and blood with your wand - or in some cases, with your mind, if you can do it well enough."

Severus took the two vials of blood and took approximately five drops from each into a petri dish-like bowl. He then took the third vial, and using a dropper, let one drop fall onto the mixture of the two blood types in the bowl. Then he pointed his wand at the mixture, which let out a stream of blue light. The mixture turned bright green.

They all stared at the bowl in silence.

"I wouldn't suppose that means negative, now..." Hermione trailed off in a weak voice.

"It is very much positive." Severus confirmed.

Harry looked sick. Draco was patting his back sympathetically, and Remus looked like he just didn't know what to do.

Severus looked over them. "Who is it?"

Harry looked at him with lost eyes. Snape blinked.

Harry was changing - his bodily appearance seemed the same, it was just his eyes and hair. His green eyes now had pieces of brown littered about, and his hair was in different shades varying from dark red to black. Draco and Hermione did a double take.

"Wow."

"Your hair's pink, man."

"It's red," Hermione assured him. "Guess from your mother."

"And the black from-" Draco blinked and looked at Snape. "Er - your father."

Remus tilted his head slightly. He stood up and pushed Harry so he was standing next to Snape. Severus looked bewildered. Remus tilted his head again.

"They actually do look a bit similar, don't they?"

Draco and Hermione hummed in agreement. "If you take away the nose, then you could actually consider him the father." Hermione mused.

Severus paled drastically. "...What...?"

"Or we could just keep pulling Harry's nose and then punch it at an angle that would make it look similar."

Hermione frowned. "I wouldn't go with that - he might lose fangirls. We have to see how they react to red hair, anyway."

"And his eyes."

Harry made a face. "Why are my fangirls so important?"

"How do you think we make money?"

Severus fainted.


"Do not touch me!" Severus snarled.

Hermione obediently retracted her hand. Severus glared at her and turned so his back was facing them. He heard Draco snort.

"Real mature, Prof."

"Where's the brat?"

"Hey, he's your kid - you have to call him Harry now."

"Come on, say it with us - Ha-rry. A disgustingly common name. It's ridiculously easy to pronounce."

"I'll call him what I like," Snape snapped. "And don't tell me he's my son. Now where is he?"

Hermione snickered. "He's going to have a field day if he knows you asked about him. He's up in his room."

"Sulking." Draco added.

The curtain was pulled back and Remus's face made an appearance. "Awake yet?"

"Apparently so." Came Severus's muffled voice from underneath the blankets. Hermione raised her eyebrows.

"So that's where Harry gets his love of blankets. You're actually a bigger softie than I thought, Professor."

"Shut up, Miss Granger."

"Sure."

Draco poked Snape's lumpy form under the blanket. "You're gonna have to talk to him sooner or later, Professor."

"Better later, then."

"Do it for Lily."

Hermione and Draco whipped their heads to look at Remus with wide eyes. Severus slowly pulled down the blanket to join them.

"You're horrible."

"You love me."

"Merlin forbid."


Luna sighed.

"Harry, I'm sure he didn't faint because he didn't want you as his son or anything-"

"He did. That's exactly why he fainted." Came the muffled reply from under the blankets. "He looked so revolted and disgusted-"

"You know that's not true-"

"It is."

"Harry, don't be ridiculous."

"So now I'm ridiculous."

"No, Harry, no. Will you try to understand what I'm saying?"

"I don't want to."

"I bet he feels terrible, you know."

"Obvs he would, seeing as he hates me and all and now has to deal with me being his son."

"Merlin's Nargles, Harry-"

"I don't want to hear it."

"...Fine."

"Thanks."

A few minutes passed. Luna stood up. Harry's new reddish black head peeked out of the covers. "Where are you going?"

"To someone who actually wants to be with me."

"I want you to be here."

He dived back under the covers when Luna walked back.

"Okay. Can I talk to you about Professor Snape being your father, then?"

Harry let out a groan. "Fine. But only 'cause your my friend."

"Mhm. So, about Snape-"

"I changed my mind."

"Too late. Now about Professor Snape, he'll come around. He can't avoid you forever, and it's better you two settle this sooner than later."

"He'll choose later."

"And you?"

"...I choose later, too."

Luna let her forehead hit the bedpost. The door swung open at that moment, permitting Vincent and Gregory. They blinked at her. Then they looked at the lump covered by blankets. They dragged their eyes back to her.

"We'll come at another time." Gregory said politely.

"Thank you," Luna said back, bowing her head at them a little.

They left.

"They have very good manners." She commented.

Harry snorted. "That's just 'cause they thought we were-"

"…We were?"

"Nothing."

After a few minutes, she'd finally gotten rid of all - well, most - of Harry's negative thoughts. The door opened again. This time it was Blaise. He glanced at Luna, to Harry, and back at Luna.

"I'll come back later."

"Thanks."

He left. Luna turned to Harry.

"Are all Slytherins this nice?"

Harry snorted. "Hardly. They've just misunderstood what we're doing."

"What do they think we're doing?"

Harry threw off his covers and looked at Luna dead in the eye. She stared back, perplexed. He sighed and covered his head again.

"You don't wanna know."


Dear Harry,

I'm really sorry for this - I shouldn't have kept it a secret. But at the time I found out you weren't James' son, our relationship was hanging on threads, and I had no idea where Severus was, or what he was doing. So the only thing I could do was put a long-term disillusionment charm on you and pray no one found out.

"...That's it?"

"...Seems like she couldn't finish the letter..."

"Oh well."

"Chill, Harry, maybe she didn't know how. I don't know, but this type of thing seems kinda hard to put in words."

"The truth has been spoken."

"And the mighty have fallen."

Hermione rolled her eyes. "Shut up, you guys."

Draco mimicked her. "'Shut up, you guys.'"

"My voice is not squeaky."

"Ah. Sorry."

"Mhm."

Hermione looked at Severus and Harry. "So now what are you guys gonna do? Get over it and let Harry call you Dad, or just forget everything?"

"The latter."

Harry's face fell. The rest of the people in the room stared at Severus. "What the hell?"

"The Wizarding World won't be happy if I'm the father - far from it."

"Okay, so we won't tell them. Now can I call you 'Dad'?"

Hermione grinned. "Can we call you Uncle Sev?"

Severus blanched. Remus patted his back.

"We're going to have to tell the whole world sooner or later-"

"Later, then."

"But just how are we going to break it to them?"

"...That's a good question."

"With no answer."

"Malfoy, stop stating the obvious."

"Just saying."

"How about we just start with Hogwarts?" said Hermione. "Better not break it to the whole world at once."

"...Make sure Rita Skeeter is the last to know, then."

They snorted. "Pleasure."


SEVERUS SNAPE, FATHER OF HARRY POTTER?

By Rita Skeeter

Apparently, former Death Eater Severus Snape has been found to be Harry Potter's father!

See more on page 17.

"This-"

"How-"

"What-"

"Why-"

"Bloody-"

"Fuck-"

Hermione looked up with wide eyes. "Who said that?"

Harry slouched. "Sorry 'Mione."

"Wait till next year, please. Then I'll have no objections to your curses."

"...You curse all the time."

"I happen to know what I'm saying."

"Jesus."

"You're not even Christian." Hermione muttered.

Harry pushed away his plate, trying his best to ignore the stares and loud whispers.

"I've lost my appetite."

"Don't let a worm ruin it, Harry."

"...Okay."

Hermione stared at the paper in her hands with disgust. "She's written two whole pages! How the hell did she get all that information? It's like she was in the room with us! We didn't even tell anyone other than Professor McGonacall and Dumbledore!"

"So it's true?"

Their heads flew up from the paper. Harry let out a breath of relief at seeing the twins. "It's only you guys."

"Gee, I feel so loved."

"Kidding, man. Thought you might be a fangirl or similar."

"That makes me feel even worse, Freddie."

"It does."

"Sorry." Hermone apologized, "But we didn't know if we should tell you or not. Before we know it, the world knows already."

Luna ran up to where they were sitting and began piling up her plate. She looked like she'd run a hundred miles. "Morning. Oh, hello Fred and George."

"You can tell them apart, Luna?"

Fred rolled his eyes. "We don't know how she does it - she just knows. She's also one of the only Ravenclaws that respects us out of their own will, so we like her."

Harry glowered at Fred.

"Hey," Hermione began hurriedly. "Harry can Earth-bend. I've searched and searched, but I can't find anything in the library that explains it."

The twins blinked. "Can you really? Bill's the only one we know who can Earth-bend, and he's always away in Egypt."

"...Wait a second. You mean lots of people have this thingy?"

"Oh, no, no, no. Earth-bending is the rarest of all four elements - Fire, Water, Air and Earth. Most strong wizards have it - I'm not surprised Harry boy here does. Thing is, we don't go around showing it off. Luna, if you please."

"Long before Hogwarts had been found, this small group wizards and witches learned how to bend elements. Unfortunately, they got too greedy-"

Harry snorted. "As usual."

"-And eventually they fought and ended up killing each other. After that, whoever could do bending was shunned. So people who have this thingy keep it a secret."

George nodded. "Lovely story, really. Then the founders came along - they could bend, too. They tried to make people see that bending could be used for good - dunno how, but yeah."

"Helga could Earth-bend," Fred continued. "Rowena, Air-bend, Godric, Fire-bend, and Salazar could Water-bend. They almost succeeded, but then a bunch of purebloods ended up not agreeing and it all just went insane."

"So they were killed." Luna finished.

Hermione blinked. "I always did think the Wizarding World was made up of a bunch of drama queens."

"Well, now that you've told us something very shameful," Fred and George grinned, "we can bend, too. Mum hates our bending - always fussing that someone will find out. I'm Water."

"And I'm Air," said Fred.

"Bill's Earth, Charlie's Fire. Comes most handy with his dragons."

"Percy can or cannot bend - we've got no idea. Ronnie can't bend yet or can't at all, and dear Ginny's still too young."

"Oh."

"Anything else?"

"No?"

"We'll be on our way, then. Have fun."

"Yeah."

Hermione whistled. "That was some deep... crap. I was totally gonna say that." She added at all the dubious looks.


FINALLY.

I'm terrified of this chapter, and I sincerely hope it was all fine.

Who am I kidding, it sucked.

Thanks go to AliceEnchanted, SassyDoe, meadow-music, crazycheshire. cat, HarryPMerlinLuv, Carolyn12 ( ).