A/n Thanks to ebhg for beta'ing.
Last chapter:
Bella and Marcus had some bonding time over books.
The Cullens showed up in Volterra.
AND… Aro insisted that Bella show up for "family dinner." (eep)
I was right, supper was torture. I don't ever want to think about it again. I will never regain that ten minutes of my life. Aro's insistence that I be present for the meal was a bad idea on his part; it cemented my desire to bring down the Volturi. My throat and eyes both burned as I exited the feeding chamber. I was thirsty but had no desire to participate in the bloodbath that passed for "supper" in the castle. My eyes stung as I tried not to think about all of those people being led to their death. My tears stubbornly refused to fall. It was the cruel reality of vampirism, death, destruction, and no way to release the emotion that was currently pent up.
All of those people who would never go home.
I choked back a sob, and ran for my room. I could still smell their blood, on my clothes, in my hair. I had been strong; I stood and merely observed the bloodbath. I stripped and turned on the hot water to my shower. With the spray beating down on my stone skin, I rocked back and forth in an effort to comfort myself. The hot water was unpleasant, but it helped. It was like a fire, cleansing me, sterilizing my body to remove any trace of blood.
When I finally felt clean, I realized that I had to get a message to Edward. Since my note detailing the plan wasn't retrieved in Seattle, I needed to touch base and let my family know what we needed to do. I was no longer frustrated by Edward's presence, since it allowed me to communicate with them. Perhaps I should have considered that in my initial plans, but I wanted Edward to be safe.
I turned off the water, and stayed in the tub. As part of my shield I could feel those around me. They were like stars in a black sky. The more familiar I was with someone, the brighter the star. I wanted to find Edward before I dropped my shield and tried to communicate. There had to be an inconspicuous way to use my shield to get a response.
I closed my eyes and searched for bright stars, there were three. One was on a lower level with a slightly dimmer star, that had to be Charlie. The other two were somewhat closer, one of them was pacing. I dropped my shield completely.
Edward.
There was no change.
Edward, please hear me. I know that there are a lot of other voices in the castle, but I need you to hear me, Edward. It's Bella, please stop pacing if you can hear me.
I watched his movements slow and then stop.
Edward, I need to be sure. Take one step to the right if you can hear me.
He stepped to the right. I sighed with relief.
Charlie and Sue are being held on one of the lower levels. I showed him my trip down to their cell, being sure to show him the trip there so that he would know where they were. We have to free them before the Volturi can use them against me. I'm sorry but we're about to start a war. Step left if you heard all of that.
He moved.
I think that I can protect everyone, but we need to strike all at once. I need another day to figure out exactly what our plans should be. I have a feeling that we can end this with very little fighting.
I love you so much, I told him. I miss you so bad that it hurts. Please be safe, so that I can come back to you.
I pulled my shield back up, fighting tears that would never fall. I had to admit that being a vampire was fun when everything went well, but during an emotional crisis I missed tears. Sleep would have been nice, too.
I had work to do. There was no time to molly coddle myself and wish for tears. I climbed out of the tub, and dried myself. I donned new black clothing that didn't smell like blood and death, and ventured down to speak to Marcus. I needed to feed, and arrangements had to be made.
I knew that I'd find him in the library, mulling over some rare, ancient book that a human would never dare to touch without gloves. I reached his personal sanctuary and pushed open the heavy-looking doors, nothing was heavy anymore. He looked up into my black eyes.
"I had thought as much," he murmured.
"Sorry, I just can't," I responded lamely.
"You should consider it. Holding onto this weak, human façade is only going to hurt you in the long run," he sighed. "You remind me of Carlisle when I first met him."
"How so?" I asked, suddenly intrigued, and willing to forget my thirst in favor of first-hand information about Carlisle's early life.
"He was very much like you, idealistic, caring, weak…" He leveled a glance at me over the book before turning a page. "The fact that neither of you will even attempt a natural diet also comes to mind. He was just as stubborn as you are, hopefully more so as I have no intention of spending decades attempting to rid you of this foolishness."
"I can't do it, Marcus."
"You should call me Master," he sighed again. "Aro and Caius will think that I'm mishandling you, especially as I'm about to allow you to leave the city to hunt."
"Thank you, Mar- Master." I smiled and bowed my head.
"Take Felix," he ordered.
My heart sunk slightly. It seemed that like the other brethren, Marcus was going to push for me to bond with Felix. Although his methods were less obvious, I could still see through him. He wanted me to let go of Edward.
"Of course," I responded, head still bowed, and exited the room without turning my back on him. The formality was new. I felt as if I could have gotten away with more casual behavior had I fed with the rest of the guard.
I walked down to the courtyard in search of Felix. The day was overcast, so perhaps he would be willing to take me hunting before practice.
I rounded a corner and heard voices. I instinctually flattened myself against the wall and stopped breathing.
"She's well in hand," a male voice snapped.
"Make certain that she is. I don't want her questioning where her loyalty lies just now," Caius seethed. His voice was easy to recognize. "She was looking at Isabella like she might have a choice. I need her distracted, Afton."
"I'll handle it, Master," Afton responded.
I slid into an alcove to hide as they passed. I swallowed back the venom that pooled in my mouth and burned my throat. I considered following them, perhaps I could gain some more useful information, like who they were discussing. If we had an ally… I abandoned the thought as I stepped back into the corridor. I could smell a human and hear his heart beating nearby. The sound was torturous and inviting.
I had to find Felix and hunt. Although I was fairly certain that I wouldn't drink from a human, I couldn't be sure and had no desire to test myself. Information gathering would have to wait until I'd fed. I held my breath and continued on to the courtyard.
Felix wasn't there. I stood in the relative silence of the courtyard. It was different without the rest of the guard practicing. It was surprisingly peaceful. I could feel Edward, he wasn't far. Perhaps he was taking a walk. I looked up and scanned the balconies that opened out to view the space.
I caught a glimpse of bronze hair for a fleeting moment. Edward was three stories up, looking down on me. I dropped my shield again.
I love you.
It snapped back into place around me like a rubber band. I continued to stare up where he'd been, hoping for another glance, another brief moment, something to ground me. He was gone, and he took my heart with him.
I sensed someone behind me. I spun and ducked into a crouch, only to find Felix. He'd had a post dinner bath and was clothed in fresh robes.
"Black looks good on you," he commented. Felix and I hadn't had a conversation since my official promotion. "You belong with the upper guard, don't allow anyone to discourage you."
"Thanks." I remained crouched.
"You neglected to feed, Marcus sent me to find you." He paused. "You know that I won't attack you, get up," he sighed. He was so unnaturally still that I found it disconcerting. Most of the guard was like that, still, silent. They were all statues unless they were fighting or feeding.
"I need to find prey, preferably something carnivorous," I explained.
"There's not much around Volterra that would fit that bill unless you're open to humans."
I shrunk back and hissed.
"Fine, we might be able to find a bear if we go far enough. I really don't think you can afford to be picky though," he sighed again, looking at my eyes.
"Deer it is," I agreed and stood.
"Come, we'll take the South passage out of town." He beckoned to me.
I followed him through the catacombs under the castle to a passageway. From there we ran for miles before exiting the tunnel into a wooded area.
"Do watch out for hikers," he warned in a voice that betrayed his apathy.
"Don't worry about me," I huffed and took off running.
Felix followed me at a safe distance. It was my understanding that it would be unsafe for him to threaten my kill. Edward and I had always been able to hunt together relatively peacefully provided that we had enough game, but I also loved Edward. I had no love for Felix. I was pretty sure that given the excuse, I would kill him. Overpowering him would be easy enough since I was still a newborn. If he wasn't prepared and I used my shield, then I would have the upper hand.
I considered it as I ran.
I could kill Felix.
I could kill Felix and prove my loyalty by returning to Volterra without my guard. That would probably impress Caius, but at what cost? Would there be repercussions? Would they hurt Charlie and Sue?
It was too dangerous. I abandoned the idea. There was too much at stake to risk my father. No one else would ever have to die for me, there had already been too many. I just couldn't bear to lose anyone else. Whatever I would gain wasn't worth it.
I caught a scent from the East. It was a herd of deer. They smelled slightly different from the deer I'd encountered in America, but still the same. They were gamey and a bit too sweet as a rule, but it appeared that venison was all that was on the menu.
I turned and felt Felix turn with me. Damn he was irritating. I could feel the urge to fight him boil up inside me again, and tamped it back down.
The herd was close enough to identify the individual deer. I picked an older one, knowing I wasn't choosing one that was viable for breeding. It smelled a bit off, and tasted a bit off when I sunk my teeth into its flesh, but it kept my thirst manageable. I gulped it down cleanly and neatly. It was too sweet, and tasted green like grass. It wasn't what the burn inside of me wanted, but I drank it anyway. With the last gulp I rose and turned to Felix.
"That was…" he trailed off.
"That was dinner," I said. "Much more sporting than lining up people in a locked room, isn't it."
"It's disturbing that I found that kind of sexy," he said.
"You really don't have a chance in hell," I said.
"I'm not trying." He held his hands up. "Honestly, I understand, but the brethren don't. I find you attractive, and Aro knows it. They've decided that you could be a viable match for me."
"Is that why you're here? A little bonding with a potential mate? Maybe a quick romp in the woods will make me see the error of my ways?" I batted my eyelashes at him in jest.
"No, I'm the only one who has a chance at containing you if you decide to attack or to flee," he explained. Perhaps Marcus wasn't trying to play matchmaker. I'd read the situation wrong again. "But if you want a romp in the woods …"
I glared at him.
"Or we could just go back to the castle. Practice starts in an hour for the upper guard. Marcus will want to watch you in action." He offered me his arm and I rejected it, opting instead to follow the trail we'd left back to the tunnel. There was no way that I was going to touch Felix in any capacity other than sparring.
End note:
Thanks for reading, and thanks to the lovely ladies I WC'd with this week.
