EDIE BRITT

House went out to the waiting room. He took a file from the nurses station. "Britt," he called out, "Edie." A tall, scantily clad buxom blond sauntered over. "I'm Edie Britt," she said, extending a hand.

"Uh, right, follow me." House was finding it hard to speak. She was practically falling out of her low cut, tightly fitting top. He thought Dr. Cuddy might have something similar. She should wear it more often. He smiled.

House shut the exam room door and turned around. Edie was already unbuttoning her top. House didn't try to stop her. He could easily have examined her with it on, but this was so much better.

"Dr." Edie tossed the shirt on the bed. "It hurts, right here." As she spoke, she slid her finger between her cleavage and looked at him innocently.

House felt his leg twitch. "Right, I'd better check your heartbeat then. On the bed." He motioned for her to sit down. She hopped onto the bed and smiled.

He started blowing on the end of a stethoscope, trying to warm it up. When he was done, he pressed it carefully to her exposed flesh.

She let out a little giggle as her body shook in all the right places. "That's cold!" She giggled.

"Sorry about that. Let me warm it up some more." House was about to blow on it again, but Edie took his hand and moved it toward her mouth. "Let me," she purred.

She blew hot breath on his hand. Her breath was warm and damp. House felt a tightening in his nether region. He quickly pulled his hand away before things got carried away.

He checked her heartbeat without difficulty. "Sound good."

"I can think of something else that sounds good." Edie was leaning forward, her arms pressing her breasts even closer together. They were straining to stay in the lacy black bra.

"I bet you can." House hadn't come across a woman this aggressive in a long time. Usually he was all sexual innuendo, but this woman scared him a little, but in a good way.

"Now I have to take your temperature. Open wide."

"Just don't shove it in too hard." Edie responded, then shut her eyes and opened her mouth wide.

House felt that tingling sensation again. Down boy, he thought to himself. Trying to take his mind off the sexy woman in front of him, he started picturing dead kittens. It wasn't working. Now Vogler was playing with the dead kittens. That did it.

He removed the thermometer from her mouth, and she shut it, licking her lips seductively when she did. "Will I live?" She asked.

"There seems to be nothing wrong with you." House was certain she had only come in to mess with him. For a moment he thought of asking her if Dr. Cuddy had hired her to torment him, but he figured she wouldn't tell him if it was true.

"Maybe you should do a full body scan." She laid back in the bed.

"Oh," House said, now having to picture Vogler in a Speedo to keep his pants from tightening anymore. "I don't think that will be necessary."

Suddenly, House felt something climbing up his leg. He looked down to see Edie's bare foot, sliding seductively toward his inner thigh. Oh God, he thought. "Don't you want to play doctor?" She said, winking.

"Um," House was speechless. He fumbled for his pager and punched his emergency code. Moments later, Dr. Wilson rushed in. He stopped cold at the scene. Edie was still shirtless, her foot was in House's crotch and House was motionless.

"You sent for help?" Edie asked, surprised, but eyeing the new doctor with great interests.

"I thought you might like a second opinion." House said, finally backing away from her.

Dr. Wilson was grinning like the Cheshire Cat. "I would be more than happy to do a consult."

Edie smiled at him. "I bet you would." House felt slightly like he had led a lamb to slaughter, but he had been desperate. It had been five years since a woman had touched him, and he felt that Edie Britt might be just a little too much woman for the job.

House excused him self, quietly enough to be sure they wouldn't hear him, and scuttled out the door. He heaved a great sigh of relieve when he realized he'd gotten away. Then he rushed to the bathroom to splash some cold water on his face.

When he returned from the bathroom, Dr. Wilson was escorting Edie out of the exam room. They both looked quiet pleased. Edie gave Dr. Wilson hug and a little peck on the cheek, and then shook his hand goodbye. House couldn't help but notice a small white slip of paper pass from her hand to his under cover of the handshake. Her number, House thought. He felt a slight pang of regret. That could have been him, getting the hot chicks number.

Wilson walked over and gave House a big smile and a pat on the back. "I owe you, big!"

Dr. Cuddy looked over and saw the two men just standing around. "Get back to work you two." She bellowed.