"Lily, what on earth are you doing here?" hissed Petunia.
I was struck by how similar her reaction was to mine just a week previously when Severus had turned up on my doorstep.
"I…I'm sorry. Something's happened – I needed to get away and I didn't know where else to go."
Petunia pursed her lips and looked us up and down. "Have you been hurt?"
"No," I answered quickly. "Nothing like that."
Petunia was standing in the hall, with the door open only as much as necessary. "Well it's very rude to just turn up without warning. Don't you have friends? Doesn't your kind have such a thing as a hotel?"
I looked down for a moment and scuffed my foot on the ground. "That's the thing… I wanted to get away from 'my kind.' I'd have gone to a hotel but I don't have any mug…money."
"No money?" Petunia scoffed.
"No pounds," I corrected. "I'll change my money when the shops open tomorrow."
Petunia looked unimpressed. She glanced around furtively at the houses on either side.
I sighed. "Look, this was a stupid idea – I don't know what I was thinking. Sorry to bother you. We'll go find a shelter or something." I turned and walked slowly back down the path. Was I really surprised? What did I think would happen – Petunia would welcome us with open arms? I internally berated myself. So stupid. Now where would we go?
"Lily wait."
I paused and hesitantly faced my sister. She was still standing in the doorway, looking torn. "One night. That's it. Vernon gets back tomorrow and there must be no trace that you were here."
"Thank you." I said softly.
"Hmph." She stepped back to let us in, and then closed the door quickly behind us.
"Where is Vernon?" I ventured.
"Business trip." she replied shortly. "I'll have to make up the spare bed."
"That's ok – just show me where the sheets are and I'll do it."
Petunia went to make her way up the staircase.
"This is your nephew Harry, by the way."
Harry peeked at her shyly, his head tucked close to my neck.
"Hmph," she said again, giving him a cursory look. "Very untidy hair."
I bit back a rude retort and followed her upstairs.
"Dudley is already asleep, so don't make any noise." She passed me an armful of linen and gestured us towards the spare bedroom. "The bathroom is on the right."
I smiled weakly. "Thanks Tuney. Goodnight."
She inclined her head stiffly and entered her own room, shutting the door swiftly behind her.
"Alrighty then." I tore my eyes away from Petunia's closed door and nudged open the door to the guest bedroom. It was a small, sparse room, and meticulously clean. "Well Harry, how about you pick out a bedtime story while mum makes the bed."
After Harry had fallen asleep, I lay awake for a while, listening to him breathe beside me. I certainly wouldn't be hanging around the next day – the feeling was mutual there. I had no doubts that if Vernon had been home then Petunia would have sent us on our way. I should be thankful for small miracles I guess.
I startled awake the next morning at the sound of a toddler bawling. After a second I realised Harry was still sleeping peacefully beside me and I remembered where we were.
I heard Petunia's voice clearly through the thin walls.
"There's my little Duddeykins!" she cooed loudly. "Oh, my poor little Dinkey Duddey, have you got a dirty nappy-poo?"
I rolled my eyes and tried to edge out of bed without waking Harry. Unfortunately he did wake, and promptly began to cry at finding himself somewhere strange. I laid back down and cuddled him close.
"Shhh, it's ok Harry. Mama's here."
After settling Harry I peered out the window. It was a dull, grey, miserable morning. Great – exactly fitting with my mood.
I lingered in the bedroom, making the bed and packing up our few belongings while I listened to Petunia and Dudley's movements. Only once they'd gone downstairs did I venture into the bathroom. I told myself it wasn't cowardly, just polite.
I descended the stairs carrying Harry on my hip and deposited our bag by the front door, before emerging into the kitchen. You never knew when you might need to make a hasty exit. Dudley was sitting in his high chair, banging his spoon impatiently, while Petunia was busy stirring a pot on the stove.
"Good morning Petunia." I greeted her formally.
She half turned towards us. "Morning. I trust you slept well."
"Yes thank you, very well." There was an awkward silence. I cleared my throat softly. "Anything I can help you with?"
"No, thank you," she replied stiffly. "I'm making porridge, but there is cereal or toast if you'd prefer that."
"Porridge is perfect, thanks." I hesitantly seated myself at the table, moving Harry onto my lap.
"Hello Dudley - I'm your Aunty Lily." I gave him a friendly smile. "And this is your cousin Harry."
Dudley continued to drum his spoon on his high chair, watching us intently.
"Harry, this is Dudley. Can you say 'Dudley'?" Harry shyly mumbled something that might have started with D. "How about you Dudley, can you say 'Harry'?"
"Shan't!" yelled Dudley.
"Oh, that's ok," I replied, taken aback.
"That's his favourite word." Petunia informed me.
"That's nice."
Breakfast was a terse, awkward affair. Dudley threw a tantrum, flinging porridge around the room, while Harry and I watched on wide-eyed.
"He must have reached the 'Terrible Twos' early," I joked, which was met with stony-faced silence by Petunia.
After breakfast, Petunia turned on the TV and settled Dudley in front of it. Harry gravitated over, watching the TV with fascination and sat down beside Dudley. I smiled to see the two little cousins sitting together - one small child with wild dark hair, and the other chubby with neat blonde hair.
I helped Petunia in the kitchen, silently drying the dishes that she washed. I fished around for something to say, something that we might have in common.
"So, have you had any morning sickness? I had it quite bad – it's only in the last week really that…" I trailed off. Petunia had suddenly frozen and was staring out of the window. "Tuney? Did I say something…?"
She spoke so quietly that I nearly didn't hear her. "I lost the baby."
"No!" I breathed, aghast. "Oh Tuney, I'm so sorry!" I moved to hug her, but she tensed up and I let my arm drop awkwardly to my side. "God Tuney, that's awful. I couldn't even imagine…"
A single tear coursed down her cheek. "It happened two weeks ago. I found out just before we were about to announce it to our friends."
Tentatively I touched her arm. She stiffened, but didn't move away.
"I'm so sorry Tuney – here I am just turning up out of the blue, all self absorbed with my own problems… I had no idea…."
Her tears were coming faster now. I looked around hastily for a box of tissues. Failing that, I hugged her properly. She passively let me do it and then pulled away. She fished a handkerchief out of her pocket and composed herself. "Yes, well. It always was just about you."
"Excuse me?"
"Growing up I mean - it was always 'Lily this', and 'Lily that'. Not surprising that you'd only think of yourself."
I was speechless for a few seconds. "Petunia – how was I to know! All I was thinking was that you're my sister and I had no-where else to go!"
She rounded on me. "But you know how Vernon and I feel about your lot! Turning up here… exposing Dudley to your…strangeness!"
"It's not bloody contagious!"
She ignored me and continued. "And now I'll have to tell Vernon you were here, because Dudley will be babbling about 'Harry' and 'Lily.'"
"Well, why did you let me stay then?"
Petunia glared at me. "I don't know. Must have had a momentary brain snap."
I scowled back at her. "Well, we'll be on our way then, before Dudley starts pulling rabbits out of hats." I turned on my heel and marched into the living room. No one else could make me as angry as what my sister could.
As I entered the living room I halted, bemused by what I saw. Harry had found a broom somewhere and was straddling it. He repeatedly squatted and then straightened, a frustrated look on his face as he tried to make it take off. "Boom, boom!" he exclaimed.
"Oh, um… that's not your broom Harry. That one doesn't work." I hurried over and grabbed his hand, disentangling him from the broom. "Leave it Harry, we're going now." I hurried past Petunia, pulling a howling Harry along with me. If I wasn't so mortified I would have burst into laughter at the horrified expression on her face. We sped out the front door, and lacking a better plan I started to walk up the street.
After walking for about twenty minutes we arrived at a smattering of shops. I'd picked the busier-looking street at each main intersection, and was pleasantly warm after our walk. Harry had calmed down, and I'd carried him most of the way. I was sorely tempted to transfigure a pram or even cast a lightweight charm on him, but I didn't want to risk being caught with my wand out, what with all the muggles driving or walking past. We walked a little further and I was pleased to spy a pawnshop. A little bell tingled as we entered the dingy interior. A greying man peered at us from the counter. "Can I help you?" he enquired.
"Ah yes. My erm, great-uncle passed, and we found these amongst his possessions." I spread a handful of gold galleons on the counter. "He was a sailor – he travelled all over and must have brought these back." We haggled for a short time, until I left the shop with just under £120.
We next went to a small corner shop to stock up on essentials such as nappies and snacks, before following the kindly storekeeper's directions to a little Bed and Breakfast. With relief I deposited my load and sprawled out on the bed. Freedom! I couldn't believe it – I'd walked all over, been to two different shops, and no one knew who I was! No pointing after us, no whispers, no photos! It was glorious.
I thought back on my morning. Petunia's tragedy had really put everything into perspective for me. I didn't know what I would do if I lost my baby. Tears sprung to my eyes. I had a lot to be thankful for really. I started to plan out the rest of our day. I'd walked past a café close by – we might go out for lunch. I was a bit sick of walking, so after that we might go and see a movie – so many possibilities! I might stay a muggle for a while longer – it certainly had some advantages.
