Here's chapter 11! It's a bit shorter than the last ones but I didn't want to keep you waiting. Thank you so much to everyone who reads my story. I've passed 8000 hits and that's all thanks to you. Please those who review keep doing it, those who don't, you know what they say: It's never too late to start. Please review! My dad found me if he remembers this in the morning... Review and show me it was worth to get caught.
Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns all the characters except Luke and the twins.
Chapter 11
Edward's POV
Today when I was seated in my room's window bench, watching the sun raising I thought about how blessed I was, how much I have. And I realized Bella had been the one to give me everything that makes me truly happy. She passed through the walls I had raised to keep everyone away from me, knocking them down. She always saw the best in me. I will never be able to thank her enough for all she did for me. For what she keeps doing. She brought me back to live, she loved me, she showed me why people devote their entire lives seeking their true love. I didn't believe in that kind of love until I found her. I never thought such a strong feeling could exist. Actually I knew, I saw it between Esme and Carlisle, Alice and Jasper, even Rosalie and Emmet. I just never imagined it would happen to me. I underestimated her feelings and she proved me wrong. I broke her heart and she still defends me. She's unique. She faced dead because of me, yet her only fear was losing me. I let her down. She gave me so much and I let her down. God! She offered me more than I thought was possible.
Bella is everything. She's my everything. I know I can't live without her. I also know I don't deserve her but I'm going to win her back. I'll spend the rest of my existence trying to make it up to her. It will never be enough but at least I will try.
It was the first time I saw the sun raise since I left Bella. Maybe because it represented my life now. Bella was my sun, the light. She keeps the darkness away. Now that she was back, I would do everything I could to make her stay, to make the day last forever because I know that if she's by my side there will never be another night in my life.
I couldn't wait for the afternoon. Bella would bring the kids again. Even though I know they don't like me because of what I did to Bella I was eager to see them. Somehow I knew today would be better. Maybe someday they will fully accept me. I understand it's hard for them and they need space. I know I have to earn their trust and I'll do it, even if it's the last thing I do.
I had been right. Today was better. Elizabeth actually talked to me. I was so thrilled I could barely answer. She wanted to know if I could read their mind. Unfortunately I can't. It's ironic. The minds I wish I could read are the only ones I can't. When I answered I saw the relief in hers and Lillian's face. Lucas taught Jasper a trick that helped him to defeat Emmet. I was so happy the kids were starting to get along with us.
At that moment Bella received a call. The things I heard shocked me. I had no idea people treated Bella so badly. She didn't deserve; she was the most kind and loving person I knew. Then the grandmother of the kids' classmate came to the phone and said all the man in town were interested in Bella… I didn't doubt it but Bella is mine. I had to talk to her. I had to tell her as soon as possible what I really felt for her.
When the kids went outside we followed and after Bella talk to me and Carlisle about the kids I decided it was the time to tell her the truth. I led her to a small bench next to a tree and started.
"Look Bella, first I want to apologize for all the pain that I put you through and to say that I'm truly sorry. I never regretted anything in my life like I regret leaving you." I think it was a good way to start. I had to let her know how much I regretted the decision I had made back then. She seemed shocked and tried to talk but I couldn't let her. If she stopped me I would lose my courage. I couldn't delay this anymore. "Don't! Let me finish before I lose my courage. I love you Bella, I never stopped loving you, and all I want is…"
"No. Stop Edward. I understand that you're confused with all that happened and I think you are mixing everything up. You're just afraid that after Luke help his friend we will leave again but I assure you that I'll do everything in my power so that you can keep seeing them. I want you to be present in their lives. So don't worry. You don't have to stay with me just so that you can be with your kids." What was she saying? Why didn't she believe me? She had to believe in me! I need her! I can't be away from her!
"No Bella you don't understand, I'm not confused, I want to…" I'm not confused. I never was so sure of anything before. I love her. I love Bella! She needs to know. Unfortunately Lucas came and took Bella.
"Mommy c'mon you have to see what we are doing." He grabbed her hand and she went with him. I stayed seated in the bench watching her leave. What if she never believed me? What if I couldn't convince her that I love her? I can't stand another day without seeing her. Every time I touch her I feel complete and when I have to let her go it's like the place where her body touched mine is on fire. I was so lost in my thought that I did not notice Alice was by my side.
"I guess it didn't go very well." She stated.
"She didn't believe me. She says I'm confused. She thinks I just wanted to be close to the kids. I need her Alice. I have to make her believe me because I can't spend another day without her. It hurts not to have her near. Why doesn't she believe me?" I whispered. I couldn't avoid feeling desperate.
"It's going to be fine Edward. She's protecting herself. She just doesn't want to suffer more. It's not going to be easy. You know that. You have to keep trying. It doesn't matter how many times she tries to resist, you have to keep trying. You have to show her you won't give up Edward."
"But I can't understand! Why did she believe in me when I said I didn't love her five years ago but now she doesn't believe I lied?"
"You know Bella, Edward. She always thought she wasn't good enough for you. It was easier for her to believe when you said you didn't love her because, in her opinion, she's not worthy of you. She believes that she's not the right girl for you."
"But she is Alice. I'm the one who doesn't deserve her. Have you seen how perfect she is? She's gorgeous, smart, kind, loving. She's a wonderful mother. Right now, I don't care if I deserve her or not. I just know I need her here, by my side. I've been alone for years. I had you but all of you had someone and sometimes it was like if each couple was inside their little bubble. I wanted that for myself. I wanted to be as happy as everyone else. I wanted my other half. Now I could have that if only I wasn't so stupid. I could have more than that. Bella gave me three beautiful kids and I already lost five years of their life. I want them with me. I want my family with me."
"It's going to be okay. Bella can't hide her love for you. She will believe you. She won't be able to keep denying your feelings or hers for that matter. She will give in. She needs you too." Alice reassured me. "Let's join the others. Bella will leave soon. The kids are getting tired." Alice went to stand next to Jasper and I took my place next to Carlisle.
"They are fantastic Edward."
"They are. Absolutely amazing." I agreed.
"I see your talk with Bella didn't go very well."
"I didn't really had time to finish but no it didn't go very well. I don't know what to do. She doesn't believe me."
"She will son. You'll have your family with you soon. I know it. And what a wonderful family Edward. Esme is right, motherhood suits Bella. I'm sure you going to be a great father too." He said patting my shoulder. "Bella knows that too." I stared at him. How could he know that?
"She wouldn't let the kids meet you if she didn't think you'd be a good father. As she said she will always do what's best for them." He answered to my unspoken question.
After a while they started playing, rolling in the grass and getting all dirty, but they were having fun. Bella would have a hard time washing all that. They were laughing.
"Okay kids that's enough. I don't want to spend the night washing your clothes."
"You can ask Uncle Luke to do it." Lillian suggested.
"I don't think he'll like it either." Bella answered.
"I'm hungry mommy." Elizabeth complained.
"Wait a minute." Bella quickly went to her car and came back with a small white backpack. "Go wash your hands." She ordered them.
"Come I'll show you where the bathroom is." Esme offered. They looked at Bella, she nodded reassuringly and they followed Esme.
"Here" Bella said when they came back handing each one of them a yogurt and a spoon. They sat in the grass eating happily.
"Mommy can we eat chocolate ice cream after dinner?" Lillian asked. So they liked chocolate ice cream.
"I don't know…" Bella taunted.
"Please, please, please." They begged.
"We'll see…"
"But we were good and we behaved." Lucas reasoned.
"Maybe…" Bella caved.
"Yeah!" When they finished Alice went to wash the spoons.
"Will come again tomorrow?" Rosalie asked.
"I don't know." I panicked. Was it because of what I had said to her? "I was thinking about going to hunt tomorrow." She explained.
"Then why don't you leave them here while you go hunting?" Alice suggested. I saw Elizabeth grab Bella's hand harder. I think they don't like the idea.
"I don't think they would stay here alone. But maybe…" Bella trailed off.
"What?" Emmett asked animated.
"Maybe Luke could stay here with them. If you don't mind."
"Of course we don't mind! In fact we're quite anxious to meet him." Esme exclaimed. I think I want to meet him too. What I really want to do is thank him for everything he did for Bella and my kids. I also wanted what Bella didn't tell us. I know she hid things. She never talked about her pregnancy, for example.
"I'll talk to him then. I just hope he doesn't have to go to the hospital."
"Great!" Alice yelled. Elizabeth leaned against Bella's leg looking for support, so Bella picked her up. She placed her head on Bella's shoulder and immediately closed her eyes, drifting off. They must be really tired. While we spoke Lillian and Lucas had lie down in the grass and fallen asleep. Bella noticed and silently laughed.
"They always get tired after practicing their powers. Edward, can you help me to put them in the car?" She asked. I was so surprised.
"Of course." I wouldn't lose the chance to hold my kids. I carefully picked Lillian and Luke off the ground and hold them close to my chest. They were gorgeous. It felt so good to hold them.
I followed Bella to the car and waited while she put Elizabeth in her car seat. Then she took Lucas and did the same. While Bella placed Lucas in the car, Lillian leaned her head against my neck. I could fell her gentle and slow breaths. It reminded me of when I used to hold Bella, but at the same time was different. She looked so fragile and so beautiful. She was an exact copy of Bella. I passed her to Bella who accommodated her in her car seat. Carefully, not to wake the kids, Bella closed the car doors and turned to me.
"Thank you." It was all I could say but I knew she understood.
"I figured you would like to hold them. You never had the chance, when they were babies and now they don't let you get too close. But I'm sure that will change. They just need some more time." She looked sympathetically at me. I could also see guilt in her eyes.
"You don't know how much it meant to me Bella. And this is not your fault. These are the consequences of my mistakes and I have to deal with them. Anyway thank you for giving me this chance. I already loved them. I will not let them down. I will not let you down."
"You're welcome. They love you too. They can't help it. You're their father. I'll be going now. Tell everyone I said goodbye." Then she reached and planted a small kiss in my cheek. I was astounded. "See you tomorrow Edward." She got inside of the car and drove off.
I stood there for a while. I couldn't even describe how I was felling. Happy yet incomplete. Though I had hope. Maybe some day she would not have to leave. Maybe someday I would be able to hold my children when they were awake. Maybe someday they'll call me 'daddy'. Someday I will have my family with me. I know I will. It will be the happiest day of my life.
So what do you think? Let me know and review!If you have questions, ask away. I'm sorry if there is some mistakes but at 4am I'm already a bit sleepy. I have to go, if my dad tells my mom I'll be dead by tomorrow and you won't know what happens next and how the story ends... Though if you review maybe I can show her and say: See... all these people were waiting for an update. So don't forget to review. Hugs
