Author note: To Anon, I can't actually play ME1 because it's only available on PC and Xbox….I have a PS3, so I have to deal with ME2 and 3
By the way, Reviews make the heart sing and the fingers type…it's like crack for writers!
CHAPTER BREAK
Kaiden sat in the mess of the Normandy people watching. There was something to say about being the outsider in a deeply connected group. He watched as Dr. Chakwas laughed with the cook as he moved around the kitchen, cooking. Tali saw across the table from the psychotic tattooed woman, Jack, both laughing. Next to them, the Japanese Thief Kasumi sat alternating between flirting with the Cerberus soldier Jacob to her left and the Tali and Jack to her right. Jacob seemed more interested in his magazine than the conversation, but he did flirt back with the Thief. Kaiden couldn't help but smile, it was very interesting to watch. He's seen flirting, laughing, joking, stories and arguments from the crew and the team, and he had the unique placement outside the group, able to watch. He glanced up as the energy of the room changed and saw Shepard and Garrus walk in. Miranda Lawson was in deep conversation with Shepard, and Garrus walked with them, nodding and speaking to various people as he strode next to Shepard.
Kaiden felt the familiar sadness, if he had just been a little more trusting and supportive, that might have been him walking beside Shepard, fingers entwined. For a moment, he allowed himself the opportunity to fantasize, seeing he and Shepard in her quarters, laughing at some simple joke between them, looking down into her blue eyes and kissing her; walking into the mess and greeting people as they said "Yeah, Shepard and Kaiden, I wish I could find a love like that…."
Kaiden was surprised out of his fantasy by the feel of a lithe female body flopping down on the bench next to him. He glanced over and saw the ships Yeoman; what was her name? Cherry? Bella? No, Kelly, that was It, Kelly Chambers. He half turned to give her a half smile, "Good morning, Ms. Chambers, how are you?"
The petite redhead smiled at him and put her hand on his as she said, "I've been worried about you Kaiden…I know the entire situation must be difficult for you. It's really hard to love someone and see them in a new relationship and very happy"
Kaiden couldn't help throwing a look at Shepard, who was still talking to Lawson, but was now leaning back against Garrus' with his hands on her hips. Kaiden couldn't help a sigh as he turned back to Kelly Chambers with her too observant eyes and chirpy personality. Kelly squeezed his hand, meeting his eyes, she smiled at him and said, "You know that I'm a the ships councilor, right? Well, part of my duties are to watch out for the crew and help if I could. So I want to extend an invitation to you. If you need anything, to talk or whatever, I am more than willing to be there for you. All you have to do is ask."
Kaiden watched at Kelly Chamber, who met his eyes boldly, smiling. He couldn't help but think that this was a lot more than a Councilor offering talk therapy. He shifted a bit nervously and tried to come up with something to say that wouldn't hurt he very friendly woman's feelings, but not give the impression he was considering her offer. But he didn't get a chance, with another squeeze of his hand, she stood back up, her thigh rubbing against his, and walked away, her hips swaying suggestively.
Kaiden must have looked as shell shocked as he felt, because a moment later, another person dropped onto the bench, this time across from him. He looked over and saw the old Merc, Zaeed , who grinned at him. Before Kaiden could say anything, the Merc shoved a forkful of his dinner in his mouth and said, "If you're thinkin of takin her up on her offer, go for it…not like most of the rest of the crew hasn't….." Kaiden started, he wasn't quite sure what to say, but was saved from more than hearing the Merc's laughter as Shepard sat down next to him, setting her tray down and sighing as she glanced over at Kaiden,
"Hey Kaiden…you doing ok?"
Kaiden tried not to look at relieved as he felt, but turned to her with a smile that he hoped was friendly, but not TOO friendly, "Yea…I'm…good Shepard. I'm just, I guess I'm at loose ends."
Shepard nodded, glancing over her shoulder and smiling as Garrus set his tray down and sat on her other side. Garrus nodded to him, not exactly friendly, but certainly not with the animosity that he'd shown up until now. Miranda Lawson set her own tray down across from them, sitting beside the old Merc and saying, casting a questioning glance at Kaiden, "Shepard, do you want to continue the discussion, or…?"
Shepard nodded, "No secret, Miranda…I really do appreciate your help on this. You're a lot better at this than I am…"
Miranda nodded, "It's not a problem, Shepard, I'm happy to help. I know that you're", another glance at Kaiden, "concerned about the situation and if I can help with this, I'm more than willing to do so."
Shepard swallowed her food and glanced at Kaiden, who must have looked as confused as he felt because she said, "I've asked Miranda to help me write up my "plea" for the trial. I'm just a soldier and I have NO idea even where to start….that sort of political double speak is just beyond me…."
Garrus smiled, quipping, "Definitely not, you've got a lot of talents, Shepard, but being politically correct isn't one of them…", Shepard gave Garrus a mock glare and bounced her shoulder off his. He grinned and bounced her back, then reached over and took her hand, as if it was the most natural thing in the world. Smiling, Shepard wrapped her fingers around Garrus talons and they both simply went on, Garrus to a conversation with Tali, who came to sit beside them and Shepard to he and Lawson.
Commander…you ready to put your pretty face where your mouth is?", Zaeed, belched loudly and pushed his empty tray away, "since you chickened out last time in the sparring, I figure you and Vakarian gonna want to throw down and show us how it's done…."
Shepard grinned at the Zaeed and said, "I didn't chicken out, " she ignored the snort of disbelief and went on, " I had my daily dose of hand to hand on the mission. But yea, if Garrus is game, I'm ready to kick his ass…"
Garrus gave what Kaiden could only think was the Turian version of a grin, "If we can figure it commander, the yeah, definitely".
Shepard nearly snorted her coffee out her nose, coughing. Kaiden glanced from one to the other, and then at their tablemates, thankful that he wasn't the only one in the dark on this one. Shepard actually hit Garrus this time, hard enough to make him oomph and sway, nearly into Tali. Garrus turned and "grinned" at her again and Shepard shook her head, but Kaiden noticed a smile on her face.
A few minutes later, Shepard turned to Kaiden and said, "Kaiden…I get that this is probably not the most comfortable posting for you, but I appreciate that it's you here instead of someone else…", Garrus snorted behind her in derision, but Shepard ignored him, "And I know what it's like to be on a mission you don't want and have a lot of downtime…"
Kaiden shook his head, interrupting her, "Shepard, I specifically requested this mission…", he didn't tell her that he'd had to fight layers of burocratic bullshit to get it.
Shepard started, "Really? I just figured they'd tapped you for it…"
Kaiden gave her a look of reproach, "Shepard, you're my friend and I wanted to make sure you got a fair shake…some other Spectre might not give that to you. Some of the others would have tried taking control the minute you said you weren't handing the Normandy over to the Alliance…"
Zaeed snorted, "I'd like ta see em try that aboard this ship…", Miranda even smiled at that thought, but Kaiden frowned and went on, not wanting to think about what might have happened.
"Anyway, you're right that I hate not having anything to do. I offered to help around the ship, but most of the crew seems to feel better if I just stay out of the way."
Shepard nodded, thinking hard. An old saying from her mom ran through her head, Idle hands are the devils playground While she was loath to let Kaiden near any important information, there was a lot to do to fix the damage on the Normandy and Kaiden was very good with Tech. Cocking her head to the side, she glanced at Garrus, who was in a conversation with Jacob, who was standing beside him. She shifted slightly, touching her thigh to him and he sighed, looking over at her and nodding, making her smile. "Ok, Kaiden…tell you what, if you're willing to follow chain of command on the Normandy, I don't see why you shouldn't be considered part of the crew for the duration of your stay…unfortunately, that means you're probably going to be working your ass off. There is a LOT of damage from the Collectors and the trip through the Relay."
Kaiden blinked a minute, that was unexpected. He'd been pretty much convinced that he was going to be treated like an interloper by everyone until the end of his stay. Slowly, he nodded, "Chain of command is no problem, Commander…where do I report for duty?"
Shepard nodded to Miranda, "Miranda's been handling personnel coordination…get with her after mess and she'll assign you to a team." Turning, she fixed Kaiden with her "I'm Commander Fucking Shepard and you WILL obey me" face and said, "I trust that you understand, Major, that we're extending quite a bit of trust here…and that you won't do anything to prove us wrong?"
Kaiden sat up straighter by habit, he didn't quite salute, but he felt like it as he said, "Yes Commander…I understand."
Shepard nodded, then turned to her meal.
CHAPTER BREAK CHAPTERBREAK CHAPTERBREAK CHAPTERBREAK
After mess, Kaiden did as Shepard said and reported to the ex-Cerberus operative, Lawson for duty assignment. She smiled at him and he couldn't help but feel a little un-nerved; there was something off putting about the woman. But she was nothing if not professional as she said, "I think the best use of our reportedly considerable talents will be working with Jacob Taylor and his crew. Jacob and his crew are meeting up in the Armory, which is off CIC. I've already told him to expect you."
Kaiden nodded and ignored the feeling that he needed to salute. As he turned to walk away, Miranda's voice spoke softly, " And Major Alenko? If I find so much as a hint that you're doing anything that might negatively affect this ship or her Commander…I'll make very sure that you regret it for the rest of your very short life. Do we understand each other?" Kaiden glanced back at her and found that half smile/smirk on her face and simply nodded. There really wasn't that much else to say.
Almost ten hours later, Kaiden stumbled into the crew quarters and collapsed on his bunk. He was exhausted, but set his chrono anyway for half hour before his next shift, then hesitated and changed it for an hour before. He lay there, half asleep, but not able to completely fall asleep. And he knew why; ten hours of pretty hard work and he was exhausted, but his mind was racing. Sighing, he got up and nodded to the few crew members that were still awake as he headed out to the men's bathroom and the shower.
After his shower, he felt a bit more human, so he ended up in the mess. Lucky for him, thanks to round the clock shifts, there was always something to eat, even if it was cold. He grabbed a cup of thankfully hot coffee and something that looked remarkably like a Danish, double checking that it was in the "LEVO" box, and moved to sit down. The mess was mostly empty, a few stragglers, like him, who couldn't sleep either before or after their shifts sat around, but it was blessedly quiet and still.
He chewed his food and took a drink of coffee and sighed, Cerberus might be a disgusting terrorist group, but their cooks were great. A sound caught his ear and he looked up, seeing Garrus leaving the Main Battery. Kaiden had a momentary flash back to the first Normandy and the talks that he and Garrus used to have in quiet times like these, sitting around that mess after their shifts when both were too keyed up to sleep. Caught in that revere, he raised a hand and waved Garrus over, smiling at him. Garrus hesitated, then rubbed his neck and waved back, going to the mess kitchen and helping himself to something to eat and drink. Garrus seemed more than a little hesitant as he walked over and sat down opposite Kaiden and said softly,
"Hey Kaiden…how did the shift go?"
Kaiden rolled his shoulders, grinning a little as he said, "I remembered why I hate repair work".
Garrus chuckled, sipping his…whatever it was that passed for coffee to the Turian, and nodded, "Yeah, it sucks, doesn't it? I thought becoming higher in rank meant LESS crawling through the bowels of the ship…boy was I wrong…at least on Shepard's ship".
Kaiden chuckled too, "Yeah, Jacob had me in the access panel under the com room. I don't think anyone has been I that access since they built this ship". The two men shared a laugh and then both were quiet, as they ate their respective snacks. Garrus finished his food and said,
"So…what do you think of Jacob?"
Kaiden made a considering expression, then said, "He seems like a good man…he knows what he's doing and he's not afraid to get in the trenches with his people to get the work done. Like most of the them, he's a little unsure of me, but at least he's willing to give me a chance."
Garrus noticed that Kaiden had seemed put himself and Garrus in the same "group", and grinned. Garrus remembered some of their conversations on the first Normandy. He'd considered Kaiden a comrade, if not exactly a friend. "Yeah, Jacob is a good man in a fight too…a little idealistic, but he'll grow out of that."
Kaiden nodded, "Yeah, too bad he left the Alliance…he could have gone far if he'd stuck it out…" Kaiden realized what he'd said as he said it and cursed to himself. He glanced at Garrus and saw the irritation cross Garrus face, but the Turian calmed his expression before shrugging a bit and saying,
"The Alliance isn't for everyone, Kaiden…Jacob can do a lot of good on his own…but I agree the Alliance is poorer for losing him"
Kaiden was thankful that the Turian had let his fuck up go and said, "You look like you've been working straight through…."
Garrus nodded, rubbing a grimy hand on his neck as he said, "Yeah, since just after mess. Collectors did quite a bit of damage, I've been working with Tali to get it straightened out. Speaking of which, I need to get Shepard to make sure that girl gets some rest. I don't think she's slept more than two hours for the last three weeks."
Kaiden shook his head, "Tali is devoted. To her own detriment at times. I miss talking to her…"
Garrus nodded, "Give it time, Kaiden…Tali and most of the rest are very protective of Shepard…they'll come around once they realize you're not going to hurt her again…"
Kaiden sighed, "I didn't mean to hurt her in the first place…you know that, right?"
Garrus sighed as well, he really didn't want to talk about this, but he had once considered Kaiden a good friend, and while he still couldn't forget or forgive what Kaiden had done to Shepard, he could see that it hadn't been intentionally hurtful; just Kaiden being the person he was. So he gave a bit, "I know Kaiden…"
There was another long silence as Kaiden finished his coffee and gazed into the empty cup, looking up he saw Garrus was doing the same thing, though in the Turian's case, he seemed more interested in his own talon than the cup. Looking for something to say, Kaiden finally managed, "So…you done with your shift?"
Garrus nodded, glancing at Kaiden, considering what to say. Finally he decided that if Kaiden really wanted to be friends, then he'd oblige him. "Yeah, finally. Had to rewire half the system overrides just to keep the damn shut offs calibrated. I'm absolutely exhausted, and I feel like I've been rolling in Krogen piss."
Kaiden was very glad he wasn't drinking anything, because he choked as it was, any liquid in his mouth would have given Garrus a shower. Coughing, he glanced at Garrus and saw what he'd learned a long time ago to recognize as a Turian grin. "Krogen piss? Garrus, do I want to know how you know anything about Krogen piss?"
Garrus chuckled and said, "Have you met our baby Krogen?"
Kaiden couldn't figure out if Garrus was pulling his leg, but he went along anyway, it felt good to joke and laugh. "I thought Grunt was more like a teen than a baby…"
Mandibles wide, Garrus watched Kaiden, his eyes sharp as he said, "They grow up so fast…."
Kaiden started at Garrus, still trying to figure out if he was kidding or serious, but he couldn't hold off the mental images and made a moan, his imagination running overtime with image of Grunt, smaller in a diaper with Garrus and Shepard burping him. Kaiden shivered, trying to force the images of changing a baby Krogens diaper out of his head. He glanced over at Garrus and muttered "asshole" as he saw the smirk on the Turian's features. Kaiden said, "So if you're so tired what are you doing sitting here looking into an empty coffee cup?"
Garrus gave a tired chuckled, and spoke without really thinking who he was talking too, "Waiting on Shepard…she's been mining for the last nine hours or so, trying to get enough money to finish fixing the Normandy. She'll come down here looking for me before she goes up to the cabin and I'll be able to convince her to eat something. She's been subsisting on cold coffee and stubbornness for nine hours, getting her to eat something is part of my…"
Garrus hesitated, for just a few minutes, he'd forgotten who he was talking too; he'd been talking to the man like he would any other good friend, and had not thought how it might bother the man to hear. Garrus looked at Kaiden, who was staring morosely into his cup again. Garrus sighed, this was more difficult than he'd thought it would be.
Kaiden looked up and said, "so when do you think Shepard will be down?"
Garrus shrugged, but before he could answer, the elevator doors opened and Garrus quipped, "Right about now…"
Shepard walked around the corner from the elevator and looked into the mess, pausing as she saw Garrus and Kaiden sitting together, obviously talking. She honestly didn't want to make Kaiden feel any worse than he did now, but she was tired and really just wanted to grab Garrus and go to their quarters. She knew, however, that Garrus was going to insist that she eat something. She sighed and walked over to the table as Garrus got up and headed for the kitchen, putting some of the Danish on a place and pouring her a cup of coffee adding copious amounts of milk and sugar before filling his own cup and carrying everything over to the table.
Garrus set the food and coffee down on the table and gestured for Shepard to sit next to his seat, across from Kaiden. Shaking her head, but smiling, Shepard sat down and began to pick at her food, after taking a drink of her coffee. Garrus sat next to Shepard, drinking his own beverage, but saying nothing. Shepard smirked, looking across at Kaiden as she said, "He thinks I don't eat enough. Either that or he just wants me to gain weight."
Garrus smirked, "You gain too much weight you won't fit in the nest, Shepard. Not to mention your armor." Shepard elbowed him, her mouth full of Danish. Garrus smirked some more and Kaiden chuckled. No matter how else he felt, he could see the strength of the relationship between Shepard and Garrus. Maybe, Kaiden thought, just maybe Garrus really was the one she needed…
The three old friends sat while Shepard finished her impromptu meal, then Kaiden stood up, stretching and said, "Ok guys…I'm heading to bed. Tomorrow's going to get here too damn soon…you two have a good night." Kaiden walked his cup and plate to the kitchen, putting them in the dish sanitizer before heading to his bunk, giving Garrus and Shepard a wave.
Garrus looked over at Shepard, who was nearly falling asleep in her empty coffee cup. Chuckling, Garrus stood and gathered the cups and plate and put them in the sanitizer before walking back to Shepard, who had laid her head down on her folded arms. He took her shoulders gently, pulled her to her feet and said, "Ok amica, time to head to our nest…you're falling asleep on me…"
Shepard smiled, "Sounds like a plan, big guy…."
Together then walked to the elevator, Shepard rested her head on his chest, one of her arm around his waist as they rode up to their cabin. Once they got to the loft, Garrus left his arm around her shoulders and guided her to their cabin and their very inviting nest.
