Hellllllo! This is a Zemyx/Dexion (i prefer calling it Zemyx) pairing story. Chaptero doce! ^_^


Zexion's POV

Was it wrong to be jealous? Or to be depressed? I didn't know. But after nearly two weeks I was near the breaking point. Seeing Melody and Demyx, kissing and smiling at each other. And laughing with their friends. What did I do? I wondered. Staring across the classroom and seeing the two not paying attention to the teacher and whispering things to each other. Laughing silently every once in a while.

I could hardly stand it. What could I do to make this nightmare end? I wondered. Hoping for something... anything. The bell started to ring and everyone quickly left the room. But I left, more slowly. It wasn't like I needed to rush for anything. "Zexion, man, you need to relax!" I heard Axel say, laughing. "He's right, you look half dead." Xion agreed, and stepped in front of me. "Because I am." I muttered, leaning against a wall and staring at the ceiling.

"Hey! You used to be depressed in dark corners, not in the public. What's gotten into you?" Axel joked. "Stop it you're only going to make it worse!" Xion sneered. "Nothing could make it worse." I protested, looking at Xion. "How about that?" Axel asked, pointing. I looked and saw Melody and Demyx practically all over each other. "Axel what the hell!" Xion punched Axel in the face.

"No, no it's fine. Peachy." Was all I could manage to spit out before dashing into the bathroom and begin to hyperventilate. What did I do? What did I do? I panicked in my head and started to feel sick. Oh god I feel like crap. And with that thought I vomited into the trashcan. "Gross." Axel said as he walked in and smelled the trashcan. "Kill me now." I muttered, slumping onto the floor.

"No, don't go all suicidal on us. Not until after high school." Axel joked again. I slowly got to my feet, "Now would be so much more convenient." I sighed and walked out of the bathroom. "Hey why don't you let Namine's sister drive you home or something?" Xion asked, noticing the smell from the bathroom, and how pathetic I probably looked. "No." I answered reluctantly.

And as I walked home, feeling dizzy and ready to vomit again any second, I saw Melody and Demyx again. She looked like such a slut, clinging onto Demyx's shirt like a lost puppy. "Tomorrow night, okay?" I heard melody practically squeal as she parted from Demyx to go down a different street.

Demyx looked over, and out eyes met for merely a second as I turned the corner onto my own street. "Zexion! Zexion, wait!" I heard Demyx yelling, and he finally caught up with me. "No Demyx, just leave me alone." I pushed him away from me and continued walking. "Zexion I don't know what to say to you!" Demyx protested, following. "No Demyx. Just leave me alone. I can't live with it. You and her are just something I know I couldn't even think to have with you." I whispered, not stopping for a moment.

"Okay but why do you have to... suffer? I don't want to see you like this, Zexy. It's-" "You can't say that to me, anymore. Got it? When we were fourteen I let you call me that. Even though I didn't like the nickname. Now you just can't talk to me and call me by that. And I'm sorry, that I was gone. And I'm sorry that you were upset. And I'm sorry, that you had to fall for her. But I can't let you talk to me." I continued.

"I can't let you make it seem like we're friends at the least. Because we're not. Melody doesn't like it when you talk to me, and neither do I! You love her, and I get that. You didn't wait, and I'm fine with that. But take your whole new life, and leave me out of it! And stay out of mine. Goodbye Demyx." I finished, giving him one single look and ignoring everything else he was saying.

"Zexion! Zexion please! ZEXION!" Demyx yelled, and I could tell he was crying. And it only made me feel worse. But I didn't stop to speak with him. I didn't stop for the cars when I crossed the street. I just kept walking, until I was in my house. Where I didn't have to deal with his face or crying, or his voice that I loved.

"You didn't walk your sister to her bus stop!" My mother screamed as soon as I walked in the door. "Mom, I have to walk to school and she gets up a whole fifteen minutes later than me. I couldn't wait that long for her to get up." I protested. "Why can't you be a normal teenager? Why can't you be straight?" My mother shook her head and stormed into the basement.

"Mom!" I gasped, feeling another knot in my throat. "Mom? Mom I wish I could be!" I yelled down the stairs, hearing my voice crack slightly. My step sister just happened to be hiding on the stairs while the small spat had occurred. "You're gay?" Serena asked in awe. "Yeah, I am. Mom doesn't like it. So just don't bring it up!" I said, walking up the stairs.

"You never told me before!" Serena gasped, running up the stairs and reaching the top before me. "Because I never wanted you to know." I answered, nudging her aside and continuing down the hall. "Why not? I'm old enough to know these things." She complained. "Mom didn't want you to know!" I snapped. "Why not?" "Because she hates me!" I yelled at her.

"She used to love me like a mother should love her son! But she found out I was gay and she ignored me for the rest of my life! She never asked what I wanted for dinner or if I needed new clothes or if I was doing okay in school! And my real father would hit me if I asked him why they didn't like me anymore! And then I got a boyfriend, and they hated him and me both even more! So we had to move!" I ranted.

Serena looked shocked, but I went on anyways. "And when we moved I was in the worst school because everyone hated me because I was gay, and my father became so abusive to me that my mom divorced him. But only because the cops had been called once! Before that she let him beat me senseless! And then she married your dad, and I begged her to move back..." I didn't want to continue.

"Is your boyfriend still here? In town?" My sister asked. "Yes. He is. Except he's straight and has a damn girlfriend! And I have to deal with all of this crap! Mom loves you so much, and I'm nothing to her but this space she's forced to take care of! If you're a lesbian or something never tell Mom, never tell dad, never tell anyone. And leave me alone, damnit! I don't need you bothering me!" I could see the fear in Serena's eyes.

"Zexion!" My mother screeched and stomped over to me, slapping me in the face twice, "You are grounded for a month! Give me your phone, lap top, your ipod, and your books!" She demanded. I glared at her, "I didn't choose to be gay, mom. And trust me, if I could change it I would." I explained through gritted teeth. She slapped me again, and I only turned and walked into my room.


"Zexion! These are my missing Nora Roberts novels! Month and a half!" I heard my mother scream. "Ahh!" I gasped as blood dripped onto my shirt some more. "Too deep." I hissed at the pocket knife in my hands. I was... cutting myself. "Go away..." I whispered to the pain in my head, in my heart, and in my arms.

"Please... leave me alone..." I whispered to no one but myself. Once again I sliced the knife down my arm, and shuddered. "Oh damn... this hurts, for a while." I chuckled to myself and sliced another shallow, long, bloody cut down my arm. Almost... just a few more cuts. I promised to myself and sliced down my arm again, no longer wincing.

I reached my hand underneath my bed, and pulled out an old mp3 player Demyx bought me when I turned fourteen. He said he didn't know what to get... and that music was the best thing in the world... and I should have a piece of him to remind me that he... loved me. That was when we first kissed, too. And it was also the night I got my first real beating... because my parents saw me kissing Demyx.

I put the ear phones on, and switched to cemetary drive. Perfect. I thought and put it on repeat. I sliced down my arm again, and laughed, slicing again and again and again! "So much blood," I whispered with a smirk, "Damn... it's getting really, really dark." I said as I started to pass out, bleeding... to death.


A bit on the short side but it adds suspense Xp. I love Zexy being all cutter depressed... gives me chills. lol imma creeper. please review! And I wrote everything from line 1 to line 2 while listening to Th Ghost Of You by mcr, and everything from line 2 to line 3 (the one above the bold lines duh) was made by listenng to Cemetary Drive by mcr. :( u hate me for making story so depressing?

By the way, i posted this chapter because I'l probably be without internet for a few motnhs... which would make this a HUGE cliffy lol