Disclaimer.....I don't own Twilight!
A/N: So how many of you want to kill me right now??? I'm so very very very sorry for the long wait. I lost my mojo, like bad. I have not been able to get into the zone for many reasons. The biggest one is over the last few weeks I've been emotionally drained and have not had the UMPH to write this. I tried to get Laura to get in the zone for it but she says I'm so much better :) that made me smile. So last night I cleared my mind of the real life shit that has been going on and just wrote. It's a short chapter; it's more a filler.
Hope4More: Thanks for the smiles that you send me daily. God knows I need them. Thanks for listening to my ranting emails about my mother in law, husband and kids. But most of all thanks for being there the last few days!
Chapter 11: Falling into you by Matt Willis (thank Laura for coming up with great song titles!)
"Edward, I can't, I'm sorry, I just can't." I stood up and walked out of the hotel room leaving my heart behind.
EPOV
I sat there on my bed and watched as Bella walked out of my life. I felt my heart sting and I had the urge to hit anything in sight. Not wanting to ruin the hotel and have to have my uncle pay for more broken things, I quickly undressed, got into my gym clothes and ran the five miles to my gym, then went straight into the kick boxing room and let my anger out.
I kicked and punched until my legs were worn. My hands were probably bleeding. The sweat was so bad that it looked like I just got out of the shower. I kicked and punched for my parents, for the trouble I'd caused them. I kicked and punched for my aunt and uncle and the way I treated them. I kicked and punched for trusting people and being walked all over. But most of all I kicked and punched for my heart and how badly it was hurt.
When I couldn't do it anymore, I went to the treadmill and ran. Then I went and lifted weights. When my body felt like Jell-o. I decided to run home. I pushed myself even though I thought my body was going to break.
I walked into the hotel and I could smell Bella's perfume. The smell hit me hard, burning my nostrils and cutting my heart. I reached for my cologne and sprayed it all over the room. I then went into the shower and allowed the water to wash away everything I felt. My body went numb. Every piece of me was like ice even with the warm water hitting me. I still felt the numbness that rang through my veins.
I ignored all the phone calls I received from Alice and my uncle. I allowed myself to be swallowed in the self-pity. I couldn't sleep. I sat in my bed until the sun rose and it was time for me to get up and face another day in court.
Today was brutal. I was a mess and Bella looked gorgeous. The design of her body was perfect; she was perfect and beautiful. She made my heart jump and there was nothing I could do but sit at this fucking table and pretend like I didn't want to take her in my arms and run out of here and make love to her.
Bella approached the bench with Carlisle; damn her and the cute ass. My dick twitched a little as I watched her walk. I had to close my eyes. I had to concentrate on something else. This was crazy. How the hell am I going to do this? And what if she questions me? There is no way I can do this. I should just plead guilty and get it over it with.
I sat there all morning and listened as Bella plead her case. She spent the first part of the morning questioning business specialists and going over the documents with the jurors. She explained each document in great detail. She was really good at explaining the figures. Hell, even I believed her that I was capable of this. The next half of the morning she spent dissected my financial background.
Court broke for lunch around 12:00 and she ran to the door so fast. Carlisle and I ate in silence. He could tell something was wrong and I knew he would have questions for me later on at home.
The afternoon court session consisted of Carlisle trying to prove Bella wrong and putting his own spin on things. I sat there as everything about this day in court went over my head. I thought of words for my new song but most of all, I thought of Bella.
At 4:15, the judge told us court was dismissed. I practically jumped when he hit the gavel on the sound block.
"Edward, wait up. Why are you running out of here?" My uncle called after me.
"Carlisle can we catch up tomorrow morning? I need to go unwind."
"Fine but be at the house at 6:00am we have to go over a few things."
"I will." I called back running out of the door and loosening my tie.
I made it my car and sped away as fast as I could without getting pulled over. Once I was at the hotel, I stripped myself from my clothes and decided to go for a swim in the pool.
BPOV
Being in court today with Edward was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. He looked so lonely, but most of all hurt. I could see the hurt in eyes and I hated myself for walking out of that door last night. I didn't know what to do. I mean, on the one hand, this was my career. But on the other, my heart was telling me to choose Edward. Shit, I was involved with the man I'm supposed to be putting away in order to rise in my career. What kind of person am I?
I made my way home and when I got there, Jasper was at the kitchen table, two cups of coffee, his hands folded on his lap looking at out the window.
I almost turned around and walked out when I saw him sitting there.
"Don't think about it Bella." He said sternly as if he was my father.
"What do you want Jasper?" I asked irritated. I wasn't ready to talk about this. Least of all to Jasper, the guy who is sleeping with Edward's best friend.
"Sit Bella. I made your favorite coffee. Butterscotch, light, no sugar." He looked over at me and gave me a weak smile. I hesitated for a second then sat down next to him.
"Bella, we have been friends for a long time. You're hurting and I want to help you. Now enough running from me and tell me what the hell is going on."
"Come on Jasper, don't play dumb with me. You know what's going on. I mean you're fucking Alice, so if course she told you.." As soon the words were out of my mouth I regretting them and I didn't mean it at all. I think Jasper knew as much because he reached out and took my hand.
"Bella you are my best friend. Alice told me one thing. All she said was that she walked out on you when she found out that you were the one prosecuting her best friend. She said that she didn't want to get you in any more trouble so she just left. It broke her heart to do that Bella. She really likes you."
"She really said that?" I asked through my tears.
"Yes Bella, she did." He smiled and squeezed my hand.
"I messed everything up Jasper. The guy, you know the one that made me smile from ear to ear for a few weeks? Well it's him Jasper, its Alice's best friend. My Tony, the guy I was falling for is Edward, the guy I'm trying to prosecute."
Jaspers eyes opened wider and his mouth fell open a little. He looked down then back up at me then looked down again.
"I take it Alice didn't tell you that part?" I asked laughing a little at the whole situation. Not that it was funny but I guess in a way, you could say it was.
"Bella let me get this straight. Your case, the huge one, the one that is going to make your career, is in jeopardy because you're sleeping with the defendant?"
"I had no clue Jasper, no clue at all. I walked into court and there he was."
"This is bad Bella, you realize this right? If this ever gets out, your barred no questions asked. You need to get off this case now."
"No!" I yelled and stood up. "I can't Jasper, you don't understand. This is it; this is my break. I got this case, it's a no brainer and once I win, law school is paid off with the bonus I'll get and I'll still have extra to live freely with no debt and finally have a life and not mooch off my father anymore."
"What if he says something Bella? What if he rats you out? You're not thinking through this."
"Listen Jasper, nothing has happened the last two days of court, so apparently he hasn't told anyone and I really don't think he will. Dammit Jasper, I trust him. I trust him."
I walked over to the sink and leaned against it crossing my arms. The tears were falling like a river and Jasper walked up and stood in front of me.
"Bella, I'm not one to talk about love but here I go. I'm falling for Alice and I can't help it. I may not know all there is to know about her and we still have a lot to learn about one another but I can't imagine myself, now that I have had a taste of life with Alice, having one without her. Bella, the look in your eyes over the past few weeks was the look that I had, that I still have and if it's Edward that gives you that look, then by all means go after it. We can't help who we fall in love Bella. We just can't. Jobs will come and go but the one you're meant to be with only comes along once in a lifetime."
"I'm falling for him Jasper. I was falling for him hard. And take matters worse, I believe him. I believe he's innocent."
Jasper reached for me and pulled me into a hug. "You'll make the right decision, I know you will and no matter what decision that is, I'll stand by you. I'll help you in any way that I can."
"Thanks Jasper, I really needed this."
"Anything for you. You know that." He squeezed me one last time before going back to sit at the table. We sat there for a few moments talking a little more, mostly about Alice and EJ. I thanked Jasper again for his help and then he headed to his apartment. I sat on the couch and looked over at the picture of my mom.
"What should I do Mom?" I asked hoping for a sign. I closed my eyes and thought. How could I do this? Dammit, I want him I want him with everything I have. I don't care about the consequences. He didn't do this I know he didn't. But how can I, the prosecutor find the evidence to help his case?
I knew right then what I had to do. I ran to my car and drove away. I got to my destination and let my head rest on the steering wheel for a moment.
"Bella, Bella what are you doing out here?" I heard him call as he came running to my car.
So…….what do you think? Let me know…..I love hearing from you guys and god knows I need the smiles!
Thanks again for being so patient with me.
Much Love!
CM & Laurajae
