I finally have an update guys :) and I really hope you like it :D

Title: When Life Hands You Spencer Carlin
Author: Accessdeniedx07
Author's Note: This story is based on real-life experiences, but of course some is dramatized to make it good.
Pairing: Spashley and maybe a whole bunch later
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: I do not own anything. All disclaimers belong to Tom Lynch and The-N.
Summary: The beginnings of Spashley—remade

Chapter 12: Know Your Answers

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Previously on When Life Hands You Spencer Carlin

I race down the hall saying to myself, "It's me. It has to be me from that piece of paper." I make a left into the bathroom and stand directly in front of the mirror. I say, "Where's a cold shower when you need one?"

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Ashley's POV

Be cool. Be confident. Be…passionate?

I'm walking down the halls, back to class, coming from the bathroom. After Spencer practically felt me up, I needed a refresher so I dashed to the girl's room to splash water in my face.

I'm taking my sweet time too, strolling down the hallways. I really don't want to go back to class. I know that sounds really out of whack, but I'm so afraid of what Spencer might do next. I mean, I've always wanted her to do something like this—make an obvious move towards me—but it just doesn't seem right.

I have to talk to her after school today. I need to pull any information out of her that will tell me what she's thinking. I just want some sort of clue of what her "sneaky" plan might be.

I finally walk through the doorway into the Biology room after, what felt like an eternity, of pacing down the halls. I place the pass on the hook to the right of me and shuffle my feet across the floor and to the back of the room. Spencer has her head down, looking at the lab worksheet I left her with from before. She switches from lab to microscope and back again. She seems to be perfectly fine—nothing bothering her. What's wrong with me then?!

I walk directly to our lab table and slowly slide back onto my stool. She looks at me with a hint of smile on her face. She jokes, "Did ya fall in? You were gone an awfully long time."

I lie, "The bathrooms were busy." I wait a few seconds, and then change the subject, "Do you need help with anything?" I've become fidgety quickly, shaking my legs profusely.

She responds simply, "No I'm good." She looks at me, "I mean, unless you want to finish this up, that's fine with me."

I jump on the opportunity, "Yea, I'll finish the rest. You can just relax." I kinda force my way in to get a good view of every tool and question in front of me. Spencer sits back in her stool and watches me work. I have my back to her and, quite frankly, I'm a little scared. I pick up the slide to put under the microscope and remove the one that's under it currently.

For some reason, my body jerks towards the lab table and both slides go flying across the table. I look over to see neither of them are broken and no one witnessed my clumsiness. I walk over to the other side and pick them both up. Spencer asks in a concerned tone, "Are you okay? You seem very…"

I finish her sentence, "Worried? Yea I kinda am?"

She asks, "Why? What's wrong?"

I walk over, standing closer to Spencer as I spit it out, "How come you did that thing with my leg?"

She questions, "What? From before?"

I nod my head as an answer.

She chuckles at herself for a few seconds and then answers, "I really just wanted to know if that felt good. I don't know, but I think I saw it in a magazine or somewhere that said caressing someone's thigh really woos someone."

I take it all in. Is she using that as an excuse or is that really the truth? Maybe I'm not the girl from the note? Then who could it be?

I ask in a questionable tone, "Really?"

She nods her head and then quickly utters, "You didn't really think I was doing it to…"

I nod my head.

"Really? That would explain why you fled the room right after. But that's pretty funny." She laughs and I try to, but this whole situation has got me even more confused about Spencer's feelings. "But don't worry; I don't like you in that's sense."

I'm a rollercoaster of emotions. I think I'm actually disappointed she said she wasn't interested in me, but before I was scared for her to like me. What is going on with me?!

I blurt out, "Well that's good."

In an annoyed tone, Spencer asks, "What's that supposed to mean?"

"I don't know."

"You're saying if I liked you, it would be a bad thing?"

I quickly answer her, "No. I wasn't saying that."

"Then what were you saying?"

I take a deep breath to actually tell her the truth, but I hold myself back, "I don't know what I was trying to say. I'm just really confused right now."

She shrugs her shoulders, "You're confused? I can't even get a simply answer out of you from a simple question."

I put the lab slide underneath the scope as I explain, "It's a little more complicated than that."

Her voice is rising a little bit because she's getting annoyed with me. "How can it be complicated? It's a simple question. If I liked you, would that be a bad thing?"

I decide not to answer her. I don't know how to answer her without giving out too much information. I can't tell her I'm practically in love with her because it's not mutual. It would just put a really big damper in our friendship, which I don't want to lose at all.

Her voice rises slightly, "Are you gonna answer me?"

Now I'm getting annoyed with her, which causes me to not answer her back, again. I put my eyes against the lenses and look down at the subject.

She pesters, "Why won't you answer me?"

I take my eyes off the lenses to look at Spencer intensely. I confess, "You know, that's what I can't stand about you. Once you get something in your head, you pester on and on until you get an answer or it gets resolved. I told you, I don't have an answer to that so just drop it."

It's the truth—I don't have an appropriate answer. If I say it would be good if she liked me, that might push her away from me, but if I say it wouldn't be good, she might think she's not good enough for me. It's a lose-lose situation that I'm trying so hard to get out of.

Her tone of voice has become sharp, "All you have to say is either if would be a good thing if I liked you or a bad thing if I liked you."

I don't say anything. I walk away from the table casually to remove myself from the situation and to not make a scene by yelling.

This semester is gonna suck.

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That night

It's around 9:30 at night and I'm in my room, on my bed, working on my Bio homework. I should've paid more attention in class, then this wouldn't be so hard to do right now. To make matters worse, I can't call up anyone to ask for homework help. Spencer hasn't talked to me since that little incident during Bio and no one else I know has that specific class.

To tell the truth, I'm not worried that Spencer and I haven't talked since. I'll let her have time to think and then I'll patch things up in class tomorrow.

I let out a groan and plop my book onto my lap. "I need a break," I murmur.

I glance around my room and my guitar case catches my eye. I place my book on the bed and climb out to walk to the case. I unzipper the case and extract my song book out of there. I flip instantly to the page with the song I'm currently working on, which I have yet to give a title. It's about Spencer and my feelings towards her. I want to tell her how I feel, but I just don't know how to express it and it's keeping me up at night sometimes. The song will fit our relationship perfectly, eventually, when it's done…whenever that may be.

I rip out the page with the lyrics on it. I read over the lyrics I have written down and it gets me thinking. I can't just let that little fight do something to our friendship. I need to clear up everything now so tomorrow isn't weird.

I remove the song book from my lap and put it on my bed, right next to my Bio book. I put the piece of paper in front of me. I step out of my bed and walk towards my bag, but before I dive in to scramble through all of the junk in there, searching for my cell phone, it goes off.

The loud music plays for a few seconds before I capture it and take it out. I read off the name, "Riley." My heart begins to race like crazy. I answer the phone, "Hello?"

The enthusiastic voice speaks, "Hey it's Riley. The girl that saved your life. I wanted to see if you wanted to hang out this Friday." She laughs in a cute way through the phone.

I try not to be aggressive, but I speak in a sharp tone, "Yea I remember you. Uhmm…today's Monday? I'm not sure yet. I gotta check with everyone and my parents to make sure I'm not booked for something." I laugh back.

She answers pleasantly, "That's fine."

I assure her with my words, "Listen, I gotta make a quick call and then I'll get back to you on that offer."

She jokes, "Okay, but I'm holding you to that promise." She snickers through the phone.

I play around, "Then I better get back to you as soon as I can."

She kids, "You're right."

"Ha-ha well then I'll talk to you in a few minutes."

"Alright. Bye."

"Bye."

I hang up the phone and instantly get butterflies in my stomach. Is it prossible to be really nervous and yet excited at the same time for something?

I snap back to reality and start dialing Spencer's home phone. I figure she won't pick her cell if she sees me calling so I'll call her house. Clever, I know.

A few rings go by and then a young man's voice answers, "Hello."

This voice doesn't sound familiar to me for some reason. Does Spencer have a boy over?! I'm gonna cut his ba—

I answer like I'm questioning if I have the right phone number or not, "Hey is Spencer available?"

The voice clears its throat, "Who's this?"

"It's Ashley…?"

The accent becomes enthusiastic, "Oh hey Ash."

Who the hell am I talking to?! "Who's this?"

"Wow I must've really meant a lot to you those ew months…"

"Glen?"

He responds quickly, "Of course it is. Who did you think it was?"

I admit, "I don't know. It sure didn't sound like you. It must be my damn ph—can I talk to Spencer?"

"Yea sure I gotta find her first," he says simply. I hear Glen yell loudly in the background, "Spencer!"

A feminine voice that could remotely resemble Spencer's mom's voice, questions Glen, "hoos dat?" I tune into the conversation intensely.

Glen answers, "It's Ashley, Mom."

Her words become harder to point out and not because of bad reception, "O Ashleee. Very sweet gurl dat Ahle es."

She's drunk as a skunk. What is going on over there that I don't know?

Glen persists, "Mom, could you please keep quiet for a few seconds?" A few seonds go by and then he screams again, "Spencer!" He calls one more time after that and when he's not satisfied, he whispers to me, "I think she might've gone out Ashley so why don't you call her cell."

I just agree and go along with everything, "Okay, thanks anyways Glen."

He politely responds, "No problem. Goodnight Ashley."

"Goodnight."

I hang up my phone and think to myself, "Where could Spencer be going this late at night?"

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While Glen and Ashley were chatting…Spencer's POV

I gotta get out of here, even if it means running away for good. I can't take this place anymore. It's been just about three weeks since Mom started rehab and nothing has improved: her behavior, her depression, which may also go with her behavior, and definitely not her alcohol dependency. I have a fear she's gonna become violent if she doesn't get help quick enough.

I stand up front sitting on my bed so long, trying to pester some answers from my head onto my Bio homework, but I'm not getting anywhere. What makes this even worse is I have no one to call for even a small bit of answers. Ashley's the only one I know who has that exact same class and well Ashley was being Ashley so I figured I would give her the night to cool off and then fix everything up in class.

But for now, I need to figure out a way to get out of here. I don't care if it's just for a night, I just need some air from this place and school is just satisfactory for now. I need something more spontaneous.

The only place I could go to without getting caught would be Ashley's, but I don't know whats running through her brain right now with everything that went on in before. I couldn't help that it blew up like it did. All I wanted was an answer. Is that such a bad thing?

Ashley will understand though. She always understands.

I grab a small bag and begin to stuff clothes in there for the night. I scoop all of my books and put them in my backpack. I put my cell with my clothes. I storm out of my room with my backpack and the bag, keeping the lights on because they won't know I'm gone for that much longer.

I tip-toe down the stairs carefully, listening to every sound from everywhere. I hear Mom babbling about something, but I can't make it out clearly. It sounds like Glen might be talking to Mom, but again I can't make out anything clearly.

I quickly wrap around the staircase and slide quickly out the door without making any kind of disturbance.

I run around the other side of the house and I hear a scream through the walls, "Spencer!"

I continue to pace my way down the hill without looking back. I utter, "A little too late, Glen."

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Ashley's POV

Now what am I supposed to do? Call Spencer? Wait util tomorrow? Call back Riley?

Suddenly, I hear a small chirp-like sound around my window area. I jerk my head to look at my window and wait a few seconds. The sounds comes again, but this time I see a small pebble hit the window and ricochet back.

I walk over to the window, confused as anything, wondering what's causing this. I turn off the lamp so I can see outside better. I open the window and see a familiar body standing two stories beneath me. I ask, "Spencer, what are you doing out here in the night? And in the cold nontheless?"

She sorta demands like a little kid looking for their mom, "I need a place to stay."

I whine a little, "But Spencer…"

She begs, "Ash, please?"

I take in a deep breath and analyze possible consequences quickly: get caught and she goes back home, which might end up bad for her, considering her mom seems in a very bad place right now.

I state, "I'll come down through the basement."

I shut the window and stand up straight. I walk around my room, searching for my jacket. I find one of the jacket's arm's sticking out from underneath my bed. I quickly put it on and squirm down each hall that leads into the basement.

Two minutes later…I can't believe I made it down here, in one piece, and without any questioning. Where is everyone?

I switch on the lights and walk towards the basement door. I unlock it and allow Spencer to come in. I feel an instant cold blast of the outside rush in. It's gotta be negative degrees outside…and Spencer walked all the way over here.

Spencer steps into the house with a few bags and holding her arms and shiver severely. She has barely a Spring jacket on and sneakers. She trudged through all that snow.

I state the obvious, "Spencer look at you. You're freezing. What were you thinking walking all the way over here."

She speaks slowly and shivers between each word, "It's….only…a few…houses…away."

I reach out my hands, indicating to her I will take the bags off her worries. I say, "We need to get you upstairs and warmed up."

She insists, "You're parents…can't know…I'm here." She huffs and puffs profusely, trying to warm her body in some way.

"Let's just get you into my room. We gotta get your body temperature up." I turn off the light behind me and continue to walk towards the stairs.

Two minutes later…Spencer and I are back upstairs in my room. I quickly lock my door and demand, "Take off your shoes and get into my bed." She moves slowly to accomplish each task. I drop her bags on the floor and then walk over to her to remove her shoes for her as she sits down on the bed. I take off her socks as well because they are soaked and would only make her that much colder if left on. I say after I finish removing everything, "Get into the bed and wrap all the blankets around you."

She nods her head, continually breathing heavily in and out. She's been in the house a good three minutes and there's no improvement. I examine her as I ask, "Spencer, how long were you outside?"

"Couldn't have been…that long."

I gotta get her body temperature up, but I don't kn…

I say politely, "Sit up please." She does ask I ask and I climb into bed right behind her. I wrap my arms and legs around her body and snuggle really close to her. "Give me your hands."

She snuggles her hands comfortably in mine. I feel her hands warm instantly in mine and I feel some relief. I lean back so the back of my head is against my headboard. Spencer slowly follows behind and she nestles her head into my chest. "Are you okay Spencer?"

Her breaths becoming less erratic and she eventually is able to speak at a normal rate, "Yea I'm fine now."

I try to explain myself, "I didn't know what to do to help you warm up so I just thought of using my body to help yours recover."

She assures me, "It's alright. I trust you."

A few moments of silence go by and I realize having her in my arms is one of the best feelings I've had my whole life. For some reason, I feel like I'm in power with everything, especially keeping Spencer safe. Whatever is going on over at her house, I know she is safe in my arms.

I apologize, "I'm sorry about how I acted in school today. It was really immature, but I just didn't know how to react in any other way. I wasn't trying to start a fight or anything."

She encourages, "I know you didn't. And I'm sorry about how annoying I was. I should've just respected your choice not to answer the question. Obviously you have a very good reason to not answer it, so I'm going to leave it at that."

My eyes become droopy all of a sudden, as if I hadn't gotten sleep in a couple of days. I utter before completely passing out, "Spencer I'm gonna go to sleep…" Within a few seconds, I'm complletely knocked out and asleep comfortably with Spencer where she should be.

Later that night

I wake up, lying on my right side with my head facing the back of Spencer's head. She's fast asleep right in front of me and her body temperatue actually seems to be warmer than mine.

I always thought Spencer was hot.

I want her a little closer to me because I miss that feeling already. I drape my left hand over her side and stomach. I scoot close enough to her that we're probably considered spooning right now…with clothes fully on.

I use whatever control I have with my right hand and begin to slowly brush Spencer's hair. Her hair is so soft and silky. It feels nice running my hands through it.

My touch must've triggered something in Spencer's brain because she begins to squirm a little in her place. She turns her head a smidge towards me and utters, "Hey Ash."

That's gotta be a good sign. She's not creeped out that I'm practically on top of her or that her hair is currently occupying my hand.

I stop caressing her hair and nuzzle my head into her back, getting ready to fall back asleep.

Spencer speaks out of nowhere, "You know if you said it would be good if I liked you, I would tell you I like you."

Was it just me or was that in gibberish? I ask, "What was that Spence?"

She murmurs, "I like you Ashley. So much."

I pull her hair away from her forehead and say, "I know. That's why you got so frustrated when I wouldn't answer you."

She turns her body over slowly and asks, "If you knew I liked you, why didn't you just tell me you liked me?"

"I wanted to hear it from you first."

She scoffs her voice and turns back over. "That's silly."

I admit, "I didn't want to lose you by scaring you away. If I lose you, I lose everything. I like you so much Spencer that's it practically taking—"

"Over your every thought and move?" Spencer interuppts by finishing the sentence.

"Yea."

She explains, "That's exactly how I feel."

I brush my left hand through her hair and say, "Did I ever tell you how beautiful you are?"

Spencer states eagerly, "Are you going to kiss me or did I just wake myself up for nothing?"

I chuckle a little bit and then slowly plant my lips onto Spencer's. I move slowly enough that I don't scare off Spencer. To tell the truth, I want her to control our kissing so I don't do anything she doesn't want.

After a few moments, I take my lips off of her. I pick my head up a little and give Spencer a nice kiss on the check. "Goodnight. School's tomorrow." I turn over that now I have my back to Spencer.

She complains, "Oh really? Do we really have to go? Can't we just lay in bed together all day?"

I exhale, "Oh Spencer I wish we could."

A few moments go by and I'm almost asleep, but then Spencer talks, "But you make me feel safe."

I promise, "I'll keep you safe at school."

That pacifies Spencer for a few more moments but then she suggests, "Will you wrap you arm around me like before? I was so comfortable like that."

That's not a problem. I flip over for déjà vu to occur and I'm back in the same place with my left arm gracefully lying on top of Spencer's stomach.

Spencer offers a couple seconds later, "Hey Aiden's having a party this Friday. You wanna go?"

I agree, "Yea of course." Within five minutes, Spencer is sound asleep again, in my arm. Then of course it hits me like a train, "Shoot I forgot to call Riley."

I startle Spencer a bit, "What Ash?"

I lie, "Oh nothing."

A while goes by and then Spencer breaks the silence, "My mom's an alcoholic."

I alertly say, "Oh man Spencer. Why didn't you tell me sooner?"

"I was scared."

I flip over to look into her eyes. "Don't ever be scared to tell me things like that. Has she ever hit you…?"

She answers honestly, "No."

I'm really upset to hear that. If I would've known sooner, I would've gotten Spencer out of her house more often. I feel like I'm on the verge of tears right now. "Spencer I wish you would've told me sooner."

She tries to make an excuse, "But you know now."

I quickly ask, "What if something happened to you Spencer? Like with your dad? You know how that would make me feel?"

She looks into my eyes, but has no words to respond with.

"I care about you Spencer. I don't want to see you get hurt."

She assures, "I promise I won't. As long as I'm with you, I know I'm safe."

I utter, "I know you're safe too, but you can't be staying here every night. Someone's going to catch us."

"I don't know what to say," Spencer replies.

I answer simply, "I don't either, but we can't worry about it now. We've got school tomorrow." Spencer flips to her previous stance. I let my hand dangle on Spencer's body. Spencer situates her arm into a different position. I stroke her arm with my fingers. I whisper into her ear, "I love you."

She murmurs confidently, "I know. I love you too."

She has no idea how soothing to my ears it is to hear that from her.

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*bites nails* was it goood?