Between The Lines

Chap. 11

A Passionate Array of Bullshit

Through a crooked glance, Kelly sidestepped her way passed me and slid her room key in the hotel door.

"Amelia?" She hollered, her son tightening his grip around her neck. "Are you alright in here?"

I swallowed hard and spun on my heel to face the open door way.

"No! It's fucking bullshit, Kelly! I can't believe him!" Amelia huffed angrily as I heard her footsteps pounding closer towards Kelly.

"Who? What?" Kelly questioned completely lost.

"Criss! He came here looking for you! Did you seem him on your way out or did he disappear?" Amelia snickered.

Kelly turned around and glanced back into the hallway at me and I shot her a fallible smile.

"Wha-what happened?" She asked neither one of us in particular.

The moment Amelia's profile stood before the open doorway I decided that it was time to leave, or rather disappear.

I made it up to my suite in a hurry not bothering to glance back. My head hit the soft fabric of my pillow case and I drew in a loud distressed grumble uttering the words, fuck me, over and over again. Hammie meowed a couple times and hobbled up onto the bed. His paw came crashing down into my hair and I half-smiled at his playful expression.

"I'm screwed, boy… SERIOUSLY screwed."

My cat mewed once more and seemed to wink at me before he curled himself into a ball and began cleaning his stripped fur.

My mind wandered for countless minutes over what had occurred during the last hour until I finally decided that I had enough courage to check my voicemail and listen Melissa's voice.

"Hey Criss, it's me. I hope everything's alright. I tried calling you twice and you must not have signal or something because it keeps going straight to your voicemail, but anyway… I just wanted to let you know that my plane landed safely. I'm on my way back to my apartment now. I'll be sure to call you after work, okay? I hope you get this… love you!"

The phone remained open in the palm of my hand for a long moment as I contemplated calling her back. That was one thing, I no longer had enough courage for.


What little information Paul had given me was driving me mad. After my pointless time that was spend locked up in the cell with him, I drove back home, infuriated. I was absolutely irate at the whole situation. Deep down inside, I knew that he would have pulled something over on me like this. How stupid was I to believe that he would confess anything to me?

I found no solace in my apartment. Instead, my mind was focused on one thing… well, two things. One, if I were to drive down to mother's house would she even speak to me? And two, would she even tell me the truth? I decided that it was worth a shot. Sure, maybe we didn't get along but I knew that when push came to shove if she knew that someone had tried to murder me she would probably come to visit me, or at least I hoped that was what she would do.

The clock read 7:36pm. If hurried I could make it to her house by 8:20. Technically, she lived on the opposite end of town in unincorporated Oak Forrest which was called Willow Park. Willow Park was mostly a farming community with nothing but large farm houses and acres of land. I grew up in Willow Park with my mom and dad on a farm, although we never farmed anything. We lived in an older farm house that had 3 acres which my mom mostly used for a large vegetable garden and my dad used the old barns for restoring cars, which eventually my mom gave all those cars to Paul. The bastard.

The sounds of the gravel driveway crunching underneath the tires of my sports car sent memories shivering down my spine. There was only one light on in the living room of my old house and from what I saw my mother's car was parked inside the main barn.

I knocked a few times on the door and waited outside in the cool night air, my eyes evaluating what had changed on the porch and what had still remained the same since I was a teenager.

Several minutes passed until I finally saw a shadow of my mother peak through the tiny curtained window of the door, then casually walk away.

My lips curved into a sarcastic grin and I shook my head in disbelief. What a bitch.

My feet remained froze on the bricked porch for a long moment until I spotted a familiar decorative garden gnome out of the corner of my eye. The gnome was placed in the center of a bed of flowers that lead up to the front door. I always hated that damned gnome… it was such a tacky choice of garden decoration, then again I also remembered instantly that was where the spare house key hidden.

I laughed to myself as I reached underneath the hideous gnomes base and found the key.

Sure enough it slide perfectly into the door and before I knew I had broken inside what once was my own home.

"Mom!" I yelled out, not even bothering to fully shut the front door. "MOM!"

"What the hell!" She hollered back from the living room, the T.V. volume set on obnoxiously loud. "Wha-what, how did you get in here?"

"That God awful gnome… what is your fucking problem? I just came to see if you're alright!" My arms folded defensively into my chest.

She finally shut the T.V. off and stood up to face me.

"Alright, well do I look alright?"

My jaw dropped the moment my eyes registered her body. Her face was badly bruised. She had one eye which was much puffier than the other, her right arm was in a splint and her right ankle was wrapped.

"What happened to you?" I gasped.

"I fell." She replied quickly as she reached for a pair of crutches that were resting against the arm of the couch.

"How?"

"I'd rather not discuss that."

"And why not?"

"It's not worth discussing. It was a simple mistake that's all."

"Paul did it, didn't he?" I accused.

"He didn't do a damned thing, Melissa." She snapped, not able to look me in the eye. "I tripped."

I laughed pathetically. "Tripped, really? Over what?"

She sighed and drew in a shaky breath. "You act like I'm clueless. I know where he is… I know that he is in the hospital right now. The same hospital that you just so happen to work at. And I also know how bad this all looks. It's not really that bad. He never hurt me."

"Okay, would you tell me if he did?" I questioned seriously.

She shook her head. "Why would I tell you? He never would."

My eyes rolled. "You say that like he never has. I'm about to trip myself. I'm tripping over your bullshit."

Her bruised face distorted in anger. "And I'm tripping on yours. You weren't even invited in this house, you intruded. You wonder why you aren't welcome in my home? Well, this is why Melissa… and I most certainly can only hope for Paul's sake that you aren't badgering him at your place of work while he is trying to mend his wounds as am I."

There was a long pause before I replied, "And I can only hope that someday, somehow you wake up and realize that the world no longer cares how perfect you are or how perfect your house is or your husband is because all your are doing is creating a façade of shit and everyone knows that deep down you are just as twisted and helpless as he is. Good-bye Marisa…" My eyes welled with tears as I called my mother by her first name.

On my way out I slipped the spare house key onto my key ring and gave another scowl at the garden gnome. Then I decided that I'd end that stupid, ignorant smiling gnomes life for good by picking him up and smashing him through the porch window. Man, that felt so damn good.

It was almost midnight when I climbed into bed and as tears hit my pillow I re-dialed Criss' number for what seemed like the 100th time since my plane had landed ever so long ago. It rang 5 times and his voicemail clicked on with an annoying beep.

Through a sniffle I left him another message.


"Where are you? I wish you were here… please, please, please… just call me back. I don't care what time it is. Okay? I miss you… a lot."

It felt almost as though my heart was being torn out of my chest and thrown up against the wall as I listening to that voicemail. She sounded horrible. I could tell she was crying. Dear God, I was a GIANT asshole. I had to call her back… but that was only going make me feel 10,000 times worse.

"Hello?" She answered lowly.

"Are you okay?" I asked, not sounding quite okay myself.

"I've had better days…"

"Yeah, me too." I muttered.

"Where have you been all day?" She questioned through worry.

It took me a moment to respond, or rather a moment to conjure some shit together. "Oh… I've been crazy busy. I had this thing with my ugh management and then a rehearsal thingy and umm… Carrot Top dropped by and asked me out to dinner and for a drink."

"Hmmm… I thought you didn't have any plans today, at least that's what you told me when I left?"

"Yeah, I didn't think I did but shit kinda just all fell together and stuff." I paused and cleared my throat, "Anyway… I'm sorry I didn't call you sooner. I'm glad you got home alright."

"Yeah, sure. Hey, tell me something…" Her voice cracked.

"What's that?" I asked.

"Tell me you love me." She replied seriously.

"You know I do." I nearly stuttered, not able to say much of anything.

"Say it…" She insisted with a tone of some sort of foreign knowledge of my apprehension in her voice that made me shiver.

"I-I…Love you." I stumbled through the words as tears formed in my eyes, followed by the abominable sight of Amelia's lips kissing down my chest.

Melissa was silent on the other end of the phone for what seemed to be a lifetime before she whispered, "God, I'm so tired of everyone's bullshit Criss…"

"I'm so sorry." I held back more tears bracing myself for her to unload on me and tell me how disappointed she was in me, how she never wanted to speak to me again. That everything between us was over, that I was nothing but a complete and utter fuck up and waste of her time.

"I really needed to hear your voice, tonight. You know, you're the only person I trust. The only person who has never screwed me over… I'm sorry I'm crying, I've just had a horrible day… I wish I never came here or at least I wish that maybe I took your offer up on you coming with me."

I slammed my head into the palm of my head feeling so guilty I could throw up. "You don't know how bad I wish I would have come with you… really."

Then, none of this would have ever happened.

"Dr. Julian wants me to stay here another week…" She groaned.

"What?" I protested.

"I know. I don't want to. He thinks it would be the best thing for Paul and for the staff. I'm torn. I don't think that Paul will tell me anything but I think that his behavior will improve if I'm here."

"Are you saying that you are going to stay?"

"No, not at all. I'm not staying. I was hoping that I could come home tomorrow."

"Tomorrow?" My lip found it's way between my teeth. "What time tomorrow?"

"Maybe just in time to see your show?" She replied happily.

I finally half-smiled. "Front row, center?"

"And backstage?" She giggled playfully.


The next evening I arrived back at the Luxor hotel at exactly a quarter to 7 P.M. that gave me just enough time to run up to Criss' room, change my clothes and make it down to the theater. He was right, there was a seat reserved just me, front row and in the center. I sat there alone as the crowd started to fill up their seats. Everything around me reminded me of my time on Blurred Reality and when we'd meet in the theater for our challenge eliminations. I laughed as I thought about the time Kelly fell off the stage during her cheerleading act and the time we all had put together our own Rock N' Roll band… that was horrible!

The moment the lights dimmed I noticed someone out of the corner of my eye walking in the isle to the left of me.

Amelia… seriously?

Criss came out on stage excitedly welcoming his audience and I grinned up at him, blowing him kiss. He blew me one back and winked mouthing the words, Hey baby.

Of course, his show was absolutely amazing. It always was. He never ceased to amaze me with how effortlessly he pulled off his stunts and illusions and even having sat so close to the stage, I still was in awe at how he was able to conceal his magic so epically. After the show I glanced back to the isle where I had thought I had spotted Amelia but she was gone. Strange.

A tall, burly body guard named Ken ushered me backstage and trailed me through a maze of dancers, hairstylists, 5 wardrobe racks and finally off to Criss' large dressing room door.

Ken disappeared back towards into the sea of dancers and I knocked lightly on his door.

"Yeah?" Criss groaned seemed rather upset about something.

"It's me." I hollered.

There was a loud rustling sound in his room and finally he came to the door, cracking it only wide enough for his head to poke through.

"Hey, ummm.. Give me like 5 minutes…"

The door shut before I could reply.


"Look, it's not my fault that you left it in my bathroom." Amelia's eyes rolled as she tossed my wallet on the counter of my dressing room. "If anything I could have been a TOTAL bitch and racked up all your credit cards and THEN sold your license on E-Bay!"

I found that not even remotely funny and made a mental note to check all of my credit balances.

"Thank you for not being a bitch and returning it." I replied as I awkwardly glanced at the door, hoping that Melissa wasn't hearing anything of our conversation.

"Yeah, not a problem." Her arms folded into her chest as she watched me nervously pace the room.

"What's eating you Angel? Afraid she's going to find out?" She whispered as she took a step closer to me.

I drew away with a squint.

"Honestly, I'm afraid of you." I replied.

"Good, I like it that way… and you know something." She muttered as she saw herself out the door. "So do you as much as you hate to admit it."

Melissa immediately stepped inside after her and shot me a crooked glance.

"What the hell was all that about?"

"It's a long story. I guess she was at the show tonight and decided to sneak back here and say hello… she's visiting with Kelly, I take it." I rambled.

"Uh-Huh… visiting with Kelly… great… the more the merrier. It just keeps getting better, doesn't it?" Her eyes rolled and I nodded.

"Oh, it sure fucking does."

I laid there awake starring at the ceiling trying to focus my mind on something other than all of the nonsensical crap that was floating around inside of it. So many things were plummeting through my brain. Amelia, Melissa, Kelly and her son, work… some more crap with work… my family, but mostly what in the hell had made me react to Amelia like I had. The guilt inside me just kept piling and building and every time I lied I knew it was all going to end up biting me in the ass in the end and ultimately slaughtering Melissa's already fragile perspective of men. I only had two options, tell her the truth myself or let the truth eventually unravel.

Melissa rolled over in her own unsettled sleep and wrapped her arm around my waist.

"Can't sleep either?" Her lips pecked my shoulder.

I nodded through the dark. "No, just thinking about random things. You?"

"Same." I felt her smooth leg run down mine and she lifted her body so that she was eye level with me. "I was also thinking about you, too."

"About me?" I questioned. "Good things, I hope."

She didn't say anything instead she kissed me so deeply that I nearly lost my breath.

"You tell me?" She finally asked as her lips searched for mine again.

"Melissa," I began completely taken back by her sensual mood. "Do you know what time in the morning it is?"

She chuckled lightly and rolled onto her back taking my arms with her so that I was hovering over her body.

"I'm well aware of what time it is and that is not deterring my mind any if that is the question you are asking me. Now, please… just kiss me."

I kissed her, my hands interlocking with hers and outstretching above her head. She moaned softly and I felt her legs submissively wrap themselves around my back. Between hungry kisses she directed my hand up her own shirt until I was cupping her left breast.

"Since when did you get so feisty?" I questioned through a chuckle.

"Since now, I'm tired of not getting what I want due to others holding me down. I want you, so I'm taking you." She replied indignantly.

I smirked. "Hmmm… taking me… really? Who says?"

"Me." Her hands reached downward and took hold of my ass and I couldn't help but to ravage her.

Until… Bam! My God forsaken conscience decided to kick in again at the most inopportune moment ever.

"Criss," Melissa questioned as I hesitated with her lifting her nightshirt over her head. "Wh-what's the matter?"

I sighed and carefully pulled her shirt back down to her waist. "I'm sorry, I can't do this…"

She laid there complacent for a long moment and said nothing.

"It has nothing to do with you baby. I just can't do this right now." I added.

She sat up a bit and nodded. "It's okay… better to have it be special then a passionate array of bullshit, right?"