Break Down Your Walls

Everyone sat in the waiting room waiting for news of Byakuya's heart surgery. They had been sitting there for 3 hours only knowing Ichigo and Shiro's father was doing the surgery. Shortly after Byakuya went into surgery his grandfather showed up with worry written all over his face Sen had to calm him down so he wouldn't have a heart attack. And shortly after Byakuya's grandfather came everyone's mother did too. And on top of all that, Renji was really torn up about the whole thing, he kept thinking he almost killed the man and it was freaking him out Shiro had to hold Renji's head on his shoulder just so Renji would calm down.

"Dad." Ichigo said when he finally saw Dr. Kurosaki coming down the hallway. "Is Byakuya okay?"

"Yes, the surgery went great." he answered with a cocky smirk.

"Can you tell us what was wrong with him because he didn't tell us anything." Ichigo asked.

"Okay, well, Byakuya's heart sometimes has trouble pumping blood and when he gets worked up his heart has a hard time moving fast enough to get the blood where it needs to go and it stops. Things like running and boxing could cause his heart to give out. Sex could cause it to give out. Heated arguments, things like that."

Renji's jaw dropped and then tears welled up in his eyes. Shiro hugged him. "Him and Byakuya were having an argument before this happened."

Isshin nodded in understanding. "Byakuya was born with this he knows his limits and he knew he needed this surgery. You did not almost kill him." a nurse came up to him and whispered in his ear. "Okay." he said to her. "He's awake but all of you can't see him tonight. I would say Renji and Mr. Kuchiki should go."

Renji and Genrei stood up and followed Dr. Kurosaki to Byakuya's room. Genrei went in first and spoke to him briefly before leaving the room and letting Renji speak to Byakuya. Renji didn't like what he saw Byakuya hooked up to all kinds of machines and it made him uncomfortable. "I'm sorry, baby, I love you and I'm sorry." he knew Byakuya was barely awake and wouldn't remember but he felt like he needed to say it out loud. "I'm going to make all the pain I caused up to you I promise."


Byakuya was in the hospital for two days when Dr. Kurosaki moved him to a bigger room and let everyone visit him at the same time, he also wanted to give everyone a run down of Byakuya's health so they all knew.

"So as I explained to you the other day Byakuya's heart can't function when his blood starts rushing so during his surgery I put in a pacemaker it'll regulate his heart rate at all times. Now, Byakuya, I want you to stay here for two weeks and then I want you on bedrest for a whole month, 30 days no less." Dr. Kurosaki said sternly.

"30 days?" Byakuya repeated. "I can't stay in bed for 30 days we're having a Halloween party this year and I have like 4 photo shoots in November."

"Oh yeah, you can't work at all. No business deals, no business meetings, so all night song writing sessions, no viewing new artists, no modeling gigs, nothing. You have to stay in bed for 30 days the only time you can get up is to bathe, use the bathroom, and eat. Also I want you to move your room to the first floor I don't want you using the stairs just yet. And eating, you, actually all of you" looked around the room at all the boys. "you need to start eating a lot healthier. No more Deep Fried Fridays. No more Soul Food Sundays. No more Tequila Tuesdays and all that other stuff."

"Its not that bad." Shinji lied he and everyone else knew the way they were eating was horrible but the food that's good for you is nasty.

"You deep fried a whole chocolate cake last week."

"That was the best idea we've ever had." Shinji said and every one else agreed.

Isshin rolled his eyes and shook his head. "And no sex."

Byakuya's eyes widened. "No sex? That's the only reason I take off work. It's my only stress reliever I get stressed out when I do yoga."

"Maybe you shouldn't work and do yoga at the same time." Toshiro suggested.

"Maybe you should shut the hell up." Byakuya snapped. "I can not not have sex."

"That's too bad and by no sex I mean no orgasms."

"What did I do to you?" Byakuya whined, he was on the verge of tears. "You cut me open I didn't cut you."

"Also," Dr. Kurosaki continued ignoring Byakuya. "Byakuya will be a lot more sensitive for the next couple months. It'll be easier to make him cry and make him angry."

"Did he become Shinji?" Ichigo said laughing making everyone else, except Shinji, laugh.

"Excuse you, I am in touch with my feelings." Shinji pouted.

"Didn't you cry the other day because someone ate the rest of the ham?" Starrk said.

"I was saving that ham for a sandwich." Shinji said rolling his eyes.

Isshin rolled his eyes. "Anyway, just be careful with what you say and do around him. Oh yeah, I forgot, when Byakuya does go home I want someone in his room at all times to make sure he is not working, except you." he said to Renji, who made a face. "I don't trust you not to get sucked in, literally."

"I have self control." Renji pouted.

"Not really." Shiro muttered.


After visiting Byakuya everyone went home and went their separate ways except Nnoitra he thought he'd go talk to Shiro who was in his room.

"Come in." Shiro said when he heard a knock on his door. "Oh, hey." he said when Nnoitra stepped in. "You know we should go on a date or something." Shiro was flipping channels and not really paying attention but when he didn't get a response he looked at Nnoitra. "Were you going to ask that?" Shiro sat up. "I'm sorry, you can ask if you want to." Shiro wished he had more tact and was more subtle like the others.

"No, its fine. I like when people say what their thinking." Nnoitra smiled. "So we'll go later tonight, how about 8?"

"We can't go now?"

"You wanna go like that? I don't care but I just thought you wanted to wear jeans or something."

Shiro looked down at his attire he wore basketball shorts and a wife beater to the hospital and he just forgot he had it on. "Um I think I'll go talk to the others but 8 is good."

"8 it is." Nnoitra left the room feeling weird, he was happy but it was odd how happy he was he also never asked anyone on a date before.


"Um Ichi." Shiro said knocking on the door and then opening it.

"What." Ichigo said not looking at the Shiro in the doorway he and Grimmjow were playing Uno and he couldn't lose.

"Nnoi asked me on a date."

Ichigo put his cards down. "You gotta go." he told Grimmjow who gave him a look. "Out. Take a picture of your cards so you remember but you gotta go."

Grimmjow rolled his eyes but stood up. "Fine." he huffed.

"You stay here I'm getting the others." Ichigo told Shiro when Grimmjow left.

"Its not that big of a deal." Shiro said sitting down on the bed.

"Its that big of a deal." Ichigo said as he called Shinji. "Where you at?"

"The kitchen." Shinji answered.

"Well hurry up, Shiro's got a date tonight."

"Ooo a date." Shinji said excitedly.

"I'm calling Tosh now." Ichigo called Tosh. "Hey come to my room, Shiro's got a date."

"Okay, I'm coming." Toshiro said leaving Ulquiorra's room where he always was.

Ichigo called Renji. "Red, Shiro's got a date."

"A date? With who?" Renji asked

"Oh yeah you weren't here." Ichigo said. "Nnoi has a crush on Shiro and a few nights ago they talked and Shiro kissed him on the cheek and now they're going on a date."

"Okay I'm on my way."

"Guys, its not that serious." Shiro said when everyone came up to Ichigo's room.

"It is that serious," Shinji said. "its your first date. You've never been on a date before this is important."

"You make me sound pathetic, I'm 25 years old and I've never been on a date." Shiro huffed rolling his eyes.

"You're not pathetic." Tosh said glaring at Shinji. "Some people don't have sex til they're like 40."

Shiro sighed, he fucked up, for a brief moment he forgot his friends were crazy. "I just need you guys to make sure I look nice."

"When is this date?" Renji said.

"8." Shiro answered.

"You only got an hour and a half to look nice." Ichigo said.

"What do you mean? I can't just get dressed."

"No you have to shower and make sure you smell real good and make sure your hair looks nice and your breath smells nice." Shinji said.

"What? Is this why you fuck random guys off the street this sounds like a lot. I already showered and brushed my teeth today and my hair is fine."

Tosh looked Shiro up and down. "You think so?"


"The next time we go on a date," Shiro huffed getting in the car with Nnoitra for their date. "we're not telling anyone."

Nnoitra laughed. "Are they that annoying?"

"They are just so..." Shiro looked at Nnoi who was in the driver's seat and had already started the car. "You're not allowed to drive."

"I can drive, though."

"I'll take the keys." Shiro held his hand out.

"But I can..."

"No." Nnoitra rolled his eyes and handed Shiro the keys. They quickly switched seats and then Shiro when on with his rant about his friends. "They are just so fucking irritating. 'Shiro fix your hair.' 'Shiro fix your clothes.' 'No, Shiro you can't go naked'" he mocked.

"Why couldn't you go naked?" Nnoitra grinned.

"Cause it's not sanitary to go to a restaurant naked. I'm clean though." Shiro slammed on the breaks. "What the fuck are you doing?" he screamed out the window.

"They'll give anybody a license." Nnoitra muttered under his breath.

Shiro heard him. "Excuse you."


"I just wanna have sex and go home." Byakuya whined to his cousin who stayed at the hospital with him.

"Shut up." Sen said rolling his eyes flipping channels. "You've been whining about that for 2 hours it's just sex."

"Clearly, you've never had an orgasm before."

"Or I'm not a sex addict."

"Or you've never had an orgasm before." Byakuya stuck his tongue out at the back of his cousin's head.

"Whatever. How are you and um..." Sen forgot Renji's name again.

"Renji?"

"Renij doing."

Byakuya rolled his eyes. "I don't know." he sighed. "Part of me wants to forget he left but the other part of me wants to punch him in the face again and then get back together."

"So..?"

"I'm still in love with him. I wish I wasn't though."

"But Bya you're always in love. Remember your first boyfriend the 'photographer' you loved him more than anything but then he cheated on you. And then there was the 'producer' you loved more than anything and you cheated on him. And there was the model.."

"No air quotes?"

"I saw him in a magazine the other day. You loved the model more than anything but you two just stopped talking. And then there was the trust fund baby you loved more than anything but you he didn't trust you. And then there was the regular man with a real job you loved more than anything but you didn't trust him."

"What is your point?"

"You're always in love."

"But this time is difference."

"You say that every time."

"I know but..."

"I'm not saying you don't love him I'm just saying what makes him different then the others."


Ulquiorra and Tosh were in the studio making beats, Tosh had a side hustle where he's sell his beats to singers and sometimes he'd make deals with Byakuya who would sometimes write songs to his beats. Tosh and Ulqui knew they needed to make more songs for the album so they decided to make as many beats as they could and then present them to everyone so they could write songs and Ulquiorra already knew who he'd give the first beat to.

"I'll text Grimm, he always has a song in his head." Ulquiorra said with his phone in his hand.

"He's dealing with Ichigo's crap so it should be a good song." Ulquiorra held his hand out for a high five after he sent Grimmjow a text. "With our friends we should have this album done in no time."

"Are you going to put anything on the album?" Ulquiorra swiveled his chair around so he could look at Tosh.

"I kinda am, aren't I?"

"You know what I mean?"

Tosh shrugged. "I don't know. I'm not really a song writer like everyone else I'm not that in touch with my feelings. Are you going to write a song?"

"I don't usually write songs for albums but I'll write one if you write one."

Tosh looked at Ulquiorra for a moment. "Deal."

Grimmjow walked into the studio. "Alright, what you call me down here for?"

"We wanna know if you have a song for the album yet?" Tosh said.

"I might."

Tosh rolled his eyes at Grimmjow. "Is it done?"

"For the most part."

Tosh looked at Ulquiorra for a minute, Grimmjow was being annoying. "We might have some beats for you."

"Good, that's the only thing I'm missing."

"Obviously. Just listen to this." Toshiro played the first track him and Ulquiorra made.

Grimmjow listened and he liked what he heard, since he met Ichigo he had been writing a few songs about him and they're 'relationship' he wrote about different possibilities and outcomes and he felt he had a good song on his hands. "Nothing is forever, nothing would be better than the love you're giving me." he sang quietly. He looked up at Tosh and Ulqui when the music was over. "Play it again from the beginning." a few seconds in Grimmjow stood up. "Alright I'm ready."

(Nothing would be better - Nick Jonas)

Nothing is forever, nothing would be better
Than the love you're giving me
I just gotta have you, wish you didn't have too
When you gonna set me free?

Like it or not, we were doomed from the start
I know that you'll agree
But nothing is forever, nothing would be better
Better than you and me

Than you and me
Than you and...

Ulquiorra and Toshiro high fived and kissed quickly. "I have to call Byakuya." Toshiro said taking out his phone.

"Hello." Byakuya said.

"Listen." Toshiro said putting the phone on speaker so Byakuya could hear Grimmjow.

I take the worst of what you got
It hurts more than sticks and rocks
You know I'll be there
You know I'll be there
And I would be a punching bag
Throw it all and don't hold back
Still I'll be there
You know I'll be there

"Yes!" Byakuya cheered "Thank god, I was beginning to think you weren't going to get the album done."

"You know it takes a while to write an album." Tosh said.

"Well hurry the hell up. I gotta go." Byakuya hung up.

Cause I used to live in fear, it was my home
But there are harder things to be than all alone
You're the broken part of me that makes me whole
But so unsure
Nothing is forever, nothing would be better
Than the love you're giving me
I just gotta have you
Wish I didn't have too
When you gonna set me free?
Like it or not, we were doomed from the start
I know that you'll agree
But nothing is forever, nothing would be better
Better than you and me

Than you and me
Than you and me

We don't turn around unless we're throwing stones
And we're crawling like there's cracks all in our bones
You're the broken part of me that makes me whole
But so unsure

Ichigo knew Grimmjow had been called down to the studio and he told Grimmjow and himself that he wasn't going with him but he wanted to know what was going on so he made his way to the studio.

Nothing is forever, nothing would be better
Than the love you're giving me
And I just gotta have you
Wish I didn't have too
When You're gonna set me free?
Like it or not, we were doomed from the start
And I know that you'll agree
But nothing is forever, nothing would be better
Better than you and me

Ichigo listened to the words Grimmjow sang and they scared him but it was only because he felt the same way and he refused to let himself fall again.


Shiro and Nniotra had a very nice dinner, they talked and laughed and they both knew they had something between them but Nnoitra could feel that Shiro was holding back. He could feel that Shiro was afraid to open up but he would give the man time to open up to him he liked Shiro a lot and was willing to wait.

After dinner Shiro let Nnoitra drive since the man said he was a better driver even though he only had one eye. Shiro turned the radio and was excited one of his favorite songs was on 'Creep' by Radiohead.

"I love this song." Nnoitra and Shiro said at the same time. They looked at each other and then Shiro turned the radio up.

When you were here before,
Couldn't look you in the eye,
You're just like an angel,
Your skin makes me cry,
You float like a feather,
In a beautiful world,
I wish I was special,
You're so very special.

But I'm a creep, I'm a weirdo,
What the hell am I doing here?
I don't belong here.

They both sang out loud and Nnoi drummed on the steering wheel. Nnoitra had never really liked singing in front of people simply because he couldn't sing and Shiro never liked singing with anyone but for some reason he liked singing with Nnoitra it made it funner.

Whatever makes you happy,
Whatever you want,
You're so very special,
I wish I was special...
But I'm a creep, I'm a weirdo,
What the hell am I doing here?
I don't belong here,
I don't belong here.

When they finished singing they stared into each others eyes for moment but they were rudely interrupted by a car horn. "Hey, fuck you." Shiro yelled out the window. They rode the rest of the way in silence but they were stealing glances at one another every once in a while until they got home. "I have never been on a date before but I'm pretty sure this date went well. I had fun." Shiro leaned over to kiss Nnoitra's cheek but Nnoitra turned to say something and their lips met. "Sorry." Shiro said pulling back. Nnoitra looked at Shiro, he put his hand on the back of Shiro's head and then pulled him in for another kiss.

Shiro felt Nnoitra's tongue touch his lip so he let it enter his mouth and he liked it. It felt good to be kissed like that but then he felt Nnoitra's fingers tighten in his hair and he had a flash back of abusive ex grabbing his hair roughly and the next thing he knew he had punched Nnoitra in the face. Shiro looked at Nnoitra with wide eyes. "Oh my god I'm so sorry." Shiro reached behind him for the door handle and as soon as he got the door open he ran out of the car into the house and straight to his room.

Nnoitra stayed in the car for a minute holding a hand to his face reliving the last few moments and then he remembered that Shiro was in an abusive relationship and things clicked for him. Nnoitra grabbed Shiro's hair a little too tightly and Shiro had flashbacks, Nnoitra's mother used to have them all the time and sometimes she still does. Nnoitra got out of the car and followed Shiro's path to his bedroom, he knocked on the locked door.

"Shiro." he said. "I'm not mad at you even though my face hurts." he chuckled a little and then listened to the door.

"I'm sorry." Shiro said through the door.

"Its okay, I get it you had a flashback it happens."

"Maybe I'm not ready for a relationship."

"I'm not trying to get in one, I just... maybe we should just take it slow spend time together as friends. Little Nel will be coming over in a couple weeks and she'll want to spend time with you."

It was silent for a minute but then Shiro unlocked the door and stuck his head out. "You sure?"

"Yeah."

Shiro came all the way out of the room and then winced when he saw Nnoitra's face already bruising. "I'm so sorry." he said reaching up to touch it.

"Its fine, I've been punched in the face before I usually punch them back but I'll let this one go." Shiro smiled and stood up on his tip toes to kiss Nnoitra on the cheek. "Friends don't kiss."

"My friends do."

"Your friends are nasty they have sex with each other."

"Only Ichi, Shinji, and Renji."


Ichigo woke up in Grimmjow's bed like he had been doing more and more often he had turned in the bed and noticed Grimmjow wasn't there and for a split second he got scared but then he remembered Grimmjow was outside running on the track but then real fear came. Ichigo quickly got out of bed and got dressed, he had to get away from Grimmjow he had to stop seeing him. Grimmjow was starting to get too close to his heart and Ichigo had to do whatever he could to stop him he promised himself he'd never fall in love again and he meant it.

"Where you going?" Grimmjow said walking into his room wiping the sweat from his face, he walked up behind Ichigo and kissed his neck. "I was hoping for some shower sex."

Ichigo pushed Grimmjow away from him. "I can't. I can't do that."

Grimmjow grinned he was used to Ichigo's hot and cold emotions but he knew he'd always fall into his arms. "Why not?" Grimmjow leaned in to kiss Ichigo. "You always go for shower sex."

Ichigo pushed Grimmjow away again. "Because I can't. Uh I don't think we should see each other anymore you know like this and I don't think we should spend as much time together."

No Grimmjow was getting confused. "Why? Why the sudden change?"

"I just don't think we need to.. to as close as we are." Ichigo tried making his way out of the room but Grimmjow grabbed his arm.

"Is this about your ex?"

"No." Ichigo lied taking his arm out of Grimmjow's grasp.

"I'm not going to do you like he did."

"I don't know that, Grimm."

"Why can't you just take my word it?"

"Because I can't so we'll just stay away from each other that's what's best."

"For you."

Ichigo looked at Grimmjow, the man was heartbroken he could tell but Ichigo would do whatever he had to do to protect his heart even if that meant hurting the one person who understood everything about him. "You gotta do what you gotta do." Ichigo left Grimmjow's room, he didn't think it would be that hard but it was and that's why he had to leave there was no way he could let this go on.


Shinji heard a knock on the door and sat up in his bed he looked at the alarm clock on his nightstand. "It is 10 am." he huffed rubbing his eyes. "Can't I just sleep. What!" he snapped snatching the door open it was Ichigo and he had tears streaming down his face. Shinji pulled his best friend into a hug he saw this coming Ichigo's fear of falling in love was too strong and Ichigo was too stubborn to just let things happen the way they're supposed to happen.


I hate doctors XP