-11-
When Jonathan awoke the next morning, the humid heat of the sun was beating down on his back and the side of his face, through the window. Slowly, he became aware of the warm body beneath him, chest rising and falling steadily against his cheek. He hummed, kissing the soft skin his lips met with and sleepily propped himself up on an elbow. His pelvis was still between his sisters thighs, her legs tangled with his and the condom from the night before hanging off the end of his limp penis. He retrieved tissue from the box on his bedside table and wrapped the sticky rubber in it, tossing it onto the floor beside the bed.
He yawned as he glanced towards his clock, which told him it was seven-fifteen. Clary was as quiet as a dor mouse under him, breathing through her mouth and fiery curls obscuring half of her face. Jonathan nestled into the side of her neck, pressing butterfly kisses up and down the sensitive skin found there. He felt her stirring, her arms coming up around him and a hand twisting into his ivory locks.
'You smell like me,' he said into her mind, smirking as he gave her earlobe a flick with his tongue. She sighed, not fully awake yet, hooking a leg around his waist as her fingertips traced his marked shoulder blades. Jonathan raised his head, brushing his sister's hair behind her ears as she gradually blinked her eyes open.
As he studied her freckled face, watching the corners of her mouth turn up into a blissful smile, he felt his dick twitch between her legs. She ran her fingers through his tousled hair and then guided his lips to hers, her leg tightening around him. The kiss was short lived however, due to Clary pulling back with an anxious expression.
'Jonathan, you're leaving today…' her voice was a tense murmur inside his head as he stared down into her wide green eyes. He nodded slightly, before Clary sat up, hugging him to her in a death-grip.
'I won't be gone forever,' he attempted to soothe her, kissing her shoulder and rubbing her back in circular motions.
'I don't want you gone at all,' she replied fiercely, but he heard her sniff and felt the moisture dampening the base of his neck. He pulled away to cup her face in his hands, wiping the tears away with his thumbs.
'I'll come back. I promise.' He held her glistening emerald eyes in his fathomless onyx ones until she nodded weakly, placing her hands over his. He brought his mouth down on hers tentatively, tasting the salty tang of her tears, before proceeding to bestow velvet presses of his lips to every inch of her body, beginning with the palm of her hand and moving down to the crease of her elbow.
He was going to make the most of their last moment of privacy, not caring if either of their parents walked in. Soon, Clary was going to be out of his life completely, not even in the same country. This was the last time she was going to be exactly where she was right now and he was going to prolong it for as long as he possibly could. He would hold onto the memory of this moment for all the time that he was away from her, until he found his way back to her and they could start over with new memories.
'Do you think we'll still be able to hear each other?' his sister's voice floated into his head, breaking his concentration as he kissed her inner thigh; her tone was less than hopeful, sounding vacant.
'Probably not…' he answered truthfully, moving to kiss her stomach.
'What am I going to do without you…?' she responded, her voice a woeful murmur. He swallowed and wet his lips, crawling back up her body.
'You won't give up,' he told her, a determined edge to his tone. 'You'll go on, living your life.'
'And you'll do the same?'
'Yes,' Jonathan touched his mouth to her temple and her nose and finally her jaw.
'What if we ran away?' she asked, playing with a lock of his hair. Jonathan sighed, leaning his forehead on hers.
'And where would we go?' he questioned easily, counting the gold flecks in her green eyes.
'Anywhere,' she shrugged half-heartedly, leaning up to nibble on his bottom lip. 'We could go anywhere we wanted…' he gave her a chaste kiss on the mouth, lingering for a few seconds.
'We can't.' He ran his tongue over her throat, feeling her shiver beneath him, a sigh escaping her lips.
'But what if you forget me?' she asked, starting to sound breathless as he sucked at the side of her neck.
'You'd sooner forget me,' he replied serenely, as he dragged a hand down over her chest to curve around to her bum, which he squeezed provocatively.
'I want you…' Clary moaned as he took her left breast into his mouth, sucking on it vigorously.
He lifted his face to look her in the eyes, love smouldering in his own. 'You have me. You will always have me.'
"You're sure you have everything?" Jonathan cast his eye around the bedroom a final time as his mother stood patiently in the doorway.
"Yes…" he nodded, turning to look at her and receiving a smile of encouragement. He returned it faintly, before slinging the strap of his rucksack over his shoulder and moving to stand before her, where she placed her hand on his arm.
"We'll call you once a week, okay?" she said in a matter of fact tone, brushing invisible fluff off his t-shirt.
"You and Dad?" he clarified with a guarded expression.
"Yeah," he looked away from her wide, sympathetic eyes, so like his sisters. "Clary will be starting sixth form in the fall, so she'll be busy…"
"She won't be allowed to write to me either?" he asked bluntly, jaw clenching as his mother began to shake her head.
"No contact," she murmured, taking a breath as Jonathan briefly closed his eyes. "This is a fresh start for both of you. You need to learn how to…breathe without each other. Do you understand…?" he opened his eyes, not looking at his mother as he nodded.
"Time to go!" Valentine called from the front room. After a pause, Jonathan headed out to where his father was waiting with his hand resting on Clary's shoulder, Jocelyn following behind. "Ready?"
The white haired boy looked at his sister, who was standing close to their father with her eyes downcast; she looked so tiny and lost that for a second, he pictured himself tucking her into the side-pocket of his bag and taking her with him. But Clary wasn't a doll, she was a human being and their father had been right- this was for the best. He met Valentines enigmatic gaze and gave a firm nod.
"Let's get this over with."
The car ride to the airport was silent, a blanket of frigid air hanging over them, despite the temperature. Jonathan sat with his window rolled all the way down and his head leaning against the frame. Clary was sat on the opposite side of the BMW, in much the same fashion, although her chin was resting on her fist.
He'd been thinking about the promise he'd made her that morning- that he would come back. He was starting to have doubts over whether it had been a wise decision to make. He didn't want his sister to wait for him…
The right thing to do would be to leave and never return. However after everything that had happened, he no longer felt strong enough to stay away, to let her go. He didn't want her to find someone else- she was his and his alone. Except she wasn't; he belonged to her and she could do as she pleased with him.
All these conflicting thoughts and emotions swimming around in his head were giving him a splitting headache. But it all boiled down to one simple fact: he didn't want to go. He'd almost tricked himself into believing he was okay with it- that he'd survive somehow- but in all honesty, he didn't want to leave his sisters side even for a second. He felt like he was a kid again, at Clary's fifth birthday party, clinging to the folds of her dress, nervous and fearful of the surrounding children and their parents.
He reached out to take her hand in his, seeking solace as he kept his eyes straight ahead.
Clary closed her eyes as her brothers fingers entwined with hers. He was saying goodbye, she knew it, but she couldn't handle it. She felt like she was bleeding internally, as if she'd donated her heart to him, forgetting that she was still alive and in need of it. She would never say goodbye, not even if she had to spend the rest of her life without him. She would continue to wait for him, whether he came back for her or not.
'Clary,' she looked over at him, only now noticing the tears that had spilled down her cheeks. Jonathan was looking at her with haunted eyes, his hand tightening in hers. 'Don't cry, my love…'
'I can't help it,' she sniffed, scrubbing at her face with her free hand, looking away from his black eyes. She couldn't look at him, while knowing their time together was limited. 'I'm never gonna see you again, am I-?'
"We're here."
Clary watched in devastation as her brother said his goodbyes to their parents. She kept thinking their father was going to turn around and declare that he'd changed his mind and Jonathan could stay. Or that this would all turn out to be some elaborate prank that was never going to be funny.
"Mother…" the redhead took a shaky breath as Jonathan hugged Jocelyn, his eyes closing. To any of the dozens of passersby, he looked peaceful- perhaps assuming that this was a welcome home, rather than a farewell. But Clary saw panic, from the accelerated pulse in his neck to the tongue that darted out to wet his lips.
"I love you, honey," Jocelyn was saying, pulling back to cup her sons face and kiss him on the cheek. "Take care of yourself,"
"Love you too," Jonathan responded, colour rising along his cheekbones as a timid look crossed his face, before he moved on to Valentine. "Dad…"
"Jonathan," their father nodded stoically, putting his hand out. Her brother shook it twice, before Valentine enveloped him in a hug.
Jonathan said something under his breath, which sounded like, "…take care of her…"
Clary found herself yearning for her brother's touch, wanting him to hold her in his strong arms until the end of time.
"As I always have done," their father pledged, giving his son a hearty pat on the back.
"Thank you." Jonathan straightened up, his eyes shining suspiciously as they strayed back towards Clary, who looked away.
"You never know, you might like it in Germany; you might not want to come back," Valentine said, arm wrapping around his wife, who had curled into his side.
"Maybe…" Clary wanted to run; run as far away from here as possible and keep on running until she could no longer remember who she was, or who her brother was to her. She hadn't realised her eyes were closed until she felt Jonathans arms encircle her shoulders, tucking her head under his chin.
'Clary,' he breathed into her mind, a note of torment tainting his tone. Her hands fisted in his t-shirt as she pressed her face into his chest, inhaling his scent, the scent she loved. She felt his head lower to her shoulder, where their parents couldn't see, with his lips hovering next to her ear. "I love you."
Clary sobbed, sagging against him and clinging tighter to his t-shirt. Tiny gasps were falling from her lips as her brother pulled away, unfastening her grip on him and stepping away. She looked up at him imploringly; his eyes were like panels of glass painted black, her emerald gems shattering against them.
"Well, behave for your uncle," Valentine began imperiously, causing their moment to break and dissolve into nothingness. Clary bowed her head, clutching her elbows as her brothers gaze flickered back to their parents.
"And work hard," Jocelyn added, her hand resting on her husbands chest.
"And remember: you're our son and we love you." Valentine finished, meaning softening his dark eyes as he returned his wife's smile.
"I won't forget."
Clary slowly raised her head as her brother began walking away from them, away from her. It was her nightmare returned to her, except this wasn't a field of magnolias and she wasn't trapped in a six year olds body.
"Jonathan!" she simultaneously screamed aloud and into his thoughts. He jolted to a stop, his hand going to his head as he turned to look at her, visibly wide-eyed. 'I love you.' She whispered along the frequency connecting their minds, mouthing the words as she did. His mouth quirked up on one side even as his eyes shone with heartache. He lifted his hand slightly, in the gesture he'd used when they were children. And she knew: regardless of the distance, he would come home to her, eventually.
Watching him go, Clary smiled through her tears, turning into her father's side as he wordlessly held his arm out for her.
~4 Days Later~
It was Wednesday afternoon and Simon Lewis was slouching through the school doors, shouldering past the other students as they stopped to talk, or waited for friends. The boy with the thick, dark brown hair paused on the bottom step to remove his glasses and polish them with his tie. His last lesson of the day had been P.E. and he was bone-tired, his knee throbbing mildly from attempting to retrieve the football from the opposing team, only to slip and skid across the Astroturf.
He sighed as he pushed his rectangular glasses back onto his face, his vision clearing. He started towards the gate and then slowed, glimpsing a flash of red up ahead, amongst the crowd. His legs carried him forward again, jogging to catch up as his bag bounced rather uncomfortably, against his back.
"Clary!" he called, jostling a blond boy, who promptly glared at him. "Clary," the redhead stopped, spinning around so fast that she startled him half to death. There was an ardent light in her eyes, not unlike hope, but it soon dimmed and faded away as she took in Simons face.
"Oh…" was all she said, her shadowed, green eyes wandering off to the side, as if caught up in her own world.
"I…heard about your brother…" Simon began, scratching the back of his neck and watching his ex-best friends entire frame stiffen. "Your mum told my mum…" he shrugged awkwardly, wincing at himself.
"Our parents found out," she murmured almost wistfully, her gaze still glazed over and angled away from him. "They sent Jonathan away…" something changed in her face and her eyes snapped up to his, a question forming in them. Was there something you wanted?
"I was wondering if you might…wanna come round? You know, to watch anime or we could watch the Matrix trilogy or-"
"So now that he's gone, you wanna be friends again?" Clary said harshly, dead behind her eyes.
"No, that's not why I-" Simon began, hastily trying to back-track.
"Just say it! You're glad he's gone- everybody's glad he's gone; I mean, why wouldn't they be? What a relief it must be!" Clary looked and sounded half-wild, but the whites of her eyes had turned pink, water welling up to skirt the rims. "What are you looking at?!" she hissed, scowling at the students who had stopped to stare at her outburst. Simon put his hands on her shoulders, regaining her attention and locking her manic gaze with his coffee-coloured one.
"You're right, I was glad when I found out he'd gone. I was relieved. But I'm not anymore, because I can see what its doing to you. You look terrible, Clary…you look like you need a friend. And it's fine if you don't want to see me or talk to me- but you need someone," she bit her lip, blinking as the tears began to fall. "I won't stand by and watch you crumble away."
"I need him…" she whispered, her voice cracking as she squeezed her eyes shut, as if she could close them to the truth of her words. Simon cautiously pulled her into his arms, resting his cheek against her unruly curls.
"I know, Clary, I know…it's gonna be okay…I'm here…you're gonna be okay…" he rocked her gently from side to side, as his shirt soaked up the salt-water.
"I don't know if I can do this, Simon…" she croaked, shaking her head as she sobbed.
"You can, Clary. You're strong, you always have been. You can do this," he told her, rubbing her back supportively.
"I don't know how to live without him…" she confided, small gasps making their way out of her mouth.
"Then you'll learn to," he reassured her, pulling back to look into her distraught eyes. "And I'll be here every step of the way, if you ever need me…" she nodded, swallowing hard before a grateful smile morphed her tear-streaked features.
"Okay…" she murmured meekly, her breath hitching again as she roughly wiped her face on her arm. "Okay."
I like to imagine the blond boy that glared at Simon was Jace :P
Is this...the end...?
