Lionel/azul renge/Loreto W/JGranger21/Rainb0wNinja/Mayuzu/XDARKERXDESIREX/OchibiOtaku/ougley/XXanime. Manga-it-calls-meXX/sound effect guy/Guest/ .Saraa/x615Butterflyx/Hollow Ichigo-Ichigo/AmbieLovina/IILesGeMeAuxII/ShadowsOfPenAndPaper/Guest/Nekokratik
Watch Me Remember
By Curiosity Killed Kristy
[Chapter 12: Smile]
He smiled.
Giggled a bit.
And I couldn't help but return it.
"S-sorry, I think I got a bit carried away…" he apologized.
He blushed with intensity.
His smile so bright it countered the moonlight.
"No, I…" He looked at me with expectancy. "I've been wanting to do that to you for a while now…"
He fiddled with his fingers.
Smiled up at me again.
And my heart warmed.
He was finally smiling at me.
For me.
"Thanks for tonight, again… It made me feel…"
He pondered for a word.
Wracked his mind for anything to describe what he experienced with me.
"It made everything feel so natural," he finished.
His eyes twinkled with something I couldn't quite define.
It was the first time I'd ever seen that expression in those eyes.
"Hmph…" I smiled to myself.
Covered my cheeks, coloring a bright red.
"That's funny 'cause… I felt like I was doing something right for once…"
He blinked up at me.
Snow fell around us like an iridescent box.
And he glanced down at his feet, and really smiled.
Teeth displayed.
Eyes crinkled at the corners with gladness.
"Good night, Grimmjow…"
He squeezed my hands a final time, before releasing me and turning the knob.
He looked at me one more time.
And I knew that from now on, my feelings were only getting stronger.
And that I wanted him to reciprocate that.
XXXX
"Grimmjow, what's up with you tonight?"
I looked at him, and I could see the plain skepticism on his face.
He felt my forehead, and his eyebrows furrowed.
"Damn, Grimmjow. Go lie down; I'll give you some medicine in a sec."
I collapsed onto the couch, and watched as he zipped into the kitchen.
He came toddling back, feeding me the spoon, and I could see the worry etched on his angelic features.
I combed through some of his orange spikes, and I could make out the surprise displayed in his eyes.
I stroked his cheek, and he leaned into the touch.
"Really, what's up with you, Grimmjow? Is it the fever?"
I could tell that tears were about to spring in his eyes.
And through that, I could probe into his thoughts.
He rarely saw me so affectionate…
And he thought the cause of my soft gestures was because of the sickness…
Why couldn't he just show me this side of him every day?
Why does a measly fever have to occur to make him act this way towards me?
Why can't he love me as much as I love him?
The thoughts were so easy to see in those warm, brown eyes, now turning muddy and weeping tears.
I guided his face towards me, and his breaths quickened.
And our lips melded.
And I could hear his heart beat like a siren.
Please love me…
And as he sat on top of my lap, and I rolled us over, it was made clear…
This was all he had ever wanted from me…
My reciprocation.
And if it was only through a fever, why couldn't he have it?
As I began to enter him, his lips screamed anticipation, his fingers trembling against my skin, and his eyes speaking of love in its purest form.
If only I had seen it then.
If only I had felt it.
"Grimmjow…"
XXXX
I opened my eyes.
I heard the incessant banging on my door.
It took me a few seconds to react.
Blinked.
Noticed that I was in my room, and that everything I had just felt was a memory of the past…
I sighed; scratched at my unruly hair.
Snatched the blanket off of my lower body, and the stain was made clear on my boxers.
Damn it all!
Am I some teen or somethin'?
Having a wet dream at this age?
The banging on the door brought me back to reality.
"I'm coming! Fuck…" I hissed beneath my breath.
I tugged on a random dresser drawer, tucking some jeans in to my arm, and discarding my dirtied boxers.
After tugging on the jeans, I briskly walked to the door, prepared to shoot this person into oblivion with my words alone.
But when I saw him, my words immediately halted themselves.
He looked up at me with a raised eyebrow, his expression suddenly molding into confusion, astonishment, and then bashfulness.
"I-I didn't know you lived here, Grimmjow," he explained.
I scratched at my hair in frustration.
"What're ya doin' here, kid?"
He turned a nasty glare onto me.
"I'm not a kid, so you can cut the old-man act now," he warned.
I smiled. Mussed his white hair.
"I'm just messing with'cha. Now what brings ya here, Toshiro? You ain't stalkin' me now, are ya?" I teased.
"No!" he protested. "I-I was just wondering if you'd ever seen this dog…"
Now that it came to my attention, he had a flyer in his hand, which I snatched out of his hands.
He immediately tried to steal it back.
"Grimmjow, what the hell!"
I scrutinized the picture. It looked like a Japanese Akita; huge as hell, too.
The fur was a mixture of orange-red on the top, and white throughout its front-side.
Its beady, yellow eyes stared at me with this certain intimidating glance.
"So this is your dog?" I handed him the flyer, which he willingly seized from my fingers.
He nodded his head, and for once, I actually saw a sad child, though I knew he was trying to hide it.
"I'm asking around the neighborhood if they saw him, but so far no one has…"
He looked completely devastated, and as much as he wanted to act like an adult, his childish characteristics were peaking through.
"…Wanna come inside for now? I can give ya somethin' to drink."
The kid looked like he was gonna pass out any moment.
And I was left wondering how long he had been searching for this dog.
He nodded his consent, and stepped into the house, toeing off his shoes.
He didn't seem to particularly care for the furniture or make-up of the apartment, and for that I was grateful.
I fetched him some lemonade, and he willingly accepted.
The more I kept looking at him, the more I saw how depressed he was.
It was a shocker when I usually saw him so lively with anger, or more emotionless than a brick.
I felt the room get stuffy with silence, and I knew sure as hell he wasn't going to interrupt it.
I cleared my throat.
"What's yer dog's name?"
He glanced up at me, quite surprised.
But the surprise quickly reverted back to depression.
"Sajin," he answered with a bite of attitude back in his tone.
I nodded in understanding.
"How long have you had him?"
He seemed to hesitate before answering with "eleven years."
After that, it was silent again.
He spun the empty cup in his hand.
My eyes kept darting back to the clock, avoiding the awkwardness that was him.
"You live alone?" he asked suddenly.
I grinned. "Is it obvious?"
"Well, we're the only ones here." He rolled his eyes, and crossed his arms.
"Why ya gotta have an attitude every time you speak?"
"This is how I normally speak."
"I bet yer sister wouldn't approve of it," I smiled.
And for a moment, I half-expected him to retaliate even more.
But he didn't.
He just sat there.
As if I just announced that a serial killer was targeting him next.
And then that masked face of his returned.
"She doesn't care…"
I saw his jaw clench.
His fingers tucking inside the palms.
Abruptly, the tension in the air dissipated when a soft knocking at the door sounded.
Both of us stiffened from the sudden intrusion, my feet striding me over to the door.
When I saw him, it brought an immediate smile on my face.
"Ichigo, what are you doing here?"
He smiled at me, lifting bento in his hands.
"Yoruichi had brought some bento to Renji's house. It turned out there was more than everyone could eat, so I thought to bring some…"
I grinned at the prospect that he came all this way just to share food with me.
Abruptly, my smile faded when I heard a clearing of a throat behind me.
Ichigo and I steered our eyes behind me, zeroing in on Toshiro.
"Um, did I come at a bad time?" Ichigo questioned timidly.
"No, I was just leaving," and with that, the white-haired prodigy jumped off of the stool, shoving Ichigo aside with a smoldering side-glare at me.
Ichigo and I watched him march off down the sidewalk, baffled as all hell.
"Uh… Who was that?" he inquired. I ran fingers through my hair.
"Just a kid from anger management class; we had lunch one time together."
"Aaah…" Ichigo picked his shoes off; strode into the kitchen.
Laid the bento over the counter, beginning to open and present what was inside.
And then I noticed it.
I didn't want anything to fill the silence.
It was just me and him.
"Here, Grimm," he offered, pushing the food towards me.
I smiled in return, poking my chopsticks into the food.
We laughed at a few things.
How the house remained the same after all these weeks.
How I've gotten even tidier without him.
"I think I've underestimated you all this time," he complimented.
I bumped shoulders with him.
"It ain't that bad."
He smiled again, laying the chopsticks atop the bento and saying his graces.
"Gimme yours, Grimm. I'll take it back to Renji's later…" he trailed off. "What's this?"
He picked up a random piece of paper on the counter, and when I examined it, my eyebrows rose.
"Toshiro forgot to take the flyer with him."
"He lost his dog?" Ichigo asked.
My silence answered for him. He continued to stare at the picture.
"It's huge," he commented.
I couldn't agree more.
"Why don't we try finding it?"
He looked up at me; as if he were surprised I'd actually suggested it.
"What?" I asked. He shook his head.
"Nothing, I just…" The corners of his lips rose. "Yeah, let's go find it."
XXXX
After I had showered and changed, Ichigo and I had exited the apartment, flyer in hand.
We asked pedestrians, random people, neighbors, people we somehow knew.
Just anyone.
And on the way, we collected some posters of Sajin taped to random store walls and cafes.
Probably all posted by Toshiro.
And I wondered yet again if he did this all by himself.
"She doesn't care…"
I frowned at the melancholic voice he used.
All I knew for sure was that he had more to him than met the eye.
"Oh, I saw that dog somewhere near the café at the end of the street an hour ago. I'm sorry that I couldn't help out more," the bald man said.
Ichigo waved it away. "No, it's a big help. Thank you, sir." He bowed to show his respect, and the man was well on his way.
"Come on, Grimm. I have a feeling that we'll find Sajin soon." He tugged on my wrist, and for just one moment in a second, I felt my heart soar.
Ichigo searched around the café, asking many people eating, and many who passed by if they saw Sajin.
It was admirable, really.
Even though Toshiro had treated him like dirt, he was going to this extent.
It just went to show that Ichigo was a person who cared for the well-being of others.
Particularly me…
I clenched my fists; closed my eyes.
And it only worsened when I saw that image of him in my arms, bleeding the sacrifice he made…
His memory…
"Grimm, we should order something before we go. I'm kinda hungry," he broke through my reverie.
I blinked. "Ah, sure. I'll pay."
"No, that's all right. I got it; what do ya want?"
And after that, we began to search again.
Hours passed on like a tick of a clock, and the food was long gone from our hands, excluding that of Ichigo's sugar cookies.
Said that he felt like saving it for later.
By the time the clock struck five, I was drained of my zealous energy and ready to give up.
Ichigo on the other hand was still trying.
"Ichi, it's getting late, and I don't want you looking after the dog by yourself."
Ichigo poked his head from around a building's corner.
"No, it's okay, Grimm. I can keep looking if you need to go to anger management class," he insisted.
I hesitated. Shifted onto my other foot.
I wasn't comfortable with the idea of Ichigo looking 'round by himself.
He was a man who could take care of himself.
But… it still left me uneasy.
And then the thought entered my mind.
I don't want to lose him again…
Ichigo was smart; he knew when things would turn out for the worst.
But he was also overly generous.
And that didn't always equate to good.
"Ichi-"
"Grimmjow! Look!" I followed where his finger pointed, and spots of orange and white flooded my vision.
There was that damn dog.
It was digging into some trash, stuffing its head inside and licking all the grime.
My nose wrinkled.
I really was never fond of dogs.
"Oh!" Ichigo exclaimed, reaching into his back pocket, sugar cookies dropping excess sprinkles on the ground.
The dog whipped its head towards us.
Ichigo slowly offered it to the dog, and it was clearly interested in what he was holding.
"Come 'ere, boy… It's okay, we won't hurt you," Ichigo cooed.
The dog slowly approached us, tail slightly tucked between its legs.
"That's it… easy now…"
I watched the dog sniff at the cookies, examining it, Ichigo's eyes brightening and his smile broadening.
Abruptly, the smile was swiped off of his face when the dog lunged for the cookies, and began to gallop away from us.
"Damn it!" I cursed.
Ichigo and I began to run after the fucking dog, swerving and jumping over the garbage it left behind, and jostling some people in our way.
It was comical.
But not that comical.
I swore that once I caught that dog, I would wring its neck.
"Come back here, you dirty-ass mutt!" I growled.
Instantly, the dog veered around a corner, Ichigo and I having to stop for breath, and skidding on our feet.
"Come on, Grimmjow! We're so close…" Ichigo goaded, wheezing as he did.
I breathed heavily through my nose.
"I'm gonna kill that dog…" I vowed with intensity.
We begun to sprint again, and for a second, we thought we had lost it.
But, it was quite the opposite.
The mongrel was wagging its tail vigorously, behaved and poised, sitting on its hind legs, and tongue hanging on the side of its mouth.
"Oh, you're a good boy, aren't you? Yes, you are!"
I sighed with relief inside.
Nel was petting the damn thing, kneeling on her knees, and cooing to it like it was a fucking baby.
"Oh, Grimmjow-san, is this your dog?" she asked, standing to her feet. The dog followed her with his eyes.
"Nah, a kid I know owns this dog. We've been lookin' for it practically the whole day, and now we've finally caught it," I explained.
She giggled.
"Must've been hard work," she guessed.
"Hell of a lot of it." I glowered at the dog, and the dog did so in return.
She laughed again.
Eyes widened when she registered that Ichigo was there.
"Oh, well, hello! My name's Nel, what's yours?" She held out a hand in greeting, and Ichigo reluctantly reached for it.
"Hi, my name's Kurosaki Ichigo."
She smiled at him, and I expected the same for Ichigo, but I could tell the smile was forced.
I raised an eyebrow at that.
"Well, I gotta run, Grimmjow-san, Ichigo-san. I still have to buy some tomatoes for the pasta I have to make for Lily. Oh, and here's your dog." She tugged him by the collar, and the dog whined some.
I nearly kicked it, but held back.
Nel waved one last time, and disappeared around the next corner.
We looked at the dog for some time, and it looked guilty.
If I was Toshiro, I would back-hand it, but of course, it was just an animal.
It didn't know better.
We stopped by the pet store to buy it a leash, hooking it to its collar.
I studied it, seeing how the engraved name of 'Sajin' was carved into the metal, glinting in the setting sun.
Ichigo and I thought it best that I hold onto the leash for fear that it would start running again.
We decided that I should keep it at the house and tell Toshiro 'bout it after anger management class.
As we walked back to my apartment, I had to admit that today was eventful.
And that somehow, some way, I wanted to do something like this with Ichigo again…
I steered my eyes over to him.
He was being unusually quiet.
Ever since we retrieved the dog.
I bumped my shoulder against his.
"Got somethin' on your mind?"
He shook his head.
I raised an eyebrow at that.
"Ya sure?"
He seemed to hesitate, and I could see his eyebrows bunching together in musing.
"I don't want you to take this the wrong way, because it really isn't any big deal, but…" He bit his lip. "Who was that girl? The one we met?"
I was stunned.
I thought that I did something wrong again.
But I just smiled in the end.
"That was Nel; I work with her at the bar."
"Y-yeah?" he asked.
I looked at him through the sides of my eyes.
He looked flustered and somewhat…
Irritated…
I grinned.
"She's pregnant, Ichigo." That seemed to reduce his annoyance, and he turned a questioning eye at me.
I ruffled his silky hair. "And even if she weren't…" I leaned in close to his ear, his blush reddening even more. "I only have my eyes on one person…"
He stood there, dumbfounded, as I continued to walk Sajin back to my apartment.
I wondered if I was too bold with that comment.
And before I began to sweat with paranoia, Ichigo grabbed onto my shoulder and spun me around.
"Y-you… you mean that?" he asked warily.
I smiled. "Yeah… I do."
He stared at his feet. Kept his arms hanging by his side.
And then looked up at me.
Rose on his toes to wrap his arms around my neck, and bring me down to his height.
It was just like that dream.
Except it felt more amazing.
More powerful.
More real.
And as Sajin began to pull at the leash, I ignored it, and focused solely on Ichigo's lips.
We separated for a moment, and our eyes stilled.
"Grimmjow…" he whispered against my lips. "I think… I like you…"
