Again … thanks to all of you who've kept up with the story. I've enjoyed and appreciated all your input.
A big thank you to daiseyscrapper for her encouragement … gave me that extra push I needed to finish.
Hope you enjoy this new chapter and, as always, thank you Bailey for your help and advice.
Chapter 12
Ronon woke in the early hours of morning from the shouts and screams of war and the distorted faces of loved ones cut down by the enemy as they ran for their lives. Working hard to push the nightmare images from his mind he focused on the sky waiting for the sweat to dry and his breathing to slow. This was not the time to dream of failed battles … not the time to think of all the loss he'd endured. Instead, his purpose was to bring some perspective to his life, to lie the past to rest, to say good-bye.
Lying in the dark he couldn't help but think about Jennifer … wondering what she was doing, hoping she was missing him. Once he'd admitted to himself his love for the young doctor thoughts of her were never far away… she was always on his mind. Thinking of both women he'd allowed in his life he realized they had a lot in common. They were both healers who passionately loved their professions and they both loved him without reservation. After Melena passed he'd always thought he'd die young fighting the Wraith, chasing shadows of his former life. Jen gave him the confidence to believe for a long life, the desire to grow old with her.
Melena was his first love … his entire life revolved around her smile, her touch, her body. He tried to think of how long it'd been since he'd held her hand or shared a meal with her. As he slowly surrendered to his body's need for sleep he realized he'd been apart from his fiancé for almost as long as he'd know her. It was time to let her go, time to start living again. Time to sleep.
~OOO~
Jennifer packed the last of her toiletries into her duffle bag and left her quarters not even bothering to lock her door. Walking into the gate room she checked her watch noting the time at 19:00 hours … still time if she was lucky to find transportation home once she reached Cheyenne Mountain.
"Doc … I'm sorry about your dad," Sheppard offered as he walked up beside Jennifer awkwardly. "The SGC has made arrangements for you to catch a military transport out of Peterson for Minneapolis … they'll have a car waiting for you when you arrive."
"Thanks Colonel … I appreciate your help," she sighed sadly.
"You've had a rough year Jennifer, take as much time as you need," he encouraged. Hopefully some time away from her job would help get her through this rough patch. Sheppard hated the thought of losing her but worried it might be a real consequence in light of recent events.
Jennifer took a quick look around hoping to catch some small glimpse of Ronon before she walked through the waiting wormhole.
"I'll let him know what happened," John assured her.
"Probably better this way," she grimaced before taking the final steps to the event horizon.
~OOO~
Laura paced back and forth in the debarkation room waiting for Jennifer to walk through from the Pegasus galaxy. She wasn't sure what was going on just that Colonel Caldwell said a personal matter brought Dr. Keller back to Earth and General Landry requested she meet her when the doctor arrived.
Hearing the chevrons engage only served to drive the Lieutenant's blood pressure up a few more notches. She wasn't a patient woman when it came to the unknown. Shortly she looked up and saw her best friend standing at the top of the ramp looking lost and alone. Watching Jennifer slowly make her way down to the floor had Laura thinking the worst … did something happen to Evan … was Ronon okay… did some horrible skirmish push her over the edge? Before she could think of any other terrible disasters, Jennifer was walking into her waiting arms.
Jen collapsed in her best friend's arms … the arms of a loved one to hold her and grieve with her … someone to take care of her, which is exactly what she needed.
"What's going on Sweetpea?" Laura asked trying to keep the urgency out of her voice.
Jennifer finally felt enough release to still Laura's worries, "My dad died," Jen whispered through her tears.
"Let's get you checked in," Laura stated, walking her toward the infirmary. "I'll get us some transportation while you get your physical taken care of."
Lieutenant Cadman contacted Major Marks on the Daedalus asking for a big favor. Next she went through the proper channels to request a few days off until they headed for the Pegasus again. Jennifer needed her and she'd do everything possible to be with her.
General Landry instructed Walter to make all the arrangements needed to get the women to Jennifer's home as quickly as possible. By the time Jen was through with her physical everything was set. First they were beamed up to the Daedalus then down to the air base in Minnesota … Laura quickly signed out a car and they were on the road for the short drive to Chippewa Falls.
~OOO~
Ronon woke feeling free … like a huge weight had been lifted. He knew he'd always miss the life that was taken from him… the people he held dear… the places that helped shape the person he was today… all of it gone but never forgotten. He was ready to say good-bye to Melena and make a life with Jennifer if she'd have him. He'd one last thing to do before he left. Digging through his pack he found his radio, turning it on he placed it over his ear ready to communicate with Sheppard when he called.
Throwing his pack over his shoulder Ronon began jogging toward the main road and back to the neighborhood of his youth. Finding the market place once again he stood on the road with his eyes closed drawing on childhood recollections to guide him. Turning to the left he began walking west hoping to find the park he'd spent so much time in as a child.
As he walked through the neighborhood he searched for anything that would spark a recollection of where he was. There'd been far less destruction on this side of town than those parts closer to the city center, the industrial core. The further from the gate the less damage from vandals, he reasoned. Scavengers were predisposed to laziness … furniture, food and resources were much easier to cart through the gate when you only had to drag them a few blocks rather than a few miles.
Ronon had been walking for close to an hour when he spotted an open area up ahead on his right. Picking up his pace he quickly covered the distance and soon stood in front of the expansive recreational area … or what was left of it. During the time of its glory the acres of land boasted several small bodies of water with one larger lake used for boating and swimming. Many times he'd come to the park with his family to picnic and relax for the day. He'd loved this place more than any other.
This is where he'd secretly watched Melena when they were both young … where he'd first lost his heart to the fair-haired beauty. During their teen years they'd wordlessly wandered along the paths holding hands daydreaming about their future together. Here is where he'd first kissed Melena … where he'd asked her to be his mate … where they'd dreamed about children.
Straight ahead he could see what remained of the playground. Surprisingly some of the metal structures were still standing… the swings and play bars stood defiantly against the wreckage bringing a smile to the warrior's face.
Moving over to the swings Ronon sat quietly swaying as he thought of Jennifer and the life he hoped for. He never wanted to forget Sateda or the life he'd shared with Melena. The love he had for her was bore out of his youth … a time when everything was fresh and new … he felt like he could conquer the world. His love for Jennifer was a love felt as a man … passion and need… the hope of companionship and family. With Jennifer he wanted to conquer the world with her by his side… he needed her by his side.
"Ronon … this is Sheppard, please respond."
"Go ahead Sheppard," he answered, pulled from his thoughts.
"Hey buddy, you ready for pickup?"
"Yeah, I'm just south of the drop-off."
"Got you on the detector … I'll be right there," Sheppard stated, deciding to land in the open area he saw on the HUD.
Ronon stood wandering through the play area saying one last goodbye to his world … his family … his past and especially to Melena. It was time to move on … time to love again.
"So … was it what you hoped for?" Sheppard asked as they rose in the air heading back toward the gate.
"It was good," he grunted.
"Did you want to make any stops before we leave … the city … your old barracks … anywhere?" his teammate asked.
"Saw all of that when I was running from the Wraith … I'm ready to go home," the Satedan announced.
"I like the sound of that," Sheppard said smiling.
~OOO~
Laura brought the bags in and started a fire while Jennifer slowly wandered around the house lost in thought. The Lieutenant watched her friend run her hands along the bookshelves while looking at the faces in the picture frames.
Lots of memories in this room, Jennifer thought to herself… the fleece blanket she'd made her dad two Christmases ago thrown over the back of the couch… his flannel shirt on the coat hook by the front door … the photo albums in a stack next to the fireplace. So much to do … she wasn't sure if she'd be able to handle it all.
Laura found her upstairs after she'd talked with the neighbor and stowed their bags.
"Hey … how're you doing?" Laura asked sitting next to Jen on her father's bed.
"This is hard … I can't wrap my head around it."
"Take your time. I just talked to your neighbors … they were worried when they saw the lights on … wanted to make sure you were okay," Laura explained.
"I'll go see them tomorrow," Jen said absently, looking over the items on the dresser.
"Your refrigerator is sparkly cleaned and very empty," the Lieutenant chuckled. But I did find some hot chocolate packets so I'll go make us something to drink and meet you back in the kitchen."
Jennifer went to the walk-in closet and turned on the light, running her hand over the hanging clothes she began to recount fond memories conjured up by the different shirts. So much flannel, she chuckled to herself, but then again they did live in Wisconsin. Several of the shirts she remembered giving him for Christmases and birthdays and several items she remembered seeing her whole life. Walking out to the dresser she randomly opened drawers curious of the contents. Next she looked through the small bookcase recognizing many of the titles … looking at his nightstand she picked up the current book he'd been reading and held it to her chest. It all seemed so overwhelming.
"Cocoa's ready," Laura called up the stairs.
"I'm coming."
The women settled at the kitchen table with cocoa and a bowl of pretzels poured from a bag Laura had found in the pantry. "Have you eaten anything today? Laura asked.
"No … but I'm okay. How 'bout you?"
"I was just coming out of the mess hall when Colonel Caldwell summoned me to his office. We'd just docked an hour before you walked through the gate."
"Thank you Laura … I don't think I can do this alone," Jen whispered.
"How long is your leave?" Laura asked.
"John said to take my time … I may not go back," she whimpered trying to hold back the emotions.
"Oh Sweetie … why wouldn't you want to go back?"
"I feel like my life's sort of in shambles right now. Ronon is with Amelia, and I just can't be friends anymore … it hurts too much. The heartache of the last mission just about did me in but Ronon was there to get me through … wouldn't have made it without him but when we got back reality set in and I realized I'd never be more than just a friend in his eyes. Not sure if I can live in the same city with him right now."
"Don't make any hasty decisions. Let's talk about it more tomorrow after you've had a chance to rest."
Laura sent Jennifer off to take a hot bath while she cleaned up the kitchen. Finding a notepad next to the phone she started making a grocery list hoping to slip out in the morning to buy some supplies before Jen woke.
Jennifer loved the tub in the upstairs bathroom. She remembered how she's begged her father to keep the old claw foot bathtub when he was remodeling a few years back. Before she left for Atlantis she took an extended trip home and laughed hysterically when she viewed all the new features of the updated room that'd been built around her beloved bathtub. Soaking in the water she couldn't help but smile through the tears knowing how much her father loved her. How would she make it without him?
After locking up for the night Laura climbed the stairs feeling helpless … she didn't know what to do for Jennifer to help her through this tough time. She hated the thought of her staying on Earth but knew she'd support her in whatever she decided. She wished there were something that needed to be defused or blown up … then she'd feel useful. Regardless of Ronon's words … or lack of … she still believed the man loved Jen and hated to see her friend give up. Hopefully tomorrow would be better.
Jennifer woke from a bad dream unable to grasp the contents before it faded leaving her awake and agitated. Putting on her robe and slippers she headed downstairs to make herself a cup of decaf tea. She'd noticed when she first arrived that her aunt had left her notes and mail on the side table next to the front door… retrieving the correspondence she sat reading through the pile while she sipped on her tea.
Opening the large oversized envelope she pulled out the contents spreading it on the table. The first thing she noticed was the death certificate. How could my father have died over a month ago and I didn't even know, she asked herself. Shouldn't I have felt something … known something was wrong? Maybe if she hadn't been so self-absorbed in her own personal life she'd have wondered why she hadn't gotten an email or letter in a long time. Maybe if she hadn't been so desperate to win Ronon's affections the past year she'd have made a point of getting home more often. Brushing the tears aside she growled at herself, vowing not to slide into a pity party over circumstances she couldn't change.
Next she unfolded a thick set of documents to find the loan papers on the house. Stapled to the top sheet was the deed to the house showing it'd been paid off several years ago. She made a pile with his social security card, union card, his insurance policy, and bank statements. Looking at the current balance in the account she let out a small gasp at what her father had saved over the years.
The next envelope contained mail that was probably collected by the neighbors … mostly fourth-class junk mail. Moving on she reached for a portfolio that was folded and tied with an attached string holding all her father's investments. He'd planned so carefully for retirement and he'd never get to enjoy it … never get to see any future grandchildren … never get to walk her down the aisle or help her buy her first house.
This was all too depressing she thought. Leaving the papers scattered across the table she picked up her tea cup placing it in the sink before turning the light off. Hopefully it'll all look better in the morning. Isn't that what Ronon told her not that long ago, she reminded herself.
~OOO~
Sheppard lifted the jumper to the jumper bay as the gate shut down behind them. Once settled the men walked down the ramp as John's radio went off informing him he was needed in the control room.
"Lorne needs me … you hungry?" the Colonel asked as they made their way through the corridor.
"Yeah … I need to do something first."
"I'll meet you in the mess hall in thirty minutes," John suggested hoping to talk to him about Jennifer's situation before anyone else blurted it out.
Ronon walked to his quarters dropping off his pack before leaving to find Jennifer. He had so much he wanted to tell her … so much he wanted to ask her as well. Approaching her door he ran his hand over the sensor announcing his presence. When she didn't answer he went through the process again in case she didn't hear the chimes the first time. When again she didn't answer the door he started to leave but on impulse he tried the door to see if it was locked. As the door opened he stepped in calling her name. Curiosity getting the best of him he stepped in a bit further looking around the room.
Closing his eyes he inhaled deeply rewarded with the distinct smell of lavender, strawberries and antiseptic… the smells that were uniquely Jennifer. Looking around the room he felt something was off. Her bed was neatly made but several dresser drawers were slightly ajar. The sitting area seemed a bit disturbed … pillows out of place, paper on the floor, throw blanket tossed aside, definitely something was off. Glancing toward the bathroom he could see towels on the floor next to the toilet, which seemed out of character for Jennifer. Turning back to the sitting area his eyes fell again to the paper on the floor. Picking up what looked like a letter he briefly scanned the contents shocked at what he read. Easing himself down to the couch he started at the beginning and read through the letter twice before bolting from the room. He needed to find Jennifer.
"Sheppard," he announced as he approached the table, "where's Jennifer?"
"That's want I wanted to talk to you about … sit down," he gently ordered. "Her dad died and she gated back to Earth last night."
"Is she alone?" he asked worriedly. He hated the thought of her going through this by herself.
"I'm not sure … she left here alone but I don't know if she met up with family or friends once she got to Wisconsin," Sheppard offered, hoping to ease his teammate's worry.
"I need another favor," the warrior growled.
