A/N I feel like I actually gain energy reading all the vexed reviews concerning the cliffhangers. Like some kind of vampire living off your misery. And oddly enough I love being called cruel, evil genius and such… Am I weird?... Maybe…

Anyway, an unusual fast update because I just had to finish it; I longed for writing this chapter for so long. And even though I have to be at work in less than 6 hours and still have some sleep to get I just couldn't stop writing. So, better be grateful, my faithful readers!


Chapter 12
Heart I

New York City, New York
Manhattan
05:57 PM

The first thing Alex does after entering her home is going into the bathroom. She needs a shower, warm and long.

Her wet clothes clung to her body because of a rainstorm which of course had to start the moment she left the airport. Even the short distance from the terminal to the taxi and then from the taxi to her apartment complex have been enough to get her soaked to the bone.

Ironically enough the rain seemed to cease the moment she entered her apartment, because as she gazes out of the bathroom window she can't see rain falling from the sky, not a single drop is splashing against her window. Instead a few rays of winter's sun pierce through the cloud ceiling. The weather clearly mocks her for unknown reasons.

Shivering she pries the clothes off and hangs them on the towel rack to let them dry. She then steps in the shower and lets the warm water tickle her skin.

She sighs highly pleased as the water doesn't only wash away the cold but also all of her mind troubling thoughts, if only for the duration of the shower. She closes her eyes and welcomes the pure emptiness in her head.

That is until a flash of blonde hair enters her mind and causes her to snap the eyes open. She shakes her head and turns the shower off. She doesn't want to think of her yet, she wants to have at least one evening without any worrying about her job, about Piper, about anything, just reading and going to bed, nothing more.

So she pushes the thought of Piper aside, far away and begins to dry her skin. A knock at her door lets her spin her head around, but she just sighs and decides to ignore it.

"One relaxed evening, is that too much to ask?", she grumbles after a second and very much louder knock echoes through the apartment.

After the third knock she grabs her bathrobe, throws it on and steps out of the bathroom. "I'm coming, god!", she calls heavily annoyed towards the front door.

She opens it in one swift move, ready to yell at whoever interrupts her peace. But when she sees the woman in front of her apartment all the words are caught in her throat.

When she finally finds her voice again all she can do is force out a very thin "Piper?"

"Could we have that talk now?", the blonde asks her directly. So much for dealing with her on another day.

Alex sighs and turns away. She really doesn't want to talk about anything with her right now, not as unprepared as she is. She still has absolutely no idea of what to say to her and how to act around her. All she can think about now is, what if I let something slip? One wrong word and everything goes down.

But sending her away wouldn't do anything good either, so she steps aside and invites her in. "I'll just change", she then mumbles and leaves the blonde behind. "Take a seat", she calls from her bedroom as she puts on some more decent clothes than a simple bathrobe. She doesn't bother drying her hair or wrapping it into a towel. Let the water drip on her clothes, that's by far not her biggest problem right now.

She finds the blonde in the living room, drumming absently with her fingers on the table. But as soon as her eyes land on the right hip of Piper, Alex stops her approach.

She must've come here right after work, the DEA badge Alex touched herself is decently clipped to her belt, shoving the awful reality right into her face. Right next to a gun. She's carrying a fucking gun.

Whenever she saw a gun in the past it was usually carried by Kubra or one of his men. And somebody always died not long after or at least got hurt. Badly. It's a logical relation; guns and death. Normally she has no problem with seeing a gun though, it was never pointed at her before, but seeing the blonde with a gun causes a different reaction from her. She feels as if she'd stand in front of it, the barrel pointed at her, trapped with absolutely no way out.

When she senses the blue eyes on her, she snaps out of her momentarily frozen state and looks up to meet Piper's gaze. Her face is nearly emotionless, only a hint of regret visible.

The question is; regret for what? Being here? Bringing a gun? Or for something she's about to do? Is that why she has the badge and gun with her? Because she's actually on the clock? Here to arrest her?

"Listen, Pipes", Alex says without really realizing that she just spoke, her mouth just moves as a reaction to her rising panic, "I don't think that…" A deep breath and sigh follow. What do I say?, she asks herself rubbing her forehead. This isn't how she planned it, the few things she planned anyway. This won't work, this won't end well. "We shouldn't continue this", she just says and then pauses for a second almost saying relationship and instead settling for a "whatever we have."

The blonde doesn't react in any way. She doesn't seem hurt, shocked or confused. She just continues to stare at her.

"I just can't…", Alex carries on after realizing that Piper isn't going to talk. She begins to make up excuses, hastily put together in her mind, but they don't even make a lot of sense in her own head and she knows that she sounds awfully unconvinced. When she finishes she looks at Piper with eyes that beg her to say something. Anything.

The blonde doesn't move a single muscle besides her mouth as she calmly and emotionless begins to talk. "I know that you're a drug dealer."

With that everything around Alex is getting unimportant. Her eyes widen, her breathings stops, even her blood seems to freeze in her veins. She just stands there, stares at the blonde, does nothing, says nothing, thinks nothing.

When her brain complains about the missing oxygen and her vision darkens into a blurry mess in consequence, she forces her lungs to suck fresh air in. As soon as her brain is able to function again and bypasses the state of shock, nausea hits her.

She stumbles backwards before she turns around and rushes towards the bathroom. She drops down onto her knees with a loud thud so fast that she knows she'll have bruises there tomorrow and then vomits her entire today's meal.

Halfway through the progress she can hear footsteps coming closer and delicate hands pull her wet hair back. She feels a soothing touch and circular motions on her back.

After heaving every bit of her stomach's contents Alex flushes the toilet, turns around and leans with her back against the tiled wall. As she looks up, she sees Piper holding a bottle of water she must've gotten from the kitchen before going after her.

Hesitating she takes it from her hands with a barely audible "thanks", unscrews it and sips it to sooth her now irritated mucosae as well as to dispel the unpleasant taste in her mouth.

"I guess denying it would be useless know, what?", Alex mumbles after a few minutes of averting Piper's eyes and drinking the water. Wouldn't she have had this particular reaction she could've negate Piper's accusation, but she did. She did feel as if somebody knocked all the air out of her and she did throw up. It kind of equals a confession.

"Probably", Piper sighs and sits down as well across from the brunette.

"Although I have to clarify here", Alex says with a short and hollow laugh, trying and failing to make this situation lighter than it is, "technically I am not a dealer." The blonde nods but stays silent, clearly not really any more content with the whole situation than Alex. "So… Are you going to arrest me?"

"I don't know", Piper takes a deep breath and looks away before she closes her eyes, "I really don't know."

Alex nods a bit relieved to hear that, because although it isn't a no, it clearly isn't a yes either. Maybe there's still a way out of this fucked up situation.

Upon thinking about it a thought enters her brain. A thought she already had when she saw the three letters on the jacket. "So was it all part of a bigger plan?", she asks the agent with an edge to her voice.

Confused Piper's eyes instantly snap back to her, "what?"

"Seduce the drug dealer and then turn her in?"

The blonde gaze switches from confused to livid. "First of all; I didn't seduce anybody", she huffs and pushes herself of the wall to stand up, "and second off; fuck you!" She then simply walks away from her.

"Well, fuck you, too", Alex calls after her and begins to stand up. Her legs shake a little bit under her weight due to the sudden food loss, but after a moment of steadying herself she feels able enough to move across the room and follow the blonde. She half expected her to be gone, stormed out of her apartment, but instead she stands in her living room, staring at the books once more. "Congratulations, you did well. Ready to take me in now?", she adds fuel to the fire.

Piper doesn't turn around. She shakes her head, not in denial though, it's more a motion of disbelief. "Really, Al, fuck you", she sighs.

"Great, we're communicating", Alex drawls sarcastically whereat Piper finally turns around and stares right into her eyes. Alex hasn't seen her like that before; furious and hurt at the same time and she feels her own anger cease in an instant, if only for a fraction.

Then something happens what Alex didn't expect. Piper takes a fast step forward and forcefully pushes her shoulders so that the brunette stumbles back and hits the wall, screaming another "fuck you!" at her. A shocked grunt escapes her lips and before she can even grasp what's going on, Piper turns, grabs her jacket and leaves, heading for the front door.

"Oh no, you don't just leave", Alex mumbles and walks after her with long strides. She grabs her left arm as soon as it's in her reach and Piper's instincts as cop seem to kick in.

The blonde drops her jacket to the floor before she yanks her arm out of Alex's hold, spins around, moves her right hand to her hip, draws her weapon from the holster and holds it up with both hands.

Alex instantly takes a step back in shock as she stares at the barrel. She automatically raises her hands above her head with widened eyes and her breathing increases rapidly. She always thought it would be a thug from another drug cartel or even from Kubra's who'd be the first to ever point a gun at her. The notion of it being a cop never really entered her mind. Especially not the one right in front of her.

"Oh my god", Piper whispers after seconds have gone by, suddenly all the anger in her eyes and voice is gone. Slowly she lowers her gun and moves her left hand up to run it through her hair and stops the motion midway, grabbing a fistful of her own blonde hair while some tears fill her eyes. "I'm sorry, Al. I'm so sorry."

Not until the gun is safely tucked away in the holster again Alex dares to move. She lowers her hands, slows her breathing down to a normal speed and her muscles begin to relax while Piper is still chanting quiet apologies.

After pulling herself back together, Alex slowly approaches the blonde, touches her left arm and pulls it out of the hair. "It's alright", she says softly, her voice astonishingly steady. She expected it to be wavering, but she seems to be way calmer than she'd guessed.

After pushing the arm down completely she embraces the blonde and caresses her back in smooth motions, much similar to what Piper did earlier, just that this time nobody is vomiting. The "sorry"s fade away and Piper raises her arms to cling at the brunette, pulling herself closer into the hug and burying her face in the taller woman's shoulder.

A short chuckle escapes Alex as she thinks about this. She's the one to have a gun pointed at her and now stands here, comforting the person who did the gun pointing. Things between them seem to get only weirder.

"Come on", Alex whispers and guides them back into the living room. She waits until Piper is seated and stares at the table in front of her before she leaves for the kitchen. She has the strong feeling that they will need some alcohol. At least she needs some, even though it's a very bad idea since her stomach is pretty much empty.

She comes back with a bottle of wine, fills two glasses and begins to drink from her own whereat Piper just stares at hers and slowly slides it across the table's surface. "It wasn't a plan", she suddenly whispers.

"I know", Alex sighs. Deep down she didn't think that the blonde would be capable of doing something like that anyway. But as soon as the thought entered her mind, her anger of the mere possibility took over. "Since when do you know, though?", she asks out of curiosity.

"Really knowing? Not until you confirmed it", Piper smileys sadly at the brunette and then begins to drink from the wine as well. "But the idea popped into my head the day before yesterday. And suddenly it all made sense"

"How'd you guess?", Alex is pretty sure that she didn't say anything that could've hinted at her profession.

The blonde shrugs, "I don't think I can tell you that."

That's basically the answer Alex expected, she probably would have to look into the files to find that out. Except if… "Am I in your files?"

Piper just looks at her for a moment, considering her answer before she shakes her head and mouths a silent no. Again Alex is more than relieved. That means that nothing of this is official, that Piper really didn't plan to arrest her. At least not today.

"Is it my turn to ask questions now?", Piper asks her quietly.

The brunette shifts uncomfortable in her seat, is this going to be some kind of interrogation? Even though this is nothing official, Piper is still an agent and she is still a criminal. Being questioned by her just feels that way… But she gestures for her to carry on with whatever is on her mind and drinks more of the wine, already feeling a bit of the alcohol due to her empty stomach.

"Do you know about the drug found at JFK?", Piper asks in a tone that implies that she already thinks to know the answer and just wants to hear it from the brunette who sighs with a nod. "Did you have anything to do with it?", now it sounds more like a plea. A plea for her to be wrong with this assumption.

But of course she isn't, Piper had put the pieces together, Alex doesn't know how she did it, but she did it. She hesitates for a moment, looks at the blonde with sorrowful eyes, practically affirming it before she even tries to explain herself, "I told you I'm an importer."

"Well", Piper sighs and leans back in her chair, "I expected something like art", she looks around in the room and smiles a bit, "or books."

"Sorry", Alex smiles as well, happy that the situation seems to lighten up, at least something, but then Piper's face darkens again as another thought seems to come to her mind. She turns back to Alex.

"So, did you kill Leila Smith?"

"God, no!", Alex answers instantly, shocked that Piper even thinks that she could be capable of that. And then regrets all the more accusing her of being played by her earlier. This is how Piper must've felt. Betrayed. Resentful.

Relief washes over the agent's face before she furrows her brow and tilts her head, "who did it, then?"

Alex sighs and turns away from the questioning look. She shakes her head in a curt motion, "I can't tell you that."

"But you know."

She closes her eyes and nods. "Yes." She remembers the cold breeze, the whimpers and sobs. How Leila looked at her with those pleading eyes. The cuts on her shivering arms. The loud sound of the gunshot. She remembers the blood, how it sprayed out of the head across the short pier and water, how it spread under the motionless body and melted the snow. "She didn't deserve it", she suddenly whispers and opens her eyes again to look back at the woman across from her.

"But it is what happens when you cross a drug cartel", Piper finishes the unspoken truth. Alex agrees with a nod and with that unknowingly confirms Piper's strong presumption of it being done by a drug cartel. "You know, you probably could help us", Piper suggests in a low tone with hope in her voice.

But the brunette denies it instantly. "You just said yourself what happens if you cross certain people", she sighs and drinks more of the wine, "and I'm not ready to feed the fishes."

"You'd be protected", the blonde tries to reason.

"From some people you can't be protected, kid."

"Just think about it", Piper smiles sorrowful and empties her glass before she stands up and awkwardly waits a moment, staring out of the room. "I think I should go now."

Alex nods agreeing although she wouldn't mind if Piper stayed, if just for the company. But she understands it, this is much to deal with. She ushers her to the front door, on the way picking up the blonde's jacket from the floor and handing it to her.

As Piper puts it on her gaze falls on the gun again and a cold shiver runs down her spine at the recent memory of having it pointed directly at her face. That is definitely something she doesn't desire to repeat. Then she looks at the badge before it vanishes behind the thick jacket.

"What will you do now?", she asks the agent after she already opened the front door and holds it open for Piper to step through.

As she stands outside of the apartment she turns around to answer her. "Going home and get some sleep."

"That's not what I meant." She doesn't really fear that the blonde will detain her. Not anytime soon anyway. If that would've been her intention, she would've done it today, of that Alex is pretty sure. But the thought is there of course.

"I know", Piper answers and then leans in to claim the brunette's lips in a soft and tender kiss. She missed this, Alex realizes closing her eyes. The soft lips of hers, the smooth skin, the touch. Way too soon for her liking Piper pulls back again, whispering a short "bye."

When Alex opens her eyes she stares at nothing but darkness.


to be continued…
Heart II

WB79 & Guest: I do have some plans which go in that direction. But probably in a different way from what you'd suspect.