A long time had gone by, Elsa was fairly sure of that. Why that kept happening, she was less sure. Every time she ended up snuggling with Anna, minutes or even hours started melting away. It was so easy to let the rest of the universe pass unnoticed. That she had been far too long without her sister, that she and Anna completed each other on so fundamental a level that being apart had done them terrible harm, she knew, or at least was finding out. But it kept getting mixed up with these other feelings, things she didn't understand at all. Trying to make sense of it kept leading right back into getting lost in just being with Anna again. And she could tell Anna was having the same problem.
In a way, she almost wished she could be up on that mountain again, right in those moments when she cast her glove and the tiara away. She'd felt so free! In the thrill of truly letting her powers out for the first time, she'd forgotten for a short span even that she'd left Anna behind. And Anna had followed her anyway. Elsa had a fleeting vision of having remained up there, in a world where all was in her power and made sense. A world where the only one who could ever tell her what she should do or how she should feel was Anna.
She laughed to herself. It was a fantasy, of course. She might be immune to the freezing cold of the ice, but Anna wasn't. What had happened next in reality had proven that all too clearly. And without Anna, all she ever would have been was alone and afraid. Don't let them in, don't let them see... But she wanted Anna to see.
She wanted everyone to see! What she was capable of was never meant to be hidden away! There wasn't a one of all the people of Arendelle who'd spoken a word against her. All of that had been Hans and that awful Duke. It was as if all her kingdom together took their cue from Anna's own unwavering faith. And Anna had never doubted there was a reason for everything, Elsa knew; she'd only gotten so angry and hurt by not knowing what it was. And by being kept away.
Once again Elsa was struck by how everything that had ever gone wrong was could be traced back to being forced to shut Anna out. She hadn't wanted to. Being told she had no choice had been as terrible as that moment when the ice struck Anna. And it wasn't even true! If they would've just let me open the door for her, everything would have been okay! But she'd been too young to understand, and by the time she wasn't, she was too afraid to see anything but the fear.
Her thoughts were going in circles. Even that was Anna's doing. Only now, with Anna right here to calm her, did she dare let herself remember. She couldn't have borne a moment of it otherwise. Another soft giggle went through her. The idea of Anna as a force for calm! But it was true that being with Anna was the safest she'd ever felt.
Elsa opened her eyes - when had she shut them? - and just looked at Anna. Beautiful, redheaded, freckled, smiling Anna. She almost looked asleep, eyes closed and head nestled on Elsa's shoulder, breathing calm and even. Elsa reached up slowly to brush a few strands of that red hair out of Anna's face, and was belatedly amused to realize that yes, Anna had in fact dozed off in her arms. Am I really just that comfortable, Anna?
She couldn't blame her sister for being exhausted. The previous couple of days had been very eventful, and Anna had just finished having a snowball fight with her! Elsa could vouch for how tiring it could be to keep feeling so much intense emotion, too. If a little afternoon nap was Anna's solution to all the overload, it seemed to Elsa like a pretty good one.
Of course, sooner or later, Elsa was going to have to put some amount of effort and attention into actually being the Queen of Arendelle. As much as the image of sitting on the throne dealing with nobles and such while Anna drooled on her shoulder continued to amuse her, it probably wouldn't work very well. I suppose if she was asleep, it would at least inspire less comment! But the question remained, was this intensity ever going to lessen? Would they get used to each other finally?
Do I even want to get used to her? As draining as this emotional back-and-forth was, as confusing as what seemed to come with it was being, there was the constant undercurrent of raw, unqualified happiness. She didn't want that feeling going anywhere!
Elsa shook her head. There wasn't anything that could ever make her stop being happy to be with Anna. I need you too badly, Anna... Nothing's ever going to take me away from you again.
